Me and Elmo sending hugs: like the rest of the online community, I was shocked at the heart-wrenching responses people shared when everyone’s favourite Sesame Street character Elmo asked people how they were doing last January
It’s time we went from taking selfies to choosing selflessness, from practicing self-care to caring for others. Read more in Finding happiness in the me age
On parenting, retirement and my friend Harry
I retired in 2024. I made a pledge to myself, which has turned out to be one of the smartest things I’ve done. Read My Retirement Pledge
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas Just like the ones I used to know Where treetops glisten And children listen To hear sleigh bells in the snow
Outside snowflakes are falling Our sleds and skis in tow A sense of joy fills the air We haven’t a care Playing in a wonderland of snow
The lake is frozen over The world is frosty and grand Birds share their singsong As we sing along In a wintery fairy land
Love and happiness surround us As we stroll hand in hand It’s a beautiful sight All is merry and bright Walking in a winter wonderland
The world is peaceful and quiet A bed of fresh fallen snow The sky sparkles with light Before the still, silent night With lights all warm and aglow
So throw your arms up to the sky In the snow on Christmas day May it be merry and bright Every Christmas be white And all your troubles be far away
Ed note: Living in Eastern Ontario, it’s not Christmas without snow. It will be a white Christmas this year and that makes me happy. I took these photos on one of my walks this week after a fresh snowfall and wrote this mash-up of several favourite Christmas songs that includes lyrics from Irving Berlin’s White Christmas, Sarah McLachlan’s Wintersong, It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas by Meredith Willson and Sleigh Ride by Leroy Anderson, plus a few verses of my own. If you’re a musician, feel free to put them to music!
I hope everyone has a very peaceful and joyous Christmas. Be sure to check back for next week’s #HappyAct, my annual round-up of top happy acts of 2024.
On Friday, at my last writer’s group meeting of 2024, one of our group members Joanne wanted to share something she had written in the spirit of the season. She called it “So this is Christmas” and started with the immortal verse John Lennon wrote more than 40 years ago during the Vietnam War for the song Happy Xmas/War is Over.
As Joanne read her heartfelt piece of thanks and gratitude, I looked around the room and thought about how grateful I was to be a part of this interesting group of people and how much I have learned from them in the four short months since I joined the group.
I’ve learned about botany, the undercover world of police work and drug busts, life in the Congo in the 1950s, the wild ponies in the New Forest in Hampshire, growing up on the Isle of Wight and so much more.
Some of us are writing novels, others short stories, and some their memoirs. All of us share a love and passion for writing.
But as much as writing brought us together, it is the people and camaraderie that make us come back each week.
There’s Franklin, our kind, patient leader who reminds us he will ring the bell if we go over time when sharing our work, but hasn’t rung it once since I’ve joined.
There’s Dorothy Anne, our skilled master, always with an encouraging word, tip or suggestion to improve our writing.
There’s Wayne, our pastry muse who scours the local bakeries to feed our minds and souls and lets us choose not just one, but two delectable treats, one to eat in class and one to take home.
There’s Sister Maureen, Greta and Pamela who honour us by sharing a glimpse into the fascinating lives they’ve lived each week.
There’s Mo, who shared such a moving piece a few weeks ago describing the sounds of a home filled with children, and the heartbreaking silence when they become adults and move out, that it took three members to finish reading it as each person welled up with tears.
As I was thinking about this group and Joanne’s words, she shared this, “It’s true we cannot change what is happening around the world and often not even in our own communities, so we may think, ‘Why bother?’ or ‘What can I do?’. The answer is plenty, and it all starts with kindness.”
So, this is Christmas. What have you done? Another year is over and a new one begun. Let’s all take a page from my writer’s group, and start the year with kindness.
I love Christmas. Dave hates Christmas. This makes for an interesting dynamic in our household as the holidays become near.
To be fair, Dave doesn’t really hate Christmas. He laments the commercialism of the holiday and despises stores putting decorations out and playing Christmas music in November. But as December creeps upon us, my grinch’s heart warms to holiday traditions and Christmas cheer.
On Friday, I planned the jolliest of jaunts to help my humbugger of a husband get into the holiday spirit.
We drove up to Sharbot Lake for their annual Festival of Trees, a fundraiser for Villages Beautiful, a local organization that raises money for beautification projects in Central Frontenac.
As we walked down the street to the Oso Hall, a nearby church piped cheery Christmas carols that floated through the air like Santa’s sleigh.
We entered the hall where a band and choir were singing Christmas tunes and the smell of hot chocolate and cider permeated the air. We admired the festive trees decorated by local businesses and service organizations and placed our raffle tickets for our chance to win gift baskets, artwork and beautiful prizes.
