Golden Happiness: the story of the napalm girl

Photo, The Terror of War taken on March 8, 1972 of the Napalm girl Kim Phuc

On March 8, 1972, a moment caught in time changed the world. It was the photo of 9-year old Kim Phuc, running naked on a road after being severely burned by a napalm attack in the Vietnamese War. The photo, later named “The Terror of War”, would go on to win a Pulitzer Prize and sway the shifting sands of sentiment against the war in Vietnam.

I was very fortunate last week to meet Kim and hear her speak about the day her village was bombed, the famous photo and how it impacted her life, and her path to faith, forgiveness and finding peace in her heart and happiness as a wife, mother and through her work as a UNESCO Global Ambassador for Peace.

Kim, whose name means Golden Happiness in Vietnamese was just nine years old when the Viet Cong invaded her village. The villagers, especially the children, were sent to a nearby temple where they would be safe. When the four bombs hit her village, she ran. The searing heat from the napalm at 1200 degrees Celsius burned the clothes off her body and much of her skin.

Presumed dead, her body was taken to the morgue where she lay motionless, in agony for three days before her parents found her and moved her to a hospital. She was transferred to a burn hospital where she spent the next 14 months.

Ten years later, Kim was studying to be a doctor when the South Vietnamese government had her dismissed from medical school. They wanted her to be a national symbol and puppet spokesperson, but as Kim puts it, she did not want to give them the power over her story and refused to comply. She was sent to Cuba for the next six years, where she met her husband, a North Korean.

Returning from their honeymoon in Moscow, Kim knew one of her only chances for freedom was to defect. When their plane stopped in Gander, Newfoundland for an hour layover and to refuel, she knew what she had to do. She and her husband got off the plane and sought political asylum in Canada.

For many years, the emotional and physical scars of her ordeal (she has undergone 17 surgeries over the years) filled her heart with hatred. But she realized she had two choices, to change her heart, or die from hatred. She said it took years to find peace and forgive her enemies.

She told one story of going to Washington in 1996 and visiting the Vietnam War Memorial. It was a large public event and she was asked to speak. Many Vietnam vets were attending, including the soldier who planned the attack on her village (the pilot who dropped the bombs was actually Vietnamese).

This soldier, named John, came forward and said he had never forgiven himself for the past 24 years for what he did to her and her village. She hugged him, and realized for the first time she was not the only one who suffered that day. They remain close friends to this day.

Kim’s message is still relevant in today’s troubled world: peace, love and forgiveness will always be more powerful than hatred.

I was struck by how beautiful, inside and out Kim was. She radiated peace, goodness, and loved to laugh. Her favourite saying was “No way, Jose!” and she said “eh?” several times, declaring herself a true Canadian.

In 1997, she founded the Kim Foundation International, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping child victims of war. She still lives in Ajax, Ontario with her husband, and has three children and several grandchildren.

She also shared her secrets for living a happy, successful life:

Free your heart from hatred
Free your mind from worry
Live simple
Give more
Expect less

This week is Remembrance Day. As we honour the men and women who sacrificed their lives for our country, and the victims of war, remember the words of the napalm girl, that peace, love and forgiveness will always be more powerful than hatred.

Me and Kim Phuc Phan Thi, the Napalm girl

Walking in a winter wonderland

Pine trees in snow

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where treetops glisten
And children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow

Outside snowflakes are falling
Our sleds and skis in tow
A sense of joy fills the air
We haven’t a care
Playing in a wonderland of snow

The lake is frozen over
The world is frosty and grand
Birds share their singsong
As we sing along
In a wintery fairy land

Love and happiness surround us
As we stroll hand in hand
It’s a beautiful sight
All is merry and bright
Walking in a winter wonderland

The world is peaceful and quiet
A bed of fresh fallen snow
The sky sparkles with light
Before the still, silent night
With lights all warm and aglow

So throw your arms up to the sky
In the snow on Christmas day
May it be merry and bright
Every Christmas be white
And all your troubles be far away

Ed note: Living in Eastern Ontario, it’s not Christmas without snow. It will be a white Christmas this year and that makes me happy. I took these photos on one of my walks this week after a fresh snowfall and wrote this mash-up of several favourite Christmas songs that includes lyrics from Irving Berlin’s White Christmas, Sarah McLachlan’s Wintersong, It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas by Meredith Willson and Sleigh Ride by Leroy Anderson, plus a few verses of my own. If you’re a musician, feel free to put them to music!

