Posted on in family, relationships

The funny thing about marriage

Two toilet paper rolls with faces and the words recycle me on them

I walked into the bathroom the other day and found two toilet paper rolls sitting on the counter with cartoonish frowny faces and the words “Recycle me” drawn on them. The one toilet paper character looked like it was giving me the finger.

I did the only logical thing, which was to take another toilet paper roll, cut it in half and make two little toilet paper roll children with the words “Mama” and “Dada” on them.

These are the types of love notes you send after 31 years of marriage.

Next weekend, Dave and I will celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary. In a funny twist of fate, we’ll be spending it up north at the same cottage we spent our honeymoon before going to Algonquin Park to see Grace.

I wish I had some brilliant insights about marriage but I don’t. After 31 years of marriage, I truly believe it’s a crap shoot whether people stay together or split up. We’ve just been lucky at crap.

The one thing I will say and they don’t tell you in marriage courses is marriage changes over time.

You start out madly in love and lust, then become each other’s best friends as you begin to build a life together. Children rock your world and your relationship takes second string as you focus on raising your kids.

You learn to live with each other’s foibles and idiosyncracies and intimately know each other’s aches and pains, regrets and dreams.

But if you’re lucky, you still wake up every morning not being able to imagine going through life without that person by your side, sharing a laugh or two, and planning your next adventure together.

Just make sure you recycle the toilet paper rolls and put the seat down before heading out.

Dave and me in South Carolina this year

Posted on in health and wellness, mental health, work

Revisiting the four-day work week

Me and my friend Barbara in front of the Thornbury sign

Recently, I’ve moved to a four-day work week. Dave started working four days a week a year ago. It’s all part of our plan to eventually transition into retirement.

I’ve worked a four-day week one other time during my career. It was a short span of three months when the kids were little and we had many doctors and other medical appointments. It was a lifesaver—the perfect mix of having a rewarding, vibrant career, but having enough time to focus on my family and friends and get things done at home.

I can tell you I already feel a difference in both my mental and physical health.

I feel more well-rested, my brain feels like it has more space to breathe, and I’m taking time more slowly.

I’m no longer rushing through the weekend, trying to squeeze in a million things before Sunday night arrives and I have to steel myself up to do it all over again.

I’m making more plans to do the things I want to do, whether it’s having a coffee on a Friday with a friend (a luxury!), tackling a project, a long weekend away, or just spending time with Dave on little day trips here and there.

I’m getting more exercise and already feeling the positive benefits of not sitting at a desk 8 hours a day which has increasingly become more difficult and painful over the past several years.

Yes, I’m liking this four day a week thing.

Now if only more employers would wake up and realize the benefits of a four-day work week and make it happen. The world would be a happier place.

The photo above is a picture of me and my girlfriend Barbara on one of my first three-day weekends this summer when I went to visit her in Thornbury. Read about our day at the Thornbury Cider Company to see the Clark Drag Show

Posted on in health and wellness, mental health, relationships

When the heart is heavy

heavy heart emoji

My heart has been heavy this past little while.

I’m fine and Dave and the girls are fine, but there are just too many people I care about that are getting kicked in the teeth by life right now. It’s making me feel overwhelmed and helpless.  

So what can you do when your happiness is being crushed by a heavy heart?

Hug your loved ones and tell them you love them every day.

Have a good cry if you need to.

Be grateful for friends, family, and the people who will be there when you need them most.

Try to find solace in the smallest joys and moments.

And bake a lot of banana bread*.

My heavy heart goes out to all of you right now, you know who you are.

*The banana bread reference is a funny story worth sharing to end this week’s blog with a smile, even if it is a sad smile. When my sister-in-law MaryAnne was sick, I brought food over every week for her and Mac. Their wonderful neighbours in Westport also dropped off meals and baked goods regularly. One day when I showed up with soup and some cookies, Mac said “As long as it isn’t another f**kin banana bread!”

Posted on in family, health and wellness, inspiration, lifestyle

Living the dream

Dr. Seuss sign on life and regrets

I have a couple of friends that when you ask them how’s it going, they always say sarcastically “Oh you know, just living the dream”.

Just once, wouldn’t it be nice if when we said, “Just living the dream” we meant it?

If we had time to pursue our passions instead of spending all of our time at work?

If we lived within our means without financial worry?

If we lived a life of purpose and service with all their intrinsic rewards?

If we lived life with zest instead of just existing?

If we were thankful every day for every blessing, big or small?

Sounds like a nice dream to me.

Posted on in dogs, family, Food and drink, travel

Visit a Farm

water buffalo in a big puddle

Last one in is a smelly Buffalo!

Yesterday, Dave and I visited the Ontario Water Buffalo Company farm and store in Stirling, Ontario.

We were greeted in the farm store by a young girl, who handed us a self-guided map and invited us to take a tour of this working farm.

