Years ago, when my kids were young, I wanted to write a book called “700 Ways Raising Kids and Dogs are the Same”. I didn’t because it’s already been written.
But as my dogs and children grew old and I progressed in my career, my belief that the same principles for being a good parent, dog owner, and leader became even more steadfast. These are the principles:
Trust is the foundation of everything
Just when you think you have a handle on things, know things will change
If you set clear expectations, it will usually get done, but probably not on your timeline
Food is a great motivator
Treat them equally, but different, and give them your full support
Seek and capitalize on their strengths, instead of focusing on what they can do better
The best ideas come from the most unusual places (in the case of children, never underestimate their creativity or intelligence)
Always be yourself: you can never hide who you truly are—they’ll know
Be present—it’s the best gift you can give them
There is no substitute for love and encouragement
This week’s #HappyAct is show love and encouragement at work and at home (and when all else fails, bribe them with some treats).
A final note on parenting: I read only one parenting book and listened to one audiotape before we had kids. I remember one story about a father trying to get their teenage son to put the garbage out each week. Every week, he’d remind the kid it was garbage day and to put the garbage out. The teenager kept forgetting. Then one day, the kid put the garbage out. When the father looked surprised, the kid said, “What? It’s my job.” The kid put it out every week after.
If you want to get a feel for a place, spend an afternoon in a city park.
A city park is a refuge, a place to exercise, play, eat, rest, and reflect. It’s a place where neighbours, friends, strangers, and lovers meet. It’s a special place that is often the life and heartbeat of the city and the community.
When I travel, one of the first things I like to do is take a stroll in a city park. Whether it’s Regent Park in London, Central Park in New York, or Stanley Park in Vancouver, I love exploring the meandering paths and watching the people and activity going on.
Gage Park in Hamilton has been my strolling ground lately since we are housesitting for Dave’s sister. Here’s what I’ve observed during my morning walks.
Conversations.
An older couple sit on a bench talking to a homeless man. He shares his experience of living in shelters across the country, from Charlottetown to Saint John to Hamilton. He spends part of every day at the Salvation Army. His voice breaks when he tells a story about being chased by street gangs downtown.
Two young mothers pushing strollers walk briskly, sharing confidences. “I’m always thinking, what can I do tomorrow to keep him entertained so I don’t lose my mind. Where’s me? I feel like I’ve lost me becoming a Mom.” The lament of every young mother. I say to them in my head, “Don’t worry, you’ll find yourself again.”
A man wearing a Toronto Blue Jays hat. He doesn’t think their chances are good this year. We chat about the weather and he asks Siri for the forecast, which is very detailed, chance of showers later in the day with a heat wave blazing toward us by the weekend. He used to work on a chicken farm on Starr’s Island in Port Perry and loves dogs. He takes the bus to the park.
Sights, sounds, and smells.
The fragrant scent of lilacs and peonies and roses and the surprising smell of vinegar in the rose garden.
Birdsong. Robins chirping in the trees. A cardinal singing, brightly welcoming the morning.
Black squirrels with brown tails and grey squirrels with black tails chasing each other around the craggy bark of a Kentucky coffee tree.
Bike bells chiming as a man on a bicycle passes a bunch of kids on scooters.
All ages from all walks of life.
A man in an electric wheelchair whirring around the park blasting out Steely Dan on loud speakers; it’s a Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress on his second tour.
City workers hunched low, pruning and weeding in the rose garden, talking about their plans for the weekend.
A young couple lying on a blanket, their heads resting on their elbows, almost touching, deep in conversation.
Toddlers in blue and pink onesies with hats with brims so wide you can’t tell if they stumble because of their pudgy little legs, or because they can’t see two feet in from of them.
A dog walker with six dogs, four types of doodles (always the doodles), a husky and some kind of German shepherd cross. How do the leashes never get tangled?
A parade of mostly mothers and strollers marching through the park and gathering in a circle under a big oak tree for a yoga class.
An older gentleman dressed nattily in a blue checked short-sleeved shirt, grey dress shorts and socks, black running shoes and a bowler hat, jogging slowly through the park. How does he manage to look so dapper jogging?
Teenagers splashing each other with water from the fountain, screaming and swearing, oblivious to the disapproving looks of the older woman sitting nearby.
That irritating older woman, always on her phone, looking down instead of up.*
This week’s #HappyAct is to take a stroll in your city park and discover the heart of your city.
*Ed. note: To truly experience the sights, sounds, and smells of your stroll, it’s recommended to stay off your phone. I did use my phone to take photos and notes since I have a poor memory. And for those of you with a historical interest: Many of Canada’s grandest city parks were built in the golden age of park development from 1874-1914. Mont Royal Park in Montreal was built in 1874, Stanley Park in 1888, Assiniboine Park in Winnipeg in 1909, and Gage Park in 1922. As cities developed, there was a recognition that people needed access to nature for their physical and mental health. The City Beautiful Movement rose which promoted beautiful public spaces, including buildings, streetscapes and parks.
