Posted on in arts, canadiana, community, entertainment, pop culture, travel

Forever Hip

New Tragically Hip mural in Kingston

This is a big week in Kingston. It’s the tenth anniversary of The Tragically Hip’s final concert and the limestone city has been buzzing with Forever Hip tributes and events all summer long.

I remember the first time I saw the Hip. It was at Ontario Place in 1991, the days when acts were free with admission to the grounds, and you’d spread out on the grass under the stars. There was an elderly Chinese women in front of us, and as soon as The Hip started playing, she started gyrating and dancing, her arms and legs flailing from her tiny body like she was possessed. That was the power of The Hip.

Fast forward to August 20, 2016. The Hip’s emotional final concert. Armed with will and determination and grace, too, frontman Gord Downie captivated a nation and gave the performance of his cancer-ending life, his poise, strength and spirit emanating from the stage. Courage, my word.

The Hip will forever be our hometown boys. VisitKingston has a list of all the Forever Hip events happening this week. Must sees are Choir, Choir, Choir featuring the songs of the Hip in market square this Thursday at 7 with special guests Miss Emily, The Abrams and Abby Stewart. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the lads shows up to join the singalong. And you won’t want to miss the showing of their final concert on Saturday night. It will be a night to remember and to honour our hometown boys.

If you’re from out of town and planning to come to Kingston this week for Hip celebrations, here are some Hip spots to check out:

  • The Hip sign at Slush Puppy Place
  • The new mural of the band opposite Hotel Dieu hospital on Brock Street
  • Music from miles around, a free exhibit in City Hall sponsored by Empire Life chronicling the musical roots of the limestone city, with Hip artifacts including Gord’s hat from their final performance
  • Gord Edgar Downie pier
  • The commemorative stone in market square with the lyrics, “Everybody was in it for miles around”

Have a hip week.

Posted on in arts, entertainment, health and wellness, mental health

Need a little patience

If patience is a virtue, then we are at risk of transforming into a generation of sinners.

If you live with teenagers or twentysomethings, you’ll know what I mean. Put the lid back on the toothpaste tube? They ain’t got no time for that. Zip up a bag of Pretzel chips? That’s takes a nanosecond too long, time that could be spent watching endless reels or snap chatting their friends. So what if the $8 bag of chips go stale. The bank of Mom and Dad will pay for it.

And don’t get me started on tech. Since I’m pretty good with software every now and then, one of my kids will ask for my help with something on their computer. I take my time working the problem, navigating through menus, and usually figure it out, but after thirty seconds, they complain that I’m taking too long and rip the computer out of my hands. They’ve learned it’s better to leave the room and do something else while I figure it out.

I can’t blame them really. They are the “instant generation”. They’ve grown up being able to download music or movies on demand, order an item and have it show up on their doorstep the next day, and talk to someone 24-7 when they need help.

And as much as I like to blame my kids for everything, I have to admit it’s not just them. Everyone seems less patient these days. On the roads. Waiting in line at fast food outlets. Even in conversations.

This is a problem. When an entire society or culture becomes less patient, it tends to be less kind. Less empathetic. Less caring. In our rush to move on to the next best thing, we forget to see and appreciate what’s in front of us.

Impatience can also lead to errors in judgement. We don’t take the time to get all the facts, understand the implications of decisions and consider alternatives.

This week’s #HappyAct is to take a deep breath, and find a little patience.

And for you Ted Lasso fans out there, here’s Jason Sudeikis playing the water bottle and singing Guns N’ Roses’ Patience at Thundergong 2020. Season 4 of Ted Lasso is now streaming on AppleTV.

Posted on in health and wellness, Historical, inspiration, mental health, science of happiness

How do you define happiness?

Mahatma Gandhi quote, "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony"

It occurred to me the other day that in all the years I’ve been blogging about happiness, I have never once defined what happiness means.

Most definitions of happiness focus on two aspects: feeling joy or elation in the “now”, often referred to as hedonic happiness, or experiencing positive feelings and deeper meaning or wellbeing with life, often referred to as eudaimonic happiness. 

