I’m retiring this week. After working for the past two years for my local municipality, I’m hanging up my keyboard (well, at least my work keyboard) and making plans for a future that doesn’t involve paid work.
It’s exciting and daunting at the same time and I realize how lucky I am.
I’ve made some pledges to myself, and because I am a firm believer that if you write down your goals or say them out loud, you’re more likely to stick to them, I am sharing them with you here today. Here are my retirement pledges.
I pledge to…
Not feel guilty if I feel like doing nothing Embrace each day as a gift Spend more time in my garden and at my lake Get more exercise
Help my community Take advantage of all the events during the day on weekdays I couldn’t attend when I was working Never spend another minute in a meeting or on Zoom Spend more time with the people I love
Listen to more live music Spend less time on my phone Pursue my passion of writing Not worry about money
Go outside every day Visit friends who I haven’t seen in awhile and make some new ones Travel and embark on new adventures near and far Take better care of my health
This week’s #HappyAct is to make your own pledge, even if retirement is still a distant dream. What would you pledge to yourself?
There is a time every parent dreams about and longs for–the moment when your child becomes your friend.
In the early days, the dream is a distant mirage, obscured by dirty diapers, sippy cups, jolly jumpers and sleepless nights.
As the years go by, the dream becomes more tangible and in focus. Your children learn to walk and talk, and before you know it, you are watching them march their chubby little legs up the four or five steps of the school bus on their first day of school.
Years pass and you see their unique personalities and independent spirit emerge. They spread their wings until one day, in a heart-wrenching gut punch, you realize they don’t need you anymore.
But then something wonderful happens. You become friends.
Friends who enjoy spending time together, sharing confidences and conversation, laughter and tears. A friend who you know will always love you and who will be there for you no matter what.
The best type of friend possible.
It’s a beautiful thing.
Dedicated to my new best friends and lovely but whacky daughters Grace and Clare. Here are some pictures of all of us from this past weekend on a family trip to Cooperstown, New York with their boyfriends and my brother Don.
Top: tasting the local wares at Woodland Farm Brewery outside of Utica with their Uncle Don Above: At the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY
Devon holding a plaque that says “Remember as far as anyone knows, we’re a normal family”
Clare and Kaden in Little Falls, New York
All of us in front of the Baseball Hall of Fame. We’re already talking about where we’re planning to go next year.
This past week, Fortune magazine published an interview with Matthew Saxon, the Chief People Officer of Zoom on the pending one-year anniversary since Zoom mandated employees who live 50 miles or less from headquarters to return to the office a minimum of two days a week.
Saxon characterized the decision to mandate a “structured hybrid” work model in August 2023 a “success” that has led to efficiencies and creative solutions.
The Chief People Officer, who once promised workers could work remotely indefinitely, justified the abrupt about-face, saying the hybrid work model was better for productivity, corporate culture and their customers.
The article has created ripples in an already turbulent and tenuous relationship between workers and employers.
It seems to me that employers who are issuing return-to-office mandates want it both ways. When it is critical or convenient to let employees remotely, as was the case during the pandemic or when there are bricks and mortar changes, it’s okay for employees to work from home and they trust them to do their jobs and be productive. But the minute those reasons fade, they want employees back in the office.
It’s hypocritical and a bit of a slap in the face if you ask me (and in case you were wondering, Saxon works primarily remotely).
Some say it’s the beginning of the end of remote work. One thing is for sure, it’s the height of irony.
It was a beautiful night for a buskers rendezvous.
Last night, we went to Kingston to see the fire and night shows at the 34th annual Kingston Buskers Rendezvous.
Kingston is one of the best places to watch buskers, with its spectacular backdrop of city hall and the marina at Confederation Basin, the shops and patios of Princess Street and the historic buildings in Market Square lit up at night.
The girls were hungry (of course!) so we stopped first for a drink and a bite to eat at the Toucan on Princess Street and were pleasantly surprised to get a table on the patio right away without having to wait.
After fuelling up, we strolled down to Ontario Street and caught Steve GoodTime’s fire juggling show. He was very funny and had the crowd eating out of his hands.
One of the talents you need as a busker is being able to pick good-natured people out of the crowd to participate in the show. We spotted our friend Jenn and her daughter across the street from us in the crowd. Sure enough Steve GoodTime picked Jenn out of the 500 or so people watching the show. She danced for the crowd before holding his guitar and lighting his firesticks.
We wandered up to Market Square next. This year they billed the main Buskers After Dark show as “an immersive journey into the beating heart of urban creativity”. There was a DJ, graffiti artist, the North Fire Circus and a group called Dr. Draw and the Strange Parade who were incredible.
Dr. Draw played electric violin and had a terrific band complete with horns (even a tuba!) They played a fusion of musical genres from Irish, classical, pop and rock while North Fire Circus performed light and fire acts to the music. My favourite number was a slower version of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. Market Square was magical in that moment.
This week’s #HappyAct is to watch a busker. If you’re in the Kingston region, there’s still time to catch the Grand Finale of the Kingston Buskers Rendezvous tonight at 6 pm at Confederation Basin.
