Category: family

Posted on in family, relationships

The funny thing about marriage

Two toilet paper rolls with faces and the words recycle me on them

I walked into the bathroom the other day and found two toilet paper rolls sitting on the counter with cartoonish frowny faces and the words “Recycle me” drawn on them. The one toilet paper character looked like it was giving me the finger.

I did the only logical thing, which was to take another toilet paper roll, cut it in half and make two little toilet paper roll children with the words “Mama” and “Dada” on them.

These are the types of love notes you send after 31 years of marriage.

Next weekend, Dave and I will celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary. In a funny twist of fate, we’ll be spending it up north at the same cottage we spent our honeymoon before going to Algonquin Park to see Grace.

I wish I had some brilliant insights about marriage but I don’t. After 31 years of marriage, I truly believe it’s a crap shoot whether people stay together or split up. We’ve just been lucky at crap.

The one thing I will say and they don’t tell you in marriage courses is marriage changes over time.

You start out madly in love and lust, then become each other’s best friends as you begin to build a life together. Children rock your world and your relationship takes second string as you focus on raising your kids.

You learn to live with each other’s foibles and idiosyncracies and intimately know each other’s aches and pains, regrets and dreams.

But if you’re lucky, you still wake up every morning not being able to imagine going through life without that person by your side, sharing a laugh or two, and planning your next adventure together.

Just make sure you recycle the toilet paper rolls and put the seat down before heading out.

Dave and me in South Carolina this year

Posted on in family, health and wellness, inspiration, lifestyle

Living the dream

Dr. Seuss sign on life and regrets

I have a couple of friends that when you ask them how’s it going, they always say sarcastically “Oh you know, just living the dream”.

Just once, wouldn’t it be nice if when we said, “Just living the dream” we meant it?

If we had time to pursue our passions instead of spending all of our time at work?

If we lived within our means without financial worry?

If we lived a life of purpose and service with all their intrinsic rewards?

If we lived life with zest instead of just existing?

If we were thankful every day for every blessing, big or small?

Sounds like a nice dream to me.

Posted on in dogs, family, Food and drink, travel

Visit a Farm

water buffalo in a big puddle

Last one in is a smelly Buffalo!

Yesterday, Dave and I visited the Ontario Water Buffalo Company farm and store in Stirling, Ontario.

We were greeted in the farm store by a young girl, who handed us a self-guided map and invited us to take a tour of this working farm.

Our tour guide was an Australian shepherd who led the way from paddock to pen to the various barns and milking stations.

dog in calf barn

The farm has a massive herd of 800 water buffalo and the paddocks are organized by age, with the adults, tweens and babies separated in the calf barn.

I was very taken by these interesting creatures. The babies in the calf barn were either very curious and friendly, eager for a pet or very shy, backing away from the stall when you went to touch them.

The adults were HUGE with massive teats, broad girths and some with devil horns that twisted around their head.

baby water buffalo

The farm operation was very modernized, with robotics in the milking barn that steered the cows into their stalls and automatic milkers that disconnected immediately as soon as the cows gave their 8-10 litres per day of milk.

We learned 15% of the world’s milk comes from water buffalo and an adult water buffalo can reach weights up to 2600 pounds.

milking stalls on farm

After our tour, we shopped in the farm’s Buff Stuff Store which carries every type of buffalo meat you can imagine from testicles (limit one per customer!), to liver, to beef patties and steaks and cheeses made from the buffalo milk, their most popular being their mozzarella di bufala, as well as jewelry and steins made out of buffalo horns.

After buying some buffalo burgers for the barbecue, we chatted with owners Martin Littkemanna and Lori Smith, whose young daughter was selling lemonade and homemade cookies to raise money for a friend whose mother was fighting cancer.

adult water buffalo

Dave asked about the different species of water buffalo, since when we were in Tanzania we had been warned that they could be aggressive. Martin explained there are two main types of water buffalo, river buffalo and swamp buffalo and the ones found on their farm are domesticated with a much more docile personality than the ones we saw in Africa.

