Author: Laurie Swinton

Blogger, writer, interested in communications, social media, lakeside living
Posted on in family, poetry, relationships, retirement

A message to my daughters

Author with her two daughters on a boardwalk

Years ago, when Grace and Clare were little, we used to take them to Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls. It was the perfect overnight getaway. We’d spend two full days in the water park and leave exhausted, waterlogged, and smiling.

On one trip, I bought a picture of a mother bear and two cubs in the gift shop. From that day forward, the three of us became Mama Bear and the two cubs.

Now my two cubs have left the den. My house is quieter, cleaner and more peaceful, but I miss the laughter, kibitzing around the dinner table and talks.

I started a group chat for the three of us and had to smile when Grace renamed it “Mama Bear and the two cubs”. We’ve been sharing pictures of our days, news and updates, and messages.

It was National Daughters Day last week. I’d like to dedicate this week’s #HappyAct to my beautiful daughters, Grace and Clare by sharing this message from the inspirational Judi Dench as told by author Donna Ashworth.

A message to my daughters
“Don’t prioritise your looks my friend, as they won’t last the journey.
Your sense of humour though, will only get better with age.
Your intuition will grow and expand like a majestic cloak of wisdom.
Your ability to choose your battles, will be fine-tuned to perfection.
Your capacity for stillness, for living in the moment, will blossom.
Your desire to live each and every moment will transcend all other wants.
Your instinct for knowing what (and who) is worth your time, will grow and flourish like ivy on a castle wall.
Don’t prioritise your looks my friend,
they will change forevermore, that pursuit is one of much sadness and disappointment.
Prioritise the uniqueness that make you you, and the invisible magnet that draws in other like-minded souls to dance in your orbit.
These are the things which will only get better.”

Judi Dench

Grace and Clare in South Carolina
Grace and Clare beside a lake
Posted on in family, inspiration, relationships, Uncategorized

What I learned from your Mom

Audrey Tarasick

The world lost a beautiful soul this past week. My friend, Audrey Tarasick passed away at the age of 95.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Audrey and wanted to let her four children know how much she meant to me and how much I learned from her. This is what I wrote. Some of it is tongue-in-cheek, but I think Audrey would have liked that. I hope by sharing it, you may learn from Audrey too.

What I learned from your Mom

Always trust a mother’s instincts and intuition
Never be in a hurry if you don’t have to be
Mushrooms are fun, well fun-gi

The strength of a person’s character is not defined by their size
Or how loudly they speak
But by quiet authority, compassion, and caring

Be true to yourself
Forge your own path in life
Don’t worry about what other people think

Any time is a good time for a skinny dip
Listen to children—you can learn much from them
How to make a perfect pie crust

David Attenborough is hot
Scottish country dancing is not
Fairy gardens are weird

Don’t let others tell you what you are capable of or can or can’t do
Love sometimes doesn’t conquer all
The importance of family

A good cup of coffee or glass of wine can cure most ails
Don’t babysit your grandkids; spend time with them instead
How to know the exact moment to sugar off

A love for the rugged stone-cropped landscape of Eastern Ontario
Always make a wide berth around a goose
The art of the country wave

Take time to bathe in the moonlight
Bask in the sunlight (with a hat and sunscreen)
Lounge by the pool

Never stop laughing
Never stop smiling
Never stop

Live life with grace and kindness
Have no regrets
Love unconditionally

Notes and explanations

  • On Audrey’s pie crust: This is a fib. I actually never learned how to make the ultimate pie crust from Audrey and wish I had spent more time in the kitchen with her so I could have, but I enjoyed many, many of her pies
  • On David Attenborough: For the last four decades or more, Audrey lived on her own. I once asked her if she would ever remarry or what type of man might sweep her off her feet. A devout nature lover, she replied without hesitation “David Attenborough”.
  • A note on “fairy gardens are weird”. Audrey loved fairy gardens. At one point, her sunroom was filled with them. I admired her creativity and love for her whimsical creations but I always found them weird and a bit creepy (but that’s just me)!
  • On the art of the country wave: I lived with Audrey the first summer I moved to Eastern Ontario. She went to great lengths to describe the different types of waves when you live in the country. You can read them in my blog post, “A country mile”
  • If you want to learn Audrey’s technique to tell the exact moment to sugar off when making maple syrup, see “Tap into liquid gold”
  • If you’d like to read more about this remarkable woman, see “Spend time with someone older and wiser”
Audrey in her nephew's hot rod

In her nephew’s hot rod at her 95th birthday bash this summer

Five women standing on a dock

Girls’ weekend at the cottage with three generations

Posted on in environment, nature

Pretend you didn’t hear anything

Garter snake in a kayak

The other day, I went for a late afternoon kayak. It was one of those glorious September days when the sun feels warm on your skin, the air is still and there is just a hint of colour in the leaves.

