There are no words to describe the comfort of a friend. Friends console us when we’re down. They are a sympathetic ear when troubles weigh heavy on your heart and the first person to say I believe in you. You will overcome this.
They share in life’s joys, sorrows and celebrations. They are the person you turn to when you need a hug, or someone to listen without judgement, or just want to share a laugh or what’s on your mind. They love you unconditionally, warts and all. Without them, we’d be lost.
It’s a scientific fact that having one good friend has a significant impact on happiness. It’s not surprising having a friend increases your happiness in good times, but it’s been proven that having a friend is critical during times of stress when you need help.
In his New York University course The Science of Happiness, Dr. Alan Schlechter lectures about the “tend and befriend” response. The cousin to the fight or flight response, the tend and befriend response is when the hormone oxytocin, induced by stress tells us to reach out for help. When we reach out to a friend, our cortisone level goes down and we feel better.
They say you’re lucky to have at least one true friend in your lifetime. I’ve been fortunate enough to have two, my best friend Leslie and my husband Dave. Thanks for being my rock, guys. I love you both.
This week’s #HappyAct is to tell your best friend how much they mean to you.
Street art installation on the Waterfront Trail at the Cataraqui Riverin Kingston
About a month ago, I started a new job. One of the perks of changing jobs is I’ve been able to explore a new area of Kingston on my daily walks at lunch.
This isn’t the touristy part of the Kingston. You won’t find photos of the north side of Princess Street in the glossy travel brochures, but I‘ve found my new little neighbourhood has heart and soul in spades and is full of hidden gems.
My first stroll took me down the Waterfront Trail along the Cataraqui River near the old Woolen Mill. There were dozens of swans gracefully swimming in the river, and turtles basking in the sunshine on the shore. A group of school girls were having their photos taken on the big grassy area by the water and people were out jogging and walking their dogs.
Across the trail was a street art installation with the most amazing graffiti. The sign said people were free to paint over any of the sections, but you could tell the graffiti had been there for some time.
The next day I walked up some of the back streets, past brightly coloured orange, yellow and green houses like you’d find in Newfoundland or Nova Scotia, and homes with kiosks out front saying, “Take what you need, leave what you can”. I found a poetry garden with a poem by Lorna Crozier and sidewalks with chalk signs that offered up lemonade and free dog biscuits.
Another day, I was walking along Rideau Street and saw a young woman walking a dog with gorgeous black, brown and white markings. The dog promptly stopped and sat down at the corner. I was curious why the dog stopped so I stood and watched. The girl looked over and smiled and waited.
The door to a house across the street swung open and another young woman emerged and crossed the road with a plastic bag full of dog treats. It was clear this was a daily routine. It was a beautiful moment that I felt lucky to witness that showed how deep and caring the connections were in my new neck of the woods.
This week’s #HappyAct is to explore a new area of your city. You never know what hidden gems and stories you may find.
I’ve always loved a screen porch. There’s just something special about feeling like you’re outdoors, in nature but without the bugs, and spending quality time talking, playing cards, reading or doing puzzles.
The other night after dinner, I wandered into the front room and asked Dave where the girls were. He said he thought Clare was in the screened porch doing school work.
I went to join her and found Grace sitting on the futon, gently strumming her guitar while Clare sat in the lounger under a fluffy duvet writing out an assignment. I joined them and we just sat there for about an hour, listening to the chords float into the air, the birds chirping outside and watching the cotton candy sky swirl above the leafy treetops as the sun went down.
It was a special moment in a special place and I was so grateful to be able to spend time with my girls, with no phones, computers or devices to take away from the peace, serenity and tranquility of our beautiful surroundings.
This week’s #HappyAct is to spend some time with a different type of screen. Here’s a picture of Bentley after a swim in our screened porch.
Last weekend, my girlfriend Leslie and I went to the Van Gogh Immersive Exhibit in Toronto.
It wasn’t at all what I expected, but was quite interesting. I expected to walk through a gallery of rooms of Van Gogh’s art projected on walls, but you actually enter one room and stay there the whole time as the theatrical experience engulfs you.
It was a massive space—the exhibit is showing at The Toronto Star building at 1 Yonge Street and I suspected the space on the first floor was the former printing plant.
The first time we watched the 35-minute production, we simply admired Van Gogh’s masterpieces paired with classical music as they surrounded us in 360-degree views projected on the walls and floor.
Van Gogh’s famous sunflowers, lilies and almond blossoms surrounded us, followed by a starry night, scenes of fields and cafes, and portraits of courtesans, farmers and compatriots of his day.
