Posted on in holidays, money, shopping

Let’s hear it for the Geek Squad

Happy shopper photo

A couple of weeks ago, I was doing some work on my MacBook Air when suddenly everything stopped saving. I was getting out of memory errors even though the diagnostics showed I still had plenty of memory left and Microsoft Office wouldn’t work properly.

I packed up my Mac and popped into Best Buy on my way to my Friday afternoon writers’ group.

For the past ten years, we’ve bought all our computers and phones from Best Buy. As big retailers go, I think they are one of the best with excellent service, knowledgeable and friendly staff, and competitive prices. I went to their Geek Squad desk, and within twenty minutes I was on my way, my Mac issue resolved. When I asked how much I owed them, the guys smiled and said no charge.

With the crazy holiday shopping season soon upon us, I thought I’d share my list of best brands to buy from this holiday season, with an emphasis on Canadian, their willingness to go the extra mile for their customers, and cost since inflation is through the roof.

  • Canadian Tire: still one of my favourite Canadian retailers, with one of the best return policies around and items on everyone’s Christmas list. They’ll also go the extra mile to help their customers and the community. During the ice storm of ’98, when we bought a blue water jug from the Canadian Tire in Kingston, the manager filled the jug for us. And just last week when I started my holiday shopping there, I saw an employee out front helping a customer fix their bike.
  • Simons: Keeping on the department store theme, Simons is a Quebec-based fashion mecca for anyone looking for stylish, inexpensive fashion. Their roots date as far back as 1840 and they now have 17 stores across the country and are opening two more in the GTA this winter. I discovered Simons when I used to go to Montreal for business and make it a regular stop every time I’m in Montreal.
  • Dollarama: Another Quebec success story, everyone knows this beloved dollar store where your buck goes a long way. Fantastic for stocking stuffers, cards, gift wrap and more.
  • Winners and HomeSense: No matter what time of day you go into a Winners or HomeSense, there’s a lineup to check out which speaks to the popularity of these discount stores. What I like the most is it feels like a treasure hunt every time you visit—you never know what you are going to find.
  • Giant Tiger, aka the “GT Boutique”: A local low-cost favourite (the first Giant Tiger stores opened in Ottawa and Napanee in the 1960s and are owned by a local family), if you’ve never set foot in a Giant Tiger, you may be surprised you can find some of the biggest brands at reasonable prices, including Spyder, Disney, RealTree and NHL, CFL and NFL merchandise.
  • Any local craft fair: I still say the most special gifts are anything you can buy locally made with love. I’ve already started scouring some of my local craft fairs for gifts. Bonus: there’s usually always a bake table to stock up on treats!

This holiday shopping season, make sure your shopping experience is a positive one and you leave a happy customer. What are your favourite retailers and why? Leave a comment. Happy shopping!

Posted on in environment, nature

Learn to accept when nature takes its course

Great blue heron on a shoreline

Last Sunday, I walked down to the lake to throw some sticks for Bentley so he could have a late fall swim.

As we approached the dock, we startled a large great blue heron who had been standing on the shoreline close to the dock. Bentley started chasing the heron, and instead of flying away, which would have been the bird’s normal behaviour, the heron flapped its wings into the water a few feet, flailed around for a bit, then limped back to shore.

By this time, I realized something was wrong with my friend Harry. I hastily called Bentley off and sat down on the dock to observe him.

I couldn’t see any visible sign he was injured. I thought one of his legs might have been hurt, but herons have those weird stilt-like legs that bend almost backwards when they walk so it was hard to tell. Also, if his leg was hurt, he probably could still fly away. There was also no marked injury on his wings.

I called Sandy Pines Wildlife Centre for some advice. They suggested trying to capture the heron with a sheet or blanket and place it in a dog crate and bring it in. I still wasn’t convinced Harry was hurt, so I decided to leave it for a day and if Harry was still in the same spot 24 hours later, I’d reassess. I watched him catch and eat a frog, so I knew he was at least eating.

I was busy in town the next morning, but went down to the lake after lunch, and sure enough, Harry was still there.

He was standing on a steep section of the shoreline, and I had no idea how I could catch him safely. I also wanted a second opinion since I wasn’t convinced he was injured. I also knew that any capture attempt would be extremely stressful on the bird.