After a quick visit with friends, we headed to our next destination: Riverhill Farm in Ompah to see North Frontenac’s largest light display.
We had read about this local family who began opening their 20-acre farm to visitors for their light display in 2014, but were still unprepared for the treat that lay before us.
We drove down a long driveway lined by cedar rail posts decorated with Christmas lights to the entrance. A beautiful log cabin surrounded by stately trees laden with lights greeted us, along with an animatronics display of four smiling Christmas trees singing Have a Holly Jolly Christmas.
We first took a drive through the light display (you can drive through it or walk), then parked and walked. A sliver moon peeped out from behind the clouds and we marvelled at the different displays: a small white chapel in a field, a grinch and his sleigh, a white present with red bow on top that was so big you could walk through it, candy canes, Christmas trees and glittering balls.
Sometimes light displays can almost verge on the tacky. Not at Riverhill Farm. My favourite was the beautiful large oaks and maples decorated with ribbon lights along the trunks and different coloured lights in swaths along the branches.
As we wandered around the 200,000 sparkling lights amidst the newfallen snow, my grinch’s hardened heart grew two times that night.
Dave said if he lived near Riverhill Farm, he’d come every night to see the light display.
This week’s #HappyAct is to plan a jolly jaunt to make even the hardened of Grinch’s hearts grow with holiday cheer.
If you plan to visit: The farm is open every night now until December 30. Admission is by donation. On Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights there are vendors, wagon rides and a concession stand selling hot chocolate, coffee, and our favourite, mini-doughnuts. For a special treat, plan on visiting Saturday, December 14 for the fireworks at 7 pm.
More Christmas light shows: My loyal readers will know I have a thing for Christmas light shows. Read more about the tradition of Christmas lights in “Enjoy the Wizards Light Show”.
Dear Santa: A few years ago I wrote you a letter with a special Christmas list. I know your elves have been working hard on some of the items, like longer ranges for EV vehicles, but it’s been awhile, so I thought I would send you a new list. Here it is:
Ask retailers to go back to making the old Christmas lights where you only had to replace one bulb in a strand when it went out, instead of having to buy a whole new strand
Just once for Bentley to not bark to come in the minute after I sit down
Get rid of Daylight Savings Time once and for all so it’s light until at least 5 o’clock at night
Make the NFL go back to the old kicking rules. Whatever deranged Grinch came up with the idea of notifying the other team in advance of an onside kick should have coal put in his stocking, and watching teams line up like tin soldiers waiting for the receiver to catch the ball during kick-offs is like listening to Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas album on replay
Bring the price of bacon and hot dogs back below $8 so we can eat meat again
And end to the Canada Post strike–oh wait, I forgot, no one cares
Put the CEO of Ticketmaster on your naughty list for making it easy for people to steal your ticket by transferring it and forcing people to use their app instead of just downloading tickets to your phone
Reclaim the 407 so anyone can drive on it for free and reduce the ridiculous congestion on the 401
Get the elves at Costco to stop with all the excess packaging
Oh yeah, and of course, peace in the Middle East, an end to the war in the Ukraine, and a cure for f**in cancer.
And if you can’t grant me any of those wishes, I’ll take a Toblerone and bottle of Cabot Maple Cream.
There is something to be said about the element of surprise.
Yesterday, I threw a surprise 60th birthday party for Dave at Spearhead Brewing Company in Kingston. It was meant to be a low-key affair since he is still recovering from knee replacement surgery, but it turned out to be a raucous good time with many friends and former co-workers coming out to wish him well, followed by an after-party at our house with some close friends and neighbours.
Our family has a long tradition of holding surprise parties. When I turned 30, Dave and my friend John McMurray conspired to throw a big party at his house in Erin. I thought we were just having a quiet dinner and didn’t even put on any make-up that night, only to walk into a full room of thirty of our closest friends jumping out yelling surprise.
On Dave’s 40th, I rented the downstairs of a restaurant in Kingston and invited all our friends from Toronto and Kingston. There was lots of food, a blow-up doll and I even roped four couples into playing the Newlywed Game. My friend Jill dressed for the occasion in a leopard jacket and thigh-high boots, and I surprised Dave and my brother-in-law Lloyd with tickets to the Grey Cup the next day.
For my 50th, Dave plotted with my boss Julie to throw a big birthday bash at lunch at a restaurant downtown with all my co-workers from Empire Life. It was such a fun time and I even got the afternoon off.
Fast forward another decade (where does the time go?) to yesterday. It was such a special day. Our friend Lorna showed up with snowshoes and Christmas lights on her back since she was walking in the Kingston Santa Claus parade after with the Rideau Trail Club. Dave’s sister and husband, my brother and our cottage neighbour Mark came all the way from Hamilton and Toronto for the party, and there was lots of laughs had, beer drunk, and fish stories told. As Dave said, it was a wonderful intersection of the many cherished friends and connections we’ve made over the years since moving to this area.