The second time we watched it, the images transformed in a new way, dancing across the walls, rising and falling, coming to life. The smoke from a cigar billowed upward, a steam train rolled across the countryside, and a windmill slowly turned amongst threatening clouds as the animated images immersed us in their beauty and brushstrokes.
Art aficionados and purists may balk at commercializing works of art and masterpieces, but for me it created a new and wondrous appreciation of the work of Van Gogh.
Here are some pictures of the exhibit. The Van Gogh 360 exhibit is on until May 30 in Toronto and this summer at Lansdowne Place in Ottawa. Be sure to put it on your summer vacation happy act list.
Before I begin, full disclosure. Although my passionate interest in what I am about to describe is readily apparent, I am not an employee of Lego, nor do I own any Lego stock – oh how I wish I did! I am only a happy consumer.
Without question, Lego building blocks were my favourite distraction – I hesitate to say “toy” – growing up. There was nothing I enjoyed more than to dump a box of Lego blocks on the floor and eagerly begin assembling my next masterpiece. Whether it was a sleek racing car, a futuristic spaceship, or some other strange contraption, Lego helped stoke and mould my imagination and creativity.
Some of my creations I would proudly display for weeks, while others I would immediately tear down and start anew. As much as I hated destroying some of them, I of course needed the blocks for my next project. And this remember was in a time before smartphones and social media when I couldn’t take a few photos and post them instantly for peer review.
Flash-forward to present day, and Lego has grown exponentially in popularity. It’s been enjoyable watching my nephew share the same excitement for Lego that I had when I was his age. I’m sure when he purchases his first home, he’ll need an addition just to store all of his Lego kits he’s accumulated through the years.
My only criticism – and it’s a relatively mild one – is that Lego has evolved to offer mostly custom-designed builds. When I was growing up – here comes my walking through the snow uphill old guy story – I don’t recall there being as many customized kits. I remember large miscellaneous boxes of Lego pieces, and it was left to my imagination what I was building. Today, most kits come with custom pieces and detailed step-by-step instructions, perhaps dulling the creative experience.
Today, there are many “adult” Lego sets, targeting older, nostalgic generations, who like me grew up with Lego. The adult sets have more pieces and detail, and are perhaps a little more complicated to put together.
Last fall, I tackled the Lego Haunted House kit, complete with a working elevator, and I’m about to start a new especially exciting build – one that was just released – a larger and more detailed model of the DeLorean time machine from the 80s classic movie, Back to the Future.
While you may not see me list Lego among my hobbies on my Tinder profile, it does bring me much enjoyment in the form of youthful exuberance, which is always a welcome and valued commodity.
Ed. note: Ray is one of two friends who are AFOLs, LegoSpeak for Adult Fans of Lego. A few times on our family vacations, we’ve been in Lego stores or malls where they have simply amazing Lego creations. Why not pop into a Lego store and check it out. Last year Lego opened a new flagship store in New York City on Fifth Avenue. Read more about the store and Lego’s success in targeting the adult fan market in this article in The Guardian.
Lego display in their new flagship store in New York City
At the end of April, we travelled to St. Simon’s Island, Georgia for our annual family vacation. We’ve become enamoured with the barrier islands in the Low Country and this beautiful island south of Savannah didn’t disappoint.
One of my favourite days was exploring Driftwood Beach on nearby Jekyll Island. Located on the northern end of the island, it’s unlike any other beach you’ve been to. It’s quite isolated and stretches for miles and is strewn with pieces of driftwood, each one unique, interesting and amazing.
As I walked down the beach, I felt like Robinson Crusoe or a castaway member from Gilligan’s Island. There wasn’t a soul around, and it was very dystopian. I wandered through nature’s art gallery examining the different pieces of driftwood.
There were ancient trolls guarding the beach, dolphins leaping amongst the waves, sea turtles nesting on the beach, wolves howling into the wind and warriors lifting their swords high into the sky.
While my little lake at home is nothing like Driftwood Beach, I get a similar feeling of being an explorer when I paddle into our back lakes where there are no houses or cottages, just me and my kayak, the sun on the water and the herons, vultures and beavers keeping me company.
This week’s #HappyAct is to get lost on a deserted island or beach. Happy exploring.
Ancient trolls guarding the beach
Two wolves howling at the moon and a dolphin jumping in the waves
Photo caption: Yoyo and Ginsu in a standoff. We renamed Ginsu “Lil Putin” because he makes trouble everywhere he goes.
Those of you who know me well or who have followed this blog, know I am a dog lover. In the interests of diversity, equity and inclusion, I welcome the diverse perspective of cat people. I hope you enjoy this week’s post on cats from guest blogger and cat lover, Jill Yokoyama!
