I once read the greatest thing you can do for your children is to give them roots and wings.
Roots where there is…
People who love them unconditionally
A shoulder to cry on
Food in the fridge
A hug to share
Doggies to cuddle with
Respite from the daily stresses of life
A sympathetic ear
…no matter how messy their room is
Wings to…
Venture out on their own
Race down mountains on skis
Swim across lakes
And win face-offs at centre ice
Set their own study and work schedules
Discover what they’re good at
Make their own decisions and mistakes
And tackle the world on their own terms
…even if it means worrying and sleepness nights
To my beautiful girls Grace and Clare, I’m so proud of you. It has been a privilege to watch you find your wings and soar. Know we’ll always be here for you.
This week, a part of Canada died. Gordon Lightfoot passed away at the age of 84.
A troubadour and master storyteller, his soothing voice and spellbinding lyrics captured the essence of life, love and everything Canadiana, making him one of our most beloved national artists of all time.
Here are songs and lyrics from my favourite Gordon Lightfoot songs of all time to add to your playlist, a tribute to the man and legend. Even now, as I read these lyrics and listen to the beautiful strains of his guitar, my eyes well up.
Song for a Winter’s Night
The lamp is burnin’ low upon my table top The snow is softly falling The air is still in the silence of my room I hear your voice softly calling
If I could only have you near To breathe a sigh or two I would be happy just to hold the hands I love On this winter night with you
Christian Island
I’m sailing down the summer wind I’ve got whiskers on my chin And I like the mood I’m in As I while away the time of day In the lee of Christian Island
Minstrel of the Dawn
The minstrel boy will understand He holds a promise in his hand He talks of better days ahead And by his words your fortunes read Listen to the pictures flow Across the room into your mind they go Listen to the strings They jangle and dangle While the old guitar rings
Canadian Railroad Trilogy
There was a time in this fair land when the railroad did not run When the wild majestic mountains stood alone against the sun Long before the white man and long before the wheel When the green dark forest was too silent to be real
The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings In the rooms of her ice-water mansion
Pussywillows Cattails
Pussywillows, cat-tails, soft winds and roses Rain pools in the woodland, water to my knees Shivering, quivering, the warm breath of spring
Don Quixote
Through the woodland, through the valley Comes a horseman wild and free Tilting at the windmills passing Who can the brave young horseman be
Beautiful
At times I just don’t know How you could be anything but beautiful I think that I was made for you And you were made for me
The Last Time I Saw Her Face
Her eyes were bathed in starlight And her hair hung long The last time she spoke to me, Her lips were like the scented flowers Inside a rain-drenched forest But that was so long ago That I can scarcely feel The way I felt before
Here’s a clip of Lightfoot performing That’s What You Get For Loving Me with Johnny Cash in 1969.
Sometimes you find inspiration in the least likely of places.
I often glance at the obituaries in my local newspaper. This morning, I was reading the obit from an accomplished doctor, Dr. Nicholas Evans. The caption under his photo read, “I have used my days well.”
He was Chief of Gastroenterology at The Toronto Western Hospital and a world leader in the research of the gut-brain interaction. What struck me the most was the majority of the column was devoted to his family and life outside of work. One paragraph in particular captured my attention.
His family wrote, “He shared his life-long belief in the ‘Joy/Crap’ ratio with generations of family, friends and colleagues in need of guidance. Everything in life can be distilled down to one simple question—does the crap outweigh the joy? If so, you have your answer, follow the joy, ditch the crap and change what you can to ensure the joy always outweighs the crap.”
So my friends, what is your crap/joy ratio? This week’s #HappyAct is to make one change to achieve a healthier ratio. Ditch the crap. Find the joy.
And if you need a smile, along the same vein of dealing with life’s crap:
My mother-in-law once said the biggest change she had seen in her lifetime was no one just sits anymore.
On my last sunny beach day in South Carolina a few weeks ago, I just sat on the beach and watched the world go by.
