Category: charitable

Posted on in arts, charitable, community, Food and drink, holidays

Score a free meal

My husband and I enjoying a free lunch at Grace Hall in Sydenham

Don’t let anyone tell you there’s no such thing as a free lunch.

This past month, I’ve enjoyed four free lunches, making me an official pensioner. I come by it honestly. The Swinton family motto after all is, “You can call me anything you want, just don’t call me late for dinner.”

My first free lunch was the annual Celebration of Friends of Empire Life retirees and 25-year employees. It was a wonderful afternoon of catching up with old friends and colleagues at the Kingston Marriott. Three hours flew by, and I realized I didn’t get a chance to talk to even half the people that were there.

My second free lunch was a thank you from my dear friend Pamela who is turning 92 this month. I drive Pamela to writing class every other Friday and she suggested we have lunch before class at Hattie’s Cove, the Senior’s Centre restaurant. They offer a free lunch to members each month celebrating a birthday.

My last two free lunches were volunteer appreciation luncheons hosted by South Frontenac Township and Southern Frontenac Community Services where Dave and I volunteered this summer in their garden. They were catered by Rampart Kitchens, a wonderful local caterer and we enjoyed eating the delicious Greek-themed meals, chatting with other volunteers in our community and listening to live music at the Grace Centre.

So, the next time someone tells you there’s no such thing as a free lunch, follow the Swinton rule.

The holiday season and New Year always provide ample opportunities to snag free nosh. Shop at stores that offer free hot chocolate and snacks, attend a dinner or craft night at your local church, or watch for invitations to a New Year’s Levee in your community. Many service groups or churches also offer a free Christmas or holiday meal at this time of year. Happy munching!

Note: While this post is meant to be tongue in cheek and a thank you for my free lunches this past month, food insecurity is a growing issue in many communities. Food Banks are in desperate need of donations, so if you are able to give, please give to your local food bank this holiday season. And if you live in South Frontenac, the Verona Lions host a free Christmas dinner every year on December 25 at noon at the Verona Lions Hall. They ask you register on their website so they have an idea of numbers.

Craig Jones and friends playing music at the Grace Hall in Sydenham
Posted on in arts, charitable, global relations, Historical, inspiration, photography

Golden Happiness: the story of the napalm girl

Photo, The Terror of War taken on March 8, 1972 of the Napalm girl Kim Phuc

On March 8, 1972, a moment caught in time changed the world. It was the photo of 9-year old Kim Phuc, running naked on a road after being severely burned by a napalm attack in the Vietnamese War. The photo, later named “The Terror of War”, would go on to win a Pulitzer Prize and sway the shifting sands of sentiment against the war in Vietnam.

I was very fortunate last week to meet Kim and hear her speak about the day her village was bombed, the famous photo and how it impacted her life, and her path to faith, forgiveness and finding peace in her heart and happiness as a wife, mother and through her work as a UNESCO Global Ambassador for Peace.

Kim, whose name means Golden Happiness in Vietnamese was just nine years old when the Viet Cong invaded her village. The villagers, especially the children, were sent to a nearby temple where they would be safe. When the four bombs hit her village, she ran. The searing heat from the napalm at 1200 degrees Celsius burned the clothes off her body and much of her skin.

Presumed dead, her body was taken to the morgue where she lay motionless, in agony for three days before her parents found her and moved her to a hospital. She was transferred to a burn hospital where she spent the next 14 months.

Ten years later, Kim was studying to be a doctor when the South Vietnamese government had her dismissed from medical school. They wanted her to be a national symbol and puppet spokesperson, but as Kim puts it, she did not want to give them the power over her story and refused to comply. She was sent to Cuba for the next six years, where she met her husband, a North Korean.

Returning from their honeymoon in Moscow, Kim knew one of her only chances for freedom was to defect. When their plane stopped in Gander, Newfoundland for an hour layover and to refuel, she knew what she had to do. She and her husband got off the plane and sought political asylum in Canada.

For many years, the emotional and physical scars of her ordeal (she has undergone 17 surgeries over the years) filled her heart with hatred. But she realized she had two choices, to change her heart, or die from hatred. She said it took years to find peace and forgive her enemies.

