Posted on in canadiana, community, nature, travel

Tales from the Rock

1965 poster promoting Newfoundland as the Happy Province

While Newfoundland is known for its rugged coastlines, desolate but breathtaking barrens, and magnificent mountains, anyone “from away” who has visited this beautiful land will tell you it’s the warmth and friendliness of the people who make Newfoundland such a special place. In the 1960’s, the provincial government even adopted the tagline, “the Happy Province” for Newfoundland. Every local had a story. Here are some of my favourite tales from the Rock.

****

“Arya here fordasquid?” We had just walked through the front door of Parkers Blue Water Inn in Triton when a friendly bustling woman with a broom in her hand greeted us in a strange tongue.

“Pardon,” I said, thinking she was speaking a foreign language.

“Are ya here for da squid?” she said, pointing to a plastic bag on the floor.

I still didn’t have a clue what she was saying, but luckily she gleaned we weren’t there for the squid, but to stay for the night. She explained her husband was a squid fisherman and there was a lady coming by that morning to pick up an order of squid. We watched some local fishermen fish for squid in the bay as we ate our supper that night. It’s been one of the best squid fishing years in Newfoundland with the lads sometimes hauling in a catch of $5,000 a day. “Are ya here for da squid” became our mantra for the trip.

***

We had stopped to see the exhibit at the Gander airport, once the largest airport in the world. With the 25th anniversary of 911 coming up, the stories and images of the 38 planes and 7,000 passengers stranded in Gander when the US shut down its airspace was especially poignant.

I heard one Come from Away story a few days later as I was standing in the Brigus tunnel. A gentleman told me he was a Search and Rescue pilot based out of Gander when the 38 planes were rerouted and landed in Gander. He was a critical member of the team during those first few chaotic days when they were trying to get people and dogs and monkeys and cargo off the planes.

He and a buddy had been told to help unload one plane from Antwerp which had a bunch of sealed bags in the hold. They didn’t know what to do with the bags, so they carried them to the back of one of the hangars and stored them behind a stairwell. A few days later, the RCMP, special security and Belgian officials started interviewing airport personnel about where the bags had gone. Nobody seemed to know what had happened to the bags.

They finally asked him, and he said, “Right, sure, I know where they are,” and led them to the staircase. They opened the bags to ensure nothing had gone missing. The one RCMP officer said to him, “Did you know what was in the bags?” When he said no, the officer told him there had been $6 billion in bonds and notes.

He later told me, “I know they were looking for Come from Away stories. I probably should have shared that story.”

***

On a rainy afternoon in St. John’s, we took refuge at the Newfoundland Embassy pub. I sat next to Fred who was elegantly sipping a glass of port while listening to traditional Irish session players. Fred looked like Captain Ahab from Moby Dick. He had a long white beard and twinkly eyes and the gift of the gab and was only missing the yellow sailor’s hat. I commented that his drink choice was very sophisticated and he asked the waitress to get the bottle down from the top shelf, then proceeded to tell me the story of Newman’s Port.

In the 1600 and 1700’s, Portuguese port was one of the favourite spirits of the British artistocracy. Bottles of port were shipped to London each year. In 1679, in what can only be considered a serendipitous act of fate, one of the vessels carrying the precious cargo was targeted by privateers and beset by a fierce storm forcing the ship off course and across the ocean to St. John’s where it became stranded over the harsh winter.

When spring arrived, the ship continued on its voyage to England. When it finally landed, they noticed something extraordinary: the port that had spent the freezing winter in Canada tasted significantly smoother and richer. They didn’t know whether it was the humidity or temperature, but the wine aged in Newfoundland was superior. The company started aging all its port in Newfoundland, and if you find an older bottle today, it will say “Matured in Newfoundland” on it.

The practice stopped in 1997 when the Portuguese government decreed that all port must be bottled in Portugal. Fred entertained me with his stories and one liners, like “There are no volcanoes in the Avalon peninsula. Do ye know why?” I took a sip of beer as I shook my head no. “Because there is no lava there.” (Avalon backwards spells ‘no lava’.)

