How happiness changes with age

Woman standing on a rocky shore

Somebody asked me an interesting question the other day. Does happiness change with age?

According to research, happiness does change with age. As children, we begin life happy, but around the time we become adults, happiness declines, reaching a low point in our 40s. After age 50, happiness begins to rise again.

This “U-shaped curve of happiness” was the findings of a landmark study conducted in 2008 by a UK economist and researcher, Andrew Oswald. The study interviewed half a million people in 72 countries.

There was another large study conducted by psychologists at the University of California that followed 2,800 people for 23 years charting their emotional well-being. The results released in 2001 found that the older people got, the happier they were.

It’s not surprising that children are happy, or that happiness declines in mid-life as the responsibility and stress of finding a job, raising a family, paying bills, and career demands weigh on people.

What is surprising perhaps, is that happiness increases after the age of 50, despite the fact that older people often face physical hardships and challenges. There are many theories as to why happiness increases with age.

Some researchers and studies chalk it up to positivity bias. As we age, our memories become rose-coloured—we remember the happier aspects of life. There is an interesting study of 300 nuns who were interviewed in 1987 and then asked the same questions again in 2001. The oldest nuns had more positive memories the second time they were interviewed compared to the first time.

Other studies have shown that the physical changes that happen to the brain as we age also contribute to positivity bias.  

Another theory is that older adults are more satisfied with their lives because they simply want to enjoy life and they are at a stage in their life when they can finally do so. They have less stress than they had in their 20s, 30s and 40s. Older adults also tend to be less critical of themselves and focus more on doing things that make them feel good rather than trying to get ahead, or acquire knowledge or things.

While all of these theories and studies are interesting, I believe it is something more fundamental. As we age, our definition of happiness, and what makes us happy changes. We stop chasing hedonistic pleasures and start seeking a quieter happiness, filled with peace, purpose, and connection.

How has happiness changed for you as you’ve aged? Leave a comment.

Photo: This is a picture of me on a very happy day doing what I love and finding peace on a hike in Newfoundland.

The art of pushing

Woman skating on a frozen lake

As humans, we are constantly in a state of internal conflict. Indulge (and then usually feel guilty about it) or abstain, get up and move or laze on the couch, push ourselves outside our comfort zone or stay within the confines and comfort of routine.

It is an art and balance we need to master in order to be happy.

With age comes a new wrinkle in this ever-changing struggle of understanding and respecting your physical limitations.

As I’ve aged, I’ve tried to navigate the art of pushing by deciding what is important to me, and what I enjoy doing with realistic expectations of what I’m capable of doing.

I’ve never been one of those extreme sports enthusiasts or had any desire to push myself to the limit, whether its running, car racing or facing the wilds. For me, it’s not about iron mans, marathons or the Canadian Death Race (yes, it’s an actual ultramarathon held in Alberta each year in the Rockies where a very small field of 1,000 certifiably insane racers run non-stop for 24 hours through the mountains, sponsored by sinistersports.ca—the name itself should send you running and screaming in the opposite direction.)

My idea of a fun afternoon is skating and ice fishing on my lake, followed by a nice glass of Merlot in front of my woodstove while watching the Bills hopefully beat the Chiefs tonight.

The art of pushing for me is forcing myself to continue to do the things I love to do and not kill myself.

Now, when we go on an interior canoe trip to Algonquin Park, we plan a route that doesn’t involve portaging or we might rent an outpost cabin.

I still love to hike, play hockey and skate on lakes, but my days of doing pirouettes, lunges, or racing like crazy to beat the neighbours’ kids to the puck are over.

I will continue to push myself to experience new things, new places and meet new people even if it feels awkward at first.

Martin Luther King said, “Keep pushing forward, even when the path is uncertain, for greatness awaits those who persist”.

Well, if not greatness, hopefully a nice glass of Merlot.

Let your freak flag fly

Every once in awhile, you read an article and you think, I love this person. That’s how I felt when I read, “Iris Apfel Doesn’t Do Normcore” in the New York Times this week.

I’d never heard of Iris Apfel before, but I’m going to go on record to say she must be the coolest 93-year old on the planet.

