Some people believe there are angels who walk amongst us. I’m not sure if that’s true but it’s comforting to think that when our loved ones pass away, they ascend to a heavenly place, then send guardians to watch over us and be by our side here on earth.
We found this beautiful angel in Dave’s sisters’ Christmas decorations earlier this month.
At first, I put it aside to give away, but as I went through all her pretty trinkets and baubles, many from a trip MaryAnne took to Germany’s Christmas markets several years ago, I found myself drawn to this particular angel.
The detail is exquisite, from her dainty hands holding a long silver horn to the magnificent wings etched in glitter and flowing silver cape. Her porcelain face, with expressive eyes and red, slightly upturned lips exudes calmness, love and peace. She has quickly become my favourite Christmas decoration and watches over us in our sunroom.
I’m not sure if every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings, but at this most joyous time of year, let us believe there are angels amongst us.
The neighbour’s annual Christmas holiday gathering 2021
Last week after I wrote my blog, I went for a nice walk in the snow to look for the eagles that soar over our lake this time of year. I slipped on a slight skiff of snow on ice and fell and broke my ankle. Two trips to the hospital, one surgery, a cast and crutches later, I’m now staring down 6-8 weeks of sitting on my couch with all our holiday plans scuppered.
As the week wore on, we started getting calls and texts from neighbours who said they were planning to pop by with food. Not just food, full meals of pork roast and potatoes, Morroccan chicken with salad, pulled pork, beef brisket, ribs and chicken wings and treats and wine. We have enough food in the fridge now to last until Christmas without having to cook a meal!
We’ve always been blessed with best neighbours. As a kid growing up in Port Credit, our neighbourhood and the people in it were our entire world. All the neighbourhood kids hung out together playing street hockey in the winter and baseball in the summer. The Moms of the Neighbourhood were a powerful posse, watching over and taking care of us. On the one hand, it was great. If you needed help–you could knock on any door, but the downside was there were about 25 other parents watching your every move who could get you in trouble!
I appreciated this amazing group of women even more as a teenager when my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. For seven years, they visited, brought us food and helped drive my Mom to appointments, and then doing the same for my father after she passed away.
In 1995, Dave and I made a huge leap of faith and moved to a small farmhouse outside of the village of Sydenham where we didn’t know a soul. Our first two sets of neighbours were a family of sheep farmers and a single guy, a military communications officer named Kramer.
Kramer was like the Kramer of Seinfeld fame with a big personality and a big heart, but with a lot less hair. He would show up at our door out of the blue with a whiskey bottle in hand or come for dinner, and stay until the wee hours of the morning. We’d push him out the back door, watching him stumble and weave across the lawn in the moonlight and up the steps until he was home safe.
On the other side of us was a lovely family of five called the Orsers. They too became fast friends and we’d visit back and forth, especially during lambing season when Dave and I would spend hours in their barn, petting and holding the baby lambs. During the ice storm of ’98 when we lost power for two days, Neil and Pat and the kids all bunked down at our house since we had a wood stove.
When Kramer moved to the Wasaga Beach area, we said our sad goodbyes and welcomed new neighbours into our midst: a young couple by the name of Jeff and Karrie. Jeff and Karrie became some of our closest friends. It was Jeff who found our beloved cat Angus dead, hit by a car on the road and gently put him in a box and broke the news to us when we came home from work. It was Jeff and Karrie who babysat Grace for the first time, giving us our first afternoon out as new parents. They live in Edmonton now—our kids are all grown up, but we still keep in touch.
When we made the move from Sydenham to Verona, we thought the same thing: there is no way we’ll ever have such great neighbours, but yet again, we were wrong. Our one neighbour Mark Berry reminded me so much of my Dad who had passed away just after we moved into our beautiful lakefront property.
Mark was the inventor of the “unbirthday party”. He’d putter over to our house on his tractor bearing gifts for us and the kids “just because”. His dog Buddy became best friends with our border collie, even sleeping some nights on our deck in our lawn chairs in the summer. We were very sad when he moved back to Toronto to be closer to his children.