I watched the baby loons (our loons had two babies this year) being fed fish by their mother and mewing for more and the seagulls floating in the breeze, and kept paddling through the two channels into the back lake.

As I was sitting basking in the afternoon sun, I started to hear a rustling sound come from behind me. I’ve heard this sound before when a snake stowed away in my kayak.

I decided to adopt the strategy of pretending I didn’t hear anything even though I was pretty sure at this point it wasn’t a solo kayak trip.

The strategy was working just fine until my snake friend decided to make an appearance and slither past me under my life jacket towards the front of the boat.

I like snakes and I’ve been around them enough to know that they won’t hurt you if you just leave them alone. This guy was a harmless garter snake, but he clearly was a little put out that he was trapped in a moving hollow tube with no means of escape.

I didn’t see him for a few minutes, so went back to pretending he wasn’t there, until he started gliding towards me head first with his little red tongue wagging at me. His green and black silk body brushed the side of my leg and just as I started to stiffen, wondering what he was going to do next, something spooked him and he ducked under my life jacket again.

I paddled faster.

The next time he came out he slithered even farther up my leg, right to the top of my thighs, until he was almost resting on my lap, his beady little eyes looking up at me as if to say “You better get me out of this boat or else”. This was a little too close for comfort for my liking, and as I was planning my next move, he slid over my leg towards the back of the kayak.

I didn’t see him again for the rest of the trip.

Sometimes the best strategy is to just pretend you didn’t hear anything.

And if that fails and reality slithers up your leg, stay calm, breathe deeply, and paddle like hell.

Snake slithering out of a kayak

My snake friend finally escapes to land, and below, happy in his regular home amongst the weeds, looking for frogs.

Snake in weeds beside a lake
Posted on in environment, nature, travel

Of caves and caverns

Sea caves in St. Martin's New Brunswick

On our travels through New Brunswick at the end of August, we stumbled across some sea caves in the small oceanside town of St. Martin’s.

We explored them at dusk at low tide, when you could walk on the ocean floor. The light was perfect, and we marvelled at these strange and mystical caves carved into the striking Fundy-red coastline with bright green lines marking where land meets the sea and topped with rugged trees reaching out towards the ocean.

Humans have been fascinated by caves since the beginning of time. For some cultures, caves are where deities or mythical creatures were believed to inhabit. In other cultures, caves are often depicted as entrances to other realms and represent both the depths of the unconscious mind and the mysteries of the unknown.

I’ve always been fascinated by caves. One of the most beautiful caves we visited was Luray Caverns in Virginia, an astonishing underground world. As you descend into the caverns, you enter cathedral-sized rooms with ceilings ten stories high, filled with towering natural stone statues and strange and beautiful geological formations like stalacites and stalagmites*.

Everything is different underground. The light reflects and dances against the patterns in the rock. The air is filled with moisture, and the smell of sulphur and musty dew assail your nasal passages. Sounds resonate and echo eerily as you get lost in the mystical properties of the magical underground world being discovered.

You don’t have to venture as far as Virginia or New Brunswick to explore caves and caverns. Here are two great options in eastern Ontario—both are still open until Thanksgiving weekend:

  • Bonnechere Caves in Eganville, Ontario: Dave and I toured these caves several years ago carved into the Bonnechere River. Today, you must take a guided tour, but they are well worth it with waterfalls and a cool bat cave (with literally, hundreds of bats—optional for the faint of heart!)
  • Tyendinaga Cavens and Caves: These caves are located outside of Belleville and are the largest caves in Ontario. You must take a guided tour to learn about how the caves were formed 450 million years old. One of the most unique features is an underground wishing well.

This week’s #HappyAct is to explore a cave or cavern. Happy spelunking!

*Stalacites grow down from the ceiling of a cave; stalagmites grow from the ground up

Author in front of sea caves
Sea cave
Luray Caverns, Virginia

Some more pictures of the sea caves in St. Martin’s and above, stalacites in Luray Caverns in Virginia

Posted on in money, science of happiness

The happiness number in 2024

Denzel Washington quote: "Money doesn't buy happiness. Some people say it's a heck of a down paymen though."

In 2010, Gallup published a study asking Americans what amount of income would make them happy. The answer was $75,000 (USD).

In a new study released this summer, Americans were asked what amount of money would make them feel content, as measured by their liquid net worth. 56% of Americans responded $200,000.

This amount would give them enough of a safety net, peace of mind, and presumably extra funds to pursue their interests and passions.

Millennial respondents said that they would be more content with a higher salary job, whereas Gen Z respondents preferred having a higher liquid net worth. The average salary in the United States at the end of 2023 was $59,384.