I hope everyone has a very peaceful and joyous Christmas. Be sure to check back for next week’s #HappyAct, my annual round-up of top happy acts of 2024.

tree with snow and blue sky
snow covered trees
Swamp covered in snow
Dog on a snowy lane

Celebrating life’s milestones

Author's daughter receiving her high school graduation diploma

It’s always a lovely moment when you get to celebrate a special milestone in a person’s life. Whether it’s a graduation, wedding or retirement party, it’s an honour and privilege to share their special day and celebrate their achievements and accomplishments.

This past week we attended three celebrations, the retirement party of someone I had worked with for almost three decades, Clare’s high school graduation and a pre-prom gathering with some parents to take photos of our kids before they headed out for their big night on the town.

Each celebration left me smiling and feeling joyous. My friend Edward’s retirement was a gathering of old friends and co-workers. We were all so genuinely happy for Edward and it was wonderful to see so many friendly faces I hadn’t seen in some time.

My favourite part of retirement celebrations is always watching the reactions and expressions on the faces of the children of the person retiring as they realize their parent is more than just their dorky Mom or Dad, but an accomplished professional, beloved by their co-workers.

This wasn’t the case for Edward since three of his four kids actually worked at our company for a period of time, but it was still nice to see them all there honouring their Dad.

The next celebration was Thursday afternoon, when hundreds of proud parents gathered in our local high school auditorium to watch our kids receive their high school diplomas.

It was the 150th graduation ceremony of Sydenham High School, and while we knew parents and students had stood before us for the past 149 years, we still felt like our kids were the most special of all, having survived COVID, octomesters (ours was one of the few high schools during COVID where the students took one course, 6 hours a day), and more.

The third milestone was watching this same group of kids get ready for prom. The girls were stunning in their long dresses and up-dos, and the boys donned their best black suits. We all snapped photo after photo as they posed with their friends and boyfriends, without a care in the world, for one day at least, before heading out for the formal dinner and dance. If your heart could pound out of your chest with pride, it did yesterday for us parents.

This week’s #HappyAct is to cherish and celebrate the milestones in your life. There are a few more milestones ahead for our household this summer. Soon we’ll be empty nesters as Clare goes off to university this fall, and I’m retiring fully in August to join Dave.

Clare and her friends toasting on the dock
Clare and her friends dressed up before prom on the dock
Clare and her boyfriend dressed up for prom

For the love of tourist traps

Maid of the mist at Niagara Falls

When I travel, I’m always of two minds. A part of me wants to wander off the beaten path, far flung from the sites and attractions where hordes of tourists flock and diminish the experience.

The other part of me thinks there is a reason why a place is a mecca for tourists and I desperately want to see it.

I’ve learned to blend these two desires on my trips, visiting the “must see” attractions in the guide books and making sure I spend a bit of time exploring backroads.

A couple of weeks ago, my girlfriends and I spent a weekend in Niagara-on-the-Lake and Niagara Falls. On the Saturday, we stopped at Pillitteri Estates Winery for lunch, strolled along the main streets and parks of Niagara-on-the-Lake, saw My Fair Lady at the Shaw Festival and stayed at a lovely bed and breakfast, The Bushey House.

We were debating what to do on the Sunday and I said I’d be up for doing the “Behind the Falls Experience” at Niagara Falls, which I’d never done before.

After a quick stop for a chocolate factory tour at the Chocolate Factory Experience (highly recommended by the way, make sure you pick up their addictive Red Chocolate Cherry Bites), we arrived in Niagara Falls.

It was crawling with tourists. At first we thought it was just the regular throngs that descend on the falls on a Sunday afternoon in June, but we realized after seeing clusters of cyclists that it was the Scotiabank Ride to Conquer Cancer, so it was busier than usual.

