Posted on in Historical, relationships, work

If walls could talk

Empire Life Head Office complex in Kingston Ontario

Last week, Empire Life invited its retirees to pay our respects and say farewell to our former Head Office complex on King Street in downtown Kingston. Later this year, the company will begin a new chapter in its 100+ year history when it moves to new office space on Hyperion Court.

For almost three decades, I called these buildings home. By my count, I spent more than 50,000 hours there. I wasn’t going to miss my chance to say goodbye.

As we went on a guided tour of the buildings, memories flooded back of potlucks and bake sales, Christmas parties and team celebrations, friendships forged and the work that was our daily grind.

I looked around the room at the faces of the people who had been so much a part of my life during that time. You develop a closeness, a banter when you work with people you see and like every day.

There was John, the manager of our mailroom who whenever you asked him how he was doing would give you the same answer, “Great” with a look that resembled something between a grin, a groan and a grimace on his face.

There was Ann, our one and only web administrator for many years (now an entire department), who always had a fix for whatever mistake you made.

There was my friend Randy, who started out on our IT Help Desk and was the first person I met at Empire. He became a programmer thanks to the company’s commitment to helping people develop and grow. He’s now taken on a brand new role as Grandpa.

There were Mark and Tim, the cool musicians in the Empire House Band who played rockin’ tunes at our annual summer celebration party in the back parking lot (you can still find them playing in local bands Three’s Company and The Retro Kings).

There was Carol and Roxann, two of the hardest workers you would ever meet, the backbone of the company who always flew under the radar but who were dedicated beyond belief.

As we toured the deserted executive area, we saw our President Mark Syvlia quietly working away at his desk. My friend Sylvia and I popped our heads in his office and teased him, saying he should sell the building since it was so empty and asked if he had been playing any euchre lately (Mark always played in our employee euchre tournaments).

After the formal remarks, we looked at pictures of the buildings over the years, past celebrations and events. My favourite events were the senior management challenges where we made our senior leaders do crazy things for charity like ride tricycles, get soaked in dunk tanks, and even dress in drag.

I moved desks at least thirteen times within those walls as my job changed and as the company grew. My last two years I worked from home.

If those walls could talk, I know what they would say. “It’s been a slice. Thanks for the memories.”

Girls dressed up as cowgirls

One of my favourite memories was our summer celebrations, an annual barbecue with live music and games in the back parking lot. Here, Caroline Keyes, Trish MacInnis, me and Heather Priestley, dress up as cowgirls for the western-themed celebration.

Posted on in Historical, travel

Today’s travel hack: catch a ferry

Ferry approaching the beach at Deer Island NB

Whenever I travel, I like to take a ferry. Ferries are a great way to see a city or area from the water. They can break up a long drive, or give you some downtime after a long day on foot. Best of all they are usually very cheap or even free and you often meet some interesting people on board.

Last week, when I was in Halifax, I took the ferry from Halifax to Dartmouth for $3. It was interesting to see the preparations for Sail GP, one of the largest sailing events in the world and all the naval ships in the harbour. My friends who live there were telling me they’ve seen increased activity since Canada has committed to spending more on our national defence.

On the ferry ride home, I met two of the crew members from the British crew competing in Sail GP. Their home base was on the Dartmouth side, but they were staying in Halifax. They are currently in second place in the circuit, hoping to bump the Aussies out of first place. I asked them what their life was like. The racing season starts in January and goes until November. They travel to 13 different countries, staying a little over two weeks in each spot, all expenses paid. Their favourite courses to race are Sydney, Australia, New York and Halifax and their least favourite was Dubai. What a life!  

In February, Dave and I took the ferry from the one side of the Bosphorous in Istanbul to our home base in Taksim for about $2.50 each. The ferry system in Istanbul is extensive and we had great views of the Maiden’s Tower, an ancient watchtower and all the boat traffic from fishing boats to tour boats, high end power boats and commercial vessels in the busy harbour.

