As a parent, all you really want is for your kids to be happy. Helping my kids find happiness was one of the reasons I started this blog, but I quickly realized I couldn’t help them be happy, they had to chart their own path in finding joy and happiness in their lives.
So my heart soared when we received a phone call from Grace last week. She was in the Starbucks drive-through and saw a police car pull up behind her. She decided to pay it forward and buy the police officers a coffee.
They pulled up beside her and rolled down their windows to thank her, saying it was so nice (and sadly rare) when members of the community expressed their appreciation for what they did. Since Grace is a Park Warden with Ontario Parks and often works with the OPP on incidents, she has immense respect for police officers.
It made my day to hear the happiness in Grace’s voice as she related how good it felt to do this one small act of kindness that made such a big difference in the day of these police officers.
And it made me smile to think, maybe, just maybe, the Nextgen of #HappyActs is alive and well.
The 2025 World Happiness Report was released on March 20, the International Day of Happiness. The first World Happiness Report was published in 2012 after Bhutan, a country that measures its success based on the happiness of its people urged the UN and national governments to “give more importance to happiness and well-being in determining how to achieve and measure social and economic development.”
Since then, the report has been measuring which countries in the world have the happiest citizens and exploring various themes related to global happiness including age, generation, gender, migration, sustainable development, benevolence, and the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic on global well-being.
As always, the results of this year’s report are fascinating (you can read the full report here.) The authors chose the theme “Caring and Sharing”, delving into how caring and sharing and specifically three benevolent acts, donating, volunteering and helping strangers can make people happier.
The Happiest Countries
Finland ranked #1 for the eighth year in a row while Canada ranked 18th. The US fell off the list of the top 20 happiest countries to #24. One troubling statistic is that in general, the western industrial countries are now less happy than they were between 2005 and 2010 with the US, Canada and Switzerland experiencing the biggest drops.
Here are the top 20 happiest countries in order:
Finland Denmark Iceland Sweden Netherlands Costa Rica Norway Israel (if you’re wondering about Israel, it scored highest in several areas, including the quality of social connection amongst youth) Luxembourg Mexico Australia New Zealand Switzerland Belgium Ireland Lithuania Austria Canada Slovenia Czechia
Key findings
Beyond health and wealth, simple acts of caring and sharing can influence happiness, including sharing meals with others, having somebody to count on for social support, and household size.
While it’s well documented that people who live alone are unhappier, research shows that happiness rises with household sizes up to four people, but above that happiness declines.
We are too pessimistic about kindness in our communities, and this pessimism is contributing to our unhappiness. For example, when wallets were dropped in the street by researchers, the proportion of returned wallets was far higher than people expected.
One interesting piece of research and a positive from the global pandemic is we’ve seen a “benevolence” bump of 10% since COVID-19. The pandemic taught us to think and care for others more, and that benevolence has continued.
One disturbing trend is young people in North America and Western Europe now report the lowest well-being and happiness among all age groups. In 2023, 19% of young adults across the world reported having no one they could count on for social support, a 39% increase compared to 2006. In fact, the fall in the United States’ happiness ranking is largely due to the decline in well-being among Americans under 30.
When society is more benevolent, the people who benefit most are those who are least happy. As a result, happiness is more equally distributed in countries with higher levels of expected benevolence
So what does this year’s report tell us and what simple happy acts can we all do to promote caring and sharing?
Share meals together: people who eat frequently with others are happier
Be kind and don’t underestimate the kindness of others
Try not to live alone
Build social connections and don’t be afraid to reach out to people
Practice benevolent acts–do what you can to volunteer, donate or help a stranger (several African countries reported low scores for donating but scored very high for helping strangers which helped their happiness scores)
Finally remember that caring is “twice-blessed”: it blesses those who give and those who receive. Have a happy week.
There is an epidemic sweeping our country—the epidemic of loneliness.
In our grandparents’ day, the average detached home in Canada had six people in it. For my generation, it was four people. Today it’s 2.1. One of the fastest growing sub-segments in the housing industry today is single homeowners in their 20s. For the first time in modern history, we also have an entire generation of seniors living alone in isolation.
The two age brackets most at risk of being lonely are youth and seniors. According to Statistics Canada’s Canadian Social Survey: Loneliness in Canada, more than 1 in 10 people aged 15 or older say they “always or often” feel lonely. A 2024 study of seniors estimated between 19-24% of Canadians over the age of 65 feel isolated from others and wished they could participate in social activities in their community.
