Category: lifestyle

Posted on in lifestyle, retirement, work

Goodbye alarm clocks

Coffee mug on my back deck

If you read last week’s post, you’ll know this weekend marks my first days of being officially retired.

I made some retirement pledges last week, but forgot one very important one: I pledge to never set an alarm again unless it is to catch a plane or train.

You don’t need to be retired to make this pledge.

I’m not a morning person. Either is Clare. Our morning routine was to eat silently together at the breakfast table, then barely say a word to each other during the car ride to work and school.

I learned years ago I was much happier when my life wasn’t being ruled by an alarm so I stopped setting one.

It’s easier to do than you think if you go to bed roughly around the same time each night and get up at the same time each morning. (If you’re on irregular shifts, I’m guessing it would be far more difficult).

Your body naturally self-regulates and on weekdays, I would wake up within a 15-minute window each morning.

There will be days when you sleep in and have to rush around a bit, but for me it was worth it to never hear that blasted alarm go off.

This week’s #HappyAct is to stop setting an alarm. You’ll be happier for it.

Photo: Enjoying my first coffee retired in my beautiful new mug my friend Allison gave me as a retirement gift.

Posted on in health and wellness, lifestyle, money, work

My Retirement Pledge

Me at a work event booth for South Frontenac Township

I’m retiring this week. After working for the past two years for my local municipality, I’m hanging up my keyboard (well, at least my work keyboard) and making plans for a future that doesn’t involve paid work.

It’s exciting and daunting at the same time and I realize how lucky I am.

I’ve made some pledges to myself, and because I am a firm believer that if you write down your goals or say them out loud, you’re more likely to stick to them, I am sharing them with you here today. Here are my retirement pledges.

I pledge to…

Not feel guilty if I feel like doing nothing
Embrace each day as a gift
Spend more time in my garden and at my lake
Get more exercise

Help my community
Take advantage of all the events during the day on weekdays I couldn’t attend when I was working
Never spend another minute in a meeting or on Zoom
Spend more time with the people I love

Listen to more live music
Spend less time on my phone
Pursue my passion of writing
Not worry about money

Go outside every day
Visit friends who I haven’t seen in awhile and make some new ones
Travel and embark on new adventures near and far
Take better care of my health

This week’s #HappyAct is to make your own pledge, even if retirement is still a distant dream. What would you pledge to yourself?

Posted on in dogs, lifestyle, nature, pets

Dock decisions

Woman standing on dock beside a lake

Read or snooze

Beer or cooler

One sip. Two sips

Backstroke. Sidestroke

Swim or snorkel

Canoe or kayak

Throw the ball or let the stupid dog nudge it in the water for the hundredth time

If only every decision in life was a dock decision.

My dog Bentley with his football on our dock
Posted on in inspiration, lifestyle, relationships

Dave and Laurie’s High School Reunion

Me and my friend John Chong at my high school reunion

This past weekend, Dave and I attended our high school reunion. It had been 41 years since we graduated and I was looking forward to catching up with old friends.

Dave was a harder sell. Dave has this theory that only successful people go to reunions. The last time we went to a high school reunion, Dave swiped the name tag of some guy named Harry who graduated a decade earlier and told everyone he was a lawyer.

A bit of back story. Dave and I met in high school. He moved to Port Credit in Grade 10 and was one of six Daves in my Grade 10 history class with Mr. Gatto (I can still name all six Daves to this day). He asked me out skating in Grade 10 and even though I liked him, I turned him down because I had just got a bad perm that day and was too embarrassed to go out. We ended up friends, started dating after university, and the rest, they say is history.

Back to the reunion. A bunch of us met up at a local bar on the Friday night and it was as if no time had passed. Even though we had all aged, our personalities hadn’t changed a bit.

There were your fair share of success stories–people who ran their own businesses, and led interesting life journeys or had exciting careers, but there were some sad stories as well, friends who had experienced loss or challenges. Many had a parent who had recently passed away or who was suffering from dementia.

We shared laughs, told stories and enjoyed catching up on each other’s lives.

What struck me the most though was just how privileged we were to have grown up in such a well-to-do neighbourhood and to attend a high school that offered incredible opportunities, including a full music program, outdoor trips and extracurricular opportunities.

As we exchanged numbers, texts and photos, I left feeling grateful–grateful for being able to share this special time in our lives with these wonderful people.

I know we all won’t necessarily keep in touch, but I hope some of us at least can make some more memories together someday soon.