Fast forward to today, when once again we have the best neighbours ever. Through the years, our little tight-knit community has grown even closer. Whether it’s popping by for a drink, getting together to celebrate one of the kids’ birthdays next door, graduation celebrations, Canada Day fireworks, or our Christmas Eve tradition of gathering at one of our houses, our time spent together has become some of my favourite memories here on the lake.
They’ve become extended family, and have been a huge life support for us, especially this year. I honestly don’t know what we would have done without them.
So thanks my dear friends and neighbours, for your love and support, friendship and all the delicious food that is now overspilling from my fridge. I look forward to sharing many more precious memories in the years ahead with my favourite neighbours, the best neighbours in the world!
Clare trick or treating with the neighbours’ kids this year
We finally decorated the house for Christmas this weekend. Twenty minutes in, Clare shook her head in disgust and asked, “Can someone become Jewish?”
You see my family doesn’t approve of my decorating skills which are somewhere between a cross of Clark Griswold and anything on the Worst Tacky Decorated Homes for the Season list. Last year after we were done, and I asked everyone how the house looked, Clare surveyed the room blandly and said, “It looks like Christmas barfed up all over the house.”
So this year I tried to take their criticism to heart and not put out every broken ceramic Santa and faded snowman cushion.
The one area I refuse to scale back on is tree decorations. Every year when we open up the box with the ornaments for the tree, Clare says we have way too much and should throw some of it away. But I can’t. To me, our battered old green box is a treasure trove of memories. Each ornament tells a story of a different period in our lives.
There are ornaments I painted by hand after I finished a term at university when I was in my twenties, ornaments made by the kids out of popsicle sticks when they were toddlers, and decorations from every trip we’ve ever taken as a family.
There are ornaments that reflect every aspect of our lives: birdhouses and kayaks, dogs, bagpipers, skates, hockey, musical instruments, wine glasses, plenty of fish (we have an entire tree of fish ornaments!), even a Grinch one that says “2020: Stink, Stank, Stunk”.
There are scores of snowmen because every year Dave’s sister MaryAnne gave the girls a snowman ornament. When they move out, our tree will become less cluttered. And there are at least half a dozen cardinals in memory of loved ones who can no longer be with us in person, but are always with us in spirit at this time of the year. This year I found a beautiful cardinal ribbon garland we added to the tree in memory of my two sister-in-laws who passed away from cancer.
So I will continue unapologetically to put every ornament in my Christmas memory box on the tree. Tacky be damned.
This week’s #HappyAct is to cherish the memories the holidays bring.
I watched Bad Mom’s Christmas last week. There’s a line in the movie when Moms Amy, Kiki and Carla rebel against the pressure of trying to create the perfect Christmas for their families and declare they are “taking back Christmas”.
I’m not sure at what point Christmas became a thing we needed to take back. If I had to pinpoint a timeframe, I’d say somewhere in the early 2000s, when gifts spiralled into electronics costing hundreds and thousands of dollars, pre-lit trees made an appearance, and suddenly decorating your yard became a Griswold-like affair.
Wise man Dave especially hates how commercialized Christmas has become. I’m still a lover of the holiday season, but admit I sometimes feel the pressure of finding the perfect gift, and especially this year, finding time to decorate, bake, send out cards and all the trappings and wrappings of Christmas.
So this year, I’m pledging to Marie-Kondo-the-flock-of-sheep out of Christmas by only doing things that bring me joy.
This is what brings me joy over the holidays:
Collecting pine boughs and decorating festive urns (what doesn’t bring me joy? When Bentley eats all the twigs with the red berries I picked)
Watching a small town Santa Claus parade—highlights this year were the unicycle club from the local high school, seeing our friend Jay ride the beat up Zamboni they use to clear Sydenham Lake rink, and of course the jolly old elf himself—even Dave was singing Christmas carols
Going to a church cantata or concert and listening to holiday music
Watching Christmas movies eating homemade caramel corn in front of a crackling fire and festive tree
Getting together with the neighbours and of course, spending time with family
You’ll note shopping and wrapping didn’t make my nice list, so I think I’ll cut back this year.
So who’s with me? This week’s #HappyAct is to take back Christmas or Hannukah, or whatever you celebrate. Seek joy and peace this holiday season and avoid the trappings.