*****

“Come here, it’s hidden, but it’s very interesting,” said Danny O’Brien at the top of Signal Hill in St. John’s. He wanted me to see the remains of the taproom built on the cliff of the battery to keep the soldiers away from civilians on George Street. At one time, the tap room and later barracks were a bustling concern, but the inhospitable weather on the hill drove the soldiers into town and the taproom was left to ruins.

I learned a lot about Danny in the short conversation we had standing on the hill overlooking the city. He spent the early part of his career working long days in construction, then suddenly found himself with time on his hands when he went to work as a facilities manager at Memorial University. He started running and was planning to run a half-marathon in October from Cape Spear to St. John’s. In his spare time, he picked up and drove hikers on the East Coast Trail to the next leg of the trail.

***

Many of the stories we heard in Newfoundland were captured in song. At the Captain’s Pub in Twillingate, Mike Sixonate regaled us with a story for every song. Mike was also the guy who screeched me in. One of my favourite stories was about him saving up enough to buy a sailboat, then sailing it around the lighthouse to find a safe berth before a big storm.

His famous line was “your first trip to Newfoundland is a bit like a spank on the arse. You’re not sure if you like it, but it starts to grow on ya.” Mike’s coming to Ontario at the end of October to play a series of dates with Arthur O’Brien of The Navigators. You can find the list of his Ontario venues and dates here. Here’s Mike singing The Twillingate Tickle.

***

At the Cozy Tea Room in Twillingate, we met Joyce, one of two sisters who ran the shop. Joyce was turning 80 next year and shared the same birthday as me but wasn’t sure how much longer she was going to keep the tea room open. When we expressed our surprise that some of the local restaurants and attractions were already closing down for the season, she said we had to go see the polar bear in the Durrell Museum and told us the story of the bear.

One day back in March 2000, she was having a cup of tea when she looked across the bay and saw a polar bear in her neighbour’s back yard. She called her neighbour on the phone and said, “Edith, you’re not going to believe this, but there’s a polar bear in your backyard!” The bear had made land on an ice flow and was wandering through the village. Due to safety risks, the authorities put the bear down, but the hide was returned to the town for the museum.

Polar bear in the Durrell Museum in Twillingate

***

At Gros Morne National Park, we got to know some of the people who work in the park and call it home. On our first night, we attended an Indigenous sharing circle at the Lobster Cove lighthouse and met Marcella, the park’s Indigenous interpreter. Sitting in a circle with people from around the globe, we learned about the Mi’kmaq peoples, their traditions and way of life. Marcella said we could ask her anything, and the session, which was supposed to be an hour, turned into a two and a half-hour intimate experience where we discussed residential schools, Truth and Reconciliation and the connection to the land we all live on.

Woman demonstrating Newfoundland ugly stick

Gros Morne’s Indigenous interpreter, Marcella, demonstrating the traditional Newfoundland ugly stick

We learned the connection to the park was strong for the people who worked there. Earlier that day, we had chatted with two of the crew members of the boat that took us up the Western Brook Pond fjord. They spent their winters in the park, hunting and snowmobiling and showed us pictures of the park blanketed in snow. Later that evening, we sat around the wood stove at one of the park’s comfort stations with three young guys who were taking their Masters in Physiotherapy at the University of Toronto and Walter, one of the park wardens. What started out as a quick stop to charge our phones quickly turned into an impromptu party, with the guys grabbing their smores and me our bottle of Cabot Maple Cream.

When Walter found out our new friends had forgotten to pack a pot with their gear, he loaned them one of his own he keeps as a stash to help campers in the park. He brought a load of wood and even built a fire for us and told us stories of moose hunting in the park. When hunters shoot a moose there, they have to take it out in chunks on their backs. One time, it took him and his friends eight hours to transport a huge bull they had shot. He had an impressive set of moose antlers he loaded into the truck to show us. What a great guy.

Man holding moose antlers

I’m grateful for all the wonderful people we met during our brief time in Newfoundland. Hopefully some day, I’ll be lucky enough to hear more tales from the Rock.