She told one story of going to Washington in 1996 and visiting the Vietnam War Memorial. It was a large public event and she was asked to speak. Many Vietnam vets were attending, including the soldier who planned the attack on her village (the pilot who dropped the bombs was actually Vietnamese).

This soldier, named John, came forward and said he had never forgiven himself for the past 24 years for what he did to her and her village. She hugged him, and realized for the first time she was not the only one who suffered that day. They remain close friends to this day.

Kim’s message is still relevant in today’s troubled world: peace, love and forgiveness will always be more powerful than hatred.

I was struck by how beautiful, inside and out Kim was. She radiated peace, goodness, and loved to laugh. Her favourite saying was “No way, Jose!” and she said “eh?” several times, declaring herself a true Canadian.

In 1997, she founded the Kim Foundation International, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping child victims of war. She still lives in Ajax, Ontario with her husband, and has three children and several grandchildren.

She also shared her secrets for living a happy, successful life:

Free your heart from hatred
Free your mind from worry
Live simple
Give more
Expect less

This week is Remembrance Day. As we honour the men and women who sacrificed their lives for our country, and the victims of war, remember the words of the napalm girl, that peace, love and forgiveness will always be more powerful than hatred.

Me and Kim Phuc Phan Thi, the Napalm girl
Posted on in charitable, community, retirement, work

Learn when to say yes and no

Volunteers working voluntary road toll

One of the greatest skills you can learn in life is when to say yes and when to say no.

This applies to parenting, volunteering, work, relationships, and the list goes on.

Some career coaches would advise you to always lean in and say yes when tapped on the shoulder to take on a new role or responsibilities at work. Not at the cost of your happiness.

There were at least three times in my career when I was offered a different role not in my chosen field of communications that would have given me broader management experience where I said no. Would I have advanced further in my career? Probably. But I know for a fact I would have been miserable and to this day I’m grateful I made the right decision for me and for my family to be happy.

I’m now a retiree and one of my retirement pledges was to help my community more. I’m still navigating what this looks like. I’ve started volunteering at the community garden once a week that supplies our local food bank and Meals on Wheels programs, just finished my annual seedling fundraiser for the Sydenham Lake Canoe Club, and worked a shift for the Verona Lions for their annual Victoria Day voluntary road toll. I was very happy to say yes to all of these volunteer jobs.

I also have greater clarity on what I’ll say no to. I refuse to do another garage sale—they are just too much work (ironically, Dave volunteered at one yesterday morning), and true to my retirement pledges, I’ll never sign up for something where I have to be on Zoom or in meetings a lot. Been there, done that.

Some people say yes to everything. They are the heroes and backbones of every workplace and community. I admire these people, but I am not one of them.

Here’s the wonderful thing about saying yes. When you say yes to the things you enjoy, you feel good about your contributions and are far more confident and unapologetic about saying no to the things that won’t bring you joy.

Sometimes it all comes down to timing. There are periods in our lives when you want to do more, but you just can’t. You have enough on your plate. During those times, it’s okay to say no. The day will come when you can say yes again.

This week’s #HappyAct is to learn when to say yes and when to say no. And whatever your answer is, always prioritize your happiness or the happiness of your family in the decision.

Pictured above: My neighbour Odin and I working the Verona Lions road toll. All the money raised goes back into the community. Learn more about volunteering with the Verona Lions. Below: volunteers at the Grace Centre garden with the garden coordinator Josey Cadieux (Dave was whipper snipping and didn’t want to be in the picture). See this article in the Frontenac News for more on the garden.

Garden volunteers standing beneath an arbour
Posted on in charitable, community

#HappyAct the NextGen

Girl driving Ontario Parks boat

As a parent, all you really want is for your kids to be happy. Helping my kids find happiness was one of the reasons I started this blog, but I quickly realized I couldn’t help them be happy, they had to chart their own path in finding joy and happiness in their lives.

So my heart soared when we received a phone call from Grace last week. She was in the Starbucks drive-through and saw a police car pull up behind her. She decided to pay it forward and buy the police officers a coffee.

They pulled up beside her and rolled down their windows to thank her, saying it was so nice (and sadly rare) when members of the community expressed their appreciation for what they did. Since Grace is a Park Warden with Ontario Parks and often works with the OPP on incidents, she has immense respect for police officers.