Here are some of my favourite ferries I’ve taken in the past few years on my travels:

  • The ferry from Armadale to Mallaig in the Isle of Skye in the highlands in Scotland. Last summer, my best friend Leslie and I saw dolphins right off the boat.
  • The cable ferries in Cape Breton in Englishtown and Little Narrows. Cable ferries are a throwback to earlier days when ferries were manually propelled with a crank or by pulling on a cable. There are about 65 still operating in Canada.
  • If you’re visiting Kingston this summer, be sure to hop on the free Wolfe Islander to see Kingston by the water. Stop at Spicer’s Dockside Grill or the Hotel Wolfe Island for a drink or something to eat on their waterfront patios.
  • The two ferry trip from L’etete, New Brunswick (between Saint John and St. Andrews by the Sea) to Deer Island and Campobello Island. The second ferry is privately owned and is a riot because you literally drive onto a beach to get onto the ferry.

More travel hacks and tips:

  • The Canadian government has dropped the fares by half for ferries to Newfoundland this summer.
  • If you’re travelling down east and need a break from all the driving, take the ferry from Digby, NS to Saint John, NB.
  • Longer distance ferries book up fast so book well in advance and pay attention to the time you need to be there (most are 1 hour in advance, the Newfoundland ferries are 2 hours). If you arrive late, you may miss your spot. This happened to us a few years ago catching the ferry from Vancouver to the Sunshine Coast in BC.
  • Today is the last day for Sail GP in Halifax. You can catch all the action on the Sail GP YouTube channel.

Happy sailing!

Photos: Above: ferry landing on the beach on Deer Island, NB. Below: Ferry traffic on the Bosphorous in Istanbul and view of Galata Tower in Taksim district. Navy ship in Halifax harbour.

Ferries in Istanbul harbour
View of Galata Tower in Taksim district from the Bosphorous
Navy ship and a barge in Halifax harbour
Posted on in ageing, family, relationships

How do you want to be remembered?

Toronto Sun newspaper article from 1984 on the life of Fran Gillies by Claire Hoy

I saw an ad the other day that asked the question, how do you want to be remembered? (It was for a funeral planning service).

It made me stop for a moment and think. My answer may surprise you, but I don’t want to be remembered for anything.

When my mother passed away in 1984, one of my Dad’s journalist colleagues at The Toronto Sun, Claire Hoy wrote a column about her and her battle with cancer. Claire wrote of my parents, “They had a dog and lived on a quiet, suburban street, enjoying a quiet, peaceful ordinary life. They’re not people who ever made the newspapers. You wouldn’t see their names in the social columns. They won’t be in Who’s Who. No, John and Fran were just, well, common folks…But I’ve never seen a headliner with more guts than Fran Gillies. I’ve never seen a public star with more desire to be a good mother, a good wife, a good person.”

When my Dad died, The Globe and Mail published an article about him as part of their obit series on notable Torontonians who have passed away. My Dad would have laughed at being called notable, but since he worked as a photographer for The Globe and Mail and helped organize the royal tours when the British royal family came to Canada in the 1970s, I guess they thought his passing was worthy of notice.

I’m pretty sure when my toes turn facing up, there won’t be any newspaper article about me. Probably by the time it happens, there won’t be any newspapers left for that matter. I’m perfectly fine with that.

I’ve never felt an urgent need or compulsion to leave a legacy on this planet. If a few dogs remember me, that would make me happy. Hopefully my kids.

I’ve come to terms with the fact I was destined to live a small life. I like my small life. I love my small group of friends and my family, although sadly my family is dwindling each year, unless my daughters decide to have kids one day.

I like my small daily rituals and activities. Morning coffees. Afternoon swims. Playing badminton on Monday mornings. Walks with Bentley.

Atlantic magazine recently published an article called, “To Get Happier, Make Yourself Smaller”. Author and researcher Arthur Brooks said the path to enlightment is through contemplating one’s insignificance. People tend to believe they need to become bigger to be happy, but when we become smaller we achieve peace and perspective.

I was reminded of this a few months ago when I attended the Celebration of Life for our dear friend Bruno Albano. There were no newspaper articles, medals or accolades, just an outpouring of love in the room for an incredible human being.

I asked my 92-year old friend Pamela who I drive to writing class each week how she wanted to be remembered. She said, “As a pain in the ass and for all the crazy things I’ve done over the years.” I thought it was the perfect answer.

How do you want to be remembered? Share your answer in the comments. And if you are like me, and your answer is you don’t, know that there is peace, happiness and meaning in leading a small life.