The only thing that could have made the day more special was if the girls and their boyfriends could have celebrated with us, but we had a lovely family birthday celebration the week before.
To all our friends who came out to raise a glass with us yesterday, first, I salute you. You brilliantly kept it secret and a surprise, sending texts with good wishes in the morning so Dave wouldn’t suspect a thing. You are the best!
From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for coming and for making Kingston’s newest 60-year sexagenarian who is usually a grump on his birthday a very happy guy.
Photos: (above) our friends Jon and Mark, my brother Don and Dave; Jon is giving me the finger on behalf of Dave for planning a surprise party behind his back.
Below: Our friends Ally and Tony, me, Carolyn and Michael; the gang having a good time–so great to see everyone mingling!; our friend Lorna all lit up for the Kingston Santa Clause parade; Lorna and our friend John’s daughter Maria; Dave and his sister Liz.
Each year, between December 14 and January 5, people from across North America participate in one of the largest citizen science projects in the world, the Christmas Bird Count.
Survey teams and individuals count birds in the field or at feeders on their property and record the birds they see. The data is submitted to the National Audubon Society and analyzed by Birds Canada to provide insight on the number, movements, and distribution of winter bird populations.
Studies show that seeing or hearing birds can have a positive impact on your mental wellbeing and happiness. One King’s College London study provided 1,200 people from around the world with an app. They were asked at random intervals to record how they were feeling such as happy or stressed and what they heard or saw, like trees and birds.
The study concluded everyday encounters with birds can be linked to “time-lasting improvements in mental wellbeing” and “these improvements were evident not only in healthy people but also in those with a diagnosis of depression”.
This year, the Frontenac Christmas Bird is on Saturday, December 14 and is celebrating its tenth anniversary. There are lots of special events planned, including a Winter Birds 101 crash course from 9-9:30 am, a Kids Bird Count from 1-3 pm with bird specimens, interactive activities, and a short walk to count birds, and a special dinner starting at 4 pm, all happening at the Sydenham Legion Hall. Wintergreen Studios is also hosting a winter bird workshop and guided count from 10 am to 3 pm on their property (register on their website here).
If you live north of Kingston and are looking for a fun day out in nature to lift your spirits, sign up to participate by emailing bonta.johnson@sympatico.ca or on Wintergreen’s website for their event. You can register or find out when the Christmas Bird Count is happening in your region on the Birds Canada website.
A couple of weeks ago, I was doing some work on my MacBook Air when suddenly everything stopped saving. I was getting out of memory errors even though the diagnostics showed I still had plenty of memory left and Microsoft Office wouldn’t work properly.
I packed up my Mac and popped into Best Buy on my way to my Friday afternoon writers’ group.
For the past ten years, we’ve bought all our computers and phones from Best Buy. As big retailers go, I think they are one of the best with excellent service, knowledgeable and friendly staff, and competitive prices. I went to their Geek Squad desk, and within twenty minutes I was on my way, my Mac issue resolved. When I asked how much I owed them, the guys smiled and said no charge.
With the crazy holiday shopping season soon upon us, I thought I’d share my list of best brands to buy from this holiday season, with an emphasis on Canadian, their willingness to go the extra mile for their customers, and cost since inflation is through the roof.
Canadian Tire: still one of my favourite Canadian retailers, with one of the best return policies around and items on everyone’s Christmas list. They’ll also go the extra mile to help their customers and the community. During the ice storm of ’98, when we bought a blue water jug from the Canadian Tire in Kingston, the manager filled the jug for us. And just last week when I started my holiday shopping there, I saw an employee out front helping a customer fix their bike.
Simons: Keeping on the department store theme, Simons is a Quebec-based fashion mecca for anyone looking for stylish, inexpensive fashion. Their roots date as far back as 1840 and they now have 17 stores across the country and are opening two more in the GTA this winter. I discovered Simons when I used to go to Montreal for business and make it a regular stop every time I’m in Montreal.
Dollarama: Another Quebec success story, everyone knows this beloved dollar store where your buck goes a long way. Fantastic for stocking stuffers, cards, gift wrap and more.
Winners and HomeSense: No matter what time of day you go into a Winners or HomeSense, there’s a lineup to check out which speaks to the popularity of these discount stores. What I like the most is it feels like a treasure hunt every time you visit—you never know what you are going to find.
Giant Tiger, aka the “GT Boutique”: A local low-cost favourite (the first Giant Tiger stores opened in Ottawa and Napanee in the 1960s and are owned by a local family), if you’ve never set foot in a Giant Tiger, you may be surprised you can find some of the biggest brands at reasonable prices, including Spyder, Disney, RealTree and NHL, CFL and NFL merchandise.