Here are some of my favourite pics from the weekend.

group of people at a bar
Dave and three of his buddies
Me and my friend Mark
My friends Doug, Derek and Pravin
rock band on stage

My buddies playing in one of the bands at the talent show

me in front of my athlete of the year picture

Me in front of my “Athlete of the Year” picture (note the bad perm in the photo)

Posted on in family, health and wellness, lifestyle, science of happiness

The comfort of routine

Author reading the Toronto Star

I have a confession to make: I’m a creature of habit.

On the weekends, my morning ritual is to sleep in, wake up, grab a coffee and read the morning papers or flyers (yes, I am a dinosaur). Since I’m not a morning person, it takes me at least an hour or two to get moving. Once up, I’m good with starting my day, whether that’s running off to hockey, walking the dog, meeting a friend for coffee or working around the house.

I come by this trait honestly—I inherited it from my father who was the very epitome of routine. Dave used to say you could set your watch by Dad and know the exact hour and minute when he would walk the dog, read the papers and have his first rye of the day.

I used to feel like I had to apologize for my habitual tendencies until I read an article from Northwestern Medicine linking the positive mental and physical health benefits of having routines. The article stated having a routine can help with stress, sleeping better, eating healthier and being active. Routines can help us achieve balance in our lives and make time to do the things we love and that keep us healthy.

Of course, my routines are the butt of my family’s jokes, but even that has become weirdly predictable and reassuring.  

I couldn’t care less about the science and what my family says. For me, there is just something so comforting and relaxing about the routines I love. They are a safe haven in a crazy world. Even writing this blog on Sunday mornings has become a welcome routine.

This week’s #HappyAct is stick to your guns and the routines you love. Gotta go. My second coffee of the morning awaits.

Posted on in entertainment, Food and drink, lifestyle, travel

Six winter cures to get you through the rest of January and February

My friend looking at a shark

It’s deep in the heart of January. I look out my window and see dullish grey skies, and a heavy blanket of melting snow and ice from a week of ice storms and rain. It’s the very definition of blah.

If you’re one of the lucky ones, you have a trip booked south to some spectacular warm destination with sandy white beaches, crystal azure waters and breathtaking blue skies.

If you’re one of the unlucky ones staring down another two solid months of cold and grey, I offer you these winter cures guaranteed to lift your spirts.

  1. Grab your swimsuit and the kids, and spend the afternoon at your local indoor pool. If you have some money to splurge, find one with an indoor waterpark or slides—we used to take the kids to Great Wolf Lodge and always found an afternoon inside the warm, balmy swim park as the snow gently fell on the domed glass the ultimate cure for the winter blahs
  2. Have a hot toddy or specialty coffee, the perfect COVID cure. Our “go to” in the winter months is an Irish coffee with Bushmills and Baileys—the perfect combo
  3. Channel your inner Scandinavian and have a spa or sauna day. Check out Nordik spa in Gatineau or Stoked Sauna Co., a new sauna experience in Kingston on the patio of the Frontenac Club that offers sauna and outdoor firepits for cooling off
  4. Plan a day at an indoor garden, conservatory or aquarium. The Butterfly Conservatory in Niagara, Ripley’s Aquarium in Toronto or Aquatarium in Brockville are all excellent options (read my blog posts Discover an undersea world and Play tourist in your own town for more)
  5. Get creative and sign up for a local arts workshop. We are very fortunate to have a world-class arts facility right in the heart of Kingston, the Tett Centre for Creativity and Learning. Check out their line-up of winter workshops with offerings like this one “Make a live edge charcuterie board” with local wood artist Nick Allinson
  6. Splurge on a scrumptious night out. Kingstonlicious is on now and features signature and tableau d’hote meals at some of Kingston finest restaurants. Check out the $60 tableau d’hote menu at Chez PIggy featuring roasted dry-brined chicken with peasant salad or the three-course meal for two for $60 at Harper’s Burger Bar featuring nan’za, lamb curry, and coconut alfajores. 

This week’s #HappyAct is to choose your ultimate winter cure. Be sure to check in next week for #7 on the list!

Girls looking at fish from a porthole

Clare and her friends looking at fish from the porthole at the Aquatarium in Brockville

Posted on in health and wellness, inspiration, lifestyle

Happy Birthday to me

Author and friend in front of a lighthouse

Why is it so many of us hate birthdays?

I’ve always been rather agnostic about my birthday. I like getting presents and eating cake, whatever the occasion, but when you are an adult, a birthday never feels like a day to celebrate for some reason. It’s probably because for many of us, it’s just another day and reminds us of our age and of all the negative physical aspects of aging.