There were families who lugged their beach carts to the same spot they had the day before, filled to the brim with plastic sand shovels, coolers, colourful beach chairs and umbrellas. Before the adults could set up even one chair, the kids would grab the beach toys and run with glee towards the water and furiously start digging in the sand.
There were surf fisherman who sat close to shore, the water lapping up on their toes as their lines bounced in the white-flecked waves.
There were lots and lots of dogs, since it was a pet friendly beach. German shepherds, labs, a grizzled old golden retriever that lay beside its owners in a small patch of shade beside their chair, and breeds I never even knew existed like the German Elo (who was named Murphy, by the way, just like our old dog Murph).
There were osprey soaring in the brilliant blue skies, splashing into the surf to catch their lunch, then lifting slowly and wobbily, a fresh catch in their talons. There were pelican armies flying in formation patrolling the picturesque shoreline, and gulls, terns and sandpipers tiptoeing in the grainy sands.
And best of all there were dolphins. Spied first far, far out in the ocean. Their fins cresting out of the water in graceful intervals. Then closer to shore, coming near my two teenagers splashing in the waves. I try to yell at them to look, but they just wave back, oblivious of the magnificent creatures sharing the ocean’s expanse.
I couldn’t believe how many dolphins I spied that day. There were multiple pods, some playing in the waves, leaping in the white crests of the surf and blowing and chuffing as they came up for air. They must have known the weather was about to change and decided to enjoy their final day on the beach frolicking in the waves.
Yes, spending a day watching the world go by is a bit of a luxury in today’s world, but I highly recommend it…especially at the beach.
Ed. note: The photos below were all taken in the evening since I didn’t bring my phone to the beach during the dayso they don’t capture the images I’ve described above, but I hope you enjoy them anyway.
Are meetings the bane of your existence? Recently, Shopify introduced a new policy that cancels all recurring meetings with more than two people in an effort to give employees time back in their day so they can actually do work.
The company has instituted a six-hour window on Thursdays for large meetings, and they’re encouraging employees to decline other meetings, and remove themselves from large internal chat groups.
Meeting mania has been sweeping workplaces for years, and only became worse during the pandemic when Zoom became a verb that became synonymous with fatigue and eye strain.
In my old job, I probably spent anywhere from 3-4 hours a day in meetings, and my meeting schedule was considered light compared to most other managers.
In my new bridge retirement job, I have very few meetings. I just work. What a novel concept.
Here are some tips on how you can reduce the number of meetings in your work day and increase your job satisfaction:
Book shorter meeting times: try 15-minute touch bases or half-hour meetings instead of a full hour
List all the meetings where you’re just mainly listening in and not really participating. Chances are, you don’t need to be there. Decline and clear your schedule.
Have 5 or 6 items you need to ask your boss? Book one 15-minute touch base or save your questions up for a regular weekly meeting
Call or video chat people. This is an interesting one given nobody uses the phone anymore, and some people are reluctant to video chat you if you don’t have a time booked on your calendar, but often a quick 5-minute chat can get you the answers you need without another meeting filling up your calendar
Set an ideal work to meeting ratio, then stick to it. This will be highly role dependent. The ratio for a web developer for example may be 10:1 (so in a 40 hour work week, 36 hours of work to 4 hours of meeting) whereas for a Vice-President, it may be more like 4:6 (16 hours of work to 24 hours of meetings a week)
This week’s #HappyAct is to try working for a change, instead of meeting your life away.
The Toronto Star used to run a column on a neighbourhood tree. I’ve always loved trees, maybe that’s why I married a lumberjack.
By my count, I’ve either directly or indirectly had a hand or shovel in planting tens of thousands of trees in my lifetime.
As a summer student in the Forestry department at the City of Mississauga, we reforested city parks, my favourite being Saddington Park, a former landfill and now one of the prettiest parks in Mississauga with beautiful willows we planted swaying in the lake breezes.
My family has planted trees every spring and fall at Lemoine’s Point Conservation area as part of their annual tree planting program.
