I’m a huge fan of TedTalks. Recently, I stumbled across one on the science of smiles by Ron Gutman, a professor from Stanford University whose mission is to help everyone live happier, healthier lives.
Gutman talks about a 30-year old study from the University of Berkeley, California that looked at old photos in school yearbooks and measured the success and well-being of the graduates throughout their lifetime based on their smiles. The students with the biggest smiles tended to lead more successful, well-rounded lives.
Another study involved looking at old baseball cards and the longevity of the ball players in correlation to the smiles on their cards. The ball players with the biggest smiles lived the longest.
Gutman says one-third of people smile more than 20 times a day, but sadly 14% of us smile less than 5 times per day. Children smile more than 400 times per day.
He claims smiling creates the same positive brain stimulation as eating up to 2,000 bars of chocolate!
Smiling is one of the most basic expressions of humans and something we all do every day.
This week’s #HappyAct is to make a conscious effort to smile at least 20 times a day this week and if you see someone sad, struggling or frowning, ask what’s wrong, tell them a joke, or do something to put a smile on their face.
Reflections of Who I am Who I want to be Personified in Perfect symmetry
Lines blur and blend Bending to my will Distorting where reality ends And make-believe begins
I drift in and out Amongst the reeds and the trees My memories floating Dancing on the surface
Reliving the past Without absorbing What might have been What still could be
Filling an aching void Always reproachful Always critical A bright light Thrown back from the surface
If only we could change To reflect a better version of ourselves A flawless mirror Illuminating the beauty And light within our soul
Ed. note: The idea for this poem came to me after spending time looking at the beautiful reflections of the trees on the water on my lake. At first, it was going to be a photo essay, but it morphed into a poem after I visited a sculpture called “Reflections“ last weekend in a park in Pickering. The sculpture was erected in memory of those who lost their lives to COVID. Here was the description:
“Amongst the panels sits a solitary void to the open sky. The mirrors encourage us to see ourselves from different perspectives and contemplate the personal and collective experience of self-reflection and solitude. The missing mirror examines themes of loss and grief, representing those we lost to COVID-19. Every day as the sun crosses behind the sculpture, the bright spot created by the void cuts through the shadow as it swings across the ground. This light is a reminder that although our loved ones may be gone, they are not forgotten and will continue to be present in our daily lives, drifting in and out, both in influence and memory.”
I’ve just finished reading two books, Neil Young’s biography Wage Heavy Peace and Neil Pasricha’s New York Times Bestseller from 2016, The Happiness Equation.
Both were great reads and even though they were very different books, the authors shared a common message: to be happy and successful in life, you have to do it for you.
I didn’t know much about Neil Young before I read his biography, other than he grew up in Omemee (pronounced Oh-me-me) outside of Peterborough and of course his music, since I’m a big fan.
To say he’s led an interesting, incredible life is an understatement, but I was surprised to learn of all the health challenges, personal tragedy and struggles he’s shared in his life from polio as a child, to back surgeries, grief and loss.
Throughout, music has been his inspiration, solace, escape and passion. I wasn’t aware of his other passions in life–his love of old cars, model trains and his quest to revolutionize sound by developing technology to restore the purity of records through his company Pona and interest in electric vehicles through his Lincvolt project. What an amazing guy.
Did he pursue any of these things because his record labels wanted him to, or to sell records or ingratiate himself with fans? No, he did it for himself.
Young insisted on festival seating for all his indoor shows, even though it meant less money for the band because he wanted people who were stoked to be there at the front of the stage instead of “rich folk on cell phones”, saying the feeling of the shows and experience for the band and audience was much better. He once had his manager rewrite the contracts for a tour already booked because they hadn’t included festival seating.
A writer once accused him of compiling his archives just to further his own legend “whatever that is”. He writes, “What a shallow existence that would be…” and then in classic Neil Young fashion, “it pissed me off.”
In The Happiness Equation, Parischa openly admits he was a victim of his own success early in his career, equating happiness with more book sales, speaking engagements and the number of hits on his blog.