Any local craft fair: I still say the most special gifts are anything you can buy locally made with love. I’ve already started scouring some of my local craft fairs for gifts. Bonus: there’s usually always a bake table to stock up on treats!
This holiday shopping season, make sure your shopping experience is a positive one and you leave a happy customer. What are your favourite retailers and why? Leave a comment. Happy shopping!
Last Sunday, I walked down to the lake to throw some sticks for Bentley so he could have a late fall swim.
As we approached the dock, we startled a large great blue heron who had been standing on the shoreline close to the dock. Bentley started chasing the heron, and instead of flying away, which would have been the bird’s normal behaviour, the heron flapped its wings into the water a few feet, flailed around for a bit, then limped back to shore.
By this time, I realized something was wrong with my friend Harry. I hastily called Bentley off and sat down on the dock to observe him.
I couldn’t see any visible sign he was injured. I thought one of his legs might have been hurt, but herons have those weird stilt-like legs that bend almost backwards when they walk so it was hard to tell. Also, if his leg was hurt, he probably could still fly away. There was also no marked injury on his wings.
I called Sandy Pines Wildlife Centre for some advice. They suggested trying to capture the heron with a sheet or blanket and place it in a dog crate and bring it in. I still wasn’t convinced Harry was hurt, so I decided to leave it for a day and if Harry was still in the same spot 24 hours later, I’d reassess. I watched him catch and eat a frog, so I knew he was at least eating.
I was busy in town the next morning, but went down to the lake after lunch, and sure enough, Harry was still there.
He was standing on a steep section of the shoreline, and I had no idea how I could catch him safely. I also wanted a second opinion since I wasn’t convinced he was injured. I also knew that any capture attempt would be extremely stressful on the bird.
Dave thought he just might be old and ready to fly away to the big heron rookery in the sky. Herons live typically 15-20 years and are very territorial, so if this was my friend Harry who I shared our lake with for the past 20 years, it was possible he was weak and old and nearing the end of his life.
I called my neighbour Bruno who came over on his pontoon boat. Using the trolling motor, we came within five feet of Harry. He didn’t fly away but kept hopping along the shore away from us. Bruno agreed something was wrong with him (he would have flown away), but we came to the conclusion there was no way we could catch him and he was just old.
As we were about to give up the mission, Harry mustered up his last ounce of energy and lifted his majestic wings for a final low flight across the lake, almost as if to say, “thanks for the concern guys, but I’d prefer to be alone.”
I snuck in two paddles during those final warm days of October. I found Harry standing camouflaged in the marsh in the exact same spot he had flown to both days across the lake. I said my goodbyes and accepted it was time for nature to take its course.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to recognize the importance of anchors in life.
An anchor can be a person, a place, a thing, or something you love to do that lifts you up and feeds your soul. It is anything that grounds you or provides comfort or solace during times of trouble.
For a child, an anchor might be a teddy bear or favourite toy. For a widower, it may be a cherished photo of their spouse sitting on their nightstand.
My anchors are living and being in nature, swimming, music, writing, and Dave.
You really know when something is an anchor in your life when it isn’t there. This past week, Dave had his second knee replaced. Thankfully, the surgery went well and he’s now home resting nicely, but he was in far more pain the day of the operation compared to his first knee replacement and they kept him in the hospital overnight.
I returned home to an empty house that night feeling a bit lost and adrift. Dave has always been a big anchor in my life, and I found myself wandering around the house, restless and anxious. I was never so happy to find him doing much better the next day and ready to come home.
Living and spending time in nature is another key anchor for me. In the summer, I know I need to spend at least an hour or two at the lake every day. If I don’t, I get surly. The trees, the sun glimmering on the water, and spending time outdoors are an essential part of my happiness.
Swimming is an extension of this. I remember a particular Saturday two years ago when Dave’s sister was dying of cancer. Dave and I were helping my brother-inlaw at the house and taking turns driving him to the hospital to see MaryAnne. I spent the morning at the hospital, then we drove back to the house, where I did some chores and took their black flat-coated retriever for a walk. We were waiting for one of their kids who had travelled a long distance to arrive before going back to the hospital, and I slipped away for an hour to go for a long swim at Westport Beach. It was what I needed to face the rest of the day which turned out to be the day MaryAnne died.
Over the years, writing has become an anchor for me. I’ve enjoyed sharing my thoughts on happiness on this blog, and now in retirement, I’m excited to tackle many new writing projects.
This week’s #HappyAct is to reflect on and be grateful for the anchors in your life. What are yours? Leave a comment.
Happy Act 