We paid our $36 for parking (OMG) and walked across the bridge to the Behind the Falls Experience. While it was cool to get so up close to the falls, I’m not sure I’d include it on the must-see attractions in Niagara Falls.

The “behind the falls” experience consisted of looking at a small opening from a tunnel and a wall of water pouring over it. The observation deck was the real draw, where you could hear the roar of the falls and experience the spray and mist wash over you.

When we emerged from the tunnels, we spent the rest of the afternoon walking along the promenade.

Even though there were thousands of tourists, Niagara Falls never fails to disappoint. There is a reason why some people call it the “eighth wonder of the world”.

The skies that day were an ominous dark steel grey, in stark contrast to the blue swirling waters and white foam of the falls and river. I stood mesmerized, snapping photo after photo, admiring their majestic beauty and watching the cormorants and gulls bouncing and diving in the whirlpools as the tour boats steamed towards the wall of water.

It was worth braving the crowds for.

This week’s #HappyAct is to visit a well-known tourist attraction. You won’t be disappointed.

People on the observation deck at Behind the Falls experience in Niagara Falls
Niagara Falls
Niagara Falls
Daisies along Niagara River

Beautiful daisies grace the gorge

I loved how the mist melded with the sky in this photo

Me and my girlfriends behind the falls

The soft shades of spring–a photo essay

new leafy growth on a birch tree stump

They say Ireland has 40 shades of green, but in spring, South Frontenac has 50 shades of green.

Even though spring isn’t my favourite season, I love the softness of this time of year. Tiny wispy yellow-green buds burst forth from the end of tree branches, delicate feathery ferns claw through the dull brown undergrowth, lush dark green grasses appear in clumps in the fields and meadows, and the forest canopy is a kaleidoscope of different shades of green.

When we drive down to the Carolinas each year in late March or April, one of the things I love most is watching the trees change as we go from our cold, grey bleak Canadian landscape to spring within a day’s drive. It’s as if the changing of the seasons is on steroids or fast forward.

In southern Pennsylvania, we get a peek at the first signs of spring, then if we’re lucky, in Maryland, we are treated to the sight of apple blossoms in full bloom with a hint of leaves emerging from their bursting branches. By the time we get to Virginia, we roll the windows down and let the warmth of the sun wash over us as we travel past trees in full foliage.

Here are some pictures I took on my property of the fifty shades of green. The lilacs in our area are just starting to bloom–a perfect day trip.  Happy spring!

treeline beside a field
tulip with green tips and leaves
Lily of the Valley
white birch bark against green grass
white and yellow flowers in the undergrowth
feathery ferns in the undergrowth
crab apple tree leaves and blooms
maple leaves on a tree overlooking a lake
apple blossoms in full bloom

This last photo was taken at a rest stop in Maryland on our last trip to South Carolina. The apple blossoms were in full bloom.

An unexpected gift

artwork of trees

This week, I received an unexpected gift. It was a beautiful piece of artwork of red leaves in the fall sent to me by our good friend Jon Begg.

Jon lives in the Great White North but always comes for dinner and a fish whenever he is back in southern Ontario. On his last visit, we talked photography and he showed me pictures on his phone of images he had taken of the fall foliage that he had photoshopped to look like artwork. They were simply stunning.

Fast forward to this week, and I now have one of his beautiful creations hanging in my dining room. I’m not sure if that will be its permanent place of honour but every night at the dinner table, I find myself admiring this unexpected gift.

This week’s #HappyAct is to bring some joy to someone special by sending them an unexpected gift. Leave a comment and share what you did. Here’s another one of Jon’s treasured gifts, a mock magazine cover of one of the boys’ 2008 fishing expeditions on the Moira River.

Take pictures at a National Historic site at sunset

Sunset over Kingston from Fort Henry hill

This past year and half has been tough, but my heart especially has gone out to teenagers. At a time when they should be living carefree in the halcyon of their days, they’ve endured lockdowns, restrictions on the number of friends they could see, and unable to attend concerts, events and parties.