Parischa talks about intrinsic and extrinsic motivators, saying the happiest people are driven by intrinsic motivation. They eschew the critics, the pressure to do what others want them to do, and they forge their own path. He quotes John Lennon who once famously said, “I’m not judging whether ‘I Am the Walrus’ is a better or worse than ‘Imagine’. It is for others to judge. I am doing it. I do. I don’t stand back and judge…I do.”
This week’s #HappyAct is to take it from the Neils and do it for you.
This week, a part of Canada died. Gordon Lightfoot passed away at the age of 84.
A troubadour and master storyteller, his soothing voice and spellbinding lyrics captured the essence of life, love and everything Canadiana, making him one of our most beloved national artists of all time.
Here are songs and lyrics from my favourite Gordon Lightfoot songs of all time to add to your playlist, a tribute to the man and legend. Even now, as I read these lyrics and listen to the beautiful strains of his guitar, my eyes well up.
Song for a Winter’s Night
The lamp is burnin’ low upon my table top The snow is softly falling The air is still in the silence of my room I hear your voice softly calling
If I could only have you near To breathe a sigh or two I would be happy just to hold the hands I love On this winter night with you
Christian Island
I’m sailing down the summer wind I’ve got whiskers on my chin And I like the mood I’m in As I while away the time of day In the lee of Christian Island
Minstrel of the Dawn
The minstrel boy will understand He holds a promise in his hand He talks of better days ahead And by his words your fortunes read Listen to the pictures flow Across the room into your mind they go Listen to the strings They jangle and dangle While the old guitar rings
Canadian Railroad Trilogy
There was a time in this fair land when the railroad did not run When the wild majestic mountains stood alone against the sun Long before the white man and long before the wheel When the green dark forest was too silent to be real
The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings In the rooms of her ice-water mansion
Pussywillows Cattails
Pussywillows, cat-tails, soft winds and roses Rain pools in the woodland, water to my knees Shivering, quivering, the warm breath of spring
Don Quixote
Through the woodland, through the valley Comes a horseman wild and free Tilting at the windmills passing Who can the brave young horseman be
Beautiful
At times I just don’t know How you could be anything but beautiful I think that I was made for you And you were made for me
The Last Time I Saw Her Face
Her eyes were bathed in starlight And her hair hung long The last time she spoke to me, Her lips were like the scented flowers Inside a rain-drenched forest But that was so long ago That I can scarcely feel The way I felt before
Here’s a clip of Lightfoot performing That’s What You Get For Loving Me with Johnny Cash in 1969.
Sometimes you find inspiration in the least likely of places.
I often glance at the obituaries in my local newspaper. This morning, I was reading the obit from an accomplished doctor, Dr. Nicholas Evans. The caption under his photo read, “I have used my days well.”
He was Chief of Gastroenterology at The Toronto Western Hospital and a world leader in the research of the gut-brain interaction. What struck me the most was the majority of the column was devoted to his family and life outside of work. One paragraph in particular captured my attention.
His family wrote, “He shared his life-long belief in the ‘Joy/Crap’ ratio with generations of family, friends and colleagues in need of guidance. Everything in life can be distilled down to one simple question—does the crap outweigh the joy? If so, you have your answer, follow the joy, ditch the crap and change what you can to ensure the joy always outweighs the crap.”
So my friends, what is your crap/joy ratio? This week’s #HappyAct is to make one change to achieve a healthier ratio. Ditch the crap. Find the joy.
And if you need a smile, along the same vein of dealing with life’s crap:
If you imagine a ladder whose rungs are numbered zero to 10, and zero represents your worst possible life and 10 represents your best, which rung would you be on?
This is the question asked of people around the world every year for the World Happiness Report. Last year marked the tenth anniversary of the report which uses global survey data to report how people evaluate their happiness in more than 150 countries. The study researchers will reveal the results of the 2023 report at noon tomorrow, March 20, the International Day of Happiness.
What’s interesting is Finland has ranked #1 for the past five years in a row, followed by Denmark and Iceland in second and third place in last year’s report. Switzerland, Netherlands, Luxembourg, Sweden, Norway, Israel and New Zealand all ranked among the top 10 ‘happiest’ countries in the world. Canada ranked 15th and the US 16th.