And for the past seven years or so, I’ve sold seedlings as a fundraiser for local non-profit organizations like the Sydenham Lake Canoe Club. I’m looking forward to seeing my regular clients again this spring and hearing where they planted their trees from last year, how big they’ve grown, and what their plans are for this year’s seedlings.
Some days when I’m feeling down about the effects of climate change and our inertia as a global community to address it, I think about the trees I’ve helped to plant and it makes me feel better.
So this week’s #HappyAct is a photo essay, a tribute if you will, to the trees of my life.
Above: Dave beside arbutus trees on the Sunshine Coast in British Columbia
The beautiful pine trees off my back deck
I always loved this pine tree at the 18th green at our local golf course in Verona. It came down in a storm a few years ago.
Magnolia trees in Chez Piggy courtyard, one of my favourite patios in Kingston
Tree canopy in Stamp River Provincial Park in Alberni, BC
Trees near the magic waterfall in the woods where I walk
Clare helping me sell trees as a fundraiser
Palm trees from the Carolinas, where we vacation every year
Trees I planted 30 years ago in Saddington Park, Mississauga
I’ve always believed that North Americans are workaholics. As a society, we allow work to rule our lives, from our waking hours to our sleeping thoughts (see my recent blog on sleep). In my heart, I’ve always felt more European when it comes to work.
In the past five years, I’ve been encouraged to see a growing trend of countries and businesses shifting to a four-day work week.
What’s interesting is in the UK and Europe, companies adopting a four-day work week are generally working less hours than before: between 30 to 32 hours a week.
In North America, not surprisingly, companies experimenting with a four-day work week in some cases are simply proposing to eke the same number of working hours out of employees, but in four days instead of five.
The four-day work week movement 4dayweek.co.uk says it is campaigning “for a four-day, 32-hour work week with no loss of pay which would benefit workers, employers, the economy, our society, and our environment”.
The UK recently published the results of one of the largest pilot studies on a four-day work week. About 2,900 employees across the UK took part in the pilot. Calling it a “major breakthrough”, 56 of the 61 companies extended the pilot and 18 companies made the arrangement permanent.
Of employees surveyed before and after the pilot, 39% said they were less stressed, 40% were sleeping better and 54% said it was easier to balance work and home responsibilities.
The number of sick days taken during the trial fell by about two-thirds and 57% fewer staff left the firms taking part compared with the same period a year earlier.
“The vast majority of companies reported that they were satisfied with productivity and business performance over the trial period.”
In Ontario, a growing number of rural municipalities are starting to transition to a four-day week. There are now seven municipalities offering employees the option of working a four-day week, the latest being Algonquin Highlands.
The executive director of the Ontario Municipal Administrators Association says it’s easier for rural municipalities to adopt a four-day work week because they are smaller, more nimble, and have more difficulty attracting and retaining talent, so it’s to their benefit to offer more flexibility in the workplace.
In Algonquin Highlands, one group of employees works Monday to Thursday, with another group working Tuesday to Friday. All employees worked an extra hour a day. It’s been a success. As Mayor Liz Danielsen says, “There’s nothing better than having happy staff.”
This week’s #HappyAct is to start the conversation in your workplace. Ask your leaders about a four-day work week.
If you imagine a ladder whose rungs are numbered zero to 10, and zero represents your worst possible life and 10 represents your best, which rung would you be on?
This is the question asked of people around the world every year for the World Happiness Report. Last year marked the tenth anniversary of the report which uses global survey data to report how people evaluate their happiness in more than 150 countries. The study researchers will reveal the results of the 2023 report at noon tomorrow, March 20, the International Day of Happiness.
What’s interesting is Finland has ranked #1 for the past five years in a row, followed by Denmark and Iceland in second and third place in last year’s report. Switzerland, Netherlands, Luxembourg, Sweden, Norway, Israel and New Zealand all ranked among the top 10 ‘happiest’ countries in the world. Canada ranked 15th and the US 16th.
