Dave and Laurie’s High School Reunion

Me and my friend John Chong at my high school reunion

This past weekend, Dave and I attended our high school reunion. It had been 41 years since we graduated and I was looking forward to catching up with old friends.

Dave was a harder sell. Dave has this theory that only successful people go to reunions. The last time we went to a high school reunion, Dave swiped the name tag of some guy named Harry who graduated a decade earlier and told everyone he was a lawyer.

A bit of back story. Dave and I met in high school. He moved to Port Credit in Grade 10 and was one of six Daves in my Grade 10 history class with Mr. Gatto (I can still name all six Daves to this day). He asked me out skating in Grade 10 and even though I liked him, I turned him down because I had just got a bad perm that day and was too embarrassed to go out. We ended up friends, started dating after university, and the rest, they say is history.

Back to the reunion. A bunch of us met up at a local bar on the Friday night and it was as if no time had passed. Even though we had all aged, our personalities hadn’t changed a bit.

There were your fair share of success stories–people who ran their own businesses, and led interesting life journeys or had exciting careers, but there were some sad stories as well, friends who had experienced loss or challenges. Many had a parent who had recently passed away or who was suffering from dementia.

We shared laughs, told stories and enjoyed catching up on each other’s lives.

What struck me the most though was just how privileged we were to have grown up in such a well-to-do neighbourhood and to attend a high school that offered incredible opportunities, including a full music program, outdoor trips and extracurricular opportunities.

As we exchanged numbers, texts and photos, I left feeling grateful–grateful for being able to share this special time in our lives with these wonderful people.

I know we all won’t necessarily keep in touch, but I hope some of us at least can make some more memories together someday soon.

Here are some of my favourite pics from the weekend.

group of people at a bar
Dave and three of his buddies
Me and my friend Mark
My friends Doug, Derek and Pravin
rock band on stage

My buddies playing in one of the bands at the talent show

me in front of my athlete of the year picture

Me in front of my “Athlete of the Year” picture (note the bad perm in the photo)

Make a wish

Shooting star

I saw two shooting stars from my hot tub the other night. They blazed across the sky above the treetops and disappeared in the dark sky, leaving faint wispy trails in their wake.

Since I was a little girl, I’ve wished upon a shooting star. It’s such a special gift to be granted one wish and moment of truth and clarity, deciding how to use it. For years, I would reserve my wish for Dave or the girls, or a sick family member or friend.

Lately I’ve been selfish and using that one precious wish for myself. I can’t tell you what it is, or it won’t come true. But here’s wishing…

This week’s #HappyAct is to make a wish. You never know, it just might come true. Happy apoco-eclipse day tomorrow!

Happy Birthday to me

Author and friend in front of a lighthouse

Why is it so many of us hate birthdays?

I’ve always been rather agnostic about my birthday. I like getting presents and eating cake, whatever the occasion, but when you are an adult, a birthday never feels like a day to celebrate for some reason. It’s probably because for many of us, it’s just another day and reminds us of our age and of all the negative physical aspects of aging.

That’s why I was pleasantly surprised when I saw on Facebook yesterday a post by a friend of mine that started with the words “Happy Birthday to Me”. She shared that she was celebrating another year, another day, another opportunity to enjoy life, and was so thankful for all the blessings in her life.

It was so refreshing to see someone truly embrace their birthday and its true meaning: a celebration of being alive.

So this year, I’ve decided I’m going to celebrate my birthday, not with balloons or cupcakes or presents (although a Dairy Queen ice cream cake would be scrumpdillyicious).

I’m going to celebrate me…still here, still dreaming, still contributing, still loving, still planning my next adventure, still laughing, still alive.

The High Beams Story

quote "Give compassion, every day the average person fights epic battles never told just to survive"

If I had one wish for 2024, it would be for the world to be more compassionate.

Yesterday when we were driving to Cobourg for hockey, there was a person driving a bit erratically. As we passed them on the highway, I looked over, expecting to see someone on their phone and noticed they looked distressed.

 

We started talking about a post we’d seen on our local community Facebook group about high beams. Someone posted an apology to people driving on the highway the night before, saying they just had their new car in for servicing and something happened and they couldn’t unlock their high beams so they were blinding everyone on the drive home. Apparently it’s a known issue with a certain make and model of car.