I dug a little deeper to understand why Finns have ranked #1 for the past five years. I’ve never been to Finland, and have only had a few Finnish friends over the years.
Finns are not exactly known for their exuberance. There is a Finnish saying, ‘If you’re happy, you should hide it”. Their happiness manifests itself as more of a deep contentment, part of their hygge culture.
One thing the study illuminates, and is true in all the northern European nations who rank the happiest every year, is having access to the basics is a strong baseline for happiness.
In Finland, everyone has access to guaranteed health care, tuition-free school, a living wage, affordable housing, and free universal daycare from eight months until the start of formal education at age seven. It also doesn’t hurt that all Finns get five weeks of vacation every year.
But a key reason why Finland ranks #1 each year is their emphasis on family, friends, relationships and not on accumulating wealth or material possessions. They have their priorities straight.
This week’s #HappyAct is to watch for tomorrow’s report and ask yourself the question, which rung would you be on?
Ed note: If you’d like to read the full report, go to worldhappiness.report. I highly recommend taking 20 minutes to read a few of the sub-reports which are fascinating. For instance, in the report “Exploring the biological basis of happiness”, the researchers concluded that genetics does play a role in happiness. In fact, one study that tracked the lives of identical and fraternal twins found remarkably, that identical twins who were reared apart (100% genetically identical, no shared environmental influences or experiences) turned out to be more similar with respect to their well-being than fraternal twins who grew up together.
Another study on optimism during the pandemic found that while most participants experienced decreases in their optimism and meaning in life during COVID-19, for more than a third of the participants, their levels of optimism and meaning in life remained stable. Fascinating stuff.
I’m into week six of living life indoors with a broken ankle.
Aside from the chronic nerve pain, I’ve been surprised that I’ve been able to keep my spirits up for the most part. And in a strange way, there have been some silver linings.
I’ve started on some writing projects I never seemed to have time for.
I’ve been able to spend days home with Bentley, although he mainly just looks at me with sad, accusing eyes.
I’ve spent time on the phone catching up with friends.
For the first time ever, I’m caught up with my bills, correspondence and filing.
I’ve learned that as long as you have the right system, you can be self-sufficient and do things on your own (although I still say you can’t drink a proper cup of tea from a Yeti).
And finally, I’ve learned that even if someday I am limited in my mobility, I’ll be OK. I used to think that if I didn’t get outside every day, I would literally wither away. I now understand how some seniors choose to stay indoors where it is warm and safe during the winter months.
As I gaze out my sunroom windows on this snowy morning, I’m looking forward to my first walk in the fresh snow, but I also know now that if someday, that walk isn’t possible, I can still be happy.
This week’s #HappyAct is to look for the silver lining.
There’s something about watching a great film that can brighten up even the dreariest of winter days. Here are five Netflix movies to inspire you.
Blinded by the Light: an endearing British film about a Pakistani teenager who discovers the music of Bruce Springsteen. A story about family ties and values and following your dreams.
Eddie the Eagle: if you watched the Calgary Olympics in 1988, you know the story of Eddie the Eagle, the British ski jumper who captured our hearts with his determination to jump despite all the odds (and little training!) With Hugh Jackman and Taron Egerton.
The Fundamentals of Caring: I loved this quirky tale of a teenager with muscular dystrophy who bonds with his caregiver on a cross-country journey to see a big pit. Terrific cast, including Paul Rudd, Selena Gomez, Craig Roberts, and it took me a minute to place the Mom, but Jennifer Ehle from Pride and Prejudice fame.
The Swimmers: full disclosure, I haven’t watched this one yet, but it’s next on my list. A true story of two Syrian sisters who escape war to pursue their dreams of being competitive swimmers.
My Octopus Teacher: a documentary by diver Craig Foster who develops a unique bond with an octopus while filming off the coast of South Africa. Beautiful, inspiring with amazing underwater cinematography.
There you have it. Happy viewing!
Ed. note: If you’re a movie buff and live in Eastern Ontario, make sure you get tickets for the Kingston Canadian Film Festival in March. The line-up will be announced on February 2 and tickets go on sale February 6. Last year, I saw the amazing film Scarborough at the festival.
Happy Act 