A letter to my American friends

Canada Flag on the Rideau Canal

Dear friends. I hope you are well. I’m writing this letter to let you how very, very unhappy the people of Canada feel towards you right now.

I’ve enjoyed and valued our friendship over the years. Getting to know you at conferences and enjoying lively conversations over dinner and fun nights out exploring your cities, and the adventures during our travels in your beautiful country.

We’ve shared memories, values, and beliefs, but now it seems you want to pick a fight.

It hurts us when you refer to Canada as the 51st state and want to slap tariffs on all our goods, destroying decades of prosperous free trade for both our countries.

As Canadians, we feel hurt, betrayed, and angry.

If this is how you treat your friends, I shudder to think how you treat your enemies.

We understand your pain and frustration. During our travels, we’ve seen first-hand the economic decay of your country, from the derelict empty storefronts in your small towns to the abandoned factories and the “rust belt” of America.

You believe you will make America great again, a formidable global superpower. But you are misguided. The world has changed and your place has changed in it. Your power has waned. And while you think tariffs will restore your prosperity and place you at the top of the world pedestal of power, it won’t. That ship has sailed.

You’ve always sensed but never understood why the rest of the world dislikes you.

I remember years ago when I was backpacking in Europe hearing a young American boy say to someone, “Oh, you speak American!” The person replied, “No, I speak English”.

Later that night at the hostel, the European travellers tried to explain to him why Americans weren’t liked. That to the rest of the world, it always seemed like you had a chip on your shoulder, that you were arrogant.

That you meddled in other people’s affairs, sometimes overtly, sometimes covertly if there was something of value at stake like oil or natural resources, but were nowhere to be seen when wars or atrocities happened in poor countries.

I never knew if you didn’t know how people truly felt about you or if you knew but just didn’t care.

Some of you may be under the false impression that we are essentially the same, but you just have to look to our national anthems to understand how we are different. Yours is about battles and armaments with rockets glaring and bombs bursting in air. Ours is about patriot love, glowing hearts and being strong and free.

We will never be the 51st state. Canada will always be strong and free.

You have slapped us in the face, so we will look for new friends. Friends we can trade with, visit, and work with to create a better world.

I can’t help reflecting on two important anniversaries.

On February 24, 2022, Russian forces invaded the Ukraine. While the invasion was ordered by Vladimir Putin, the Russian people have been complicit in this flagrant breach of international law and aggression and have been silent. Perhaps they are misinformed, believing whatever propaganda their government is feeding them, or believing that if Ukraine had joined NATO it would somehow be a threat to Russia’s sovereignty. The bottom line is the Russian people have allowed it to happen.

January 27, 2025 marked the 80th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz. The liberation of this most famous of the concentration and extermination camps that killed six million Jews during the Second World War shed light on the atrocities and evil of Adolph Hitler and the Nazi regime.

The German people could have prevented Hitler’s rise to power, but they too stood silent despite early signs. In November, 1923 the Nazi Party led by Adolf Hitler attempted to overthrow the government using violence. It resulted in Hitler’s arrest and a temporary ban on the Nazi Party. And yet, the German people voted for the Nazi Party a decade later when Adolph Hitler was appointed Chancellor.

Hitler systematically destroyed democracy in Germany in his first two months of power through constitutional means by changing laws or looking for weakness in laws. The German people did nothing.

My American friends, you don’t have the excuse of not knowing what is happening in your own country. And you have the power to do something about it. You still live in a democratic society. For now.

Take action. Write to your elected representatives. Organize or join a protest. Refuse to implement edicts that hurt others, either within your own country or outside its borders. Don’t turn your back on Canada. Don’t turn your back on the world.

I wanted to end this letter by sharing this photo of our Canadian flag being unfurled yesterday in Ottawa, on its 60th birthday. We are and always will be #CanadaStrong.

P.S. Please know when we are booing your national anthem at sporting events, we are not booing the players, the team, or your anthem. We are raising our voices in political protest to be heard. Make your voice heard too.

Canada flag in Ottawa

Reflections on life and happiness from my Tanzanian philosopher friend

Author, her husband and guide from Access2Tanzania in the Serengeti

They say people come into your life for a moment, a day, or a lifetime. Sometimes it’s for a week.

In 2013, Dave and I took the trip of a lifetime to Tanzania. We spent a week in Arusha, the Ngorongora Crater and the Serengeti before flying to Zanzibar for four days in the Indian Ocean. The image of thousands of zebras and wildebeest migrating across the plains of the Serengeti is still seared in my mind.