Here are a few to consider:

“The state of pleasurable contentment of mind; deep pleasure in or contentment with one’s circumstances.”
Oxford Dictionary

“Having both positive emotions and meaning in your life.”
Psychology Today

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”     
Mahatma Gandhi

Happiness is a complex and multifaceted mental state that encompasses a range of positive feelings, from contentment to intense joy. It is often associated with positive life experiences, such as achieving goals, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in enjoyable activities. However, happiness can also arise spontaneously, without any apparent external cause.
Wikipedia

“The experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”
Sonja Lyubormirsky, The How of Happiness, 2007

And finally, my simpler definition of happiness:

“Feeling joy, contentment or fulfillment in any given moment or about life in general.”

Shared experiences, upbringing, and culture can influence how we define happiness. Some studies have found that people from cultures that embrace collectivist ideals define happiness more in terms of harmony and contentment, while cultures that focus on individual achievements and values connect it to feelings of exuberance and joy. 

For example, someone who experienced homelessness in their youth may say happiness is having a home while someone who grew up in a region in conflict may say happiness is being able to live in peace.

Of course, the only definition that really matters is yours.

So, how do you define happiness?

Posted on in health and wellness, inspiration, lake living, mental health, science of happiness

Strike a power pose

Girl striking a power pose on a paddleboard

The other day I was swimming in our lake visiting with my neighbours at their dock. Ashlyn, who just celebrated her tenth birthday struck this kick-ass power pose on her paddleboard, one arm bent confidently on her waist, her other arm holding the paddle firmly. She had a huge grin on her face and I told her she looked fearless, like she could take on the world. Her Mom snapped a quick picture (with me photobombing in the background).

For a ten-year old, striking a power pose may be a fun, spur of the moment natural thing to do. But studies show that striking a power pose can be a powerful technique for gaining confidence, facing difficult situations, and reducing anxiety.

Social psychologist, Harvard lecturer and TedTalk alum Amy Cuddy says striking a power pose, or adopting an “expansive posture” by standing tall and taking up space, can increase self-esteem, a positive outlook, and feelings of power.  

Cuddy says, “Bodies and minds are so closely connected…when you feel powerless, expanding your body can begin to reverse that. That’s not a trick. That’s physiology.”

Think of every Marvel or Avengers hero. They all have their own unique power poses. Superman with both hands on his waist or one arm extended in flight. Wonder Woman with her hands fixed firmly on her hips. Spiderman, crouched on his knees, his one arm bent by his side and his other hand planted on the ground.

You don’t need to be a comic book hero to strike a pose. And if you don’t care about the benefits of adopting an expansive posture, do it anyways. It’s just plain fun.

What’s your power pose?

Posted on in canadiana, charitable, entertainment, Historical, travel

RCMP Musical Ride

RCMP Musical Ride

If a nation is shaped by its history, its symbols and traditions reflect its current values and beliefs.

Last Thursday, we witnessed one of the most iconic of Canadian symbols, the RCMP Musical Ride in Napanee. It was a wonderful performance that made me proud to be Canadian.

It was a glorious summer night. The smoke from wildfires raging in the far north had miraculously cleared earlier in the day, giving full view to the warm sun setting gently to the west.

We secured our seats in the packed grandstands, then I wandered over to watch the performers warm up in a grassy open area behind the horse barns. The 16 riders, dressed in blue t-shirts and pants practiced their drills riding in formation in circle eights, transitioning from a walk, to a canter to a gallop.

You could tell the crowd who had gathered behind the barns to watch were in awe of the horses. They are magnificent black Hanoverian horses bred specifically for their dark colour, calm temperament and athletic ability from a special breeding farm in Pakenham, Ontario.

The troop entered the fairgrounds in a formation of 16 carrying lances and wearing the red full dress uniform complete with the famous Mountie hat. All of the riders are police officers with the RCMP and I was surprised to learn that many had never ridden a horse before joining the Musical Ride team.

The performance was about 45-minutes long and we watched in awe as the riders made the horses go through their paces, performing intricate drills and manoeuvres to music. As the 16 riders and horses circled the ring, clouds of dust filled the air, creating a beautiful effect and making for great photos, as if they were emerging from fog or mist. (One of the officers later told me this was the dustiest performance they ever had!)

Several times, some of the horses reared. The announcer explained that half of the horses were new to the ride, making the performance more “spicy”.

There is always a meet and greet after the ride where the officers approach the fences so members of the audience can pet the horses and talk to the riders. I learned the horses undergo three years of training before they even make it to the Ride and then perform with the troop for about ten years.