That’s why I was pleasantly surprised when I saw on Facebook yesterday a post by a friend of mine that started with the words “Happy Birthday to Me”. She shared that she was celebrating another year, another day, another opportunity to enjoy life, and was so thankful for all the blessings in her life.

It was so refreshing to see someone truly embrace their birthday and its true meaning: a celebration of being alive.

So this year, I’ve decided I’m going to celebrate my birthday, not with balloons or cupcakes or presents (although a Dairy Queen ice cream cake would be scrumpdillyicious).

I’m going to celebrate me…still here, still dreaming, still contributing, still loving, still planning my next adventure, still laughing, still alive.

Posted on in holidays, inspiration, lifestyle, writing

The top 12 happy acts of 2023

Drag queen performing

It’s all too easy to reflect on the sad news stories of 2023: the war in Ukraine, Gaza, the summer of smoke and wildfires, skyrocketing inflation. Brighten your day by looking back on the top happy acts of 2023:

  1. Need some R&R? Call a cottage day
  2. Already dreading going back to work on Tuesday? Join the movement and read The case for the four-day work week
  3. If life is a blur and you need to be reminded how lucky you are, scroll through The Camera Roll of Life
  4. Discover why I want to be a drag queen when I grow up in Drag yourself to a drag show
  5. Find out why Kettlemans is my everything bagel in Dear Kettlemans
  6. Take a bite out of the big apple, by special guest blogger Ray Dorey
  7. See what happens when you cross a cheap party dress and a dryer in Add a little glitter and glam to your life
  8. For the poetry lovers, Reflections
  9. Read my tribute to two of the greats: Buddy Guy on his farewell tour in See a legend live, and the late great Gordon Lightfoot in The Summer Side of Life
  10. And if you need help choosing a New Year’s Resolution, shoot for a better Crap Joy Ratio or Climb the ladder of happiness

Thanks once again to all of you who read my blog each Sunday. Here’s to many more #HappyActs in 2024!

Author and her husband
Posted on in lifestyle, money, science of happiness

How to be a happy shopper this Black Friday

black friday poster

Black Friday and the holiday shopping season is upon us. Canadians are being lured by savvy marketers with promises of up to 70% off, Black Friday Deals and Super Savings you can’t pass up.

While some people refuse to cave to the consumerism of the season, most of us succumb to varying degrees to the shopping craze this time of year.

Which begs the question. Does retail therapy make people happy? The science shows the answer is yes.

A 2014 study from the Journal of Consumer Psychology found that retail therapy not only makes people happier immediately, but it can also fight lingering sadness. 

Even just the anticipation of making a purchase or treating ourselves to something we desire releases dopamine, the hormone neurotransmitter in our brain that makes us feel good. 

The choices we make when shopping can restore a feeling of personal control and autonomy which helps in fighting feelings of sadness and anxiety over the things that are outside of our control in the world.   

In another 2014 study by University of Michigan, researchers showed that purchasing things you personally enjoy can be up to 40 times more effective at giving you a sense of control than not shopping, and those who actually purchased items were three times less sad when compared to those who only browsed.

Shopping also stimulates our senses, creating pleasure, especially this time of the year when the stores have festive displays and merry music playing.  

But before you go filling up your virtual or actual shopping cart, remember these caveats. For every instant hit of pleasure, there is a corresponding pang of potential regret when it comes time to pay the bills. You need to calculate whether the pleasure from the purchase would exceed the pain from the cost, and whether you can afford the purchase at all.

The Journal of Consumer Psychology study showed that even just the act of filling up your online shopping cart, then abandoning it, can create the same pleasure as if you had actually made the purchase.

In the end, spending less money may be more rewarding.

This week’s #HappyAct is to be a smart, savvy and happy Black Friday shopper. Find a few bargains and enjoy the small hit of dopamine, but don’t do anything you’re going to regret later.

Special #HappyAct Experiment: Go online this week to one of your favourite retailers and fill up your shopping cart with a bunch of items, then close down your browser without making the purchase. Did you feel happier just browsing? Leave a comment!

Posted on in family, health and wellness, inspiration, lifestyle

Living the dream

Dr. Seuss sign on life and regrets

I have a couple of friends that when you ask them how’s it going, they always say sarcastically “Oh you know, just living the dream”.

Just once, wouldn’t it be nice if when we said, “Just living the dream” we meant it?

If we had time to pursue our passions instead of spending all of our time at work?

If we lived within our means without financial worry?

If we lived a life of purpose and service with all their intrinsic rewards?

If we lived life with zest instead of just existing?

If we were thankful every day for every blessing, big or small?

Sounds like a nice dream to me.