Dave thought he just might be old and ready to fly away to the big heron rookery in the sky. Herons live typically 15-20 years and are very territorial, so if this was my friend Harry who I shared our lake with for the past 20 years, it was possible he was weak and old and nearing the end of his life.

I called my neighbour Bruno who came over on his pontoon boat. Using the trolling motor, we came within five feet of Harry. He didn’t fly away but kept hopping along the shore away from us. Bruno agreed something was wrong with him (he would have flown away), but we came to the conclusion there was no way we could catch him and he was just old.

As we were about to give up the mission, Harry mustered up his last ounce of energy and lifted his majestic wings for a final low flight across the lake, almost as if to say, “thanks for the concern guys, but I’d prefer to be alone.”

I snuck in two paddles during those final warm days of October. I found Harry standing camouflaged in the marsh in the exact same spot he had flown to both days across the lake. I said my goodbyes and accepted it was time for nature to take its course.

Heron on the shore
Great blue heron
Posted on in family, health and wellness, mental health, nature, relationships

Find your anchors in life

Sun shimmering on a lake as seen from a deck

As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to recognize the importance of anchors in life.

An anchor can be a person, a place, a thing, or something you love to do that lifts you up and feeds your soul. It is anything that grounds you or provides comfort or solace during times of trouble.

For a child, an anchor might be a teddy bear or favourite toy. For a widower, it may be a cherished photo of their spouse sitting on their nightstand.

My anchors are living and being in nature, swimming, music, writing, and Dave.

You really know when something is an anchor in your life when it isn’t there. This past week, Dave had his second knee replaced. Thankfully, the surgery went well and he’s now home resting nicely, but he was in far more pain the day of the operation compared to his first knee replacement and they kept him in the hospital overnight.

I returned home to an empty house that night feeling a bit lost and adrift. Dave has always been a big anchor in my life, and I found myself wandering around the house, restless and anxious. I was never so happy to find him doing much better the next day and ready to come home.

Living and spending time in nature is another key anchor for me. In the summer, I know I need to spend at least an hour or two at the lake every day. If I don’t, I get surly. The trees, the sun glimmering on the water, and spending time outdoors are an essential part of my happiness.

Swimming is an extension of this. I remember a particular Saturday two years ago when Dave’s sister was dying of cancer. Dave and I were helping my brother-inlaw at the house and taking turns driving him to the hospital to see MaryAnne. I spent the morning at the hospital, then we drove back to the house, where I did some chores and took their black flat-coated retriever for a walk. We were waiting for one of their kids who had travelled a long distance to arrive before going back to the hospital, and I slipped away for an hour to go for a long swim at Westport Beach. It was what I needed to face the rest of the day which turned out to be the day MaryAnne died.

Over the years, writing has become an anchor for me. I’ve enjoyed sharing my thoughts on happiness on this blog, and now in retirement, I’m excited to tackle many new writing projects.

This week’s #HappyAct is to reflect on and be grateful for the anchors in your life. What are yours? Leave a comment.

Posted on in community, science of happiness, travel

Secrets to happiness from around the globe

Sign with definition of Gezellig

Every country has its own unique belief system and language to describe happiness. Let’s take a quick trip around the world to see how other cultures seek and find happiness:

Joyous Icelanders embrace theta reddast, the belief that everything will work out in the end.

Italians believe dolce far niente, the sweetness of doing nothing.

In France, people exude joie de vivre, the joy of living.

Chinese xing fu is the art of finding your purpose.

The Dutch celebrate Gezellig, time spent with loved ones in a convivial and cozy atmosphere.

Germans believe in ruhe, finding peace and quiet.

And then there are the Scandinavians–the Danes known for hygge, the art of creating comfort and coziness and the Finns who value sisu, having the psychological strength to overcome extraordinary challenges.

Some countries have embedded happiness into their political and economic systems. Bhutan measures Gross National Happiness instead of GDP based on four pillars: ecological sustainability, preservation and promotion of a free and resilient culture, good governance and equality before the law, and sustainable and equitable socio-economic development.

I think North Americans could learn much about happiness from these other cultures. The ones that resonated most with me were the sweetness of doing nothing, finding peace and quiet, and believing everything will work out in the end. Which ones resonated most with you?

