Category: ageing

Posted on in ageing, community, health and wellness, lifestyle, mental health, relationships, retirement

Battling the epidemic of loneliness

man wearing pink flamingo glasses

There is an epidemic sweeping our country—the epidemic of loneliness.

In our grandparents’ day, the average detached home in Canada had six people in it. For my generation, it was four people. Today it’s 2.1. One of the fastest growing sub-segments in the housing industry today is single homeowners in their 20s. For the first time in modern history, we also have an entire generation of seniors living alone in isolation.

The two age brackets most at risk of being lonely are youth and seniors. According to Statistics Canada’s Canadian Social Survey: Loneliness in Canada, more than 1 in 10 people aged 15 or older say they “always or often” feel lonely. A 2024 study of seniors estimated between 19-24% of Canadians over the age of 65 feel isolated from others and wished they could participate in social activities in their community.

The impacts of loneliness in seniors especially are well known. In addition to depression, emotional distress, and dementia, loneliness can result in increased risks of chronic illness and falls, poor general health and premature death.

Humans were not meant to live alone. We were meant to live in tribes.

So what can we do to battle the epidemic of loneliness? Here are some words of advice people shared in a recent Quora post:

“Have a pet and walk them every day. You’ll meet people on your walks”

“Join a club or activity…check out the nearest seniors centre for programs services” (I’ve really enjoyed the activities I participate in at the Seniors Association of Kingston and have found my tribe there)

“Volunteer”

“Find people you can text every day”

 “Check out the website meetup.com for a list of groups and activities that may appeal to you” (I looked to see what was listed for my area of Kingston, Ontario and there was everything from guided hikes, to toastmasters groups, to meditation and church groups)

“Nobody is going to come to you. Go out and find a church family, join a gym, go for walks, talk to your neighbours. Don’t spend your senior years being sad. Enjoy every day you have left. If you lived near me I would be your friend.”

“Every time you find yourself thinking about your own loneliness and state, think about someone in the world you can help. A neighbour who needs help, bake some cookies, whatever”

“To have a friend you need to be a friend.”

“I remember this documentary on finding happiness. The director at the beginning of the film said he would sum up the secret of happiness with one 4 letter word. I assumed it would be “love” but was surprised when he said it was risk. It’s all about taking calculated risks and steps to make opportunities happen for yourself and it will pay off. Good luck your future happiness is within you.”

This week’s #HappyAct is to do something to battle the epidemic of loneliness. Reach out to a friend, join a group, visit a senior who lives alone. It’s all about caring and sharing—more on that next week!

Coming up…March 20 is World Happiness Day. This year’s theme is Caring and Sharing. Be sure to check back next week when I dive into the results of the 2025 Report on World Happiness.

Photo: One of my favourite photos of Dave’s Dad who is living proof a youthful heart and spirit will always keep you young at heart and happy. He texts his friends and family every day.

Posted on in ageing, community, Food and drink, Historical, relationships, travel

A stranger walks into a bar

Two people sitting in a bar

I made a new friend last night. His name was Alan.

Alan was sitting alone reading the Globe and Mail and sipping a pint of Stella when Dave and I wandered into the Toucan pub in Kingston last night, killing time between two movies at the Kingston Canadian Film Festival.

We got to talking, as strangers are wont to do in a bar, the conversation starting with Trump and the situation in the US, then veering into Alan’s fascinating life.

A son of a diplomat, Alan spent his childhood living around the world in countries like Afghanistan, Pakistan, the Belgian Congo, Lebanon, Portugal, Spain, and Sweden. He shared one story from the time when he was a boy in Pakistan of one of the British dignitaries’ wives separating the children into teams of colonials versus locals for games at a British garden party.

When he graduated from university, he became a land technician with the Ministry of Natural Resources, a job he said he absolutely adored. One project he led was researching all the treaties to create Petroglyphs Provincial Park in Peterborough. He shared how for thousands of years, the various Indigenous peoples of that region took turns scraping the moss from the Teaching Rocks, passing down the teachings from generation to generation.

When I had jokingly said we’d be better off if women were in leadership positions around the world when we were talking about Trump, he smiled and leaned in and talked more about the belief of Indigenous Peoples in Gitche Manitou, the “goddess of supreme being” and how women in Indigenous cultures were tasked with the most important role, taking care of the home and children.

After his time with the MNR, Alan founded his own communications company and started doing documentary work. He travelled to the Congo in 1995 to document the outbreak of Ebola. The stories he shared were fascinating. He said both the US and Russian armies were present, but not to help the dying and suffering. They were there to see if they could weaponize the virus. That never made it into the film.

Over the course of a few hours and pints, we talked about fishing, travelling, our children, the Montreal Canadiens, Canada-US relations and how lonely it can be living alone.

As we paid our bill and gathered up our coats to head out into the chilly February night, I gave Alan a big hug and said I hope we meet again. Two barflys, no longer strangers, now friends after sharing a special bond in a bar.

This week’s #HappyAct is to wander into a bar and make a new friend. Here are a few bar jokes to leave you smiling:

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, “I’ll have a pint of blood.”
The second one says, “I’ll have one, too.”
The third one says, “I’ll have a pint of plasma.”
The bartender says, “So, that’ll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?”

A bartender says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”
A time traveler walks into a bar.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon, his spurs clinking as he walks, his six-shooter slapping at his furry hip. He bellies up to the bar, stares down the bartender, and proclaims, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

Posted on in ageing, inspiration, lifestyle, retirement

The art of pushing

Woman skating on a frozen lake

As humans, we are constantly in a state of internal conflict. Indulge (and then usually feel guilty about it) or abstain, get up and move or laze on the couch, push ourselves outside our comfort zone or stay within the confines and comfort of routine.

It is an art and balance we need to master in order to be happy.

With age comes a new wrinkle in this ever-changing struggle of understanding and respecting your physical limitations.

As I’ve aged, I’ve tried to navigate the art of pushing by deciding what is important to me, and what I enjoy doing with realistic expectations of what I’m capable of doing.

I’ve never been one of those extreme sports enthusiasts or had any desire to push myself to the limit, whether its running, car racing or facing the wilds. For me, it’s not about iron mans, marathons or the Canadian Death Race (yes, it’s an actual ultramarathon held in Alberta each year in the Rockies where a very small field of 1,000 certifiably insane racers run non-stop for 24 hours through the mountains, sponsored by sinistersports.ca—the name itself should send you running and screaming in the opposite direction.)

My idea of a fun afternoon is skating and ice fishing on my lake, followed by a nice glass of Merlot in front of my woodstove while watching the Bills hopefully beat the Chiefs tonight.

The art of pushing for me is forcing myself to continue to do the things I love to do and not kill myself.

Now, when we go on an interior canoe trip to Algonquin Park, we plan a route that doesn’t involve portaging or we might rent an outpost cabin.

I still love to hike, play hockey and skate on lakes, but my days of doing pirouettes, lunges, or racing like crazy to beat the neighbours’ kids to the puck are over.

I will continue to push myself to experience new things, new places and meet new people even if it feels awkward at first.

Martin Luther King said, “Keep pushing forward, even when the path is uncertain, for greatness awaits those who persist”.

Well, if not greatness, hopefully a nice glass of Merlot.