I met Gendarme (pictured below), a handsome, 17-year old veteran of the Ride with sweet eyes and the softest fur who will retire in a few years. He’ll become a “schoolmaster”, helping train future riders and performing ceremonial duties. I asked the officer riding him who was more tired after the performance, and he said definitely Gendarme.

RCMP officer on horse Gendarme

Steel was equally handsome, but had some knee pads around his forehocks for protection. I asked the officer if the horses knew their name, and he said yes, the horses will often respond when the riders speak to them by name.

The RCMP Musical Ride is a Canadian tradition that raises thousands of dollars for local charities. The history of the ride dates back to 1873, when the RCMP was founded and the force relied on skilled riders on horses to police the vast territory of the Prairies. To break the monotony of endless riding drills, members of the Force commonly competed amongst themselves and performed tricks on horseback. In 1886, the RCMP established a riding school in Regina and the following year, the first public performances were held.

This year, the Ride is touring in the provinces of Ontario and British Columbia—it goes to different provinces every year so every Canadian gets a chance to experience its tradition. You can see their full 2026 tour schedule here.

This week’s #HappyAct is to take in a Canadian tradition and catch a performance of the RCMP Musical Ride in a community near you.

Did you know? The RCMP hosts an annual “name the foal” contest in the spring when a new horse is born into the musical ride family? Children under the age of 14 and school classes are invited to submit names for new foals born.

RCMP Musical Ride
Horses in ring during RCMP Musical Ride
Horses and riders performing in RCMP Musical Ride
Petting a horse after the RCMP musical ride
Posted on in arts, entertainment, humour, lake living, work

Whistle a tune

Some days I feel like Snow White, sweeping and swirling the dust and dander away in my tiny rustic cottage tucked in the woods as the chipmunks, squirrels and birds flit and fly around me, waiting for my three dwarves, Dopey, Grumpy, and Sleepy to come home (guess who is which).

I usually listen to music when I clean the house–Great Big Sea is my go-to playlist, but the other day my sleeping beauty Grace was still asleep, so I had to work quietly.

I found myself whistling while I worked.

It’s almost impossible to feel sad when you whistle. As the song Whistle While You Work from Snow White goes, “When hearts are high, the time will fly, so whistle while you work”.

Grumpy Dave is a master whistler. He could whistle The Flight of the Bumblebee or Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony while drinking water and dancing a jig.

I, on the other hand, am a terrible whistler. I can never decide whether I should suck or blow (tsk, tsk, people, keep it clean) and when sound does manage to escape my mouth, it is breathy, pitchy and comes in spurts like water spewing from a fountain.

Whistling is a great way to pass the time, especially when you’re working. Of course, if you work in an open office environment, you may want to refrain and save your rhapsodic warbling for home, unless you want to invite heavy office supplies being hurled at you.

This week’s #HappyAct is to whistle while you work, or whistle any old tune.

Editor’s note: The song “Whistle While You Work” was written by Frank Churchill and Larry Morey for the 1937 Disney animated film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It became emblematic as a song of hope for people during the Great Depression. Watch the full clip above to experience the Disney magic and bring a smile to your face. And if you were keeping track, Grace is Sleepy, Dave is Grumpy, which by the process of elimination makes Clare Dopey.

Posted on in global relations, inspiration, Technology and social media

May the power of love overcome the love of power

I first saw these inspiring words a few months ago on my favourite local church sign.

Imagine my surprise this week, when these words became immortalized in digital time when Russian rooftoppers Angela Nikolau and Ivan Kuznetsoz (also known as Ivan Beerkus) illegally climbed the Empire State building spire in New York, proclaimed their love for one another and got engaged, then waved a banner for all the world to see that said, “When the power of love beats the love of power, the world knows peace.” They filmed the entire stunt and then were arrested.

Never mind they erred on the exact wording of the famous quote, attributed to both Jimi Hendrix and former British Prime Minister William Gladstone who said, “We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.”

Never mind some news reports that claim the couple is already married. Cynics may say it was just a publicity stunt for the couple’s 2024 Netflix documentary, Skywalkers: A Love Story.

It was glorious to see.

When asked why they did it, Ivan simply said he wanted a special place to propose. The pair have not issued any political message yet around the stunt. But if our reckless roof loving friends wanted the most epic proposal of all time, the banner would have merely said, “Would you marry me?”