Fall is a great time to tour a farm and many local communities host farm events. If you live in eastern Ontario, Open Farm Days in Frontenac County run from September 1 to October 15 and offer a huge array of back-to-the-farm experiences, some free for the whole family. For more information, see openfarms.ca.

water buffalo in pond
author kissing a water buffalo
Posted on in community, family, travel

How to Not Spend Money and Still Have Fun

Brockville Railway Tunnel

With groceries, hotel and restaurant prices through the roof these days, it can be a challenge to find things to do without spending an arm and a leg. 

But as I recently discovered, there are still lots of things you can do for free and still have fun. Here are some fun events and things to do that don’t cost a dime coming up:

  • Fantasy in the Forest, July 15-16: if you’ve never been to Jamie Brick’s art show, you’re missing a real treat. Set on the shores of his beautiful property on Draper Lake, this unique local artist invites other fantasy artists to showcase their wares. One of the most interesting and unique shows you’ll ever attend in a drop-dead gorgeous setting.
  • Music in the Park: Thursday and Friday nights in Kingston. My favourite night is country music night on Thursdays when you can catch live music in the park, then head over for Movies in the Square. South Frontenac Township also hosts live music at a different beach each month in the summer. On July 29 it’s Dewy Roadkill at Gilmour Point Beach and on August 19 it’s Tyler Brett Forkes at The Point in Sydenham.
  • Brockville Railway Tunnel: Walk the 1km long old railway tunnel and marvel at the magical lights. Still one of the coolest, free tourist attractions in Eastern Ontario.
  • Princess Street Promenade in Kingston: it’s always a fun day when the main street in Kingston becomes a big pedestrian walkway. The next promenade is August 5, 2023.
  • Movies in the Square: grab a lawn chair, popcorn and beverage of choice and watch a favourite flick under the stars in Kingston’s beautiful market square. Every Thursday night throughout the summer. Read my post “Watch a movie under a starry sky”.
  • Jones Falls Stone Arch Dam: Park the car at the top parking lot and hike the trail, from the magnificent stone dam, down along the locks of the Rideau Canal. Bring your bathing suit and a picnic and make a day of it.
  • Elbow Lake Environment Educational Centre offers free presentations on Thursday nights throughout the summer. Upcoming talks include Nocturnal Animals on July 27, What Lurks Beneath: Aquatic Species Study on July 3 and a viewing of the Perseid meteor shower on August 10. You can even stay overnight (for a fee) in one of their cabins. Clare and I did this one summer.

For more ideas on fun, inexpensive things to do in this region, see 25 Things to Do in South Frontenac. Everything with an asterisk is free.

Kingston city hall at night

Kingston is a great place to catch music in the park followed by movies in the square on Thursday nights

Posted on in family, health and wellness, science of happiness

Happiness by the numbers

bright yellow sneakers

Some time ago, I stumbled across these statistics on happiness.

infographic with stats on happiness

There’s not much we can do about our age and genetic disposition, but we can make an effort to reach out to friends, spend time with our loved ones and focus on what’s most important in our lives: developing positive relationships.

If all else fails, wear something orange or yellow.

Posted on in family, lifestyle, mental health

Call a cottage day

deck chairs on a dock

On Friday, when the temperatures were forecasted to soar into the thirties, I said to Dave, “I’m calling a cottage day”.

You don’t need to actually own a cottage to call a cottage day. A cottage day is when you pretend you are at somebody else’s cottage, where there’s no laundry or chores calling your name and you spend the entire day lounging around, relaxing on the deck reading books, playing games, eating and drinking.

It’s a day where you give yourself permission to do whatever you want and not even think about housework or chores.

I slept in, read a magazine while eating my breakfast, did a few things around the house, then headed to the lake. I read my book on the dock, threw the ball endlessly for Benny in the lake, went for a long paddle and three long swims, before heading up to have lunch on the back deck.