During lockdown, one of the favourite things Grace and her friends liked to do was go to a local Kingston restaurant, get take-out and eat it on the grass at the top of Fort Henry hill at sunset. A couple of weeks ago, I took Clare and two of her friends to Fort Henry to take pictures as the sun went down.

Fort Henry hill is a spectacular location. To the east of the majestic limestone walls of the fort, you see one of the six Martello towers perched on point jutting out into the blue waters of the St. Lawrence River. To the west, you get a magnificent view of downtown Kingston, with its stately church spires, City Hall and the historic buildings of Royal Military College in the foreground.

As I wandered the grounds around the fort, serenaded by the mystical sounds of Pumpkininferno gearing up for its opening night, I watched photographers set up their cameras to capture the sunset, students and couples sitting admiring the view, and Clare and her friends taking selfies and photos against the stunning backdrop.

Fort Henry walls
Martello tower in the St. Lawrence

The sky deepened blue, then a hint of orange starting appearing on the horizon. Wisps of clouds dotted the sky, scattering fractured light throughout the sky. As the sun set lower behind the buildings, the clouds cast swaths of brilliant orange across the entire sky and soon the sun was a single yellow orb surrounded by fire. It was so breathtaking. The crowds of people that were descending Fort Henry Hill all stopped to admire the spectacle.

Here were my photos of that special night.

Two teenagers taking photos
Clare on Fort Henry hill as the sun sets over Kingston

This week’s #HappyAct is to take pictures at sunset at a historic site in your city and be grateful that we can now start doing so many of the things that were denied us for so long.

Ed. Note: Pumpkininferno is running from now until October 31, 2021 at Upper Canada Village in Morrisburg and at Fort Henry.

Martello tower and downtown Kingston at sunset
Orange sun and clouds

Cotton candy skies

Brilliant sky over the lake

Gorgeous summer nights have brought a special delight: a bounty of spectacular skies for the watching.

We’ve seen fiery red orbs, masking as the setting sun in a strange haze, ablaze like the wildfires burning in Northern Ontario and Western Canada.

As darkness descends, we’ve seen iridescent super moons rise high in the sky, first glowing orange, then magically changing to white, lighting up the night.

But my favourite by far are the cotton candy skies. The nights when the sun goes down and the horizon gives way to fluffy pink and blue puffballs, like the bags of sticky cotton candy on a stick you’d buy at your local fair.

This week’s #HappyAct is to watch for nature’s show in the sky this week.

Blue and pink sky
Cotton candy sky over the lake

It’s not over until the heron leaves

Here we are. Despite Covid, despite Trump, nature has blessed us with another spectacular show of fall colours in Eastern Ontario.

I find this time of year, I bring my camera with me wherever I go, longing to capture that perfect shot, but rain and clouds have been my nemesis this fall. Every time I head out, the clouds roll in and the trees seem to transform from a brilliant debutante into a dowdy old maid.

I was paddling in our back lake the other day, and here’s the good news, the heron is still here.

Herons are the first to arrive each spring, and the last to leave each fall. In the spring, you’ll see their majestic return as the first creeks and streams open up, well before the ice has melted from the main part of the lake.

In the fall, after the loons fly south, the turtles stop sunning themselves on the logs, and the beavers stop being so busy, it is the solitary heron standing sentinel over the chilly waters.

Some people say it’s not over until the fat lady sings. I say it’s not over until the heron leaves, so get out and enjoy the last of this brilliant fall weather.

Here are some photos from my fall photo essay Autumn ablaze last year and from my latest outings. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Look up

trees in beautiful BC

I’m tired of watching people looking down all the time at their devices but at others too. It’s time we looked up for a change.

When you look up, you discover a new perspective.

Towering trees, brilliant skies, amazing architecture.

Sunshine, positivity, admiration, kindness.

Leaders who deserve to lead.

Just look up.Kingston city hall

 

goats grazing on a roof
Goats on the roof at Coombs country market in BC

ceiling of BC provincial government building in Victoria
Ceiling of provincial legislature building in Victoria, BC