I’ve always been rather agnostic about my birthday. I like getting presents and eating cake, whatever the occasion, but when you are an adult, a birthday never feels like a day to celebrate for some reason. It’s probably because for many of us, it’s just another day and reminds us of our age and of all the negative physical aspects of aging.
That’s why I was pleasantly surprised when I saw on Facebook yesterday a post by a friend of mine that started with the words “Happy Birthday to Me”. She shared that she was celebrating another year, another day, another opportunity to enjoy life, and was so thankful for all the blessings in her life.
It was so refreshing to see someone truly embrace their birthday and its true meaning: a celebration of being alive.
So this year, I’ve decided I’m going to celebrate my birthday, not with balloons or cupcakes or presents (although a Dairy Queen ice cream cake would be scrumpdillyicious).
I’m going to celebrate me…still here, still dreaming, still contributing, still loving, still planning my next adventure, still laughing, still alive.
I’m a huge fan of TedTalks. Recently, I stumbled across one on the science of smiles by Ron Gutman, a professor from Stanford University whose mission is to help everyone live happier, healthier lives.
Gutman talks about a 30-year old study from the University of Berkeley, California that looked at old photos in school yearbooks and measured the success and well-being of the graduates throughout their lifetime based on their smiles. The students with the biggest smiles tended to lead more successful, well-rounded lives.
Another study involved looking at old baseball cards and the longevity of the ball players in correlation to the smiles on their cards. The ball players with the biggest smiles lived the longest.
Gutman says one-third of people smile more than 20 times a day, but sadly 14% of us smile less than 5 times per day. Children smile more than 400 times per day.
He claims smiling creates the same positive brain stimulation as eating up to 2,000 bars of chocolate!
Smiling is one of the most basic expressions of humans and something we all do every day.
This week’s #HappyAct is to make a conscious effort to smile at least 20 times a day this week and if you see someone sad, struggling or frowning, ask what’s wrong, tell them a joke, or do something to put a smile on their face.
Recently, I’ve moved to a four-day work week. Dave started working four days a week a year ago. It’s all part of our plan to eventually transition into retirement.
I’ve worked a four-day week one other time during my career. It was a short span of three months when the kids were little and we had many doctors and other medical appointments. It was a lifesaver—the perfect mix of having a rewarding, vibrant career, but having enough time to focus on my family and friends and get things done at home.
I can tell you I already feel a difference in both my mental and physical health.
I feel more well-rested, my brain feels like it has more space to breathe, and I’m taking time more slowly.
I’m no longer rushing through the weekend, trying to squeeze in a million things before Sunday night arrives and I have to steel myself up to do it all over again.
I’m making more plans to do the things I want to do, whether it’s having a coffee on a Friday with a friend (a luxury!), tackling a project, a long weekend away, or just spending time with Dave on little day trips here and there.
I’m getting more exercise and already feeling the positive benefits of not sitting at a desk 8 hours a day which has increasingly become more difficult and painful over the past several years.
Yes, I’m liking this four day a week thing.
Now if only more employers would wake up and realize the benefits of a four-day work week and make it happen. The world would be a happier place.
The photo above is a picture of me and my girlfriend Barbara on one of my first three-day weekends this summer when I went to visit her in Thornbury. Read about our day at the Thornbury Cider Company to see the Clark Drag Show
I’m fine and Dave and the girls are fine, but there are just too many people I care about that are getting kicked in the teeth by life right now. It’s making me feel overwhelmed and helpless.
So what can you do when your happiness is being crushed by a heavy heart?
Hug your loved ones and tell them you love them every day.
Have a good cry if you need to.
Be grateful for friends, family, and the people who will be there when you need them most.
Try to find solace in the smallest joys and moments.
And bake a lot of banana bread*.
My heavy heart goes out to all of you right now, you know who you are.
*The banana bread reference is a funny story worth sharing to end this week’s blog with a smile, even if it is a sad smile. When my sister-in-law MaryAnne was sick, I brought food over every week for her and Mac. Their wonderful neighbours in Westport also dropped off meals and baked goods regularly. One day when I showed up with soup and some cookies, Mac said “As long as it isn’t another f**kin banana bread!”
They say people resemble their dogs. This is definitely true for Bentley and me. During the summer months, we know it’s been a good day if we’re wet and bedraggled.