The impacts of loneliness in seniors especially are well known. In addition to depression, emotional distress, and dementia, loneliness can result in increased risks of chronic illness and falls, poor general health and premature death.
Humans were not meant to live alone. We were meant to live in tribes.
So what can we do to battle the epidemic of loneliness? Here are some words of advice people shared in a recent Quora post:
“Have a pet and walk them every day. You’ll meet people on your walks”
“Join a club or activity…check out the nearest seniors centre for programs services” (I’ve really enjoyed the activities I participate in at the Seniors Association of Kingston and have found my tribe there)
“Volunteer”
“Find people you can text every day”
“Check out the website meetup.com for a list of groups and activities that may appeal to you” (I looked to see what was listed for my area of Kingston, Ontario and there was everything from guided hikes, to toastmasters groups, to meditation and church groups)
“Nobody is going to come to you. Go out and find a church family, join a gym, go for walks, talk to your neighbours. Don’t spend your senior years being sad. Enjoy every day you have left. If you lived near me I would be your friend.”
“Every time you find yourself thinking about your own loneliness and state, think about someone in the world you can help. A neighbour who needs help, bake some cookies, whatever”
“To have a friend you need to be a friend.”
“I remember this documentary on finding happiness. The director at the beginning of the film said he would sum up the secret of happiness with one 4 letter word. I assumed it would be “love” but was surprised when he said it was risk. It’s all about taking calculated risks and steps to make opportunities happen for yourself and it will pay off. Good luck your future happiness is within you.”
This week’s #HappyAct is to do something to battle the epidemic of loneliness. Reach out to a friend, join a group, visit a senior who lives alone. It’s all about caring and sharing—more on that next week!
Coming up…March 20 is World Happiness Day. This year’s theme is Caring and Sharing. Be sure to check back next week when I dive into the results of the 2025 Report on World Happiness.
Photo: One of my favourite photos of Dave’s Dad who is living proof a youthful heart and spirit will always keep you young at heart and happy.He texts his friends and family every day.
I made a new friend last night. His name was Alan.
Alan was sitting alone reading the Globe and Mail and sipping a pint of Stella when Dave and I wandered into the Toucan pub in Kingston last night, killing time between two movies at the Kingston Canadian Film Festival.
We got to talking, as strangers are wont to do in a bar, the conversation starting with Trump and the situation in the US, then veering into Alan’s fascinating life.
A son of a diplomat, Alan spent his childhood living around the world in countries like Afghanistan, Pakistan, the Belgian Congo, Lebanon, Portugal, Spain, and Sweden. He shared one story from the time when he was a boy in Pakistan of one of the British dignitaries’ wives separating the children into teams of colonials versus locals for games at a British garden party.
When he graduated from university, he became a land technician with the Ministry of Natural Resources, a job he said he absolutely adored. One project he led was researching all the treaties to create Petroglyphs Provincial Park in Peterborough. He shared how for thousands of years, the various Indigenous peoples of that region took turns scraping the moss from the Teaching Rocks, passing down the teachings from generation to generation.
When I had jokingly said we’d be better off if women were in leadership positions around the world when we were talking about Trump, he smiled and leaned in and talked more about the belief of Indigenous Peoples in Gitche Manitou, the “goddess of supreme being” and how women in Indigenous cultures were tasked with the most important role, taking care of the home and children.
After his time with the MNR, Alan founded his own communications company and started doing documentary work. He travelled to the Congo in 1995 to document the outbreak of Ebola. The stories he shared were fascinating. He said both the US and Russian armies were present, but not to help the dying and suffering. They were there to see if they could weaponize the virus. That never made it into the film.
Over the course of a few hours and pints, we talked about fishing, travelling, our children, the Montreal Canadiens, Canada-US relations and how lonely it can be living alone.
As we paid our bill and gathered up our coats to head out into the chilly February night, I gave Alan a big hug and said I hope we meet again. Two barflys, no longer strangers, now friends after sharing a special bond in a bar.
This week’s #HappyAct is to wander into a bar and make a new friend. Here are a few bar jokes to leave you smiling:
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, “I’ll have a pint of blood.” The second one says, “I’ll have one, too.” The third one says, “I’ll have a pint of plasma.” The bartender says, “So, that’ll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?”