So what’s our takeaway here?

As families grapple with the higher cost of living, it’s getting harder and harder to maintain a financial cushion, and yet having that cushion helps alleviate stress, anxiety, and contributes to our overall happiness.

To maintain that cushion, we may need to change our spending habits. It’s more than about dollars and cents. It’s about happiness and common sense.

What’s your happiness number? Leave a comment.

Posted on in Food and drink, Hobbies

Hail to the mason jar

Grapes and beans in mason jars

Ever since I can remember, my chosen vessel of choice has been the humble mason jar.

My love affair with mason jars began in my university days, when my girlfriend Caralee and I would drive up each weekend to Kitchener Waterloo to stay at the Weber Hotel, the name we gave to the party central townhouse a bunch of our guy friends lived in going to Laurier and Waterloo.

When we arrived, the entire kitchen counter would be covered with dirty mason jars. It became a Friday night ritual to wash the jars and the rest of the dishes in preparation for the weekend party festivities.

It’s been a long time since my university party days, but my vessel of choice is still a mason jar.

The mason jar was invented in 1858 by a New Jersey-born tinsmith named John Landis Mason who was searching for a way to improve the relatively new practice of home canning. In the early days of canning, jars were soppered with wax and corks which was messy and didn’t have a tight seal. The revolutionary screw top lid of the mason jar created the perfect seal, keeping food fresh.

Mason jars are cheap, practically indestructible, and can be used for just about anything. Some of my friends they are the best way to keep berries and vegetables fresh. They’re also eco-friendly because you use them again, and again, and again.

Here are some things you can do with mason jars:

  • Store buttons, pushpins, and paper clips in them
  • Use them for crafts like candles and birdfeeders. See this website for ideas
  • Throw all your loose change in them
  • Fill them with ingredients for soup for a lovely homemade gift
  • Make rainy day (or retirement!) jars and put ideas in them for family trips and outings

And that’s just the beginning. The website Cotton Creations lists 60 different uses for mason jars.

It’s canning season. This week’s #HappyAct is to pay homage to the humble mason jar. Cheers!

Pink lemonade in a mason jar
Berries and grapes in mason jars

Ed. note: One of my Facebook friends posted the two photos above of the items she keeps in her mason jars in the fridge. I had downloaded the photos but can’t remember who posted them now, so whoever you are, I hope you don’t mind me sharing the photos and thanks for sharing your love of mason jars!

Posted on in entertainment, family, Food and drink, health and wellness, lifestyle, travel

A day at Nordik Spa

Four ladies in spa robes having lunch at Nordik Spa in Chelsea, QC

Last week, Dave’s sister and I took the girls to Nordik Spa in Chelsea Quebec.

It was a combination graduation gift and final girls’ trip before Grace and Clare leave for university this fall.

A day at Nordik is the ultimate in indulgence and relaxation.

As you walk up the several flights of steps to the impressive main lodge with massive wooden beams, you are welcomed by the sound of trickling waterfalls and the smell of burning wood in the fire pit cradled by bright red Adirondack chairs.

I’ve been to Nordik once before with my girlfriends and I remembered it takes an hour or so to fully embrace the spa experience.

The spa is divided into three main sections, Borea, where you can talk in whispers and low tones, Panorama, where you can chat freely and Kaskad, where there is complete silence. Thermal hot pools, some with waterfalls are interspersed with cold pools and saunas. Lounge chairs, hammocks, hammock chairs, and reading pavilions with wood fires are available for those who just want to sit and read and relax or listen to music.

Nordik spa is designed around the ancient Nordic ritual of thermotherapy, a treatment that alternates between hot and cold temperatures, followed by a rest period.

Thermotherapy deeply cleanses the body, eliminates toxins and can help with injury, chronic pain, rheumatism, arthritis, depression and sleeping. To truly embrace the full spa experience, you’re supposed to complete the entire cycle three times.

We started the morning in the social area with its infinity pool and magnificent views of Gatineau Park and the city of Ottawa. It was a cool, cloudy day, so the warm bubbles of the thermal pool felt wonderful as we chatted and caught up with Dave’s sister.

Clare embraced the full spa experience, opting to do a cold plunge next, but I figured I get enough cold water immersion experience swimming in my lake, so I went for a sauna and some hammock time instead.

Grace’s favourite was the heated rock bed sauna. It was so relaxing, a person fell asleep and was snoring!

After a few hours of thermal pools and saunas, we enjoyed a delicious lunch in their Finalandia restaurant. One of the things I love most about Quebec is you never get a bad meal and their restaurant is excellent. We enjoyed a cheese board, roasted red pepper hummous, broccoli soup, brisket sandwich on focaccia bread topped off with a tiramisu cheesecake and warm chocolate brownie with ice cream.