Whatever their motivations, the message proclaimed loudly from the spire of the Empire State building was one of the most inspirational things I’ve seen this year and a beautiful reminder that if we choose love over power, the world will be a happier place.

Posted on in Historical, relationships, work

If walls could talk

Empire Life Head Office complex in Kingston Ontario

Last week, Empire Life invited its retirees to pay our respects and say farewell to our former Head Office complex on King Street in downtown Kingston. Later this year, the company will begin a new chapter in its 100+ year history when it moves to new office space on Hyperion Court.

For almost three decades, I called these buildings home. By my count, I spent more than 50,000 hours there. I wasn’t going to miss my chance to say goodbye.

As we went on a guided tour of the buildings, memories flooded back of potlucks and bake sales, Christmas parties and team celebrations, friendships forged and the work that was our daily grind.

I looked around the room at the faces of the people who had been so much a part of my life during that time. You develop a closeness, a banter when you work with people you see and like every day.

There was John, the manager of our mailroom who whenever you asked him how he was doing would give you the same answer, “Great” with a look that resembled something between a grin, a groan and a grimace on his face.

There was Ann, our one and only web administrator for many years (now an entire department), who always had a fix for whatever mistake you made.

There was my friend Randy, who started out on our IT Help Desk and was the first person I met at Empire. He became a programmer thanks to the company’s commitment to helping people develop and grow. He’s now taken on a brand new role as Grandpa.

There were Mark and Tim, the cool musicians in the Empire House Band who played rockin’ tunes at our annual summer celebration party in the back parking lot (you can still find them playing in local bands Three’s Company and The Retro Kings).

There was Carol and Roxann, two of the hardest workers you would ever meet, the backbone of the company who always flew under the radar but who were dedicated beyond belief.

As we toured the deserted executive area, we saw our President Mark Sylvia quietly working away at his desk. My friend Sylvia and I popped our heads in his office and teased him, saying he should sell the building since it was so empty and asked if he had been playing any euchre lately (Mark always played in our employee euchre tournaments).

After the formal remarks, we looked at pictures of the buildings over the years, past celebrations and events. My favourite events were the senior management challenges where we made our senior leaders do crazy things for charity like ride tricycles, get soaked in dunk tanks, and even dress in drag.

I moved desks at least thirteen times within those walls as my job changed and as the company grew. My last two years I worked from home.

If those walls could talk, I know what they would say. “It’s been a slice. Thanks for the memories.”

Girls dressed up as cowgirls

One of my favourite memories was our summer celebrations, an annual barbecue with live music and games in the back parking lot. Here, Caroline Keyes, Trish MacInnis, me and Heather Priestley, dress up as cowgirls for the western-themed celebration.

Posted on in Historical, travel

Today’s travel hack: catch a ferry

Ferry approaching the beach at Deer Island NB

Whenever I travel, I like to take a ferry. Ferries are a great way to see a city or area from the water. They can break up a long drive, or give you some downtime after a long day on foot. Best of all they are usually very cheap or even free and you often meet some interesting people on board.

Last week, when I was in Halifax, I took the ferry from Halifax to Dartmouth for $3. It was interesting to see the preparations for Sail GP, one of the largest sailing events in the world and all the naval ships in the harbour. My friends who live there were telling me they’ve seen increased activity since Canada has committed to spending more on our national defence.

On the ferry ride home, I met two of the crew members from the British crew competing in Sail GP. Their home base was on the Dartmouth side, but they were staying in Halifax. They are currently in second place in the circuit, hoping to bump the Aussies out of first place. I asked them what their life was like. The racing season starts in January and goes until November. They travel to 13 different countries, staying a little over two weeks in each spot, all expenses paid. Their favourite courses to race are Sydney, Australia, New York and Halifax and their least favourite was Dubai. What a life!  

In February, Dave and I took the ferry from the one side of the Bosphorous in Istanbul to our home base in Taksim for about $2.50 each. The ferry system in Istanbul is extensive and we had great views of the Maiden’s Tower, an ancient watchtower and all the boat traffic from fishing boats to tour boats, high end power boats and commercial vessels in the busy harbour.