 

I can only imagine how many people that night were cursing under their breath, calling them an a**hole and worse, thinking they were doing it on purpose or were just a bad driver.

 

It’s a good reminder that you never know what is going on in a person’s life and to be compassionate.

 

So the next time someone is short with you or does something that ticks you off, remember they may be having a bad day or fraught with worry, or something else may be going on that deserves your compassion instead of your censure.

 

Remember the high beams story.

The top 12 happy acts of 2023

Drag queen performing

It’s all too easy to reflect on the sad news stories of 2023: the war in Ukraine, Gaza, the summer of smoke and wildfires, skyrocketing inflation. Brighten your day by looking back on the top happy acts of 2023:

  1. Need some R&R? Call a cottage day
  2. Already dreading going back to work on Tuesday? Join the movement and read The case for the four-day work week
  3. If life is a blur and you need to be reminded how lucky you are, scroll through The Camera Roll of Life
  4. Discover why I want to be a drag queen when I grow up in Drag yourself to a drag show
  5. Find out why Kettlemans is my everything bagel in Dear Kettlemans
  6. Take a bite out of the big apple, by special guest blogger Ray Dorey
  7. See what happens when you cross a cheap party dress and a dryer in Add a little glitter and glam to your life
  8. For the poetry lovers, Reflections
  9. Read my tribute to two of the greats: Buddy Guy on his farewell tour in See a legend live, and the late great Gordon Lightfoot in The Summer Side of Life
  10. And if you need help choosing a New Year’s Resolution, shoot for a better Crap Joy Ratio or Climb the ladder of happiness

Thanks once again to all of you who read my blog each Sunday. Here’s to many more #HappyActs in 2024!

Author and her husband

Lessons on life and happiness from It’s a Wonderful Life

Me and Leslie with Beford Falls sign

This summer, my best friend Leslie and I toured the “It’s a Wonderful Life” Museum in Seneca Falls, New York. I fell in love immediately with this wonderful little museum said to be the inspiration for the town of Bedford Falls in the Christmas classic.

As the story goes, Frank Capra, the film’s director visited Seneca Falls in 1946 after returning from the war. He loved the town with its beautiful bridges so much, he based Bedford Falls on it.

While in town, Capra no doubt also heard the story of Antonio Varacalli, a young 19-year old Italian man who jumped off one of the town’s bridges in 1917 to rescue a woman from drowning. While Varacalli successfully saved her life, he drowned, sacrificing his own life for another.

There is a plaque dedicated to Varacalli on the bridge and today people from around the world place bells on the bridge helping to give angels their wings in tribute to the film and its message of hope, friendship, love and self-worth.

Plaque on bridge in honour of Antonio Varacalli

The museum, which is currently in a temporary location on the main street as the main building undergoes renovations has photos, memorabilia and quotes from the film and the actors. Every year, the museum hosts a “It’s a Wonderful Life” Festival weekend on the second weekend of December with gala dinners, the chance to meet cast members and people associated with the film, special screenings, parties and more. The dates are Dec 8-10 this year and you can see the full list of events here.

What struck me the most as I was wandering around the exhibits and listening to the marvelous old songs from that era was the lessons on life and happiness from the film, both woven into the dialogue of the movie itself, but that has also become part of the lore and culture surrounding It’s a Wonderful Life.

Old Man Potter in the film says, “I am an old man, and most people hate me. But I don’t like them either so that makes it all even.” Lionel Barrymore, the actor who played Mr. Potter was quoted as saying, “The older you get, the more you realize that kindness is synonymous with happiness.”

From Angel Clarence: “Remember, no man is a failure who has friends” and “Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”

George Lassos the Moon drawing

In an interview of the film, Capra once said, “It’s a Wonderful Life sums up my philosophy of filmmaking. First, to exalt the worth of the individual. Second, to champion man, plead his causes, protest any degradation of his dignity, spirit or divinity. And third, to dramatize the viability of the individual, as in the theme of the film itself. There is a radiance and glory in the darkness, could we but see, and to see we only have to look. I beseech you to look.”

This week’s #HappyAct is to watch this holiday classic in the next month and make plans to visit the museum in Seneca Falls (you won’t want to miss the National Women’s Hall of Fame and Women’s Rights Museum which are also undergoing renovations).