I dug a little deeper to understand why Finns have ranked #1 for the past five years. I’ve never been to Finland, and have only had a few Finnish friends over the years.
Finns are not exactly known for their exuberance. There is a Finnish saying, ‘If you’re happy, you should hide it”. Their happiness manifests itself as more of a deep contentment, part of their hygge culture.
One thing the study illuminates, and is true in all the northern European nations who rank the happiest every year, is having access to the basics is a strong baseline for happiness.
In Finland, everyone has access to guaranteed health care, tuition-free school, a living wage, affordable housing, and free universal daycare from eight months until the start of formal education at age seven. It also doesn’t hurt that all Finns get five weeks of vacation every year.
But a key reason why Finland ranks #1 each year is their emphasis on family, friends, relationships and not on accumulating wealth or material possessions. They have their priorities straight.
This week’s #HappyAct is to watch for tomorrow’s report and ask yourself the question, which rung would you be on?
Ed note: If you’d like to read the full report, go to worldhappiness.report. I highly recommend taking 20 minutes to read a few of the sub-reports which are fascinating. For instance, in the report “Exploring the biological basis of happiness”, the researchers concluded that genetics does play a role in happiness. In fact, one study that tracked the lives of identical and fraternal twins found remarkably, that identical twins who were reared apart (100% genetically identical, no shared environmental influences or experiences) turned out to be more similar with respect to their well-being than fraternal twins who grew up together.
Another study on optimism during the pandemic found that while most participants experienced decreases in their optimism and meaning in life during COVID-19, for more than a third of the participants, their levels of optimism and meaning in life remained stable. Fascinating stuff.
A couple of years ago, Dave got a CPAP machine. When he sleeps, it sounds like the white noise through a stormtrooper’s mask. I keep hearing “Luke, I’m not your father” in my dreams. The good news is I don’t have to listen to him snoring anymore.
But the machine has helped him sleep which is a good thing.
You see the problem is, we’ve become a nation of insomniacs.
Experts from the Royal Ottawa Institute of Mental Health Research estimate that half the population in Canada now struggles with some sort of sleep-related problem. This week, we’ll all feel the pain of sleep deprivation thanks to the time change.
March 17 is World Sleep Day. While most Canadians will be focused on the luck ‘o the Irish and swilling back green beer, we’d have far more luck in life if we took steps towards better sleep health.
Sleep is one of the three pillars of good health, along with nutrition and exercise.
The guidelines recommend adults between the ages of 18-24 get 7 to 9 hours of good-quality sleep a night and 7 to 8 hours for adults aged 65 and older.
The worst part is we all know the drill on what we should be doing to get a good night’s sleep: go to bed at the same time every night, limit alcohol, caffeine consumption and screen time before bedtime, get plenty of exercise so we’re naturally tired. So why are so many of us up at night and exhausted all the time?
A century ago, we were a far more active society. There were also no screens in the early twentieth century. You don’t need a research study to confirm the obvious: sleep disorders have burgeoned with the use of electronic devices.
Just as modern devices are hindering our ability to sleep, some devices are helping our ability to sleep. It seems every Tom, Dave and Harry these days has a CPAP machine (I say Tom, Dave and Harry because sleep apnea is overwhelmingly diagnosed more in males).
CPAP machines actually have only been around for 40 years and came about thanks to man’s best friend.
In 1980, Dr. Colin Sullivan noticed his dog was having breathing issues. He used a vacuum cleaner motor and hose contraption attached to his dog’s snout to increase the airway and breathing for his pooch when it was sleeping. Sullivan later did research at the University of Toronto on SIDS, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, surmising the cause of death of infants was related to interrupted breathing.
CPAP machines have become a life saving device, so I’ve resigned myself to sleeping on the dark side of the bed, one with the force beside the man behind a mask.
This week’s #HappyAct is to take care of your sleep health. Just be careful not to choke on your aspirations.*
Happy Act 