Our tour guide was an Australian shepherd who led the way from paddock to pen to the various barns and milking stations.

dog in calf barn

The farm has a massive herd of 800 water buffalo and the paddocks are organized by age, with the adults, tweens and babies separated in the calf barn.

I was very taken by these interesting creatures. The babies in the calf barn were either very curious and friendly, eager for a pet or very shy, backing away from the stall when you went to touch them.

The adults were HUGE with massive teats, broad girths and some with devil horns that twisted around their head.

baby water buffalo

The farm operation was very modernized, with robotics in the milking barn that steered the cows into their stalls and automatic milkers that disconnected immediately as soon as the cows gave their 8-10 litres per day of milk.

We learned 15% of the world’s milk comes from water buffalo and an adult water buffalo can reach weights up to 2600 pounds.

milking stalls on farm

After our tour, we shopped in the farm’s Buff Stuff Store which carries every type of buffalo meat you can imagine from testicles (limit one per customer!), to liver, to beef patties and steaks and cheeses made from the buffalo milk, their most popular being their mozzarella di bufala, as well as jewelry and steins made out of buffalo horns.

After buying some buffalo burgers for the barbecue, we chatted with owners Martin Littkemanna and Lori Smith, whose young daughter was selling lemonade and homemade cookies to raise money for a friend whose mother was fighting cancer.

adult water buffalo

Dave asked about the different species of water buffalo, since when we were in Tanzania we had been warned that they could be aggressive. Martin explained there are two main types of water buffalo, river buffalo and swamp buffalo and the ones found on their farm are domesticated with a much more docile personality than the ones we saw in Africa.

Fall is a great time to tour a farm and many local communities host farm events. If you live in eastern Ontario, Open Farm Days in Frontenac County run from September 1 to October 15 and offer a huge array of back-to-the-farm experiences, some free for the whole family. For more information, see openfarms.ca.

water buffalo in pond
author kissing a water buffalo
Posted on in lifestyle, money

Eight tips for saving money

Cineplex Odeon $4 movie ad

I’ve been obsessed lately with the cost of living. I just got back from a girls’ weekend and I’m sure my friends were heartily sick of hearing me go on about prices and how expensive things are.

So I’ve decided to stop talking about money, and take action instead. Here are eight tips for saving money:

  1. Cash in rewards points.
  2. Look for special promotions and deals. For instance, in honour of National Movie Day, Cineplex, Landmark Cinemas and some independent movie theatres are offering $4 movie tickets this Sunday, August 27.
  3. Use up gift certificates sitting in your wallet.
  4. Review your streaming packages and tech and see if you can streamline your services. We haven’t made the leap yet to get rid of our landline and satellite TV, but with services now like Stack TV, now may be the time.
  5. Forage for food. This may sound drastic, but a few years ago, I made a pledge to start eating more off the land. In July I pick raspberries, in August, I make garlic scape pesto with my garlic scapes, and in the fall I pick apples from the local fields and make crisps and apple sauce. It’s not as crazy as it sounds.
  6. Look for “free” days and times at museums and exhibits. For instance, in Ottawa, the National Gallery of Canada, The Canadian War Museum, The Canadian Museum of History, The Canadian Museum of Nature and The Bytown Museum are all free on Thursday evenings from 5pm – 8pm
  7. Reduce food waste. Buy less perishable food, and get creative with leftovers. Stir fries, soups, quesadillas, burritos and bowls are all great ways to use up leftover meats and vegetables.
  8. If you need to buy something, consider used, which is also environmentally friendly. Fall is a great time for garage sales, or shop on Facebook marketplace. Luckily vintage clothing shops have come back into fashion.

How are you saving money in this crazy inflationary environment? Leave a comment. And be sure to read my earlier post “How to Not Spend Money and Still Have Fun”.

Posted on in health and wellness, Historical, inspiration, lifestyle

The secret to living well

mountain in Tibet

There is a Tibetan proverb that says,

“The secret to living well and longer is: eat half, walk double, laugh triple and love without measure.

I’ve had it backwards this past year.

I’ve been eating double, walking half, spending triple and watching Netflix without measure.

Time to start living well.

Posted on in dogs, health and wellness, lifestyle, nature

What’s your happy state?

Bentley wet and bedraggled at the lake

They say people resemble their dogs. This is definitely true for Bentley and me. During the summer months, we know it’s been a good day if we’re wet and bedraggled.

Bentley of course, wears the look much better than me. After a day of swimming at the lake, his gorgeous russet brown fur glistens in the sunshine, making swirly patterns on his back.

I’m more on the bedraggled side, but I come by this look naturally. I have fond memories of my Mom, wet and bedraggled after a day at the beach at Lake Simcoe.