If you’d like to learn more about happiness around the globe, read The Atlas of Happiness: The Global Secrets of How to be Happy by Helen Russell. The common denominator in all these cultures? The power of positivity goes a long way. Have a happy week.

Posted on in arts, entertainment, humour, pop culture

50 Years of Saturday Night Live

SNL cast members on screen for golf sketch

“Live from New York…it’s Saturday Night!”

This fall marks the 50th season of Saturday Night Live. “SNL” premiered on NBC on October 11, 1975 and is the most Emmy-nominated show in history with 101 Emmy wins.

Now, thanks to Showcase, you watch the replay of each week’s episode at 10 pm on Sunday nights.

SNL has always been a trailblazer, with irreverent humour mixed with searing, insightful political sketches. It has also been an incredible pipeline for new musical talent, including big names like Nirvana, Billie Eilish, and Lady Gaga.

Canadians have always had a soft spot for SNL, claiming Executive Producer Lorne Michaels, 79 as our own and showcasing Canadian comedic talent like Martin Short, Dan Aykroyd, Mike Meyers, Phil Hartman, and Norm Macdonald.

I got excited last this week, thinking their annual Thanksgiving special would be airing soon, only to remember I’d have to wait another month for it to air.

I watched the October 5th episode with host Nate Bargatze with musical guest Coldplay. The new cast is witty, diverse and very, very funny.

There was a hilarious skit of Maya Rudolph as Kamala Harris and Andy Samberg as Joe Biden watching and critiquing the recent Vice-Presidential debate. Rudolph is always bang on, but it was Samberg’s imitation of doddery Joe Biden that had me in stitches.

There was another spoof of golf commentators giving a play-by-play of a pro golfer who keeps killing wildlife, hitting a long drive and nailing a goose, and spearing a chipmunk with the flagpole on the green. I almost fell off the couch laughing.

My favourite segment featured Bargatze as George Washington and his soldiers in a boat crossing the Delaware in 1776 pontificating on what they were fighting for. It was silly, focusing on the absurdities of the English language but with biting commentary on important issues like racial inequality.

SNL will mark its 50th anniversary with a three-hour live primetime special on Sunday, February 16, 2025 starting at 8 pm on NBC.

This week’s #HappyAct is to catch some episodes of SNL this fall and set your PVRs for the primetime special in February. Here is a fun quick SNL quiz for you to test your knowledge:

1)Who was the first host of SNL in 1975?

a) Andy Kaufman
b) Paul Simon
c) George Carlin

2) Who has hosted SNL the most?

a) Buck Henry
b) Alec Baldwin
c) Tom Hanks

3) Which SNL cast member performed “The Chanukah song” in December 1974?

a) Al Franken
b) Jon Lovitz
c) Adam Sandler

4) Which cast member did a black inner city parody of Mister Roger’s Neighbourhood?

a) Eddie Murphy
b) Chris Rock
c) Garrett Morris

5) Which guest host proclaimed “I gotta have more cowbell” in the famous More Cowbell sketch?

a) Seth Meyers
b) Tom Cruise
c) Christopher Walken

Answer: 1c, 2b, 3c, 4a, 5c

Posted on in family, poetry, relationships, retirement

A message to my daughters

Author with her two daughters on a boardwalk

Years ago, when Grace and Clare were little, we used to take them to Great Wolf Lodge in Niagara Falls. It was the perfect overnight getaway. We’d spend two full days in the water park and leave exhausted, waterlogged, and smiling.

On one trip, I bought a picture of a mother bear and two cubs in the gift shop. From that day forward, the three of us became Mama Bear and the two cubs.

Now my two cubs have left the den. My house is quieter, cleaner and more peaceful, but I miss the laughter, kibitzing around the dinner table and talks.

I started a group chat for the three of us and had to smile when Grace renamed it “Mama Bear and the two cubs”. We’ve been sharing pictures of our days, news and updates, and messages.

It was National Daughters Day last week. I’d like to dedicate this week’s #HappyAct to my beautiful daughters, Grace and Clare by sharing this message from the inspirational Judi Dench as told by author Donna Ashworth.