After lunch, I took a nap in the screened porch, then we went to our local farmer’s market to stock up on fresh greens and bread for dinner. It was exactly what I needed and the perfect panacea after a busy week and month.

Years ago, after we got married, Dave and I had the great debate. Do we save and buy a cottage property, or buy a home on the water? Two big factors swayed us to our decision to buy a year-round waterfront home.

The first was we were both absolutely useless at home renovations, repairs and maintenance. The idea of maintaining two properties was just not in the cards for us.

The second was our decision to move out of the Greater Toronto Area to north of Kingston where lakefront properties abound. We made it a goal the minute we moved down here to own lakefront and bought our little piece of paradise six years later and have never looked back.

Now Dave’s favourite thing is to go fishing on Sunday nights after supper. When we’re out on the boat, he always says the same thing. “If we were up at a cottage, we’d be stuck in traffic right now driving back to the city.” Then he casts his line into the still waters, the setting sun casting a warm glow behind him, and turns to me and smiles.

The perfect end to the perfect cottage day.

This week’s #HappyAct is to call a cottage day. Enjoy!

Posted on in dogs, family, lifestyle, pets, relationships

The Camera Roll of Life

Dave and his father

Sometimes, when life is a blur, I like to look back on my camera roll to remind me of all the things I’ve done in the past month. It reminds me that no matter how busy and tired I am, I’m blessed to live such a full life, filled with good friends, good food, people who love me no matter what, and lots of fond memories. Here are some of my favourite pictures from my camera roll this month.

What’s on your camera roll? Tell me about your favourite photos in the comments.

Pictured above: We had Dave’s Dad visiting us last week and we went for a drive up to Wheeler’s Pancake House for breakfast. If you’ve never tried their maple breakfast sausages, they are definitely worth the drive!

Woman holding a basket of herbs

This is my friend Audrey. We went to the Frontenac Women’s Chorus spring concert and Audrey won the door prize, this beautiful herb basket!

Bride and groom to be feeding each other cupcakes

These are my friends Steve and Katie. They’re getting married in June and I went to their stag and doe. Here they are feeding each other cupcakes blindfolded.

Grace, Dave and two golden retrievers

We love dog visitors and one of our favourites, Rip came to stay with us for a few days this month. It’s also been great having Grace home.

Man in front of a garden

One night after work last week I stopped by to drop off my seedlings fundraiser money to my friends Helen and Roger. Roger gave me a tour of his beautiful gardens.

Girls hockey team

This weekend, Clare competed in a hockey tournament in Kingston. She played six games in three days. They took home silver.

Posted on in family, relationships

Roots and Wings

Me and my daughter on the beach in South Carolina

I once read the greatest thing you can do for your children is to give them roots and wings.

Roots where there is…

People who love them unconditionally

A shoulder to cry on

Food in the fridge

A hug to share

Doggies to cuddle with

Respite from the daily stresses of life

A sympathetic ear

…no matter how messy their room is

Wings to…

Venture out on their own

Race down mountains on skis

Swim across lakes

And win face-offs at centre ice

Set their own study and work schedules

Discover what they’re good at

Make their own decisions and mistakes

And tackle the world on their own terms

…even if it means worrying and sleepness nights

To my beautiful girls Grace and Clare, I’m so proud of you. It has been a privilege to watch you find your wings and soar. Know we’ll always be here for you.

Grace and Clare packing hampers for the Salvation Army
Clare at centre ice playing hockey
Grace in the boat with Bentley at sunset
Posted on in dogs, environment, family, health and wellness, lifestyle, nature, travel

Watch the world go by

boy on beach

My mother-in-law once said the biggest change she had seen in her lifetime was no one just sits anymore.

On my last sunny beach day in South Carolina a few weeks ago, I just sat on the beach and watched the world go by.