Let me rewind to a side conversation that happened Friday morning. A co-worker came into my office with a new, funky shirt on. We said how much we liked it, even though she started by saying it was different, almost apologizing. I was wearing one of my favourite Aztec sweaters. Every time I wear this sweater or one of my ponchos, someone (usually Dave, since that’s what husbands are for) makes a joke about me being Pocahontas or something.

Then at lunch I read about Iris Apfel. Iris has been a mainstay of the New York fashion scene for decades and is the subject of a new documentary. Here are some “Irisicsms” from the article.

“I think, given a choice, it’s better to be unstylish but happy.” “

I love clutter. I think being totally minimal shows a lack of history and soul, and I find it sort of pitiful. I think it’s wonderful to have stuff and live with memories and things you enjoy.”

“There’s no free lunch, baby. You have to give up something to get something else, but that’s a very small price.”

This week’s #HappyAct is to read the article for inspiration, then let your freak flag fly. Be you, wear what makes you happy and be fearless.

Post script: I loved this article because it drew on so many of my blog posts over the past year. See these happy acts for bonus inspiration…

Watch Iris’ movie trailer…

Age is just a letter

This week is my birthday, and let’s just say it has a zero in it. I’m OK with that, because to quote my favourite line from Dumb and Dumber To, “Age is just a letter, Harry”.

I remember once my father-in-law telling me that despite being in his 80’s now and feeling all that the number 80 entails, in his mind he was still 17, looking for the next adventure and ripping it up with his buddies in Harriston.

We may age in our bones, but not in our hearts and minds.

This week’s #HappyAct is to repeat after me, “Age is just a letter, Harry.” You are never too old or too young to try something new, do something silly, learn, grow, love, fail or set out on your next adventure.

Here are some of my other favourite lines from Dumb and Dumber To—watch it on video when it comes out. While I know some critics panned it, I thought it was hilarious and even funnier than the first one!

“Water under the fridge”

Hook, line and sphincter”

“I’ve always wanted to go to India and volunteer at one of those leprechaun colonies,” “I think you mean Ireland.”

Spend time with someone older and wiser

Our family and Audrey
Celebrating with Audrey

Yesterday we celebrated the 85th birthday of someone who holds a special place in many hearts, Audrey Tarasick.

I first met Audrey in 1979 when her daughter Leslie and I became inseparable as teenagers. Audrey lived on a farm north of Kingston where she had moved on her own to set up an alternative school. Fiercely independent, with a zest for adventure and life, yet soft-spoken, patient and loving, Audrey quickly became a unique role model in my life.

She was one of the only women I knew who was an expert woodworker and who converted the entire front section of her house into a workshop to make dollhouses. She was the first to say, “go for it” on hot summer days when she would take us to Eagle Lake for a swim even though we didn’t have our bathing suits.

She has taught us the precise time to sugar off, when the syrup drips deliciously from the ladle to form a silver dollar at maple syrup time. She has steadfastly refused over the years to “babysit” her grandchildren, opting to spend time with them instead, and as a result has close relationships with the 15 grandchildren who love her dearly today. She has taught me about parenting, and has been there for Dave and me during some of the most difficult times in our life.

I have learned so much from this incredible woman. But the thing I appreciate most about Audrey is her different viewpoint on life. Whether it’s global warming, parenting, politics or rural living, Audrey always has a unique and insightful perspective. There’s been many a time in the family kitchen during a heated discussion, I find myself wondering, “I wonder what Audrey is going to say.”

This week’s #HappyAct is to spend time with someone older and wiser than you. Listen to what pearls of wisdom they may share. Here was my favourite from yesterday. Audrey was shooting hoops in the basketball competition, and I teased her that she was grunting like the tennis pros. She said to me, “As you get older, everything is easier if you grunt”. Happy birthday, Audrey. Thanks for being such a wonderful friend and role model.

Audrey shooting a bow and arrow
Audrey trying her hand in the archery competition

 

Women having tea in a team room
Special girls outing to Spindletree gardens earlier this summer, three generations of two families celebrating together