I’ll leave you with a famous interview Capra did in 1976 that beautifully summarized the meaning and appeal of the film.

“I like people. I think that people are just wonderful. I also think people are equal in the sense of their dignity, their divinity; there’s no such thing as a common man or uncommon man.

To me, each one is actually unique. Never before has there been anyone like you. Never again will there be anyone like you.

You are something that never existed before and will never exist again. Isn’t that wonderful? Isn’t that something pretty exciting? So I look at you as something that plays part of a great whole, an equal part of everything, or else you wouldn’t be here.” – Frank Capra

piano in museum
Leslie on the bridge
Author in front of museum entrance
bell on bridge

One simple thing you can do starting today to be happier

I’m a huge fan of TedTalks. Recently, I stumbled across one on the science of smiles by Ron Gutman, a professor from Stanford University whose mission is to help everyone live happier, healthier lives.

Gutman talks about a 30-year old study from the University of Berkeley, California that looked at old photos in school yearbooks and measured the success and well-being of the graduates throughout their lifetime based on their smiles. The students with the biggest smiles tended to lead more successful, well-rounded lives.

Another study involved looking at old baseball cards and the longevity of the ball players in correlation to the smiles on their cards. The ball players with the biggest smiles lived the longest.

Gutman says one-third of people smile more than 20 times a day, but sadly 14% of us smile less than 5 times per day. Children smile more than 400 times per day.

He claims smiling creates the same positive brain stimulation as eating up to 2,000 bars of chocolate!

Smiling is one of the most basic expressions of humans and something we all do every day.

This week’s #HappyAct is to make a conscious effort to smile at least 20 times a day this week and if you see someone sad, struggling or frowning, ask what’s wrong, tell them a joke, or do something to put a smile on their face.

Watch the full Ted Talk, the Hidden Power of Smiling.

Reflections

My reflection in Reflections sculpture

Reflections of
Who I am
Who I want to be
Personified in
Perfect symmetry

Lines blur and blend
Bending to my will
Distorting where reality ends
And make-believe begins

I drift in and out
Amongst the reeds and the trees
My memories floating
Dancing on the surface

Reliving the past
Without absorbing
What might have been
What still could be

Filling an aching void
Always reproachful
Always critical
A bright light
Thrown back from the surface

If only we could change
To reflect a better version of ourselves
A flawless mirror
Illuminating the beauty
And light within our soul

Ed. note: The idea for this poem came to me after spending time looking at the beautiful reflections of the trees on the water on my lake. At first, it was going to be a photo essay, but it morphed into a poem after I visited a sculpture called “Reflections“ last weekend in a park in Pickering. The sculpture was erected in memory of those who lost their lives to COVID. Here was the description:

Amongst the panels sits a solitary void to the open sky. The mirrors encourage us to see ourselves from different perspectives and contemplate the personal and collective experience of self-reflection and solitude. The missing mirror examines themes of loss and grief, representing those we lost to COVID-19. Every day as the sun crosses behind the sculpture, the bright spot created by the void cuts through the shadow as it swings across the ground. This light is a reminder that although our loved ones may be gone, they are not forgotten and will continue to be present in our daily lives, drifting in and out, both in influence and memory.”

trees reflecting in lake
rock reflecting in lake
reeds reflecting in lake
red tree reflecting in water
trees reflecting in lake

Living the dream

Dr. Seuss sign on life and regrets

I have a couple of friends that when you ask them how’s it going, they always say sarcastically “Oh you know, just living the dream”.

Just once, wouldn’t it be nice if when we said, “Just living the dream” we meant it?

If we had time to pursue our passions instead of spending all of our time at work?

If we lived within our means without financial worry?

If we lived a life of purpose and service with all their intrinsic rewards?

If we lived life with zest instead of just existing?

If we were thankful every day for every blessing, big or small?

Sounds like a nice dream to me.

The secret to living well

mountain in Tibet

There is a Tibetan proverb that says,

“The secret to living well and longer is: eat half, walk double, laugh triple and love without measure.

I’ve had it backwards this past year.

I’ve been eating double, walking half, spending triple and watching Netflix without measure.

Time to start living well.