There were families who lugged their beach carts to the same spot they had the day before, filled to the brim with plastic sand shovels, coolers, colourful beach chairs and umbrellas. Before the adults could set up even one chair, the kids would grab the beach toys and run with glee towards the water and furiously start digging in the sand.

There were surf fisherman who sat close to shore, the water lapping up on their toes as their lines bounced in the white-flecked waves.

There were lots and lots of dogs, since it was a pet friendly beach. German shepherds, labs, a grizzled old golden retriever that lay beside its owners in a small patch of shade beside their chair, and breeds I never even knew existed like the German Elo (who was named Murphy, by the way, just like our old dog Murph).

There were osprey soaring in the brilliant blue skies, splashing into the surf to catch their lunch, then lifting slowly and wobbily, a fresh catch in their talons. There were pelican armies flying in formation patrolling the picturesque shoreline, and gulls, terns and sandpipers tiptoeing in the grainy sands.

And best of all there were dolphins. Spied first far, far out in the ocean. Their fins cresting out of the water in graceful intervals. Then closer to shore, coming near my two teenagers splashing in the waves. I try to yell at them to look, but they just wave back, oblivious of the magnificent creatures sharing the ocean’s expanse.

I couldn’t believe how many dolphins I spied that day. There were multiple pods, some playing in the waves, leaping in the white crests of the surf and blowing and chuffing as they came up for air. They must have known the weather was about to change and decided to enjoy their final day on the beach frolicking in the waves.

Yes, spending a day watching the world go by is a bit of a luxury in today’s world, but I highly recommend it…especially at the beach.

Ed. note: The photos below were all taken in the evening since I didn’t bring my phone to the beach during the day so they don’t capture the images I’ve described above, but I hope you enjoy them anyway.

terns and pipers on beach
deserted beach
Grace and Clare swimming in the ocean at sunset
Woman and her daughter on the beach
Posted on in family, pop culture

It’s time we cancel the cancel culture

sign that says cancelled

A Kitchener school has cancelled Valentine’s Day.

Jean Steckle Public School in Kitchener, Ontario sent a memo home to parents saying there will be no Valentine’s Day celebration in the school and asking parents not to send treats or Valentines in.

The notice read, “While we acknowledge the celebration of Valentine’s Day, and are mindful of the popularity of that day, it is not celebrated by all students/families in our community. It is essential that all students feel welcomed and reflected at school, and that our celebrations do not negatively impact our families and students.”

The school administrators went on to find just about every flimsy excuse in the books to justify their decision: that it could put a financial strain on families to purchase cards or sweets (fair enough), and the food kids eat on Valentine’s Day doesn’t fit in with the healthy eating guidelines.

Really? Is nothing sacred?

Let’s have a reality check here. Valentine’s Day in schools is little kids writing out cards saying “I love you” and “Friends forever” and mowing down chocolate cupcakes with red and white icing.

I’ve been taking note of the nonsense and wake of destruction of cancel culture for a few years now. In, “One Graceless Tweet Doesn’t Warrant Cancellation”, The New York Times lashed out at cancel culture when Dr. Jeffrey Lieberman, a professor of psychiatry at Columbia University was fired after posting a tweet complimenting a beautiful woman, calling her “a freak of nature”. A poor choice of words? No question. I think the word graceless perfectly captures it, but it’s rather scary to think any one of us could lose our jobs over a poor turn of phrase.

British comedian Rowan Atkinson spoke out last year against the cancel culture saying it’s almost impossible for comedians now to go on stage and it’s comedy’s job to offend.

Earlier this week, the City of Oshawa voted on whether it should ban toboganning in all but two of its municipal parks citing safety concerns and insurance costs. They voted down the ban, thank goodness, a temporary win in the battle against cancel culture so kids for the time being can still get out in winter and have some fun.

Cancel culture has to stop. If we’re not careful, we will end up cancelling everything that is good and gives us joy in this world.