Posted on in health and wellness, mental health, relationships

Stop rehashing conversations in your head

Illustration of two men, one with angry thoughts in his head and one with happy thoughts in his head

Recently, I had a phone conversation with someone where it got very emotional.

They were voicing their perspective and applying a specific filter to a situation, and I was doing the same from my perspective. No one was right or wrong and it was difficult for the two of us to overcome our emotions and move forward.

I was upset for a few days, constantly rehashing the conversation in my head. That’s the funny thing about emotions. They’re emotional.

I tried all my usual techniques to let it go. Went for a long swim in the lake. Ate a huge bowl of Kawartha Dairy ice cream. Talked to my best friend. Told myself in the greater scheme of things, it was inconsequential. It seemed no matter what I did, I kept rehashing the conversation in my head.

I even looked back at some of my old blog posts like Let it go and Take the high road. Some experts say “distanced self-talk”, actually talking out loud and saying “this is not the end of the world”, the power of touch, and doing something awe-inspiring are all effective strategies for moving forward. My default is to write about it, which is also another proven technique.

I think what helped me the most funnily enough was the process of rehashing. It did help me get to the root of my feelings. After I had peeled back all the layers of my emotional onion, I felt unburdened. I could see things more clearly from both perspectives and was finally able to move on.

Rehashing conversations in my head is one of my worst traits. I’m ashamed to admit there are conversations that literally happened decades ago that I still rehash to this day.

It’s hard to get over hard feelings. I guess that’s why they call them hard. In the end, I just kept replaying Ted Lasso’s words in my head. “I forgive you” and “Be like a goldfish” (have a short memory and move on).

What do you do when you can’t stop rehashing conversations in your head? Leave a comment.

Posted on in arts, entertainment, inspiration, pop culture

What would Ted Lasso say?

We’ve been binge watching the first few seasons of Ted Lasso now that Season 4 is releasing episodes each week on Apple TV. I watched the full first season on the plane to Turkey this March and I became hooked, like a hungry crawfish on a jig line, as Ted might say in his Kansas drawl.

This show is so lovable, not just because of its superb cast, endearing characters and clever writing. No, the reason why you love Ted Lasso so much is because it is so damn refreshing and inspirational. In a streaming world of dark dramas and thrillers, Ted Lasso is like an oxygen mask at 30,000 feet when the cabin on an airplane loses pressure. Here are some quotes and sentiments from the show to inspire us to lead a happier life. 

  • “Just listen to your gut, OK? And on the way down to your gut, check in with your heart. Between those two things, they’ll let you know what’s what.”
  • Be curious, not judgmental
  • “I think that you might be so sure a person is one thing, that sometimes you completely miss who they really are.”
  • “Success is not about the wins and losses. It’s about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves, on and off the field.”
  • Believe in hope. Believe in belief.
  • Be like a goldfish (because goldfish have a short memory).
  • I forgive you.
  • “There is something worse out there than being sad, and that’s being alone and being sad.”
  • “There’s two buttons I never like hittin’, and that’s panic and snooze.”
  • “In the end what’s more important, being right or being kind?”

Y’all have a happy week.

Posted on in arts, community, entertainment, health and wellness, lake living, lifestyle, retirement

The best kind of tired

Two women at an outdoor music festival

It’s been a busy stretch and I’m tired. But I’m very grateful because it’s the best kind of tired. The kind of tired you choose.

The kind where your face still has a warm glow on a cool summer’s evening after spending most of the day in the fresh air and sunshine. The kind where your eyes burn in the back of their sockets from too many late nights catching up with family and friends and listening to music under the stars. The kind where you feel physically tired from leading an active life.

When I was working, I was tired all the time but it was the worst kind of tired.

The kind where your mind was frantic and stressed, thinking of a million things at once. The kind from running non-stop from the moment you woke up until the moment you flopped onto the couch at night in an exhausted heap.

The kind where your back and shoulders ached from sitting in a chair for eight hours a day, five days a week. The kind where you became cross-eyed and glassy-eyed from staring at a screen until your eyes start seeing double from the eye strain. The kind of tired no one chooses.