As the afternoon sun finally peeped out, we finished the day where we started, chatting in the thermal pool and looking over the gorgeous views of Gatineau Park.

Grace kept asking me what we should do next, and I would reply, “Whatever you want, that’s the beauty of this place.”

This week’s #HappyAct is to pamper yourself at a spa day. Enjoy!

Four ladies in front of the entrance to Nordik Spa in Chelsea, QC
Posted on in community, sports, Uncategorized

Try a new sport like Stocksport

Stocksport lanes with stocks and daube in the middle

I once worked with a fellow who said never try a new sport after 50. He said if you’ve played a sport like hockey or skiing all your life, you can keep doing it well into your 70s or 80s, but never start a new sport after 50 because it was a recipe for disaster.

I’ve recently started playing stocksport or ice stock with our local South Frontenac Stockport Club.

Ice stock is a winter sport that originated in Austria and Southern Germany. It’s like curling, but instead of throwing rocks, you throw stocks into the house. In the summer, it’s called stocksport when you play on a concrete surface and in winter it’s known as ice stock when you play on ice.  

Teams of four slide their stocks to get closest to a round rubber target that looks like a puck called the “daube” which is placed in the middle of the house. The daube moves which makes the game more interesting and adds an extra layer of strategy from curling. You also can switch out the plates on the stock to make your stock go faster (for take-outs) and slower.

Ice Stock Sport has been demonstrated at the Winter Olympic Games on two occasions.

While stocksport isn’t widely known in Canada, there is a devoted group of stockers and our little club punches well above its weight, sending members to the World Championships and competing internationally.

For anyone looking for a new sport or pastime, I’d highly recommend it. It’s a highly social game, so it’s a great way to meet new people in your area, easy to learn and play (I’m already getting the hang of it), and fun.

What I love most about our South Frontenac Stocksport Club is how warm and welcoming everyone is. The club includes people from ages 10 to 80 from all walks of life. Everyone is treated equally and greeted with a smile and encouraging word, no matter how new to the sport you are or how good you are.

Yesterday the club held its annual tournament. My team placed third out of eight teams, winning the bronze prize (our choice of coolers, awesome!)

This week’s #HappyAct is to try a new sport. To learn more about the South Frontenac Stocksport Club, follow them on Facebook.

Competitors throwing stocks in stocksport
Competitors pointing at stocks in tournament
Posted on in lifestyle, retirement, work

Goodbye alarm clocks

Coffee mug on my back deck

If you read last week’s post, you’ll know this weekend marks my first days of being officially retired.

I made some retirement pledges last week, but forgot one very important one: I pledge to never set an alarm again unless it is to catch a plane or train.

You don’t need to be retired to make this pledge.

I’m not a morning person. Either is Clare. Our morning routine was to eat silently together at the breakfast table, then barely say a word to each other during the car ride to work and school.

I learned years ago I was much happier when my life wasn’t being ruled by an alarm so I stopped setting one.

It’s easier to do than you think if you go to bed roughly around the same time each night and get up at the same time each morning. (If you’re on irregular shifts, I’m guessing it would be far more difficult).

Your body naturally self-regulates and on weekdays, I would wake up within a 15-minute window each morning.

There will be days when you sleep in and have to rush around a bit, but for me it was worth it to never hear that blasted alarm go off.

This week’s #HappyAct is to stop setting an alarm. You’ll be happier for it.

Photo: Enjoying my first coffee retired in my beautiful new mug my friend Allison gave me as a retirement gift.

Posted on in health and wellness, lifestyle, money, work

My Retirement Pledge

Me at a work event booth for South Frontenac Township

I’m retiring this week. After working for the past two years for my local municipality, I’m hanging up my keyboard (well, at least my work keyboard) and making plans for a future that doesn’t involve paid work.

It’s exciting and daunting at the same time and I realize how lucky I am.

I’ve made some pledges to myself, and because I am a firm believer that if you write down your goals or say them out loud, you’re more likely to stick to them, I am sharing them with you here today. Here are my retirement pledges.

I pledge to…

Not feel guilty if I feel like doing nothing
Embrace each day as a gift
Spend more time in my garden and at my lake
Get more exercise

Help my community
Take advantage of all the events during the day on weekdays I couldn’t attend when I was working
Never spend another minute in a meeting or on Zoom
Spend more time with the people I love

Listen to more live music
Spend less time on my phone
Pursue my passion of writing
Not worry about money

Go outside every day
Visit friends who I haven’t seen in awhile and make some new ones
Travel and embark on new adventures near and far
Take better care of my health

This week’s #HappyAct is to make your own pledge, even if retirement is still a distant dream. What would you pledge to yourself?