It made my day to hear the happiness in Grace’s voice as she related how good it felt to do this one small act of kindness that made such a big difference in the day of these police officers.

And it made me smile to think, maybe, just maybe, the Nextgen of #HappyActs is alive and well.

Posted on in arts, charitable, community, money

The little lending library that could

Me and Clare beside a little lending library in Pennsylvania

Last week, during my regular lunchtime walk, I stopped at a little lending library outside one of the old beautiful limestone homes that grace this area.

I don’t always stop when I see little lending libraries, but sometimes I do. I looked inside and saw more than 50 packets of seeds in addition to the regular array of books.

I decided to help myself to some watermelon and malva seeds and found two books on my reading wish list: The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein and The Beautiful Mystery by Louise Penny.

Next week I’ll replenish my neighbour’s little lending library with a couple of books from my own bookcase I’ve read.

The origins of the original Little Free Library begain in 2009 when a Wisconsin fellow by the name of Todd Bol built a model of a one-room schoolhouse and put it on a post on his front yard and filled it with books with a sign, “Take a book, share a book” .

He built more, and soon it became a movement with others doing the same. According to littlefreelibrary.org, today there are more than 150,000 registered little free lending libraries in the world. There’s even a mobile app so you can find the one nearest you. In many communities, little lending food pantries have appeared, stocking canned goods or even fresh vegetables from people’s gardens.

The story of the little lending library that could is a tale of inspiration and hope. It embodies all that is good in a world where sometimes it’s hard to see the good: people helping others and their community through an action as small as sharing a book or a packet of seeds.

This week’s #HappyAct is to take a book or share a book. If you’re really ambitious and want to build your own, check out these 10 designs from familyhandyman.com.

two books and two seed packets

Photos: I didn’t have my phone with me during my walk, but here’s a picture of a little lending library we visit in Clark’s Summit, Pennsylvania on our trips down south. Above: my treasures from my latest haul from my little lending library near my work.

Posted on in charitable, community, entertainment, pop culture

Drag yourself to a drag show

drag queens on stage

When I grow up, I want to be a drag queen.

Last weekend, my friend Barbara and I went to the Clark’s Drag Show at the Thornbury Craft Company. It was part of Collingwood’s Pride celebrations which they hold in July instead of June presumably because that’s when the town is hopping with cottagers and summer visitors.

It had been more than 30 years since I had been to a drag show. The last time I had seen drag queens on stage was at a bar on the island of Mykonos in Greece when I was in my 20s.

It was such a fun afternoon! The three queens Katinka Kature, Heaven Lee Hytes, and Mira Fantasy strutted their stuff in their sequined outfits, leotards and stunning wigs, hamming it up for the crowd to their favourite pop tunes. There was a bachelorette party on the patio, and everyone was singing along, dancing in their seats as we sipped on our ciders and stuffed tips down their tops.

As I watched the queens perform, it struck me that to be able to assume an exciting, alter-ego would be so incredibly fun and liberating. It made me wish I was a man who could dress up as a woman. Since I can’t sing a note, this would be the perfect performing outlet for me!

drag queen performing

It also made me wonder why we just can’t accept people for who they are and appreciate them. I must confess I don’t understand and am saddened by the latest wave of 2SLGBTQ+ violence happening in some communities. Humanity is not defined by what we wear, the colour of our skin or our sexual orientation. It is defined by how we act, kindness, acceptance, and love.

As the queens performed their big finale, we raised our glasses in cheers. Portions from each flight were donated to Collingwood Pride.

Here are some fun pictures of the afternoon. If you’re interested in catching a drag show, The Hayloft Dance Hall in Prince Edward County holds drag shows on Saturday nights during the summer months.

man putting money down the top of a drag queen
Man and drag queen
drag queen
drag queen performing
Posted on in charitable, community, dogs

The Dog Days of Summer

Frontenac Farmers Dogs Instagram feed

A few weeks ago, I was rummaging through some of Clare’s castoffs and found an unopened 2023 Dog Trivia Daily Desk Calendar.