Globe and Mail article on the life of John Gillies with a picture of him meeting the Queen of England
Posted on in environment, family, inspiration, parenting, poetry, Technology and social media

If I were Oprah Winfrey–my speech to the graduating class of 2026

Trent University Environmental Sciences graduates with their professor

Friday was a special day. I attended the convocation ceremony at Trent University in Peterborough for my daughter Grace who graduated with a BHSC in Environmental Resource Science.

It was a lovely ceremony and like every parent who sat in that gymnasium, we were so very, very proud of our daughter.

It made me think of a blog post I wrote five years ago when both my girls were graduating (elementary school and high school) during the height of COVID.

So much has changed in the past five years. The world is a scarier place. And in some ways, our children seem less equipped to solve its problems.

It made me wonder, what would be my message to this year’s graduating class if I was a big celebrity like Oprah Winfrey? I think my speech would go something like this.

Don’t be afraid
of who you are and who you aren’t
or not knowing who you will become
nobody has it figured out
even the people who look like they have it all figured out
(especially the people who look like they have it all figured out)
be happy with who you are today

Don’t be afraid
to laugh or cry
protest or mourn
to shout wantonly from the rooftops
or dance wildly in the streets
never stand idly on the sidelines
when you can be exulting in the moment

Don’t be afraid
to put away your phone
and look directly in someone’s eyes
to connect on a deeper level
and seek love, trust, compassion
it is, after all, the essence of being human
and the future of humanity

Don’t be afraid
to take chances and risks
to accept or ignore people’s advice
only you know what’s best for you
everyone else is just a spectator in your life
cheering you on from the stands
forge your own path in life

Don’t be afraid
of that niggling voice in your head
planting seeds of doubt
convince that voice
you are capable, prepared
and even if you fail, you will be okay
climb that peak

Don’t be afraid
to talk to your parents from time to time
we’ve watched you grow and falter
succeed and stumble
and reach heights we never imagined
you may not need us any more
but we need you

Don’t be afraid
of the world and its problems
in all its vastness and complexity
love and hatred
beauty and darkness
there is still good in this world
you may just need to work a little harder to find it

Don’t be afraid.

Read more

If I were Oprah Winfrey: my commencement speech to the graduating class of 2020—The Next Act

Two new Trent grads standing in front of an alumni sign in their gowns
Posted on in community, entertainment, sports, travel

Rodeo kings

It was my first rodeo, and it was a buckin’ good time.

On Saturday night, we went to the Lansdowne Rodeo. I’ve never been to a rodeo and I thought it might be a shticky, gimmicky event like WWE wrestling, but I was wrong. It was a ropin, stompin, buckin’ hell of a ride and good time right out of the gate.

We arrived at the Lansdowne Agricultural grounds and parked in a big field. Spectators were already tailgating as the moon and stars started to rise in the sky above the water tower. We staked out our seats in the grandstand, then checked out the food trucks, and vendors while sipping on ice cold beers. I liked being able to pet the heifers and the sheep in the pens.

At 7 pm sharp, the action started with the bull riders. These were no tame bulls. These were massive 1,800 pound bulls who kicked their hind legs, flailing and thrashing the minute they left the pen. They can actually leap up to four feet in the air and have been known to vault over a fence. A few of the competitors were able to stay on past 8 seconds for the highest scores. One guy got hurt when the bull stepped on his leg.

One thing I’ve learned: bull riding is the craziest, most dangerous sport I’ve ever witnessed. Why anyone on God’s earth would willingly get up on a buckin’ bull is beyond me, but man, it was exciting.

Next was steer wrestling where riders wrestle a calf to the ground and breakaway roping where female riders rope a calf. It was incredible to see the athleticism of the competitors riding at breakneck speed while whirling the rope around their head, waiting for the perfect moment to lasso the cow. A third event, tie-down roping involves the rider roping the calf, then dismounting and tying three of its legs together as quickly as possible.

If you really want to appreciate the speed and skill of the riders, then barrel racing is your event. A rider on a horse bursts out of the pen and rides hellbent around three barrels strategically placed in the ring. The speed of the riders as they streaked across the ring was incredible.