Photos: North Fire Circus and Dr. Draw and the Strange Parade perform in the beautiful historic Market Square at night. Above: Steve GoodTime juggles for the crowds on Ontario Street.Here’s our friend Jenn dancing for the crowd!
It’s always a lovely moment when you get to celebrate a special milestone in a person’s life. Whether it’s a graduation, wedding or retirement party, it’s an honour and privilege to share their special day and celebrate their achievements and accomplishments.
This past week we attended three celebrations, the retirement party of someone I had worked with for almost three decades, Clare’s high school graduation and a pre-prom gathering with some parents to take photos of our kids before they headed out for their big night on the town.
Each celebration left me smiling and feeling joyous. My friend Edward’s retirement was a gathering of old friends and co-workers. We were all so genuinely happy for Edward and it was wonderful to see so many friendly faces I hadn’t seen in some time.
My favourite part of retirement celebrations is always watching the reactions and expressions on the faces of the children of the person retiring as they realize their parent is more than just their dorky Mom or Dad, but an accomplished professional, beloved by their co-workers.
This wasn’t the case for Edward since three of his four kids actually worked at our company for a period of time, but it was still nice to see them all there honouring their Dad.
The next celebration was Thursday afternoon, when hundreds of proud parents gathered in our local high school auditorium to watch our kids receive their high school diplomas.
It was the 150th graduation ceremony of Sydenham High School, and while we knew parents and students had stood before us for the past 149 years, we still felt like our kids were the most special of all, having survived COVID, octomesters (ours was one of the few high schools during COVID where the students took one course, 6 hours a day), and more.
The third milestone was watching this same group of kids get ready for prom. The girls were stunning in their long dresses and up-dos, and the boys donned their best black suits. We all snapped photo after photo as they posed with their friends and boyfriends, without a care in the world, for one day at least, before heading out for the formal dinner and dance. If your heart could pound out of your chest with pride, it did yesterday for us parents.
This week’s #HappyAct is to cherish and celebrate the milestones in your life. There are a few more milestones ahead for our household this summer. Soon we’ll be empty nesters as Clare goes off to university this fall, and I’m retiring fully in August to join Dave.
When I travel, I’m always of two minds. A part of me wants to wander off the beaten path, far flung from the sites and attractions where hordes of tourists flock and diminish the experience.
The other part of me thinks there is a reason why a place is a mecca for tourists and I desperately want to see it.
I’ve learned to blend these two desires on my trips, visiting the “must see” attractions in the guide books and making sure I spend a bit of time exploring backroads.
A couple of weeks ago, my girlfriends and I spent a weekend in Niagara-on-the-Lake and Niagara Falls. On the Saturday, we stopped at Pillitteri Estates Winery for lunch, strolled along the main streets and parks of Niagara-on-the-Lake, saw My Fair Lady at the Shaw Festival and stayed at a lovely bed and breakfast, The Bushey House.
We were debating what to do on the Sunday and I said I’d be up for doing the “Behind the Falls Experience” at Niagara Falls, which I’d never done before.
After a quick stop for a chocolate factory tour at the Chocolate Factory Experience (highly recommended by the way, make sure you pick up their addictive Red Chocolate Cherry Bites), we arrived in Niagara Falls.
It was crawling with tourists. At first we thought it was just the regular throngs that descend on the falls on a Sunday afternoon in June, but we realized after seeing clusters of cyclists that it was the Scotiabank Ride to Conquer Cancer, so it was busier than usual.
We paid our $36 for parking (OMG) and walked across the bridge to the Behind the Falls Experience. While it was cool to get so up close to the falls, I’m not sure I’d include it on the must-see attractions in Niagara Falls.
The “behind the falls” experience consisted of looking at a small opening from a tunnel and a wall of water pouring over it. The observation deck was the real draw, where you could hear the roar of the falls and experience the spray and mist wash over you.
When we emerged from the tunnels, we spent the rest of the afternoon walking along the promenade.
Even though there were thousands of tourists, Niagara Falls never fails to disappoint. There is a reason why some people call it the “eighth wonder of the world”.
The skies that day were an ominous dark steel grey, in stark contrast to the blue swirling waters and white foam of the falls and river. I stood mesmerized, snapping photo after photo, admiring their majestic beauty and watching the cormorants and gulls bouncing and diving in the whirlpools as the tour boats steamed towards the wall of water.
It was worth braving the crowds for.
This week’s #HappyAct is to visit a well-known tourist attraction. You won’t be disappointed.
Beautiful daisies grace the gorge
I loved how the mist melded with the sky in this photo
For Father’s Day, we took Dave to Brighton Speedway to watch the school bus races.
The Brighton Speedway opened in 1967 and is still one of a handful of dirt track speedways in Canada, along with Brockville Speedway. Different classes of vehicles race on different nights. Last night it was four classes of modified Canadians race cars and of course, the big ticket, schoolbus races. It was a sold out crowd.
I’ve never been to a car race before so didn’t know what to expect. What we experienced was a night of mayhem, smash ‘em up excitement and “pay for your seat, only use the edge” thrills.