When Laurie first started writing her weekly blog I remember commenting on the name “happy act” and joking that she would have to do a “happy cat” post sometime. That day has arrived!
I have always been a “cat person” and growing up our family always had a cat or two as pets. For the last ten years, Gary & I have shared a home with our cat Yoyo. She is a run-of-the-mill brown tabby with lots of “cattitude” and one of Gary’s lines is “Careful, you can be replaced; there are 20,000 cats just like you in Hamilton…” Despite this joking threat, she has worked her way firmly into our hearts and we are endlessly amused by Yoyo.
After spending the last two years 24/7 observing Yoyo, here are some important life lessons from a cat:
Always take the opportunity for a long nap. Even if it seems like you just woke up from a nap, it’s never too early to consider another one.
Wallow in the sunshine whenever possible–close your eyes, stretch out and relax.
Spend a few minutes every day with your people, showing your love & affection for them.
Be curious about the world around you, whether it be the swirling flush of the toilet or what might be on the kitchen counter.
Take joy in small pleasures. Chase a piece of string around the house like it is your most precious treasure.
Defend yourself loudly and unreservedly when a bully comes around. Even if you are small, puff up your tail and fur and believe in your ability to take on a larger foe.
The second decade of the twenty-first century has been one that will go down in the history books that is for sure. I have made a conscientious effort to stay focused on the positive.
One of the positive things that has happened to me is the discovery of poetry. I really was not much of a poetry fan and have avoided it for most of my life. However, with most of my days spent in front of a screen, I needed something that was a departure from the digital “screen in your face” world.
I discovered Haiku. Funny enough I discovered my new appreciation for the art via social media, but then it morphed into a challenge for me. I started writing random thoughts using Haiku.
Haiku is a form of poetry that originates from Japan and consists of three phrases with a 5, 7, 5 syllable pattern.
I found a notebook I bought a few years ago while in York, England. So I already was starting from a happy memory of a place I love and it set the stage for my Haiku writing adventure. I would transport to somewhere else with my notebook and write. No big commitment needed, just let my mind wander and three sentences later a Haiku was born.
I started sending my friends some inspirational Haiku’s when they were having a tough day. Then I added it to notes in birthday cards and now it just calms my mind and a Haiku will pop into my head and I write it down. Here are a couple I wrote for this blog. Maybe you want to give it a try?
The quiet and calm Sun down, stars are appearing Night time once again
Find your Happy Act You may be surprised, who knew? A smile on your face
And for Laurie as she ends one chapter of her career and embarks on another:
It is not goodbye It is a new beginning It is happy times
Our Welli Boot Toss team in 1999. Kingston Brew Pub used to host a charity event in support of Hospice Kingston where you throw a Welli boot as far as you can. I threw my back out shortly after!
I’ve been awash in memories these past few weeks. After 27 years at Empire Life, I am taking early retirement and will begin a new job as Director of Development with the United Way of Kingston, Frontenac, Lennox and Addington in May.
I’m sure most people on the verge of retirement find themselves taking a trip down memory lane, but for me, it’s been a constant flood of memories since I’ve also been going through my company’s archives these last few months.
I’ve found pictures of me doing crazy things for charity, like jumping in Lake Ontario on December 31, 1999 for Y2K in the Polar Bear Plunge, dressing up for skits as part of our annual United Way campaign, and uncovering every lame Halloween costume I ever pulled together at the last minute. (I was notorious for lame Halloween costumes; it became a bit of a running gag between Dave and me.)
Jumping in Lake Ontario for charity on New Year’s Eve, Y2K
I also came across photos of people who have passed away, friends young and old who I still think about and miss to this day.
What I didn’t find were any pictures of me working. While I had an interesting and varied career, it won’t be memories of work that I’ll take away from my time at Empire; it will be the memories of the different events, fun times and people who made work-life happy and rich.
This week’s #HappyAct is to rifle through an old yearbook, photo album or drive and take a trip down memory lane. Here are some more of the favourite pictures I found.
Playing Dr. Evil in one of our United Way skits.Helping serve cake at our company’s 75th-anniversary celebrationsalmost 25 years agoJudging our annual Halloween contest–our President Doug is wearing Dave’s kilt!One of my lame Halloween costume pics, Queen Amidala from Star WarsOne of my best Halloween costumes of all time, KISS with fellow bandmates Jon Begg, Chris Seymour and Tracey Hunt. Any time I had a good Halloween costume it was because my co-workers took pity on me and helped with my costume and make-up
Happy Act 