A message to my daughters
“Don’t prioritise your looks my friend, as they won’t last the journey.
Your sense of humour though, will only get better with age.
Your intuition will grow and expand like a majestic cloak of wisdom.
Your ability to choose your battles, will be fine-tuned to perfection.
Your capacity for stillness, for living in the moment, will blossom.
Your desire to live each and every moment will transcend all other wants.
Your instinct for knowing what (and who) is worth your time, will grow and flourish like ivy on a castle wall.
Don’t prioritise your looks my friend,
they will change forevermore, that pursuit is one of much sadness and disappointment.
Prioritise the uniqueness that make you you, and the invisible magnet that draws in other like-minded souls to dance in your orbit.
These are the things which will only get better.”

Judi Dench

Grace and Clare in South Carolina
Grace and Clare beside a lake
Posted on in family, inspiration, relationships, Uncategorized

What I learned from your Mom

Audrey Tarasick

The world lost a beautiful soul this past week. My friend, Audrey Tarasick passed away at the age of 95.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Audrey and wanted to let her four children know how much she meant to me and how much I learned from her. This is what I wrote. Some of it is tongue-in-cheek, but I think Audrey would have liked that. I hope by sharing it, you may learn from Audrey too.

What I learned from your Mom

Always trust a mother’s instincts and intuition
Never be in a hurry if you don’t have to be
Mushrooms are fun, well fun-gi

The strength of a person’s character is not defined by their size
Or how loudly they speak
But by quiet authority, compassion, and caring

Be true to yourself
Forge your own path in life
Don’t worry about what other people think

Any time is a good time for a skinny dip
Listen to children—you can learn much from them
How to make a perfect pie crust

David Attenborough is hot
Scottish country dancing is not
Fairy gardens are weird

Don’t let others tell you what you are capable of or can or can’t do
Love sometimes doesn’t conquer all
The importance of family

A good cup of coffee or glass of wine can cure most ails
Don’t babysit your grandkids; spend time with them instead
How to know the exact moment to sugar off

A love for the rugged stone-cropped landscape of Eastern Ontario
Always make a wide berth around a goose
The art of the country wave

Take time to bathe in the moonlight
Bask in the sunlight (with a hat and sunscreen)
Lounge by the pool

Never stop laughing
Never stop smiling
Never stop

Live life with grace and kindness
Have no regrets
Love unconditionally

Notes and explanations

  • On Audrey’s pie crust: This is a fib. I actually never learned how to make the ultimate pie crust from Audrey and wish I had spent more time in the kitchen with her so I could have, but I enjoyed many, many of her pies
  • On David Attenborough: For the last four decades or more, Audrey lived on her own. I once asked her if she would ever remarry or what type of man might sweep her off her feet. A devout nature lover, she replied without hesitation “David Attenborough”.
  • A note on “fairy gardens are weird”. Audrey loved fairy gardens. At one point, her sunroom was filled with them. I admired her creativity and love for her whimsical creations but I always found them weird and a bit creepy (but that’s just me)!
  • On the art of the country wave: I lived with Audrey the first summer I moved to Eastern Ontario. She went to great lengths to describe the different types of waves when you live in the country. You can read them in my blog post, “A country mile”
  • If you want to learn Audrey’s technique to tell the exact moment to sugar off when making maple syrup, see “Tap into liquid gold”
  • If you’d like to read more about this remarkable woman, see “Spend time with someone older and wiser”
Audrey in her nephew's hot rod

In her nephew’s hot rod at her 95th birthday bash this summer

Five women standing on a dock

Girls’ weekend at the cottage with three generations

Posted on in environment, nature

Pretend you didn’t hear anything

Garter snake in a kayak

The other day, I went for a late afternoon kayak. It was one of those glorious September days when the sun feels warm on your skin, the air is still and there is just a hint of colour in the leaves.

I watched the baby loons (our loons had two babies this year) being fed fish by their mother and mewing for more and the seagulls floating in the breeze, and kept paddling through the two channels into the back lake.

As I was sitting basking in the afternoon sun, I started to hear a rustling sound come from behind me. I’ve heard this sound before when a snake stowed away in my kayak.

I decided to adopt the strategy of pretending I didn’t hear anything even though I was pretty sure at this point it wasn’t a solo kayak trip.

The strategy was working just fine until my snake friend decided to make an appearance and slither past me under my life jacket towards the front of the boat.

I like snakes and I’ve been around them enough to know that they won’t hurt you if you just leave them alone. This guy was a harmless garter snake, but he clearly was a little put out that he was trapped in a moving hollow tube with no means of escape.