Three years ago today, this big beautiful boy wagged his way into our hearts and lives. He arrived a week before Christmas fresh off a plane from Egypt.
Every dog has their own unique personality and spirit, but Bentley is special. He instinctively knows which one of us needs him most. This past week, when Dave was as sick as a dog with the flu, Bentley barely left his side and when Grace comes home tomorrow, I’m sure he will be snuggling up to welcome her home and make up for lost time.
He’s stupid, loveable, stubborn, lazy, ball crazy and we love him to bits.
Happy Gotcha Day Bentley.
The time he was drinking the toilet water and caught the toilet paper roll.
We were greeted in the farm store by a young girl, who handed us a self-guided map and invited us to take a tour of this working farm.
Our tour guide was an Australian shepherd who led the way from paddock to pen to the various barns and milking stations.
The farm has a massive herd of 800 water buffalo and the paddocks are organized by age, with the adults, tweens and babies separated in the calf barn.
I was very taken by these interesting creatures. The babies in the calf barn were either very curious and friendly, eager for a pet or very shy, backing away from the stall when you went to touch them.
The adults were HUGE with massive teats, broad girths and some with devil horns that twisted around their head.
The farm operation was very modernized, with robotics in the milking barn that steered the cows into their stalls and automatic milkers that disconnected immediately as soon as the cows gave their 8-10 litres per day of milk.
We learned 15% of the world’s milk comes from water buffalo and an adult water buffalo can reach weights up to 2600 pounds.
After our tour, we shopped in the farm’s Buff Stuff Store which carries every type of buffalo meat you can imagine from testicles (limit one per customer!), to liver, to beef patties and steaks and cheeses made from the buffalo milk, their most popular being their mozzarella di bufala, as well as jewelry and steins made out of buffalo horns.
After buying some buffalo burgers for the barbecue, we chatted with owners Martin Littkemanna and Lori Smith, whose young daughter was selling lemonade and homemade cookies to raise money for a friend whose mother was fighting cancer.
Dave asked about the different species of water buffalo, since when we were in Tanzania we had been warned that they could be aggressive. Martin explained there are two main types of water buffalo, river buffalo and swamp buffalo and the ones found on their farm are domesticated with a much more docile personality than the ones we saw in Africa.
Fall is a great time to tour a farm and many local communities host farm events. If you live in eastern Ontario, Open Farm Days in Frontenac County run from September 1 to October 15 and offer a huge array of back-to-the-farm experiences, some free for the whole family. For more information, see openfarms.ca.
They say people resemble their dogs. This is definitely true for Bentley and me. During the summer months, we know it’s been a good day if we’re wet and bedraggled.
Bentley of course, wears the look much better than me. After a day of swimming at the lake, his gorgeous russet brown fur glistens in the sunshine, making swirly patterns on his back.
I’m more on the bedraggled side, but I come by this look naturally. I have fond memories of my Mom, wet and bedraggled after a day at the beach at Lake Simcoe.
She’s been gone almost 40 years now, but I can still picture her walking back from the beach, in beat up old running shoes filled with sand, her short brown hair tousled with a few strands falling across her face. She wore an old one-piece bathing suit with a towel draped around her neck with a big smile on her face. We were always happy up at that old beach cottage.
I think about my Mom as I trudge up our wooded path from the lake, my feet squishing in my crocs feeling clean and refreshed. I’m in my happy state, wet and bedraggled.
A few weeks ago, I was rummaging through some of Clare’s castoffs and found an unopened 2023 Dog Trivia Daily Desk Calendar.
I took it to work and have been catching up on my dog trivia ever since. Here are some fun facts to make you smile during the Dog Days of Summer:
Dogs sleep between 12-14 hours a day
Elvis Presley sang his song “Hound Dog” to a top-hat wearing basset hound on a July 1956 episode of The Steve Allen Show
According to a 2017 study from the Journal of Nature, dogs make dramatic facial expressions and “puppy eyes” when they know humans are watching them
Hamilton composer Lin Manuel Miranda was inspired to write the ballad “Dear Theodosia” after adopting Tobilio, a stray puppy in 2011 (note you can catch the Toronto production of Hamilton on stage now)
Julius Caeser described mastiffs in his account of the Roman invasion of Britain in 55 BC
The Scottish terrier has been one of the Monopoly tokens since 1942
A golden retriever, Mayor Max II, was Mayor of Idyllwild California for eight years until 2022
Afghans have dolichocephalic (long) heads giving them a field of vision of 270 degrees
Weimaraner puppies are born with striped fur. Within days, the stripes fade
And for all you fellow dog lovers in South Frontenac, don’t miss the Dog Days of Summer event at the Frontenac Farmers Market this Friday, July 14 from 3-7 pm in Centennial Park.
Bring your pooch for a dog-themed outing. Get their photos taken, nails trimmed, enter to win a “ruff”-le basket and let your four-legged friend have some fun at the off-leash dog park. All proceeds go to Happy Tail Animal Sanctuary and Kingston Humane Society. I also read that the Kingston Humane Society has been at capacity recently. Summer is a great time to adopt a pet.