They even had an event for kids six and under, mutton busting. Picture a five-year old wearing a helmet clinging onto the back of a sheep for dear life. I muttered under my breath, what parent would allow their child to try to do this, then laughed when the little boy two seats down from us took top prize for staying on the longest.

Between events, the music was pumping and Gildo the rodeo clown entertained the crowd.

At the end of the night, we hit the after party and danced to our favourite country songs in the big historic barn.

The Black Creek Rodeo Company is a family run business based in Edwards Ontario. You can find a list of their upcoming rodeos in Ontario on their website, including a special Broncs and Tonks Rodeo and Concert in Ottawa at the end of August featuring Dean Brody and the Reklaws. Or you can listen to their La Grange Rodeomax podcast to hear the history of rodeo in Ontario, their bucking bull breeding program and the skinny on all the events.

This week’s #HappyAct is to break out your chaps and cowboy hats and get yourself to a rodeo this summer.

Lansdowne Fairgrounds
Cowboy hats
Sheep in a pen
Cattle in a pen
Cowboys at the Lansdowne Fair
Posted on in inspiration, writing, Historical, mental health, health and wellness, arts

Live in the imaginary world

Poster that says, "Reality is overrated"

At my last writer’s class, my friend Dallis shared a wonderful story recalling the imaginary worlds she lived in as a child.

She wrote, “With my thoughts and dreams alone, I can obtain anything I want.” The final line in the piece she shared as she looked back on her childhood years was, “My internal flight to freedom continues to enrich my life and within its comforting landscape, the child I was lives on.”

Her piece engendered a very interesting discussion about the imaginary worlds we create and live in as children and adults.

Some of the greatest thinkers, inventors and artists in the history of time lived in imaginary worlds.

Picasso said, “Everything you can imagine is real”. Albert Einstein believed, “Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere.”

Any fiction writer will tell you their brains spend a good chunk of their waking and yes, sometimes even sleeping existence, living in an imaginary world.

Imagination is an important tool for adults. It can help you come up with creative ideas and solutions to problems, see things in a new perspective, motivate you and it keeps life interesting. It can also build resilience and help you be happy.

And yet, we are taught to suppress our imaginary worlds as we age. As my friend Mo said in the discussion afterwards, living a life in reality is super imposed on us. We all have an inner life and these imaginary worlds enrich our lives.

Someone said they read somewhere that if you imagine yourself lying on a beach, it is just as good as lying on a beach.

I’m not 100% sold on this theory. It’s nice to picture yourself lying on a beach, but it will never replace the feeling of the warm sun on your body, the sound of the crashing waves and the sights of dolphins breaching the water in the distance. Still, it is a welcome escape from reality.

Reality is highly overrated. This week’s #HappyAct is to embrace your inner world and let your imagination roam free.

Read more: Have an active fantasy life

Posted on in Hobbies, humour, lifestyle, work

Make a to do list and not to do list

Funny to do list

Who doesn’t love a to do list?

The chance to madly scribble every pernickety thought and reminder crowding your addled mind onto a postcard-sized slip of paper or sticky note, freeing you from the cursed feeling you’ve forgotten something or need to write something down before you forget it.

Here are some of the reasons why the modest to do list may just be your best friend.

They’re portable. You can put them on the fridge, tuck them into your pocket or purse, post them in your daytimer or on your desk.

They work for everything. Work tasks. Groceries. Chores. Gifts. Series you want to watch. You can create a list for just about anything. I know someone who has created a list of every book they have ever read so they know not to buy a book from their same favourite author twice.

They give you a sense of purpose. Those black and white scribbles aren’t just a list. They’re a purpose, a guide, a beacon and a goal.

You get an immediate and immense sense of satisfaction when you cross an item off the list.

They help keep you sane. A list helps you remember the small stuff, which are often the most important things in life.

To do lists are for everyone. I’ve known co-workers whose entire cubicles were filled with sticky notes. My Dad used to keep track of all his bill payments with lists and notes pasted onto his bedroom mirror. Even my kids who are now in their 20s are diehard to do listers, making lists each day of what they want or need to accomplish that day.

I’m particularly fond of the proverbial honey do list. My honey is so sweet he doesn’t need a list, but if I do leave a list of things for him to do when I’m away, he always gets them done.

