Tag: teenagers

Posted on in arts, entertainment, health and wellness, mental health

Need a little patience

If patience is a virtue, then we are at risk of transforming into a generation of sinners.

If you live with teenagers or twentysomethings, you’ll know what I mean. Put the lid back on the toothpaste tube? They ain’t got no time for that. Zip up a bag of Pretzel chips? That’s takes a nanosecond too long, time that could be spent watching endless reels or snap chatting their friends. So what if the $8 bag of chips go stale. The bank of Mom and Dad will pay for it.

And don’t get me started on tech. Since I’m pretty good with software every now and then, one of my kids will ask for my help with something on their computer. I take my time working the problem, navigating through menus, and usually figure it out, but after thirty seconds, they complain that I’m taking too long and rip the computer out of my hands. They’ve learned it’s better to leave the room and do something else while I figure it out.

I can’t blame them really. They are the “instant generation”. They’ve grown up being able to download music or movies on demand, order an item and have it show up on their doorstep the next day, and talk to someone 24-7 when they need help.

And as much as I like to blame my kids for everything, I have to admit it’s not just them. Everyone seems less patient these days. On the roads. Waiting in line at fast food outlets. Even in conversations.

This is a problem. When an entire society or culture becomes less patient, it tends to be less kind. Less empathetic. Less caring. In our rush to move on to the next best thing, we forget to see and appreciate what’s in front of us.

Impatience can also lead to errors in judgement. We don’t take the time to get all the facts, understand the implications of decisions and consider alternatives.

This week’s #HappyAct is to take a deep breath, and find a little patience.

And for you Ted Lasso fans out there, here’s Jason Sudeikis playing the water bottle and singing Guns N’ Roses’ Patience at Thundergong 2020. Season 4 of Ted Lasso is now streaming on AppleTV.

Posted on in family, humour, relationships

Advice on how to train a teenager

two teenage girls

While normally each week on this blog I share a small act of happiness, from time to time I’ve used this platform to ask for advice in my own personal quest for happiness. This week, I ask you dear readers, to share your insights and advice on how to train a teenager.

Yes, both my girls are teenagers now, and as teenagers go, they are great kids. Respectful, hardworking, funny and driven. I love them to bits.

My beefs are small things, like not making a mess on the bathroom counter, putting their dishes in the dishwasher instead of the sink, wasting food, and remembering to do chores like taking out the garbage.

A couple of weeks ago I got the garbage ready in the morning and left it at the door. All my teenager had to do was pick it up, put it in her car, and drop it off at the end of the driveway on the way to work. I reminded her twice the night before and was pleasantly surprised when she grabbed it without needing to be reminded in the morning. It turns out she forgot to stop and put it out at the end of the driveway, took it to work where it sat in her car in 30-degree heat all day, then put it back in the barn when she got home without telling me. A raccoon got into it, and I spent the whole next day cleaning up the stinky mess in the barn.

Now, as a parent, I’d rate my overall performance at a solid 5. I’ve loved my kids, I’ve been there for them as much as possible, but other than that, I’ve barely scraped by. And I’ve definitely had failing marks when it comes to training them to do things like putting their dishes in the dishwasher.

So how do you train a teenager?

I thought of treats, but making them sit and beg for Smarties or Hostess Cupcakes seems a bit degrading.

Punishment seemed a bit harsh for their transgressions and I learned early on taking their devices away is like cutting off an arm. Plus you’re really just punishing yourself since you have to put up with a grumpy bored teenager nagging you all week.

Then a few years ago, I had an evil, wonderful epiphany. I realized if I’m going to punish the little twerps for bad behaviour, I might as well get something I want out of it.

Most of the time, I’ll assign them chores I don’t feel like doing. But last week I hit a new low—I confiscated my daughter’s alcohol. I’ve been enjoying Grace’s delicious Smirnoffs Peach Bellini coolers by the lake. I know I should be ashamed, and have a moment of two of remorse, but then the sun comes out, I have another refreshing sip, and dive in the lake.

Here’s the rub. Whatever I do, it doesn’t make a difference.

I remember when I was pregnant, I listened to one of those parenting tapes. The psychologist shared a story of how he spent years reminding his teenager to take out the garbage until one week, she finally did it on her own. He described it as a success, which I thought was funny given it took years for the kid to finally see it as their responsibility and actually remember to do it.

His message was they’ll eventually grow up, take responsibility and become adults. But in the meantime, my bathroom is a mess and I’m a glorified maid.

So dear readers, tell me and make me happy, how do you train a teenager? Leave a comment!