Our local guide was Fulgence Kenedy, a sweet, soft-spoken young father with a beautiful smile, a twinkle in his eye and wicked sense of humour. We became fast friends, bonding over parenthood, our love of nature, and Justin Bieber (don’t ask). Over the years, we’ve kept in touch with Fulgence through Facebook and Facebook messenger.

Our trip to Tanzania was one of the things that inspired this blog. In a nation that had so little, we were struck by how warm, funny, and happy the people were and it made me reflect even more on what makes people happy.

Over the years, as we enjoyed the videos and pictures Fulgence shared online of him on safari, I noticed his posts were often accompanied by inspirational messages of love, hope and joy.

Here are some reflections on life, love and happiness from my Tanzanian philosopher friend Fulgence:

“Don’t plan too much, life has its own plans for you. Remember that some of the most beautiful moments of your life are unplanned.”

“Every sunset is an opportunity to reset and brings a new promise of dawn. You cannot stop the sunrise.”

“One day, I was surprised when I came home from church with my neighbour. When we had nearly reached home, she poured warm water* on me and wished me happy birthday. The question was, how did she keep the water warm all the time we were in church? It’s all because of love.”
*I asked Fulgence why his neighbour poured water on him on his birthday—he says it’s like when a child is baptized and is an act of love and acceptance

“Life doesn’t allow us to go back and fix what we have done wrong in the past, but it does allow us to live each day better than the last.”

“To succeed in life you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”

“The hardest test in life is the patience to wait for the right moment.”

“Everyone has a reason why you’re in this world, but to be in this world you pass through several people and make them happy or leave a wound in their heart…the bridge to cross is just a few short words. Sorry. I forgive you. Most of us don’t know how to say that when we hurt others. It’s time to love and care for others like you love and care for yourself.”

And finally,

“Happiness is a medicine”

I’ll leave you with this classic Fulgence joke. He asked me, “Laurie, do you know how to tell a male zebra from a female zebra? The male zebra is black with white stripes. The female zebra is white with black stripes.”

Ed. note: If you’re thinking of going to Africa on safari, we highly recommend you book with Access2Tanzania. Casey and the team here in North America will customize a trip for you. Ask for Fulgence—he’s featured on their website.

Zebras in the serengeti

One of my favourite photos: a pair of zebras in the Serengeti. Fulgence shared they will rest their heads on each others’ backs so they can see predators from any direction. Can you tell the male from the female?

A winter celebration at Rideau Hall

Author and winterlude mascots outside of Rideau Hall

Yesterday, my South Frontenac Stocksport Club at the invitation of the Austrian embassy in Ottawa participated in a Winter Celebration at Rideau Hall as part of Winterlude, followed by dinner at the Austrian ambassador’s house.

It was a frosty bone-chilling day—one of the smiling volunteers who greeted us had icicles hanging from his moustache!, but the sun was shining, the skies were blue and everyone was in high spirits despite the looming threat of a trade war brewing with the US.

Even though I lived in Ottawa for a year, I had never been to the residence of the Governor General located in the beautiful Rockcliffe neighbourhood near the Prime Minister’s residence. The original stone villa was built in 1838 by Thomas MacKay who was one of the contractors on the Rideau Canal. Rideau Hall has been home to the Governor General, the Queen’s representative in Canada every year since Confederation. Rideau Hall is free to tour year-round, although reservations are required in the off-season.

I took a break from helping demonstrate ice stock (for more on the sport of ice stock, see this post) to tour the expansive grounds. There were booths and exhibits from several embassies and organizations. The Embassy of Finland had kicksledding, the Embassy of Norway skiing, and the Embassy of the Kingdom of the Netherlands showcased Dutch shuffleboard.

All the booths were handing out free treats and drinks native to their country and there were live musical performances and dancing . Since our club was set up on Rideau Hall’s skating rink, a nice alternative when the canal is chock-a-block full of people, we got to see a figure skating demonstration presented by Can-Skate Canada.

At one point, the Governor General herself, Her Excellency the Right Honourable Mary Simon came by, threw a stock and had her picture taken with our club members. I met her husband Whit Fraser and enjoyed petting their friendly lab pup Neva. I later saw them watching an Indigenous square dance at one of the other exhibits. You can learn more about the incredible work Mary Simon and her husband have done on Indigenous and northern issues on the Governor General’s website.