A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.” A time traveler walks into a bar.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon, his spurs clinking as he walks, his six-shooter slapping at his furry hip. He bellies up to the bar, stares down the bartender, and proclaims, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
Last week, I was lucky enough to attend a Choir Choir Choir performance at the Grand Theatre in Kingston, featuring the songbook of Queen and Freddie Mercury.
In case you are unfamiliar with Choir, Choir, Choir, it’s a performance where a duo called Daveed and Nobu sing and play guitar and conduct the audience in harmonies of their favourite songs. At a triple C performance, the audience is the star.
Choir Choir Choir is uniquely Canadian. It started in Toronto 14 years ago as a weekly drop-in for people who were looking for an outlet to sing. Since then, it has grown to be a popular mainstage show, the duo having performed at Carnegie Hall, Radio City Music Hall, and Massey Hall. They describe the experience as equal parts singing, comedy, and community building. Their motto is “Never stop singing”.
It was surprising to see how quickly the audience came out of their shell. As adults, we tend to be self-conscious when we sing, especially if we aren’t blessed with a great voice, but the sheer joy of the music and the experience quickly drowned out our fears and feelings of self-consciousness, and soon everyone was singing in full voice.
It is a powerful thing to hear voices raised in song, singing with passion and commitment. When the crowd sang the Canadian national anthem at the recent Four Nations Cup hockey tournament in Montreal, it was an incredibly moving and galvanizing moment for Canadians. I wish I had been there to experience it.
For “You’re My Best Friend”, they asked the audience to videochat a bestie during the song. My friend Leslie was laughing as I sang to her “been with you such a long time, you’re my sunshine”…
When it came time for the encore, Bohemian Rhapsody, Daveed and Nobu invited people to join them on stage to sing and dance along.
A few interesting facts about Bohemian Rhapsody, arguably the best rock song of all time. When it was first released in 1975, it immediately went to #1 on the charts in almost every country in the world, except the US where it climbed only to #9. The song found a whole new generation of fans and hit #1 on the charts again in 1992 when Canadian Mike Meyers’ Wayne’s World was released.
As we sang Scaramouche, scaramouche can you do the fandango, we were all on our feet, singing at the top of our lungs. Watch the video below to see the crowd erupt on stage during the guitar solo.
I walked out of the theatre feeling joyous and uplifted. People were smiling, laughing, singing and humming, with one lady singing Don’t Stop Believing loudly in a vestibule. Oh, what a night.
This week’s #HappyAct is to never stop singing. Let’s take a pledge going forward to all sing our National Anthem out loud at events instead of standing in respectful silence.
On Friday, at my last writer’s group meeting of 2024, one of our group members Joanne wanted to share something she had written in the spirit of the season. She called it “So this is Christmas” and started with the immortal verse John Lennon wrote more than 40 years ago during the Vietnam War for the song Happy Xmas/War is Over.
As Joanne read her heartfelt piece of thanks and gratitude, I looked around the room and thought about how grateful I was to be a part of this interesting group of people and how much I have learned from them in the four short months since I joined the group.
I’ve learned about botany, the undercover world of police work and drug busts, life in the Congo in the 1950s, the wild ponies in the New Forest in Hampshire, growing up on the Isle of Wight and so much more.
Some of us are writing novels, others short stories, and some their memoirs. All of us share a love and passion for writing.
But as much as writing brought us together, it is the people and camaraderie that make us come back each week.
There’s Franklin, our kind, patient leader who reminds us he will ring the bell if we go over time when sharing our work, but hasn’t rung it once since I’ve joined.
There’s Dorothy Anne, our skilled master, always with an encouraging word, tip or suggestion to improve our writing.
There’s Wayne, our pastry muse who scours the local bakeries to feed our minds and souls and lets us choose not just one, but two delectable treats, one to eat in class and one to take home.
There’s Sister Maureen, Greta and Pamela who honour us by sharing a glimpse into the fascinating lives they’ve lived each week.
There’s Mo, who shared such a moving piece a few weeks ago describing the sounds of a home filled with children, and the heartbreaking silence when they become adults and move out, that it took three members to finish reading it as each person welled up with tears.
As I was thinking about this group and Joanne’s words, she shared this, “It’s true we cannot change what is happening around the world and often not even in our own communities, so we may think, ‘Why bother?’ or ‘What can I do?’. The answer is plenty, and it all starts with kindness.”