There is a raging debate that goes on in our household this time of year: how soon is too soon to start watching holiday movies and listening to Christmas music.
Dave and the girls are on the bah humbug, Scrooge side of the mistletoe, saying November is way too early, whereas I’m ready to curl up with a cup of tea or some hot chocolate and start watching holiday movies as soon as the first feathery snowflakes start to fall.
In the spirit of the holiday season and keeping harmony in households across the nation, this week my gift to you is my personal list of holiday flicks that will keep everyone in your family happy from now until December. I’ve checked it twice and all of these selections have some naughty bits but made it on my nice list:
Laurie’s list of holiday movies you can watch in November
Bad Mom’s Christmas: a sequel to the popular Bad Moms, rebellious Moms Amy, Kiki and Carla rebel against the pressure to create the perfect holiday for their families
Love Actually: I’ve always loved this ensemble movie for its beautiful acting (the scene where Emma Thompson sits on her bed listening to Joni Mitchell after she learns her husband is having an affair is masterful) and exploration of the meaning of love on different levels
Just Friends: still one of my favourite Ryan Reynolds’ movies of all time—a Hollywood movie executive Chris Brander finds himself stranded in his hometown over Christmas with his psychotic pop diva client played by Anna Ferris. The scene where Reynolds visits his former flame’s house and Ferris shows up makes me laugh out loud every single time
The Family Stone: Another great ensemble cast movie about a dysfunctional family and the ties that bind the ones we love set over the holidays
The Holiday: Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz switch houses and lives for two weeks over Christmas
The Holidate: this Netflix original is a cute romcom starring Emma Roberts who finds a guy who agrees to be her plus-one for every holiday all year long
Office Christmas Party: Tired of going to boring office Christmas parties? Grab some spiked nog and enjoy this epic ultimate party thrown by a bunch of employees whose company is failing and vow to go out with a bang. Starring Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman with Kate McKinnon stealing the show as the HR person.
Of course, if you really want to embrace the Christmas/non-Christmas holiday movie debate, you can always watch Die Hard.
Finally, here are three movies I wouldn’t bother with that are on the naughty list: Four Christmases, New Year’s Eve and Bad Santa. And any Hallmark/Women’s Channel movie–all the producers deserve coal in their stockings for the terrible tripe this movies have become.
“Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are.” – Harold S. Kushner, prominent American rabbi, and author.
Today is World Kindness Day, a day to celebrate and promote good deeds and kindness. Last week I reflected on the state of kindness in the world in “Take the high road”. This week, I’m adjuring all of us to do one #KindAct to spread happiness and kindness in the world. Here are some ideas on how you can kind it forward:
Ways to kind it forward
Reach out to a friend or family member you haven’t spoken to in a while.
If there’s been a rift, forgive them. Apologize and be a good listener.
It seems everyone is sick with some kind of cold or flu right now. Take someone who’s feeling under the weather a bowl of soup, magazine or some baked goods.
Many communities right now are holding food drives for their local food bank. I spoke to our local food bank the other day and their shelves are desperately low and they anticipate higher demand with food prices soaring. South Frontenac Township is holding a food drive during the whole month of November. You can drop off items at the arena, 4432 George Street or 2490 Keeley Road.
This one’s my favourite: do a random act of kindness that will make someone’s day, like buy a coffee for the next person in line or the drive-through or leave a beautiful card with an inspirational saying in a neighbour’s mailbox.
Hug your family and tell them you love them.
Be kind to yourself.
Kindness isn’t a day. It isn’t a single act. It defines who we are as individuals and a society and who we aspire to be.
The best way we can make the world more kind is simply engaging, listening and caring for others.
What will your act of kindness be today? More importantly, what will it be tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that? Leave a comment—I’d love to hear about how your day went.
Is it just me, or does it feel like nobody takes the high road anymore?
Last week, I was out for my lunchtime walk, and I came across an altercation at the local high school. There was an older student on the one side of the road screaming at two kids across the road. The language was deplorable but it was the intensity and hatred that made me stop in my tracks.
I wasn’t sure whether I should intervene, or just mind my own business and keep walking. I was concerned it could escalate into something far more serious. I hesitated for about half a minute, then walked up to the girl who was yelling and swearing and her friends, asking if there was a problem and whether I could help.