Our Stocksport Club with the Governor General

Above: Our Stocksport Club with Her Excellency, Mary Simon, the Governor of General, pictured third from the right. Below: our club President, Karl Hammer chats with her excellency and representatives from the Austrian embassy

Governor General Mary Simon and Karl Hammer, president of the South Frontenac Stocksport Club

Everyone was so lovely and kind, and I enjoyed meeting people from all over the region—students, government workers, military and security personnel who braved the cold to enjoy the outdoor activities.

After the event was over, we went to the Austrian ambassador’s house for a delicious Austrian meal of goulash, gluwhhein or glogg, a mulled wine, and fluffy Austrian pastry. Our hosts were His Excellency Andreas Rendl and his lovely wife Ava, and I enjoyed chatting with them to learn more about a day in the life of an ambassador and their experiences in Canada, their final posting before Andreas retires in a few years.

It was a wonderful day and experience and made me especially proud to be Canadian on a day that I’m sure will define us as a nation in the years ahead.

This week’s #HappyAct is twofold: visit one of Canada’s beautiful heritage properties or museums and get out and enjoy the last vestiges of winter since according to the groundhog, it will be an early spring! Winterlude continues in Ottawa from now until February 17.

man skating on ice
Indigenous dancing at Rideau Hall

Her Excellency Mary Simon watching Indigenous dancing at Rideau Hall

Rideau Hall in Ottawa
People in the living room of the Austrian embassy
men standing in front of a fireplace

Karl Hammer, President of our South Frontenac Stocksport Club with our unofficial club ambassador Tyler, with Andreas Rendl, the Austrian ambassador to Canada.

The art of pushing

Woman skating on a frozen lake

As humans, we are constantly in a state of internal conflict. Indulge (and then usually feel guilty about it) or abstain, get up and move or laze on the couch, push ourselves outside our comfort zone or stay within the confines and comfort of routine.

It is an art and balance we need to master in order to be happy.

With age comes a new wrinkle in this ever-changing struggle of understanding and respecting your physical limitations.

As I’ve aged, I’ve tried to navigate the art of pushing by deciding what is important to me, and what I enjoy doing with realistic expectations of what I’m capable of doing.

I’ve never been one of those extreme sports enthusiasts or had any desire to push myself to the limit, whether its running, car racing or facing the wilds. For me, it’s not about iron mans, marathons or the Canadian Death Race (yes, it’s an actual ultramarathon held in Alberta each year in the Rockies where a very small field of 1,000 certifiably insane racers run non-stop for 24 hours through the mountains, sponsored by sinistersports.ca—the name itself should send you running and screaming in the opposite direction.)

My idea of a fun afternoon is skating and ice fishing on my lake, followed by a nice glass of Merlot in front of my woodstove while watching the Bills hopefully beat the Chiefs tonight.

The art of pushing for me is forcing myself to continue to do the things I love to do and not kill myself.

Now, when we go on an interior canoe trip to Algonquin Park, we plan a route that doesn’t involve portaging or we might rent an outpost cabin.

I still love to hike, play hockey and skate on lakes, but my days of doing pirouettes, lunges, or racing like crazy to beat the neighbours’ kids to the puck are over.

I will continue to push myself to experience new things, new places and meet new people even if it feels awkward at first.

Martin Luther King said, “Keep pushing forward, even when the path is uncertain, for greatness awaits those who persist”.

Well, if not greatness, hopefully a nice glass of Merlot.

Office etiquette 101: dishing the dirt on topics that no one talks about at work

Half-eaten muffin

I could have never written this blog post when I was working, but now that I’m retired and office etiquette is a distant memory, I can finally dish the dirt on some behaviours at work that definitely don’t make your co-workers happy.

These aren’t your typical “don’t be late for a meeting”, “answer chats in a timely fashion”, or “stay home when you’re sick” etiquette tips. These are the dastardly things people do at work that everyone is afraid to talk about.

Start the new year off fresh by avoiding these office faux pas:

  • Eating the top of a muffin and leaving the bottom half in the box (yes, this actually happened to me during my last few weeks of work)
  • Leaving a jam in the photocopier
  • Listening to music or podcasts without earphones on
  • Being a chatty Cathy so much that people can’t get their work done
  • Eating loudly at your desk: I’ve had office mates who’ve crunched potato chips at 10 in the morning
  • Eating foods with strong odours like fish
  • Taking somebody else’s food or drinks (newsflash, it’s stealing)
  • Placing dirty dishes in the sink for someone else to clean up
  • Listening to people’s private phone conversations. Sometimes this is impossible to avoid, but always pretend like you didn’t hear anything unless your co-worker comments on the conversation. NEVER ask questions or insert yourself into the conversation.
  • Quick poll: Walking around the office without your shoes on. This never bothered me, but I know it’s taboo in some offices. How do others feel about this one?
  • And the ultimate, most disgusting habit that no one ever talks about but needs to be called out: leaving streaks in the toilet. I mean, c’mon. Who does that? Have you never heard of a courtesy flush?