So, this is Christmas. What have you done? Another year is over and a new one begun. Let’s all take a page from my writer’s group, and start the year with kindness.
I love Christmas. Dave hates Christmas. This makes for an interesting dynamic in our household as the holidays become near.
To be fair, Dave doesn’t really hate Christmas. He laments the commercialism of the holiday and despises stores putting decorations out and playing Christmas music in November. But as December creeps upon us, my grinch’s heart warms to holiday traditions and Christmas cheer.
On Friday, I planned the jolliest of jaunts to help my humbugger of a husband get into the holiday spirit.
We drove up to Sharbot Lake for their annual Festival of Trees, a fundraiser for Villages Beautiful, a local organization that raises money for beautification projects in Central Frontenac.
As we walked down the street to the Oso Hall, a nearby church piped cheery Christmas carols that floated through the air like Santa’s sleigh.
We entered the hall where a band and choir were singing Christmas tunes and the smell of hot chocolate and cider permeated the air. We admired the festive trees decorated by local businesses and service organizations and placed our raffle tickets for our chance to win gift baskets, artwork and beautiful prizes.
After a quick visit with friends, we headed to our next destination: Riverhill Farm in Ompah to see North Frontenac’s largest light display.
We had read about this local family who began opening their 20-acre farm to visitors for their light display in 2014, but were still unprepared for the treat that lay before us.
We drove down a long driveway lined by cedar rail posts decorated with Christmas lights to the entrance. A beautiful log cabin surrounded by stately trees laden with lights greeted us, along with an animatronics display of four smiling Christmas trees singing Have a Holly Jolly Christmas.
We first took a drive through the light display (you can drive through it or walk), then parked and walked. A sliver moon peeped out from behind the clouds and we marvelled at the different displays: a small white chapel in a field, a grinch and his sleigh, a white present with red bow on top that was so big you could walk through it, candy canes, Christmas trees and glittering balls.
Sometimes light displays can almost verge on the tacky. Not at Riverhill Farm. My favourite was the beautiful large oaks and maples decorated with ribbon lights along the trunks and different coloured lights in swaths along the branches.
As we wandered around the 200,000 sparkling lights amidst the newfallen snow, my grinch’s hardened heart grew two times that night.
Dave said if he lived near Riverhill Farm, he’d come every night to see the light display.
This week’s #HappyAct is to plan a jolly jaunt to make even the hardened of Grinch’s hearts grow with holiday cheer.
If you plan to visit: The farm is open every night now until December 30. Admission is by donation. On Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights there are vendors, wagon rides and a concession stand selling hot chocolate, coffee, and our favourite, mini-doughnuts. For a special treat, plan on visiting Saturday, December 14 for the fireworks at 7 pm.
More Christmas light shows: My loyal readers will know I have a thing for Christmas light shows. Read more about the tradition of Christmas lights in “Enjoy the Wizards Light Show”.
There is something to be said about the element of surprise.
Yesterday, I threw a surprise 60th birthday party for Dave at Spearhead Brewing Company in Kingston. It was meant to be a low-key affair since he is still recovering from knee replacement surgery, but it turned out to be a raucous good time with many friends and former co-workers coming out to wish him well, followed by an after-party at our house with some close friends and neighbours.
Our family has a long tradition of holding surprise parties. When I turned 30, Dave and my friend John McMurray conspired to throw a big party at his house in Erin. I thought we were just having a quiet dinner and didn’t even put on any make-up that night, only to walk into a full room of thirty of our closest friends jumping out yelling surprise.
On Dave’s 40th, I rented the downstairs of a restaurant in Kingston and invited all our friends from Toronto and Kingston. There was lots of food, a blow-up doll and I even roped four couples into playing the Newlywed Game. My friend Jill dressed for the occasion in a leopard jacket and thigh-high boots, and I surprised Dave and my brother-in-law Lloyd with tickets to the Grey Cup the next day.
For my 50th, Dave plotted with my boss Julie to throw a big birthday bash at lunch at a restaurant downtown with all my co-workers from Empire Life. It was such a fun time and I even got the afternoon off.