I didn’t see him for a few minutes, so went back to pretending he wasn’t there, until he started gliding towards me head first with his little red tongue wagging at me. His green and black silk body brushed the side of my leg and just as I started to stiffen, wondering what he was going to do next, something spooked him and he ducked under my life jacket again.

I paddled faster.

The next time he came out he slithered even farther up my leg, right to the top of my thighs, until he was almost resting on my lap, his beady little eyes looking up at me as if to say “You better get me out of this boat or else”. This was a little too close for comfort for my liking, and as I was planning my next move, he slid over my leg towards the back of the kayak.

I didn’t see him again for the rest of the trip.

Sometimes the best strategy is to just pretend you didn’t hear anything.

And if that fails and reality slithers up your leg, stay calm, breathe deeply, and paddle like hell.

Snake slithering out of a kayak

My snake friend finally escapes to land, and below, happy in his regular home amongst the weeds, looking for frogs.

Snake in weeds beside a lake
Posted on in environment, nature, travel

Of caves and caverns

Sea caves in St. Martin's New Brunswick

On our travels through New Brunswick at the end of August, we stumbled across some sea caves in the small oceanside town of St. Martin’s.

We explored them at dusk at low tide, when you could walk on the ocean floor. The light was perfect, and we marvelled at these strange and mystical caves carved into the striking Fundy-red coastline with bright green lines marking where land meets the sea and topped with rugged trees reaching out towards the ocean.

Humans have been fascinated by caves since the beginning of time. For some cultures, caves are where deities or mythical creatures were believed to inhabit. In other cultures, caves are often depicted as entrances to other realms and represent both the depths of the unconscious mind and the mysteries of the unknown.

I’ve always been fascinated by caves. One of the most beautiful caves we visited was Luray Caverns in Virginia, an astonishing underground world. As you descend into the caverns, you enter cathedral-sized rooms with ceilings ten stories high, filled with towering natural stone statues and strange and beautiful geological formations like stalacites and stalagmites*.

Everything is different underground. The light reflects and dances against the patterns in the rock. The air is filled with moisture, and the smell of sulphur and musty dew assail your nasal passages. Sounds resonate and echo eerily as you get lost in the mystical properties of the magical underground world being discovered.

You don’t have to venture as far as Virginia or New Brunswick to explore caves and caverns. Here are two great options in eastern Ontario—both are still open until Thanksgiving weekend:

  • Bonnechere Caves in Eganville, Ontario: Dave and I toured these caves several years ago carved into the Bonnechere River. Today, you must take a guided tour, but they are well worth it with waterfalls and a cool bat cave (with literally, hundreds of bats—optional for the faint of heart!)
  • Tyendinaga Cavens and Caves: These caves are located outside of Belleville and are the largest caves in Ontario. You must take a guided tour to learn about how the caves were formed 450 million years old. One of the most unique features is an underground wishing well.

This week’s #HappyAct is to explore a cave or cavern. Happy spelunking!

*Stalacites grow down from the ceiling of a cave; stalagmites grow from the ground up

Author in front of sea caves
Sea cave
Luray Caverns, Virginia

Some more pictures of the sea caves in St. Martin’s and above, stalacites in Luray Caverns in Virginia

Posted on in money, science of happiness

The happiness number in 2024

Denzel Washington quote: "Money doesn't buy happiness. Some people say it's a heck of a down paymen though."

In 2010, Gallup published a study asking Americans what amount of income would make them happy. The answer was $75,000 (USD).

In a new study released this summer, Americans were asked what amount of money would make them feel content, as measured by their liquid net worth. 56% of Americans responded $200,000.

This amount would give them enough of a safety net, peace of mind, and presumably extra funds to pursue their interests and passions.

Millennial respondents said that they would be more content with a higher salary job, whereas Gen Z respondents preferred having a higher liquid net worth. The average salary in the United States at the end of 2023 was $59,384.

So what’s our takeaway here?

As families grapple with the higher cost of living, it’s getting harder and harder to maintain a financial cushion, and yet having that cushion helps alleviate stress, anxiety, and contributes to our overall happiness.

To maintain that cushion, we may need to change our spending habits. It’s more than about dollars and cents. It’s about happiness and common sense.

What’s your happiness number? Leave a comment.