This week’s #HappyAct is to choose the best kind of tired. Or just screw it, and go for a nap.

Ed. note: the picture above is of me and my friend Cathy Christmas at the Mackinnon Brothers Back to the Farm musical festival. Cathy was at two of the same music events as I was this past week so I’m sure she’s the best kind of tired right now too.

Posted on in arts, canadiana, community, entertainment, pop culture, travel

Forever Hip

New Tragically Hip mural in Kingston

This is a big week in Kingston. It’s the tenth anniversary of The Tragically Hip’s final concert and the limestone city has been buzzing with Forever Hip tributes and events all summer long.

I remember the first time I saw the Hip. It was at Ontario Place in 1991, the days when acts were free with admission to the grounds, and you’d spread out on the grass under the stars. There was an elderly Chinese women in front of us, and as soon as The Hip started playing, she started gyrating and dancing, her arms and legs flailing from her tiny body like she was possessed. That was the power of The Hip.

Fast forward to August 20, 2016. The Hip’s emotional final concert. Armed with will and determination and grace, too, frontman Gord Downie captivated a nation and gave the performance of his cancer-ending life, his poise, strength and spirit emanating from the stage. Courage, my word.

The Hip will forever be our hometown boys. VisitKingston has a list of all the Forever Hip events happening this week. Must sees are Choir, Choir, Choir featuring the songs of the Hip in market square this Thursday at 7 with special guests Miss Emily, The Abrams and Abby Stewart. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the lads shows up to join the singalong. And you won’t want to miss the showing of their final concert on Saturday night. It will be a night to remember and to honour our hometown boys.

If you’re from out of town and planning to come to Kingston this week for Hip celebrations, here are some Hip spots to check out:

  • The Hip sign at Slush Puppy Place
  • The new mural of the band opposite Hotel Dieu hospital on Brock Street
  • Music from miles around, a free exhibit in City Hall sponsored by Empire Life chronicling the musical roots of the limestone city, with Hip artifacts including Gord’s hat from their final performance
  • Gord Edgar Downie pier
  • The commemorative stone in market square with the lyrics, “Everybody was in it for miles around”

Have a hip week.

Posted on in arts, entertainment, health and wellness, mental health

Need a little patience

If patience is a virtue, then we are at risk of transforming into a generation of sinners.

If you live with teenagers or twentysomethings, you’ll know what I mean. Put the lid back on the toothpaste tube? They ain’t got no time for that. Zip up a bag of Pretzel chips? That’s takes a nanosecond too long, time that could be spent watching endless reels or snap chatting their friends. So what if the $8 bag of chips go stale. The bank of Mom and Dad will pay for it.

And don’t get me started on tech. Since I’m pretty good with software every now and then, one of my kids will ask for my help with something on their computer. I take my time working the problem, navigating through menus, and usually figure it out, but after thirty seconds, they complain that I’m taking too long and rip the computer out of my hands. They’ve learned it’s better to leave the room and do something else while I figure it out.

I can’t blame them really. They are the “instant generation”. They’ve grown up being able to download music or movies on demand, order an item and have it show up on their doorstep the next day, and talk to someone 24-7 when they need help.

And as much as I like to blame my kids for everything, I have to admit it’s not just them. Everyone seems less patient these days. On the roads. Waiting in line at fast food outlets. Even in conversations.

This is a problem. When an entire society or culture becomes less patient, it tends to be less kind. Less empathetic. Less caring. In our rush to move on to the next best thing, we forget to see and appreciate what’s in front of us.

Impatience can also lead to errors in judgement. We don’t take the time to get all the facts, understand the implications of decisions and consider alternatives.

This week’s #HappyAct is to take a deep breath, and find a little patience.

And for you Ted Lasso fans out there, here’s Jason Sudeikis playing the water bottle and singing Guns N’ Roses’ Patience at Thundergong 2020. Season 4 of Ted Lasso is now streaming on AppleTV.

Posted on in health and wellness, Historical, inspiration, mental health, science of happiness

How do you define happiness?