The first few races were six to eight small classes of modified Canadians. The cars lined up two by two, the starter waved the green flag and they were off. We estimated they were doing speeds of 80 miles an hour on the straights.
It was wild when they approached the corners. Unlike Nascar or Formula One races on pavement, on dirt tracks, drivers drift on the curves, so the car goes sideways, sometimes only on three wheels. It was crazy to watch.
During the qualifying rounds, one driver took the second turn too fast and did a double rollover right off the track.
For the modified Canadians feature race, 25 race cars lined up for a take-no prisoners finale. It was mayhem with the only breaks in the action happening when they the yellow caution flag was waved due to a disabled car on the track. One car caught fire, others spewed blue smoke from overtaxed engines and two cars became stuck after they rammed into each other. When they cut them loose, the crowd cheered.
Boys and girls waved checkered flags that lit up with lights, and Sasquatch the Jack Links jerky mascot, wandered through the crowd taking selfies with the fans.
After each final, they’d interview the driver. I liked that they always thanked the sponsors, since it’s an expensive sport and without the support of local businesses, most of these drivers wouldn’t be able to field a car. One guy in his remarks said, “Special thanks to my Mom for coming good for the new motor.”
The schoolbus races were insane. The buses were barely running old heaps of metal, some stripped bare of their seats, others with parts hanging off. Four or five conked out, narrowing the field to 16 for the ultimate finale.
There were times they took the corners three across with barely a foot between them. Our favourite was Bernie 66 who was fearless trying to pass, but who lost the race to a guy from Winnipeg who booked a week’s vacation just to fly to Brighton for the race.
Racing fans and drivers are diehard. Now I know why.
This week’s #HappyAct is to find a speedway near you and enjoy a night of mayhem. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!
If you want to see the school bus races, mark your calendars for Saturday October 5 for their special Eve of Destruction event.
They say the road to hell is paved with the best intentions. For almost a decade now, I’ve been blogging about happiness. I started this blog as an outlet for my writing and because I was fascinated by the juxtaposition of people living in a world with so much wealth, but struggling more than ever to be happy.
I’ve learned much about what makes me happy, the science of happiness and the intrinsic benefits of having purpose, showing gratitude and helping others.
I now fear instead of helping people live a happier life, I’ve contributed to the navel-gazing narcissistic culture our society has become.
Forget the #MeToo movement. We’re living in the age of #JustMe.
I know what you’re thinking. Every generation has claimed that the next generation is more selfish and self-absorbed than they were. Perhaps, but the advent of computers, cell phones, celebrity culture and the seismic shift in how we work and play in the past fifty years has propelled us into a whole new level of egocentricity.
Honestly, if I see another selfie of a 20-something posing sideways in front of a bathroom mirror holding up their cell phone with pouty lips, accentuated hips, and frosted tips, I think I’m going to lose it.
And don’t even get me started on the hyper-focus on resilience. Try telling a farmer living a hundred years ago in rural Canada with six mouths to feed and no running water you’re taking a break to “practice self-care” or going on a “forest therapy walk”, they’d mock you until their cows came home.
A sad and disturbing product of this #JustMe movement is we all have become more polarized in our views and unaccepting of other people’s opinions. What’s more, we don’t hesitate to share our views in the most public of forums. “We” are always right and everyone else is wrong.
It’s time we went from taking selfies to choosing selflessness, from practicing self-care to caring for others.
It was Ghandi who said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
This week’s #HappyAct is to change the #JustMe narrative and find happiness by looking outward instead of in.
Last week, during my regular lunchtime walk, I stopped at a little lending library outside one of the old beautiful limestone homes that grace this area.
I don’t always stop when I see little lending libraries, but sometimes I do. I looked inside and saw more than 50 packets of seeds in addition to the regular array of books.
I decided to help myself to some watermelon and malva seeds and found two books on my reading wish list: The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein and The Beautiful Mystery by Louise Penny.
Next week I’ll replenish my neighbour’s little lending library with a couple of books from my own bookcase I’ve read.
The origins of the original Little Free Library begain in 2009 when a Wisconsin fellow by the name of Todd Bol built a model of a one-room schoolhouse and put it on a post on his front yard and filled it with books with a sign, “Take a book, share a book” .
He built more, and soon it became a movement with others doing the same. According to littlefreelibrary.org, today there are more than 150,000 registered little free lending libraries in the world. There’s even a mobile app so you can find the one nearest you. In many communities, little lending food pantries have appeared, stocking canned goods or even fresh vegetables from people’s gardens.
The story of the little lending library that could is a tale of inspiration and hope. It embodies all that is good in a world where sometimes it’s hard to see the good: people helping others and their community through an action as small as sharing a book or a packet of seeds.
This week’s #HappyAct is to take a book or share a book. If you’re really ambitious and want to build your own, check out these 10 designs from familyhandyman.com.
Photos: I didn’t have my phone with me during my walk, but here’s a picture of a little lending library we visit in Clark’s Summit, Pennsylvania on our trips down south. Above: my treasures from my latest haul from my little lending library near my work.
Happy Act 