Sure, you can use your phone or some fancy work program to create your to do list. But you don’t get the same feeling of sweet satisfaction when you cross items off your list.

This week’s #HappyAct is to make a to do list. When you’re done, do one better and make a “not to do” list. Things you promise yourself you won’t do this week. Here’s a few on mine: waste time on my phone, spend time indoors when the weather is beautiful, procrastinate on my writing tasks. Signing off now, the morning fog is burning off and the sun is starting to shine. One item crossed off my not to do list at least.

Posted on in charitable, environment, lake living, nature

Why did the turtle cross the road

Girl holding a snapping turtle

I rescued five garter snakes last week trying to cross the road. It was one of the first warm days, and they must have just come out of hibernation. They were all small and slender and very cute.

On the same walk, I saw a tiny dead turtle overturned with a beautiful orange pattern on his belly. A painted turtle hatchling. He was so little, he didn’t stand a chance against the car who hit him.

Snakes and turtles are on the move. Living on a lake and beside a culvert where turtles nest and hatch, we watch for them carefully and do what we can to keep our turtle population happy.

Last year, one heartbreaking morning, we witnessed the decimation of three large snapping turtles at our culvert. It was so disturbing, the girls were almost in tears.

We have an especial fondness for turtles in our house since Grace spent a semester interning at the Ontario Turtle Conservation Centre in Peterborough (follow them on Facebook here). The centre recently completed a new 10,000 foot facility that will be open to the public this summer.

On any given day, the centre can house up to 2,000 turtles, including hundreds of hatchlings orphaned when their parents were killed by cars and dozens of injured turtles being treated in their hospital.

We were fortunate to be given a private tour of the centre last spring by Grace. It’s an amazing facility. In addition to being a full turtle veterinary hospital, it is a conservation and educational facility, educating the public about the importance of turtles in our ecosystem and the risks to the population.

All eight of Ontario’s turtle species are at risk. Less than 1% of turtle hatchlings will survive to adulthood. That means every turtle saved counts.

How you can help keep our turtle population happy

  1. If you see a turtle in the middle of a road at risk of being hit, help it across the road (if it’s a snapper, they have tips for handling snappers on their website—I get Grace to do it!)
  2. Put up signs on your property if you are in an area where turtles hatch and are on the move—you can get them at their online store
  3. Slow down and brake if you see a turtle

What to do if you come across an injured turtle

Call the centre at 705-741-5000, x9. Note the location (road, intersection, closest municipal number) where the turtle was found so it can be released in the same place. Even dead turtles may contain eggs and be valuable.

Pictured above: Grace with “Mr D”, one of the permanent educational snapping turtles at the centre (due to his injury, Mr. D can never be released in the wild so he gets to meet school groups and seniors). Below: a blandings turtle, one of the more than 2,000 turtles treated at the Ontario Turtle Conservation Centre in Peterborough. Dave and Grace in front of the Centre’s new state-of-the-art facility.

Man and girl in front of the Ontario Turtle Conservation Centre in Peterborough, Ontario
Blandings turtle
Posted on in Historical, mental health

Live in perfect harmony

Mahatma Gandhi

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

Ghandi was a lawyer, pacifist and religious leader who became a symbol of Indian nationalism in the 1920’s and years leading up to the second world war.

There is much truth to this statement but it is easier said than done and fraught with frailty.

In theory, if you act in accordance to your thoughts and speak your truth, you will never feel conflicted and be content.

The reality is, we often don’t espouse or act in line with our beliefs due to fear of ostracism, reprisal or simply because it’s easier to remain silent.

For some, the issue is not alignment. It is simple they don’t know what to believe in anymore.

And for others still, there is a more dangerous scenario. Their beliefs, words and actions are aligned, but they are rooted in a negative or destructive mindset.

Gandhi believed in “satyagraha”, the social doctrine of nonviolence which advocates for the complete renunciation of war and violence as means of achieving goals. The doctrine applies to both nation states and individuals and stems from the ethical conviction that participating in any act of violence is morally wrong. Its literal translation is “holding onto truth”.

His entire life, Ghandi stood up against colonialism, racism, discrimination and violence. He inspired millions with his beliefs, his words and his actions.