Bentley of course, wears the look much better than me. After a day of swimming at the lake, his gorgeous russet brown fur glistens in the sunshine, making swirly patterns on his back.
I’m more on the bedraggled side, but I come by this look naturally. I have fond memories of my Mom, wet and bedraggled after a day at the beach at Lake Simcoe.
She’s been gone almost 40 years now, but I can still picture her walking back from the beach, in beat up old running shoes filled with sand, her short brown hair tousled with a few strands falling across her face. She wore an old one-piece bathing suit with a towel draped around her neck with a big smile on her face. We were always happy up at that old beach cottage.
I think about my Mom as I trudge up our wooded path from the lake, my feet squishing in my crocs feeling clean and refreshed. I’m in my happy state, wet and bedraggled.
Dear friends. This week, I’m asking for your advice.
All my life, I’ve struggled with my weight. The reason? I love food and I’m not willing to give it up.
Until now, it hasn’t been a problem. I’ve always been fairly active and healthy, and it was an easy choice to keep eating what I want and not worry about my body size or image to be happy. We also tend to eat relatively healthy: no processed foods or fast food.
But as the years have gone by, I’m finding it harder to feel good about my weight. Breaking my ankle this winter was also a breaking point. All of a sudden, I couldn’t walk to keep the pounds off.
Maybe I need to do something drastic or crazy like Kevin Maginnis. The 57-year old Nashville man was a TikTok and talk show sensation after eating at McDonalds three times a day for 100 days. He lost 58 pounds and says he’s never felt healthier (and his blood work proved it). He said the key was eating less—in contrast to the famous SuperSized documentary, he ordered whatever he wanted, but downsized all his meals.
When he was asked by the Today Show hosts how he was going to sustain his weight loss, he said, “Half a plate to lose the weight, three quarters of a plate to maintain your weight.”
Actress Jamie Lee Curtis once said in an interview, the key to being healthy and fit as you age is simple: eat less, move more.
Sounds simple, right? But if it’s that simple, then why do so many of us struggle with losing weight, especially as we age? At least I know I’m not alone. It’s the only thing Oprah and I have in common.
This week’s #HappyAct is to weigh in and lay it on me thick, like butter: what is your best advice for keeping your weight in check?
Some time ago, I stumbled across these statistics on happiness.
There’s not much we can do about our age and genetic disposition, but we can make an effort to reach out to friends, spend time with our loved ones and focus on what’s most important in our lives: developing positive relationships.
If all else fails, wear something orange or yellow.
My mother-in-law once said the biggest change she had seen in her lifetime was no one just sits anymore.
On my last sunny beach day in South Carolina a few weeks ago, I just sat on the beach and watched the world go by.
There were families who lugged their beach carts to the same spot they had the day before, filled to the brim with plastic sand shovels, coolers, colourful beach chairs and umbrellas. Before the adults could set up even one chair, the kids would grab the beach toys and run with glee towards the water and furiously start digging in the sand.
There were surf fisherman who sat close to shore, the water lapping up on their toes as their lines bounced in the white-flecked waves.
There were lots and lots of dogs, since it was a pet friendly beach. German shepherds, labs, a grizzled old golden retriever that lay beside its owners in a small patch of shade beside their chair, and breeds I never even knew existed like the German Elo (who was named Murphy, by the way, just like our old dog Murph).
There were osprey soaring in the brilliant blue skies, splashing into the surf to catch their lunch, then lifting slowly and wobbily, a fresh catch in their talons. There were pelican armies flying in formation patrolling the picturesque shoreline, and gulls, terns and sandpipers tiptoeing in the grainy sands.
And best of all there were dolphins. Spied first far, far out in the ocean. Their fins cresting out of the water in graceful intervals. Then closer to shore, coming near my two teenagers splashing in the waves. I try to yell at them to look, but they just wave back, oblivious of the magnificent creatures sharing the ocean’s expanse.
I couldn’t believe how many dolphins I spied that day. There were multiple pods, some playing in the waves, leaping in the white crests of the surf and blowing and chuffing as they came up for air. They must have known the weather was about to change and decided to enjoy their final day on the beach frolicking in the waves.
Yes, spending a day watching the world go by is a bit of a luxury in today’s world, but I highly recommend it…especially at the beach.
Ed. note: The photos below were all taken in the evening since I didn’t bring my phone to the beach during the dayso they don’t capture the images I’ve described above, but I hope you enjoy them anyway.
Happy Act 