She’s been gone almost 40 years now, but I can still picture her walking back from the beach, in beat up old running shoes filled with sand, her short brown hair tousled with a few strands falling across her face. She wore an old one-piece bathing suit with a towel draped around her neck with a big smile on her face. We were always happy up at that old beach cottage.

I think about my Mom as I trudge up our wooded path from the lake, my feet squishing in my crocs feeling clean and refreshed. I’m in my happy state, wet and bedraggled.

What’s your happy state?

Author at the lake with a towel draped around her neck
Posted on in entertainment, pop culture, travel

Bravo for local theatre

Thousand Island Playhouse building in Gananoque

We’re very fortunate to have a true gem in Canada right here in our backyard: the Thousand Islands Playhouse in Gananoque.

I fell in love with the Thousand Islands Playhouse the first time I ever laid eyes on it. A former canoe club, it’s situated at water’s edge on the shores of the St. Lawrence River. CBC Radio once called Canada’s dockside theatre “the most charming theatre in Canada”.

Dave and I went last week to The Sound of Music at the playhouse. We arrived early to enjoy a glass of wine and a beer on the wooden benches overlooking the river and watch the sunset.

The building itself has a wonderful, relaxed vibe. The lobby has swinging screen doors and old wooden floors with boards that creak. As we sat watching the boats on the river, we chatted with people from Gananoque whose neighbours’ kids were some of the Von Trapp children in the play. It is one of the most idyllic venues in Canada.

people on the deck of the playhouse looking at the water

I’ve seen many plays at the playhouse, but I was blown away by the quality of this particular production. I saw the Mirvish production of The Sound of Music in Toronto many years ago and enjoyed this one much more.

There is something about local regional theatre that is so intimate and engaging. You are up close and personal with the actors (there isn’t a bad seat in the house), and you become immersed in the performance.

It was an ambitious production with a cast of more than 40 actors and executed flawlessly. They even had two sets of children who must have alternated nights.

The leads were phenomenal with superb voices. I could have listened to the Mother Superior, Maria and Captain Von Trapp sing all night. The scenes with Maria and the children were simply enchanting. The costumes were impeccable and since you’re so up close, you can see every embroidered detail in the traditional Austrian dirndl and leather lederhosen.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that it is one of the most well-known, beloved stories of all time. Audience members were smiling, swaying in their seats and singing to their favourite songs, entranced by the performances.

Often with local theatre, you need to suspend your imagination to make the set design work, but this production was brilliant in its design. It featured majestic mountains as a backdrop and floor-to-ceiling porticos that transported you through the various scenes, making you feel like you were in the abbey, dancing at the Von Trapp estate and attending the famous music festival where the family makes their escape at the end of the play.

The Sound of Music is now officially the most popular production in the Thousand Islands Playhouse’s 40-year history. They’ve extended the run for another three weeks, so if you want tickets, get them fast.

This week’s #HappyAct is to support local theatre and enjoy a local production in your area.

view from the playhouse overlooking the river
author and her husband on the benches at the playhouse
Sound of Music Playbill
Posted on in charitable, community, entertainment, pop culture

Drag yourself to a drag show

drag queens on stage

When I grow up, I want to be a drag queen.

Last weekend, my friend Barbara and I went to the Clark’s Drag Show at the Thornbury Craft Company. It was part of Collingwood’s Pride celebrations which they hold in July instead of June presumably because that’s when the town is hopping with cottagers and summer visitors.

It had been more than 30 years since I had been to a drag show. The last time I had seen drag queens on stage was at a bar on the island of Mykonos in Greece when I was in my 20s.

It was such a fun afternoon! The three queens Katinka Kature, Heaven Lee Hytes, and Mira Fantasy strutted their stuff in their sequined outfits, leotards and stunning wigs, hamming it up for the crowd to their favourite pop tunes. There was a bachelorette party on the patio, and everyone was singing along, dancing in their seats as we sipped on our ciders and stuffed tips down their tops.

As I watched the queens perform, it struck me that to be able to assume an exciting, alter-ego would be so incredibly fun and liberating. It made me wish I was a man who could dress up as a woman. Since I can’t sing a note, this would be the perfect performing outlet for me!

drag queen performing

It also made me wonder why we just can’t accept people for who they are and appreciate them. I must confess I don’t understand and am saddened by the latest wave of 2SLGBTQ+ violence happening in some communities. Humanity is not defined by what we wear, the colour of our skin or our sexual orientation. It is defined by how we act, kindness, acceptance, and love.

As the queens performed their big finale, we raised our glasses in cheers. Portions from each flight were donated to Collingwood Pride.

Here are some fun pictures of the afternoon. If you’re interested in catching a drag show, The Hayloft Dance Hall in Prince Edward County holds drag shows on Saturday nights during the summer months.

man putting money down the top of a drag queen
Man and drag queen
drag queen
drag queen performing