Remember, as Michael Scott from The Office, said “If you don’t know who the annoying person in the office is… you’re it”. 

Of course, if you are one of the lucky few still working remotely, the only co-worker you probably have to worry about offending is of the four-legged variety. Yet another case for remote work.

Have a happy work week everyone!

It’s okay to be sad

happy and sad face pictures

People don’t talk about being sad anymore. They talk about being unhappy, struggling with their mental health or being depressed, but they don’t talk about being sad.

It’s like the word has been eradicated from our vocabulary.

This is a dangerous and disturbing trend because it presupposes that when we are sad, we have an illness or problem, when sadness is a natural emotion.

The other day I asked a friend how they were doing after spending the first Christmas without their Mom. My friend naturally admitted there were times she was sad, missing her mother very much.

Last week, we dropped Clare off at the airport in Ottawa. We knew it would be the last time we would see her until spring, and I was very sad for a day or two, missing her terribly as we returned to a quiet, empty house.

Author and happiness researcher Helen Russell in “How to Be Sad” says that in order to be happy, you need to allow yourself to be sad sometimes, but most people are terrified of being sad.

Exacerbating the problem is society’s newfound hyper-focus on mental health. We are so focused on mental health that there is a propensity to self-diagnose a deeper issue or problem when we may just be in fact, experiencing temporary, normal sadness.

We are often sad when we experience grief or loss, all inescapable emotions in life. If we are sad, it is because we’ve been blessed to have held something dear and joyous.

For example, as a parent, it is hard to watch your child experience heartbreak, but if they are sad from having their heart broken, it means they have lived and loved, and sadness and heartbreak are all part of the process of loving and finding the right person.

So the next time you find yourself feeling a little down, remember it’s okay to be sad.

Sweet serendipity makes for happy travels

Air India Memorial in Sheep's Head, Ireland

It’s January, the month millions of Canadians scour travel sites like Expedia, Travelzoo and Skyscanner looking for the best deals on trips south and overseas.

I’m always of two minds when I travel. Part of me wants to have a wide open itinerary and let faith and sweet serendipity dictate my travels. The other part, the realist in me, recognizes that you’d be crazy if you didn’t at least book accommodations in advance to reduce stress and so you know you have a bed to sleep in at night.

I know someone who has to have every minute detail planned to the last minute when they travel. It’s almost become an obsession. They know what activities they will do, where they will eat and even what they are going to eat based on the restaurants’ online menus.

Personally, I think that takes some of the fun out of travelling.

Some of the most amazing days and experiences on my travels have been a result of sweet serendipity.

I remember when my best friend Leslie and I went to England and Wales for our 40th birthdays. We booked three days in London and one B&B in Bakewell in the north in advance, but that was it. We left the rest up to chance.

One night, as we were driving south through Wales, it seemed our strategy might backfire when we were unable to find accommodation. It was getting late and we finally ended up in this tiny village called Howie where we had the best Thai meal at our B&B followed by a night at the pub drinking with the locals.

The locals in the bar asked us if we had seen the Morris Men dancers in town that day. We hadn’t. Morris dancing is an ancient folk dance in the UK where bands of merry men enter villages and towns with bells and dance for the townsfolk. We drank to our bad luck, then packed our bags and headed south back into England to the tiny town of Arundel.

As we checked into the quaint B&B we were staying for the night, the host asked us if we had come to see the flowers. “What flowers?”, we asked. Once a year for three days in May, Arundel Cathedral is adorned with thousands of flowers along the aisle leading up to the altar. There is a different design each year and people come from hundreds of miles to visit the church.

Counting ourselves lucky to land in the town the exact same day the flowers were on display, we headed to the church. It was stunning. After we left the church, what did we see? The merry Morris dancers, performing in the town square. Pure serendipity.