Mahatma Gandhi quote, "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony"

It occurred to me the other day that in all the years I’ve been blogging about happiness, I have never once defined what happiness means.

Most definitions of happiness focus on two aspects: feeling joy or elation in the “now”, often referred to as hedonic happiness, or experiencing positive feelings and deeper meaning or wellbeing with life, often referred to as eudaimonic happiness. 

Here are a few to consider:

“The state of pleasurable contentment of mind; deep pleasure in or contentment with one’s circumstances.”
Oxford Dictionary

“Having both positive emotions and meaning in your life.”
Psychology Today

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”     
Mahatma Gandhi

Happiness is a complex and multifaceted mental state that encompasses a range of positive feelings, from contentment to intense joy. It is often associated with positive life experiences, such as achieving goals, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in enjoyable activities. However, happiness can also arise spontaneously, without any apparent external cause.
Wikipedia

“The experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”
Sonja Lyubormirsky, The How of Happiness, 2007

And finally, my simpler definition of happiness:

“Feeling joy, contentment or fulfillment in any given moment or about life in general.”

Shared experiences, upbringing, and culture can influence how we define happiness. Some studies have found that people from cultures that embrace collectivist ideals define happiness more in terms of harmony and contentment, while cultures that focus on individual achievements and values connect it to feelings of exuberance and joy. 

For example, someone who experienced homelessness in their youth may say happiness is having a home while someone who grew up in a region in conflict may say happiness is being able to live in peace.

Of course, the only definition that really matters is yours.

So, how do you define happiness?

Posted on in health and wellness, inspiration, lake living, mental health, science of happiness

Strike a power pose

Girl striking a power pose on a paddleboard

The other day I was swimming in our lake visiting with my neighbours at their dock. Ashlyn, who just celebrated her tenth birthday struck this kick-ass power pose on her paddleboard, one arm bent confidently on her waist, her other arm holding the paddle firmly. She had a huge grin on her face and I told her she looked fearless, like she could take on the world. Her Mom snapped a quick picture (with me photobombing in the background).

For a ten-year old, striking a power pose may be a fun, spur of the moment natural thing to do. But studies show that striking a power pose can be a powerful technique for gaining confidence, facing difficult situations, and reducing anxiety.

Social psychologist, Harvard lecturer and TedTalk alum Amy Cuddy says striking a power pose, or adopting an “expansive posture” by standing tall and taking up space, can increase self-esteem, a positive outlook, and feelings of power.  

Cuddy says, “Bodies and minds are so closely connected…when you feel powerless, expanding your body can begin to reverse that. That’s not a trick. That’s physiology.”

Think of every Marvel or Avengers hero. They all have their own unique power poses. Superman with both hands on his waist or one arm extended in flight. Wonder Woman with her hands fixed firmly on her hips. Spiderman, crouched on his knees, his one arm bent by his side and his other hand planted on the ground.

You don’t need to be a comic book hero to strike a pose. And if you don’t care about the benefits of adopting an expansive posture, do it anyways. It’s just plain fun.

What’s your power pose?

Posted on in canadiana, charitable, entertainment, Historical, travel

RCMP Musical Ride

RCMP Musical Ride

If a nation is shaped by its history, its symbols and traditions reflect its current values and beliefs.

Last Thursday, we witnessed one of the most iconic of Canadian symbols, the RCMP Musical Ride in Napanee. It was a wonderful performance that made me proud to be Canadian.

It was a glorious summer night. The smoke from wildfires raging in the far north had miraculously cleared earlier in the day, giving full view to the warm sun setting gently to the west.

We secured our seats in the packed grandstands, then I wandered over to watch the performers warm up in a grassy open area behind the horse barns. The 16 riders, dressed in blue t-shirts and pants practiced their drills riding in formation in circle eights, transitioning from a walk, to a canter to a gallop.

You could tell the crowd who had gathered behind the barns to watch were in awe of the horses. They are magnificent black Hanoverian horses bred specifically for their dark colour, calm temperament and athletic ability from a special breeding farm in Pakenham, Ontario.

