One of the greatest skills you can learn in life is when to say yes and when to say no.

This applies to parenting, volunteering, work, relationships, and the list goes on.

Some career coaches would advise you to always lean in and say yes when tapped on the shoulder to take on a new role or responsibilities at work. Not at the cost of your happiness.

There were at least three times in my career when I was offered a different role not in my chosen field of communications that would have given me broader management experience where I said no. Would I have advanced further in my career? Probably. But I know for a fact I would have been miserable and to this day I’m grateful I made the right decision for me and for my family to be happy.

I’m now a retiree and one of my retirement pledges was to help my community more. I’m still navigating what this looks like. I’ve started volunteering at the community garden once a week that supplies our local food bank and Meals on Wheels programs, just finished my annual seedling fundraiser for the Sydenham Lake Canoe Club, and worked a shift for the Verona Lions for their annual Victoria Day voluntary road toll. I was very happy to say yes to all of these volunteer jobs.

I also have greater clarity on what I’ll say no to. I refuse to do another garage sale—they are just too much work (ironically, Dave volunteered at one yesterday morning), and true to my retirement pledges, I’ll never sign up for something where I have to be on Zoom or in meetings a lot. Been there, done that.

Some people say yes to everything. They are the heroes and backbones of every workplace and community. I admire these people, but I am not one of them.

Here’s the wonderful thing about saying yes. When you say yes to the things you enjoy, you feel good about your contributions and are far more confident and unapologetic about saying no to the things that won’t bring you joy.

Sometimes it all comes down to timing. There are periods in our lives when you want to do more, but you just can’t. You have enough on your plate. During those times, it’s okay to say no. The day will come when you can say yes again.

This week’s #HappyAct is to learn when to say yes and when to say no. And whatever your answer is, always prioritize your happiness or the happiness of your family in the decision.

Pictured above: My neighbour Odin and I working the Verona Lions road toll. All the money raised goes back into the community. Learn more about volunteering with the Verona Lions. Below: volunteers at the Grace Centre garden with the garden coordinator Josey Cadieux (Dave was whipper snipping and didn’t want to be in the picture). See this article in the Frontenac News for more on the garden.