For our 50th birthdays, we spent two weeks travelling around Ireland. My favourite day by far was the day we ventured off the beaten path to tour around one of the deserted peninsulas, The Sheep’s Head, which juts off south of the town of Bantry into the Atlantic Ocean.

As we traversed the desolate windswept shoreline, we stumbled upon a memorial for the Air India crash in 1985. We hadn’t seen it in any guidebooks (most guidebooks don’t even mention this head), but it was a spectacular, moving stop and one of the highlights of our trip.

Yes, sometimes the best plan is to have no plan at all.

This week’s #HappyAct is to remember to leave some things up to chance as you start making your travel plans in 2025. Happy travels!

flowers in Arundel Church

Above: the Air India Memorial in Sheep’s Head, Ireland and the carpet floral display at Arundel Cathedral in England

The top 12 Happy Acts of 2024

Author at a work booth before their retirement

Another year of happy acts have come and gone. Here is my round-up of the top happy acts of 2024. Happy reading!

On climate change, work, and the world we live in

Inspiration and mental health

On parenting, retirement and my friend Harry

Walking in a winter wonderland

Pine trees in snow

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where treetops glisten
And children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow

Outside snowflakes are falling
Our sleds and skis in tow
A sense of joy fills the air
We haven’t a care
Playing in a wonderland of snow

The lake is frozen over
The world is frosty and grand
Birds share their singsong
As we sing along
In a wintery fairy land

Love and happiness surround us
As we stroll hand in hand
It’s a beautiful sight
All is merry and bright
Walking in a winter wonderland

The world is peaceful and quiet
A bed of fresh fallen snow
The sky sparkles with light
Before the still, silent night
With lights all warm and aglow

So throw your arms up to the sky
In the snow on Christmas day
May it be merry and bright
Every Christmas be white
And all your troubles be far away

Ed note: Living in Eastern Ontario, it’s not Christmas without snow. It will be a white Christmas this year and that makes me happy. I took these photos on one of my walks this week after a fresh snowfall and wrote this mash-up of several favourite Christmas songs that includes lyrics from Irving Berlin’s White Christmas, Sarah McLachlan’s Wintersong, It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas by Meredith Willson and Sleigh Ride by Leroy Anderson, plus a few verses of my own. If you’re a musician, feel free to put them to music!

I hope everyone has a very peaceful and joyous Christmas. Be sure to check back for next week’s #HappyAct, my annual round-up of top happy acts of 2024.

tree with snow and blue sky
snow covered trees
Swamp covered in snow
Dog on a snowy lane

So this is Christmas

Writers group at Kingston Seniors Association

So this is Christmas, and what have you done?

On Friday, at my last writer’s group meeting of 2024, one of our group members Joanne wanted to share something she had written in the spirit of the season. She called it “So this is Christmas” and started with the immortal verse John Lennon wrote more than 40 years ago during the Vietnam War for the song Happy Xmas/War is Over.

As Joanne read her heartfelt piece of thanks and gratitude, I looked around the room and thought about how grateful I was to be a part of this interesting group of people and how much I have learned from them in the four short months since I joined the group.

I’ve learned about botany, the undercover world of police work and drug busts, life in the Congo in the 1950s, the wild ponies in the New Forest in Hampshire, growing up on the Isle of Wight and so much more.

Some of us are writing novels, others short stories, and some their memoirs. All of us share a love and passion for writing.

But as much as writing brought us together, it is the people and camaraderie that make us come back each week.

There’s Franklin, our kind, patient leader who reminds us he will ring the bell if we go over time when sharing our work, but hasn’t rung it once since I’ve joined.

There’s Dorothy Anne, our skilled master, always with an encouraging word, tip or suggestion to improve our writing.

There’s Wayne, our pastry muse who scours the local bakeries to feed our minds and souls and lets us choose not just one, but two delectable treats, one to eat in class and one to take home.

There’s Sister Maureen, Greta and Pamela who honour us by sharing a glimpse into the fascinating lives they’ve lived each week.

There’s Mo, who shared such a moving piece a few weeks ago describing the sounds of a home filled with children, and the heartbreaking silence when they become adults and move out, that it took three members to finish reading it as each person welled up with tears.

As I was thinking about this group and Joanne’s words, she shared this, “It’s true we cannot change what is happening around the world and often not even in our own communities, so we may think, ‘Why bother?’ or ‘What can I do?’. The answer is plenty, and it all starts with kindness.”

So, this is Christmas. What have you done? Another year is over and a new one begun. Let’s all take a page from my writer’s group, and start the year with kindness.