The girl glared at me and said, “Those two have been staring at me non-stop for the past three days. They needed to be put in their place.” She had other choice words for the two kids that I won’t repeat here.
Now, I don’t know what transpired between these two groups of kids, and I know it’s high school, but I will say this whole incident really disturbed me.
First, I can tell you I never once spoke to anyone like that in high school. Sure, there were cliques and kids who didn’t like each other and didn’t get along, but you mainly stuck with your own friends and avoided them. No one ever stood in a street and hurled vitriole and swear words at the top of their lungs for the whole world to witness.
Second, this girl said these kids had been “staring” at her for the past three days. If that was their biggest crime, I can only imagine how this girl will cope some day when she experiences real conflict at home, with her friends or in the workplace.
I think what upset me the most though was this girl thought it was OK to act and speak like that. In fact, not only did she defend herself and her actions, she took pride in her response, saying someone had to stand up to them, they deserved it.
I just couldn’t stop thinking, if this is what our kids think is normal and acceptable behaviour, what hope do we have as a society of being kind to each other and battling the divisiveness that seems to be permeating our culture?
To me, it’s simple. You never know what people are dealing with in their lives. That’s why you should always take the high road and turn the other cheek.
It comes down to two basic tenets: treat others with kindness and respect.
This week’s #HappyAct is to always take the high road. Have a kind week.
If you look around, there are signs everywhere but sadly, not many people stop and read them.
I do, I always have. I’m not sure if it’s the historian in me, or just an innate curiousity–I figure if someone thought it was important enough to erect a sign in a certain place, then it’s worth reading. It’s a trait that drives my family crazy.
On Friday, I went for my usual pre-game walk in Carleton Place before Clare’s hockey game. I was familiar with Carleton Place because Clare had competed in regattas there many times, but the arena was in a different part of town.
I started walking on a section of the Trans Canada Trail and came across a bridge that spanned the Mississippi River. There were several interpretive signs on the bridge, so I stopped to read them. Directly across from me was another bridge named Gillies Bridge in honour of John Gillies who built it in 1884.
John Gillies was the name of my father. Not the same John Gillies who built the bridge, and no relation to my knowledge, but it immediately caught my interest.
According to the Lanark County tourism website, lumber was king in the Ottawa Valley in the nineteenth century and John Gillies “was one of the industry’s crown princes”. He acquired the first sawmill in Carleton Place in 1866 and built the operation to employ 200-300 men to produce more than 20 million feet of board lumber a year. His mills eventually covered 300 square miles and spanned the greater part of six townships.
His Gillies Machine Works was his retirement project. After selling his mill operation, he built the Machine Works in 1875, manufacturing steam engines, water wheels, gearing, shafting and boat engines.
I thought this was ironic given Dave’s and mine luck with boat motors.
I stopped to admire the old abandoned millworks on the island, and then kept strolling, taking pictures of the old stone buildings since it was such a gorgeous sunny morning.
It was interesting to read about this famous namesake, and in a strange way, made me feel closer to my Dad, who has been gone for more than 20 years.
This week’s #HappyAct is to stop and read the signs some time. You never know what you’ll discover.
What is it about rainbows that make us look up with wonder and smile?
Last week, I saw the most incredible double rainbow. It appeared one morning on my way to work and I stopped to take a picture of it. My boss did the same thing and when we walked into the office, there were a bunch of people milling around the glass doors, gazing out at the beautiful arched spectacle framing the sky.
It’s easy to understand why we’re so enamoured with rainbows.
Rare, beautiful, magical, their kaleidoscope of colours are a miracle of nature.
Pure, elusive, we recognize they are a gift from heaven and we gaze at them with childlike wonder.
They teach us that when things are dark and gloomy, light and beauty may be a raindrop away.
They represent hope and wonder and remind us of the importance of stopping to take in the moment, because at any time, their elusive beauty may fade away.
Just like the words in the song, even though they are mere illusions, we are transformed into lovers and dreamers while we remain under their spell.
This week’s #HappyAct is to find your rainbow connection even if you don’t see a rainbow.
Happy Act 