Here are some of my favourite ferries I’ve taken in the past few years on my travels:

  • The ferry from Armadale to Mallaig in the Isle of Skye in the highlands in Scotland. Last summer, my best friend Leslie and I saw dolphins right off the boat.
  • The cable ferries in Cape Breton in Englishtown and Little Narrows. Cable ferries are a throwback to earlier days when ferries were manually propelled with a crank or by pulling on a cable. There are about 65 still operating in Canada.
  • If you’re visiting Kingston this summer, be sure to hop on the free Wolfe Islander to see Kingston by the water. Stop at Spicer’s Dockside Grill or the Hotel Wolfe Island for a drink or something to eat on their waterfront patios.
  • The two ferry trip from L’etete, New Brunswick (between Saint John and St. Andrews by the Sea) to Deer Island and Campobello Island. The second ferry is privately owned and is a riot because you literally drive onto a beach to get onto the ferry.

More travel hacks and tips:

  • The Canadian government has dropped the fares by half for ferries to Newfoundland this summer.
  • If you’re travelling down east and need a break from all the driving, take the ferry from Digby, NS to Saint John, NB.
  • Longer distance ferries book up fast so book well in advance and pay attention to the time you need to be there (most are 1 hour in advance, the Newfoundland ferries are 2 hours). If you arrive late, you may miss your spot. This happened to us a few years ago catching the ferry from Vancouver to the Sunshine Coast in BC.
  • Today is the last day for Sail GP in Halifax. You can catch all the action on the Sail GP YouTube channel.

Happy sailing!

Photos: Above: ferry landing on the beach on Deer Island, NB. Below: Ferry traffic on the Bosphorous in Istanbul and view of Galata Tower in Taksim district. Navy ship in Halifax harbour.

Ferries in Istanbul harbour
View of Galata Tower in Taksim district from the Bosphorous
Navy ship and a barge in Halifax harbour
Posted on in ageing, family, relationships

How do you want to be remembered?

Toronto Sun newspaper article from 1984 on the life of Fran Gillies by Claire Hoy

I saw an ad the other day that asked the question, how do you want to be remembered? (It was for a funeral planning service).

It made me stop for a moment and think. My answer may surprise you, but I don’t want to be remembered for anything.

When my mother passed away in 1984, one of my Dad’s journalist colleagues at The Toronto Sun, Claire Hoy wrote a column about her and her battle with cancer. Claire wrote of my parents, “They had a dog and lived on a quiet, suburban street, enjoying a quiet, peaceful ordinary life. They’re not people who ever made the newspapers. You wouldn’t see their names in the social columns. They won’t be in Who’s Who. No, John and Fran were just, well, common folks…But I’ve never seen a headliner with more guts than Fran Gillies. I’ve never seen a public star with more desire to be a good mother, a good wife, a good person.”

When my Dad died, The Globe and Mail published an article about him as part of their obit series on notable Torontonians who have passed away. My Dad would have laughed at being called notable, but since he worked as a photographer for The Globe and Mail and helped organize the royal tours when the British royal family came to Canada in the 1970s, I guess they thought his passing was worthy of notice.

I’m pretty sure when my toes turn facing up, there won’t be any newspaper article about me. Probably by the time it happens, there won’t be any newspapers left for that matter. I’m perfectly fine with that.

I’ve never felt an urgent need or compulsion to leave a legacy on this planet. If a few dogs remember me, that would make me happy. Hopefully my kids.

I’ve come to terms with the fact I was destined to live a small life. I like my small life. I love my small group of friends and my family, although sadly my family is dwindling each year, unless my daughters decide to have kids one day.

I like my small daily rituals and activities. Morning coffees. Afternoon swims. Playing badminton on Monday mornings. Walks with Bentley.

Atlantic magazine recently published an article called, “To Get Happier, Make Yourself Smaller”. Author and researcher Arthur Brooks said the path to enlightment is through contemplating one’s insignificance. People tend to believe they need to become bigger to be happy, but when we become smaller we achieve peace and perspective.

I was reminded of this a few months ago when I attended the Celebration of Life for our dear friend Bruno Albano. There were no newspaper articles, medals or accolades, just an outpouring of love in the room for an incredible human being.

I asked my 92-year old friend Pamela who I drive to writing class each week how she wanted to be remembered. She said, “As a pain in the ass and for all the crazy things I’ve done over the years.” I thought it was the perfect answer.

How do you want to be remembered? Share your answer in the comments. And if you are like me, and your answer is you don’t, know that there is peace, happiness and meaning in leading a small life.

Globe and Mail article on the life of John Gillies with a picture of him meeting the Queen of England