I took it to work and have been catching up on my dog trivia ever since. Here are some fun facts to make you smile during the Dog Days of Summer:

  • Dogs sleep between 12-14 hours a day
  • Elvis Presley sang his song “Hound Dog” to a top-hat wearing basset hound on a July 1956 episode of The Steve Allen Show
  • According to a 2017 study from the Journal of Nature, dogs make dramatic facial expressions and “puppy eyes” when they know humans are watching them
  • Hamilton composer Lin Manuel Miranda was inspired to write the ballad “Dear Theodosia” after adopting Tobilio, a stray puppy in 2011 (note you can catch the Toronto production of Hamilton on stage now)
  • Julius Caeser described mastiffs in his account of the Roman invasion of Britain in 55 BC
  • The Scottish terrier has been one of the Monopoly tokens since 1942
  • A golden retriever, Mayor Max II, was Mayor of Idyllwild California for eight years until 2022
  • Afghans have dolichocephalic (long) heads giving them a field of vision of 270 degrees
  • Weimaraner puppies are born with striped fur. Within days, the stripes fade

And for all you fellow dog lovers in South Frontenac, don’t miss the Dog Days of Summer event at the Frontenac Farmers Market this Friday, July 14 from 3-7 pm in Centennial Park.

Bring your pooch for a dog-themed outing. Get their photos taken, nails trimmed, enter to win a “ruff”-le basket and let your four-legged friend have some fun at the off-leash dog park. All proceeds go to Happy Tail Animal Sanctuary and Kingston Humane Society. I also read that the Kingston Humane Society has been at capacity recently. Summer is a great time to adopt a pet.

Did you know the dogs of the Frontenac Farmers Market have their own Instagram account? Follow them at frontenacfarmersmarketdogs.

Posted on in charitable, community, family, health and wellness, inspiration, mental health

Kind it forward

Dalai Lama quote: When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner peace and happiness

“Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are.”
– Harold S. Kushner, prominent American rabbi, and author.

Today is World Kindness Day, a day to celebrate and promote good deeds and kindness. Last week I reflected on the state of kindness in the world in “Take the high road”. This week, I’m adjuring all of us to do one #KindAct to spread happiness and kindness in the world. Here are some ideas on how you can kind it forward:

Ways to kind it forward

  1. Reach out to a friend or family member you haven’t spoken to in a while.
  2. If there’s been a rift, forgive them. Apologize and be a good listener.
  3. It seems everyone is sick with some kind of cold or flu right now. Take someone who’s feeling under the weather a bowl of soup, magazine or some baked goods.
  4. Many communities right now are holding food drives for their local food bank. I spoke to our local food bank the other day and their shelves are desperately low and they anticipate higher demand with food prices soaring. South Frontenac Township is holding a food drive during the whole month of November. You can drop off items at the arena, 4432 George Street or 2490 Keeley Road.
  5. This one’s my favourite: do a random act of kindness that will make someone’s day, like buy a coffee for the next person in line or the drive-through or leave a beautiful card with an inspirational saying in a neighbour’s mailbox.
  6. Hug your family and tell them you love them.
  7. Be kind to yourself.

Kindness isn’t a day. It isn’t a single act. It defines who we are as individuals and a society and who we aspire to be.

The best way we can make the world more kind is simply engaging, listening and caring for others.

What will your act of kindness be today? More importantly, what will it be tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that? Leave a comment—I’d love to hear about how your day went.

Posted on in charitable, community, Food and drink

A community success story

Volunteers holding fruit and vegetables in a warehouse
Volunteers Kristine Erdman, France Spence and Anne Newell at Kingston’s Food Redistribution Warehouse

This week I want to tell you about a community success story.

For the past few days, I’ve been working at an amazing facility here in Kingston called the Community Food Redistribution Warehouse. The warehouse officially opened its doors in March and has quickly become a critical hub for collecting and redistributing food to those in need in our community.

I was at the warehouse all day on Wednesday. It was a constant hub of activity with trucks delivering entire skids of oranges, fresh berries, bread and other perishable supplies. I watched a truckload of milk being wheeled into their massive industrial freezers, ready to go to places like the Boys and Girls Club of Kingston and other agencies serving meals in the city. On Tuesday nights, they have a “bread group” that collects all the leftover bread from Cobb’s Bread and brings it to the warehouse.

The warehouse was the brainchild of a dedicated group of partners in Kingston which included the City of Kingston, United Way, Kingston Community Health Centres and Lionhearts who recognized the growing risk to food insecurity during the global pandemic.