Fast forward another decade (where does the time go?) to yesterday. It was such a special day. Our friend Lorna showed up with snowshoes and Christmas lights on her back since she was walking in the Kingston Santa Claus parade after with the Rideau Trail Club. Dave’s sister and husband, my brother and our cottage neighbour Mark came all the way from Hamilton and Toronto for the party, and there was lots of laughs had, beer drunk, and fish stories told. As Dave said, it was a wonderful intersection of the many cherished friends and connections we’ve made over the years since moving to this area.
The only thing that could have made the day more special was if the girls and their boyfriends could have celebrated with us, but we had a lovely family birthday celebration the week before.
To all our friends who came out to raise a glass with us yesterday, first, I salute you. You brilliantly kept it secret and a surprise, sending texts with good wishes in the morning so Dave wouldn’t suspect a thing. You are the best!
From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for coming and for making Kingston’s newest 60-year sexagenarian who is usually a grump on his birthday a very happy guy.
Photos: (above) our friends Jon and Mark, my brother Don and Dave; Jon is giving me the finger on behalf of Dave for planning a surprise party behind his back.
Below: Our friends Ally and Tony, me, Carolyn and Michael; the gang having a good time–so great to see everyone mingling!; our friend Lorna all lit up for the Kingston Santa Clause parade; Lorna and our friend John’s daughter Maria; Dave and his sister Liz.
Every country has its own unique belief system and language to describe happiness. Let’s take a quick trip around the world to see how other cultures seek and find happiness:
Joyous Icelanders embrace theta reddast, the belief that everything will work out in the end.
Italians believe dolce far niente, the sweetness of doing nothing.
In France, people exude joie de vivre, the joy of living.
Chinese xing fu is the art of finding your purpose.
The Dutch celebrate Gezellig, time spent with loved ones in a convivial and cozy atmosphere.
Germans believe in ruhe, finding peace and quiet.
And then there are the Scandinavians–the Danes known for hygge, the art of creating comfort and coziness and the Finns who value sisu, having the psychological strength to overcome extraordinary challenges.
Some countries have embedded happiness into their political and economic systems. Bhutan measures Gross National Happiness instead of GDP based on four pillars: ecological sustainability, preservation and promotion of a free and resilient culture, good governance and equality before the law, and sustainable and equitable socio-economic development.
I think North Americans could learn much about happiness from these other cultures. The ones that resonated most with me were the sweetness of doing nothing, finding peace and quiet, and believing everything will work out in the end. Which ones resonated most with you?
If you’d like to learn more about happiness around the globe, read The Atlas of Happiness: The Global Secrets of How to be Happy by Helen Russell. The common denominator in all these cultures? The power of positivity goes a long way. Have a happy week.
I once worked with a fellow who said never try a new sport after 50. He said if you’ve played a sport like hockey or skiing all your life, you can keep doing it well into your 70s or 80s, but never start a new sport after 50 because it was a recipe for disaster.
I’ve recently started playing stocksport or ice stock with our local South Frontenac Stockport Club.
Ice stock is a winter sport that originated in Austria and Southern Germany. It’s like curling, but instead of throwing rocks, you throw stocks into the house. In the summer, it’s called stocksport when you play on a concrete surface and in winter it’s known as ice stock when you play on ice.
Teams of four slide their stocks to get closest to a round rubber target that looks like a puck called the “daube” which is placed in the middle of the house. The daube moves which makes the game more interesting and adds an extra layer of strategy from curling. You also can switch out the plates on the stock to make your stock go faster (for take-outs) and slower.
Ice Stock Sport has been demonstrated at the Winter Olympic Games on two occasions.
While stocksport isn’t widely known in Canada, there is a devoted group of stockers and our little club punches well above its weight, sending members to the World Championships and competing internationally.
For anyone looking for a new sport or pastime, I’d highly recommend it. It’s a highly social game, so it’s a great way to meet new people in your area, easy to learn and play (I’m already getting the hang of it), and fun.
What I love most about our South Frontenac Stocksport Club is how warm and welcoming everyone is. The club includes people from ages 10 to 80 from all walks of life. Everyone is treated equally and greeted with a smile and encouraging word, no matter how new to the sport you are or how good you are.
Yesterday the club held its annual tournament. My team placed third out of eight teams, winning the bronze prize (our choice of coolers, awesome!)
This week’s #HappyAct is to try a new sport. To learn more about the South Frontenac Stocksport Club, follow them on Facebook.
Happy Act 