Tag: goals

Posted on in ageing, health and wellness, Hobbies, lake living, mental health, writing

Live or let die

Heart drawn in the snow on a frozen lake

There comes a time in your life when you have to decide which of your dreams you want to let live and which of your dreams you are ready to let die.

When I was a teenager, I dreamed of performing in a symphony orchestra. I wasn’t talented enough at the flute so I let that dream die.

I also dreamed of learning to play the piano. We didn’t have a piano in our house, and my parents didn’t have enough money to buy one, so I put that dream on hold until my children took lessons. I signed up to take lessons with them and still play to this day. Check one for the live category.

When Dave and I were first married, we dreamed of buying a lakefront cottage. We never bought a cottage, but we did realize our dream of living on water when we moved to our lakefront property almost 25 years ago.

Sometimes your dreams change. At one time in my life, I dreamed of parachuting out of an airplane. We had planned to do the jump on our tenth wedding anniversary, but then I got pregnant (you can’t jump out of an airplane pregnant) and we started raising a family. Now that I’m older, I’m perfectly fine with letting that dream die. (I mean what was I thinking? Really? Jumping out of an airplane!)

I have many fantasies that fall into the “what I would do if I had all the money in the world” category. Fantasies is all they are and I’m perfectly fine knowing that’s all they’ll ever be.

There is one dream I’m not willing to let die. I want to be published. Something. Anything. And this blog doesn’t count. I’m not ready to let go of that dream yet so I will work hard in the next few years to make it happen.

It’s okay to let some of your dreams die. The only crime would be to not have dreams at all.

Posted on in ageing, arts, Historical, inspiration, writing

It’s never too late

First-time author Lois Tryon

Sometimes when I get down on my writing, I think of Frank McCourt.

McCourt is best known for his novel Angela’s Ashes which won a Pulitzer Prize in 1997 (one of the most depressing books of all time). What’s interesting about McCourt is he didn’t start writing until he was in his 60’s and published Angela’s Ashes when he was 66.

I read another of his autobiographies, ‘Tis which chronicled his time teaching in the New York City public school system for 30 years. McCourt said while he was working, he had no energy and brain power left at the end of the day to tackle creative writing projects. It was only when he retired did he find the drive and creativity to write his series of award-winning novels.

I was reminded of this yesterday when Dave sent me a text that said “It’s never too late” with a link to an article in last week’s The Kingston Whig-Standard. The article was about a first-time author who at the age of 98 just published a book of poetry about living at Kingsbridge Retirement Community.

Lois Tryon started writing poems to while away the time, and the staff at the retirement residence had the idea to insert her poems in the daily menus to inspire her fellow residents.

This week’s #HappyAct is to remember it’s never too late. If you’re feeling like you should be further ahead in life, or in achieving your goals, keep at it. Here are some more examples of people who achieved greatness later in life:

  • Colonel Harland Sanders of KFC fame was 62 when he franchised his famous secret chicken recipe and opened his first restaurant
  • Julia Child didn’t publish her groundbreaking cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking until she was 50.
  • Ray Kroc was a milkshake device salesman until at the age of 52 when he bought McDonalds and turned it into the world’s largest franchise
  • Henry Ford was 45 when he created the Model T in 1908
  • The great Morgan Freeman didn’t make it big in acting until he was in his 50s.

Photo of Lois Tryon by Elliott Ferguson, Kingston Whig-Standard

Posted on in inspiration, pop culture

What’s your field of dreams?

Last week, Major League Baseball paid tribute to the 1989 movie Field of Dreams by holding a baseball game between the New York Yankees and Chicago White Sox in the same Iowa corn field where the movie was filmed 30 years ago.

Just like they did in the movie, the players emerged one by one from the corn field, led by actor Kevin Costner who addressed the crowd. It was an emotional moment. You could see the wonder and joy in the players’ faces as they took the field, and you knew Costner and the players would never forget this moment.

The themes of Field of Dreams have endured: themes of family, forgiveness, redemption, and the importance of following your dreams no matter how crazy people think you are.  

If you build it, they will come.

What’s your field of dreams?

Posted on in Uncategorized

The most important blog post you’ll ever read: the secret to happiness

Sign secret to happinessWhen I first started this blog, I said there was no secret to happiness. Rather, happiness was a state of being and to be happy, you had to do happy acts and seek joy in every day moments.

Well, after a year of #HappyActs, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I lied.

I believe there is a secret to happiness, and I was lucky enough to stumble upon this pearl of wisdom a few years ago while reading a bathroom book in a bookstore in Chatham, Massachussetts.

The premise of the book was simple: in order to be happy, you need to have low expectations. I remember laughing when I first read that because it goes against everything we are taught, which is to be ambitious, set goals, and have high expectations. But the stark truth and simplicity of this philosophy slowly started to sink in and I have tried to live by this adage ever since.

Have you ever wondered why on sites like TripAdvisor, you read a review of someone who stayed at the same hotel or bed and breakfast as you did, and you thought the place was just fine, but they panned it? It all comes down to expectations.

If you have low expectations, you will always be happy with your lot in life. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t set goals and work towards them. On the contrary, anyone will tell you having goals and dreams is critical to having a purpose and feeling fulfilled in life.

Let’s take the example of an Olympic athlete to illustrate this point. Olympic athletes set lofty goals: to be the best in their sport, medal and to be standing on that podium. They work extremely hard to get there, making huge sacrifices to see this dream come true. But when you hear them interviewed, their expectations can be very different—they may expect to finish in the top 10, or beat their best time. And when they don’t get the gold, they are happy with their achievement.

This week’s #HappyAct is to dream big, work hard towards your dreams, but make a conscious effort to have low expectations for yourself. Note I said yourself, not others. Continue to have high expectations of others and they will rise to the occasion. What do you think is the key to happiness (other than doing one happy act a week!)? Leave a comment.

Interested in hearing more? Watch this TedTalk with Barry Schwartz, “The Paradox of Choice”.