Warehouse
Kingston’s Community Food Redistribution Warehouse. The large white structure on the left with the silver doors is one of their massive freezers.

I talked to Shawn Seargeant, Manager, Operations at Lionhearts when I was there. Lionhearts was founded in Kingston in 2014 by a group of community-minded individuals who wanted to help marginalized people in our community. They started serving 50 meals a day which quickly multiplied to 150 meals a day, then 400 meals a day at four different locations during the pandemic.

Shawn said the warehouse has been a godsend. They now have the facilities to take in excess food from restaurants and suppliers across the city, store it properly and redistribute it to agencies and programs in our community.

I asked Shawn and a few other people working there if other cities or centres had a warehouse like this. Guelph, with its large agricultural base has something similar, but for the most part Kingston is one of the few cities on the leading edge of solving the problem of food insecurity and providing universal access to food.

Before I left on Friday, I wandered into another section of the 11,000 square foot warehouse and found my friend France sorting vegetables and fruit with two other dedicated volunteers. France told me she loves working at the warehouse a few hours, three times a week—the volunteers there are a big family. I thanked them for making a difference in our community.

This week’s #HappyAct is to learn more about food insecurity in your community and help be a part of the solution. Here are a few ideas:

  • Grow your own fruit and vegetables in patio containers—donate extra produce to a neighbour, colleague or local charity.
  • Make a food donation to your local food bank. Summer is typically a time when the shelves start to empty out.
  • Build a food lending library in your neighbourhood. Stock it with extra fresh produce, or dried goods, free for the taking.
  • Roll up your sleeves and spend an hour or two working at your local community garden. Most neighbourhood cities have community gardens now that grow and supply fruit and vegetables to local food banks.
  • Support your local farmer’s markets—buy and shop local.
  • Be grateful every day for the food on your table and reduce food waste in your household.

If you’d like to learn more about the incredible work Lionhearts is doing, watch this video…

Posted on in charitable, community, work

Take a trip down memory lane

Author with friends at Kingston's waterfront
Our Welli Boot Toss team in 1999. Kingston Brew Pub used to host a charity event in support of Hospice Kingston where you throw a Welli boot as far as you can. I threw my back out shortly after!

I’ve been awash in memories these past few weeks. After 27 years at Empire Life, I am taking early retirement and will begin a new job as Director of Development with the United Way of Kingston, Frontenac, Lennox and Addington in May.

I’m sure most people on the verge of retirement find themselves taking a trip down memory lane, but for me, it’s been a constant flood of memories since I’ve also been going through my company’s archives these last few months.

I’ve found pictures of me doing crazy things for charity, like jumping in Lake Ontario on December 31, 1999 for Y2K in the Polar Bear Plunge, dressing up for skits as part of our annual United Way campaign, and uncovering every lame Halloween costume I ever pulled together at the last minute. (I was notorious for lame Halloween costumes; it became a bit of a running gag between Dave and me.)

Two girls jumping in Lake Ontario
Jumping in Lake Ontario for charity on New Year’s Eve, Y2K

I also came across photos of people who have passed away, friends young and old who I still think about and miss to this day.

What I didn’t find were any pictures of me working. While I had an interesting and varied career, it won’t be memories of work that I’ll take away from my time at Empire; it will be the memories of the different events, fun times and people who made work-life happy and rich.

This week’s #HappyAct is to rifle through an old yearbook, photo album or drive and take a trip down memory lane. Here are some more of the favourite pictures I found.

Acting in a play
Playing Dr. Evil in one of our United Way skits.
Serving cake at my company's 75th anniversary
Helping serve cake at our company’s 75th-anniversary celebrations almost 25 years ago
Dressed up to judge our Halloween contest
Judging our annual Halloween contest–our President Doug is wearing Dave’s kilt!
Dressed up as Queen Amidala from Star Wars
One of my lame Halloween costume pics, Queen Amidala from Star Wars
Dressed up as KISS for Halloween
One of my best Halloween costumes of all time, KISS with fellow bandmates Jon Begg, Chris Seymour and Tracey Hunt. Any time I had a good Halloween costume it was because my co-workers took pity on me and helped with my costume and make-up