The troop entered the fairgrounds in a formation of 16 carrying lances and wearing the red full dress uniform complete with the famous Mountie hat. All of the riders are police officers with the RCMP and I was surprised to learn that many had never ridden a horse before joining the Musical Ride team.

The performance was about 45-minutes long and we watched in awe as the riders made the horses go through their paces, performing intricate drills and manoeuvres to music. As the 16 riders and horses circled the ring, clouds of dust filled the air, creating a beautiful effect and making for great photos, as if they were emerging from fog or mist. (One of the officers later told me this was the dustiest performance they ever had!)

Several times, some of the horses reared. The announcer explained that half of the horses were new to the ride, making the performance more “spicy”.

There is always a meet and greet after the ride where the officers approach the fences so members of the audience can pet the horses and talk to the riders. I learned the horses undergo three years of training before they even make it to the Ride and then perform with the troop for about ten years.

I met Gendarme (pictured below), a handsome, 17-year old veteran of the Ride with sweet eyes and the softest fur who will retire in a few years. He’ll become a “schoolmaster”, helping train future riders and performing ceremonial duties. I asked the officer riding him who was more tired after the performance, and he said definitely Gendarme.

RCMP officer on horse Gendarme

Steel was equally handsome, but had some knee pads around his forehocks for protection. I asked the officer if the horses knew their name, and he said yes, the horses will often respond when the riders speak to them by name.

The RCMP Musical Ride is a Canadian tradition that raises thousands of dollars for local charities. The history of the ride dates back to 1873, when the RCMP was founded and the force relied on skilled riders on horses to police the vast territory of the Prairies. To break the monotony of endless riding drills, members of the Force commonly competed amongst themselves and performed tricks on horseback. In 1886, the RCMP established a riding school in Regina and the following year, the first public performances were held.

This year, the Ride is touring in the provinces of Ontario and British Columbia—it goes to different provinces every year so every Canadian gets a chance to experience its tradition. You can see their full 2026 tour schedule here.

This week’s #HappyAct is to take in a Canadian tradition and catch a performance of the RCMP Musical Ride in a community near you.

Did you know? The RCMP hosts an annual “name the foal” contest in the spring when a new horse is born into the musical ride family? Children under the age of 14 and school classes are invited to submit names for new foals born.

RCMP Musical Ride
Horses in ring during RCMP Musical Ride
Horses and riders performing in RCMP Musical Ride
Petting a horse after the RCMP musical ride
Posted on in arts, entertainment, humour, lake living, work

Whistle a tune

Some days I feel like Snow White, sweeping and swirling the dust and dander away in my tiny rustic cottage tucked in the woods as the chipmunks, squirrels and birds flit and fly around me, waiting for my three dwarves, Dopey, Grumpy, and Sleepy to come home (guess who is which).

I usually listen to music when I clean the house–Great Big Sea is my go-to playlist, but the other day my sleeping beauty Grace was still asleep, so I had to work quietly.

I found myself whistling while I worked.

It’s almost impossible to feel sad when you whistle. As the song Whistle While You Work from Snow White goes, “When hearts are high, the time will fly, so whistle while you work”.

Grumpy Dave is a master whistler. He could whistle The Flight of the Bumblebee or Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony while drinking water and dancing a jig.

I, on the other hand, am a terrible whistler. I can never decide whether I should suck or blow (tsk, tsk, people, keep it clean) and when sound does manage to escape my mouth, it is breathy, pitchy and comes in spurts like water spewing from a fountain.

Whistling is a great way to pass the time, especially when you’re working. Of course, if you work in an open office environment, you may want to refrain and save your rhapsodic warbling for home, unless you want to invite heavy office supplies being hurled at you.

This week’s #HappyAct is to whistle while you work, or whistle any old tune.

Editor’s note: The song “Whistle While You Work” was written by Frank Churchill and Larry Morey for the 1937 Disney animated film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It became emblematic as a song of hope for people during the Great Depression. Watch the full clip above to experience the Disney magic and bring a smile to your face. And if you were keeping track, Grace is Sleepy, Dave is Grumpy, which by the process of elimination makes Clare Dopey.