Did you know the dogs of the Frontenac Farmers Market have their own Instagram account? Follow them at frontenacfarmersmarketdogs.
Sometimes, when life is a blur, I like to look back on my camera roll to remind me of all the things I’ve done in the past month. It reminds me that no matter how busy and tired I am, I’m blessed to live such a full life, filled with good friends, good food, people who love me no matter what, and lots of fond memories. Here are some of my favourite pictures from my camera roll this month.
What’s on your camera roll? Tell me about your favourite photos in the comments.
Pictured above: We had Dave’s Dad visiting us last week and we went for a drive up to Wheeler’s Pancake House for breakfast. If you’ve never tried their maple breakfast sausages, they are definitely worth the drive!
This is my friend Audrey. We went to the Frontenac Women’s Chorus spring concert and Audrey won the door prize, this beautiful herb basket!
These are my friends Steve and Katie. They’re getting married in June and I went to their stag and doe. Here they are feeding each other cupcakes blindfolded.
We love dog visitors and one of our favourites, Rip came to stay with us for a few days this month. It’s also been great having Grace home.
One night after work last week I stopped by to drop off my seedlings fundraiser money to my friends Helen and Roger. Roger gave me a tour of his beautiful gardens.
This weekend, Clare competed in a hockey tournament in Kingston. She played six games in three days. They took home silver.
My mother-in-law once said the biggest change she had seen in her lifetime was no one just sits anymore.
On my last sunny beach day in South Carolina a few weeks ago, I just sat on the beach and watched the world go by.
There were families who lugged their beach carts to the same spot they had the day before, filled to the brim with plastic sand shovels, coolers, colourful beach chairs and umbrellas. Before the adults could set up even one chair, the kids would grab the beach toys and run with glee towards the water and furiously start digging in the sand.
There were surf fisherman who sat close to shore, the water lapping up on their toes as their lines bounced in the white-flecked waves.
There were lots and lots of dogs, since it was a pet friendly beach. German shepherds, labs, a grizzled old golden retriever that lay beside its owners in a small patch of shade beside their chair, and breeds I never even knew existed like the German Elo (who was named Murphy, by the way, just like our old dog Murph).
There were osprey soaring in the brilliant blue skies, splashing into the surf to catch their lunch, then lifting slowly and wobbily, a fresh catch in their talons. There were pelican armies flying in formation patrolling the picturesque shoreline, and gulls, terns and sandpipers tiptoeing in the grainy sands.
And best of all there were dolphins. Spied first far, far out in the ocean. Their fins cresting out of the water in graceful intervals. Then closer to shore, coming near my two teenagers splashing in the waves. I try to yell at them to look, but they just wave back, oblivious of the magnificent creatures sharing the ocean’s expanse.
I couldn’t believe how many dolphins I spied that day. There were multiple pods, some playing in the waves, leaping in the white crests of the surf and blowing and chuffing as they came up for air. They must have known the weather was about to change and decided to enjoy their final day on the beach frolicking in the waves.
Yes, spending a day watching the world go by is a bit of a luxury in today’s world, but I highly recommend it…especially at the beach.
Ed. note: The photos below were all taken in the evening since I didn’t bring my phone to the beach during the dayso they don’t capture the images I’ve described above, but I hope you enjoy them anyway.
Street art installation on the Waterfront Trail at the Cataraqui Riverin Kingston
About a month ago, I started a new job. One of the perks of changing jobs is I’ve been able to explore a new area of Kingston on my daily walks at lunch.
This isn’t the touristy part of the Kingston. You won’t find photos of the north side of Princess Street in the glossy travel brochures, but I‘ve found my new little neighbourhood has heart and soul in spades and is full of hidden gems.
My first stroll took me down the Waterfront Trail along the Cataraqui River near the old Woolen Mill. There were dozens of swans gracefully swimming in the river, and turtles basking in the sunshine on the shore. A group of school girls were having their photos taken on the big grassy area by the water and people were out jogging and walking their dogs.
Across the trail was a street art installation with the most amazing graffiti. The sign said people were free to paint over any of the sections, but you could tell the graffiti had been there for some time.
The next day I walked up some of the back streets, past brightly coloured orange, yellow and green houses like you’d find in Newfoundland or Nova Scotia, and homes with kiosks out front saying, “Take what you need, leave what you can”. I found a poetry garden with a poem by Lorna Crozier and sidewalks with chalk signs that offered up lemonade and free dog biscuits.
Another day, I was walking along Rideau Street and saw a young woman walking a dog with gorgeous black, brown and white markings. The dog promptly stopped and sat down at the corner. I was curious why the dog stopped so I stood and watched. The girl looked over and smiled and waited.
The door to a house across the street swung open and another young woman emerged and crossed the road with a plastic bag full of dog treats. It was clear this was a daily routine. It was a beautiful moment that I felt lucky to witness that showed how deep and caring the connections were in my new neck of the woods.
This week’s #HappyAct is to explore a new area of your city. You never know what hidden gems and stories you may find.
Happy Act 