Maybe it’s time we all Gandhi’d up. For the sake of our own personal happiness and for the sake of happiness in the world.

Posted on in arts, community, entertainment, Historical, travel

Make Kingston your happy place this summer

I have now lived more than half of my life in this beautiful corner of eastern Ontario, calling the area north of Kingston home. Dave and I often say it was the smartest decision we ever made (including having kids!)

And yet, I’m often astonished how many people I meet from southern Ontario or Quebec who have never been to downtown Kingston. They’ve stopped here travelling between Toronto and Montreal. But their only impression of our fair city is a plethora of gas stations and fast food restaurants off the 401.

Kingston is, in a word, simply…wonderful. From its vibrant patios and waterfront, to its historic buildings and world-class tourist attractions, thriving arts and music scene, and festivals all summer long, it delights all ages. So in the spirit of Destination Canada and travelling local this year*, I invite you to explore Kingston this summer. Here is my top ten list for things to do in the limestone city.

  1. Watch the Queen’s Golden Gaels football team, hot off their amazing 2025 season take on their rivals at Richardson Stadium in August or September. Our newly rebuilt stadium (in 2016) is a true gem. Catch some rays, have a beer and cheer on the Gaels to victory.
  2. Do a haunted walk. Kingston has many haunted buildings (I worked in one—the Empire Life historic building). Hear the grisly and ghostly tales and admire the architecture as you ramble through some of our wonderful old neighbourhoods.
  3. Kingston Penitentiary Tour. I’ve done this tour three times and it never disappoints. Tour the grounds and the cellblocks of Canada’s most notorious prison. After, spend an hour at the Kingston Penitentiary Museum, one of my favourite little museums in Canada.
  4. Tour the SS Kewatin, the beautiful steam passenger vessel older than the titanic at the Great Lakes Museum. Kingston was lucky enough to secure this grand old dame in 2023. I haven’t toured her yet—it’s on my list for this summer.
  5. Movies in the Square: Still one of my favourite things to do on a Thursday night in the summer. Downtown Kingston will be announcing their line-up soon.
  6. Stroll or bike along the waterfront. Most people stick to Confederation Basin near city hall. Venture further west to Battery Park, City Park, the walkways behind the Tett Centre (stop at the Juniper Café for a coffee or cold beer) towards Lake Ontario Park.
  7. The downtown is a hub of free music, festivals and events in the summer months. My recommendations: HomeGrown Live featuring all local performers this Saturday, May 2 (get there early—all the venues get packed as the day goes on!), Art after Dark later this month and Buskers Rendezvous in July. Hot off the presses: Kingston has replaced its popular BluesFest with a new festival called The RoadTrip Music Festival on September 12, 2026.
  8. Take the free ferry from Kingston to Wolfe Island and listen to some live music and have a drink at the Wolfe Island Hotel or spend the day at Big Sandy Bay Beach ($20 per person and a kilometre hike in)
  9. Fort Henry is always fun to visit, but elevate your experience by taking in one of their special events or sunset ceremonies. Plan to have a beer at the battery bar overlooking Lake Ontario and Kingston—one of the best views around. Admission to the fort is free for kids 17 and under with the Canada Strong Pass.
  10. Number ten is a toss up between hiking at Lemoine’s Point, and exploring the streets of Barriefield, a heritage village. If you choose Barriefield, be sure to stop into the Frontenac County Schools Museum, a quaint one-room school house.
  11. BONUS Number eleven! Admission is free to Bellevue House, the home of Sir John A. Macdonald from June 19 to September 7 as part of the Canada Strong pass again this year.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t urge you to spend at least one day hiking, fishing, or biking on one of our beautiful trails or lakes in South Frontenac where I live.

This week’s #HappyAct is to come to Kingston and spend a few days this summer. For all my friends from out of town, consider this your invite to come visit us. I’d be happy to play tour guide for you!

Queen's Gaels playing at Richardson Stadium

Queen’s Golden Gaels playing at Richardson Stadium

Movies in the Square in Kingston

Watching Wicked last summer in Market Square

Kingston sign

When Dave’s cousins Alison and David visited last summer from BC, we had to take their picture in the Kingston sign!