Listen to live music

band on stage
Celtic band Irish Roots playing at the Verona Cattail Festival

This weekend is a big deal in my small town. It’s the weekend of the annual Verona Cattail Festival. It kicks off with a parade that lasts about 10 minutes and has more people in it than watching it, features a Red Green Cardboard Duct Tape Boat Race where entrants make a boat out of cardboard and duct tape and everybody cheers as the boats sink, a pancake breakfast, fish fry and antique car show (on today if you’re looking for something to do and like antique cars).

For me, the highlight of our little festival is the music on the main stage. The organizers do a great job attracting talent from all genres. Last night the best act was a group called the Bon Evans Band—a guy who looked and sounded like Cat Stevens who played all originals, but the celtic group and Rockabilly Allstars were fun too.

The reality today is, most of us listen to music through some sort of device. It’s great that music is now universally accessible thanks to iTunes and iPods, but we’ve lost that experience of seeing the musicians on stage, hearing the music live and watching the performers interact with the audience. Many artists now have to charge exorbitant amounts for their concerts since it is their primary source of income.

At one point last night, I was watching the band. The sun was setting over the fields. Beside the stage were two Canadian flags gently billowing in the wind. Beside the stage Clare was dancing with friends and an older couple were dancing. It was a one of those blissful moments when you realize there is no place you’d rather be and no better place in the world to live than in Canada.

This week’s #HappyAct is to listen to some live music. The more intimate the venue, the better. Tap your toes, get up and dance, let the music take you away. A plug: if you’re out on a Saturday night in Kingston, my co-worker Tim Aylesworth and his buddy Craig Jones are always playing at Tir Nan Og Irish Pub on Ontario Street on the patio–he’s a great singer songwriter.

Watch a baby grow–read about our loons

Loon family
Our loon family

I was kayaking in our back lake last Sunday. It was a bit of a challenge to even get into the lake because the beavers had dammed up the channel, but I made it in, and was rewarded to discover our two loons with a brand new baby.

We had given up hope there would be a baby this year. I had taken pictures of the mother on her nest and the egg about a month ago, but when no baby appeared, we assumed the egg had been eaten by a snapping turtle or pike.

Each day this past week has brought a new wonder as we’ve watched “Wheezy” (short for Louise) grow. She started out staying very close to her mother, often riding on her back , then learning how to dive.

The other day she was in the middle of the lake by herself. The mama and papa loon were closer to our dock. You could tell they were worried and trying to find her. She’d give a little hoot, and they’d answer with a full call, dipping their heads under water to try to hear her better and locate her. The parents started swimming quickly toward her and the family was reunited. Last night, I watched as the dad fished and fed the baby his catch.

There is nothing more life affirming than witnessing the miracle of life. It represents everything that is good in this world–innocence, trust, love, optimism, and endless possibility. We experienced this same feeling a few weeks ago on vacation when we watched a newborn foal find his legs during our week-long visit.

Fast forward to two nights ago. I was walking across the soccer field. My two girls were walking and talking in front of me. I was suddenly struck by what beautiful, spirited people they had become. In that moment I was so proud. It has been both a pleasure and a privilege to watch them grow. I look forward to the next ten years to see the young women they become.

This week’s #HappyAct is to watch a baby grow. Witness the miracle of life and be thankful that each day is a gift. I have two more births to look forward to. Our neighbours are expecting a baby this fall and we are looking forward to welcoming their little one into the world and watch him grow. And Dave’s almost finished building the chicken coop—time to get baby chicks!

Adult loon ruffling its feathers
The papa loon warns us we are getting too close
Baby loon on her mother's back
Wheezy getting a ride on her mother’s back
Loon egg
The egg is a mottled brown, about the size of a grapefruit

Embrace your natural self

Nicole Richie with purple hairI was catching up on entertainment news this week and saw a clip on Nicole Richie, who is sporting shocking purple hair for her reality series. A day later, I saw an article in People magazine on celebrities who’ve had tattoos removed (more about tattoos in a minute).

I’m always curious why people feel they need to change what’s given to them naturally. Let me be clear to pre-empt the inevitable comments about being prejudiced against people who look different. I’m not against purple hair or tattoos. I’m all for being different and applaud individuality. I just don’t get why you would want to drastically change your natural self.

If you’re in the entertainment industry, it’s different–it’s about image and attracting attention. Two people I admire are Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. Both are incredibly talented artists and brilliant businesswomen who aren’t afraid to take risks and showcase their individuality in different ways. Interesting, both also have not been afraid to show their natural looks to their fans and public.

As a society, I think it’s safe to say we are obsessed with appearance. I’ve always preferred the natural look, but I’ll admit there is a secret side to me that wishes I wasn’t so “normcore”. Yes, I discovered there is a name for people like me. Normcore is “being unselfconscious in a society that’s gone uber-conscious. For the sake of argument, let’s call it trendlessness,” according to the Financial Post.  As I get older, I’ll admit I’m more self-conscious about my looks, especially the effects of aging. But any desire I have to change my appearance stems from a desire to restore my natural beauty that is fading with age, as opposed to trying to change what I look like.

There is a girl I know who epitomizes what I’m trying to say about embracing your natural self. She often has a pink or purple streak in her hair and wears funky clothes. These outward expressions actually convey her natural self beautifully, which is someone who is fun, energetic and who has an incredible outlook on life.

Finally, a word on tattoos. Again, for the record, I think tattoos are really cool and view them as incredible works of art. I will never get one for two reasons. First, I have a cardinal rule to avoid inflicting pain on my body. Second, they irreversibly alter my natural self. Hair styles, clothes—they can all be changed at the drop of a dime but tattoos are forever.

There is a third reason, and that is a question I’d like to put out there without judgement. Like it or not, we are a society obsessed with appearance. People stare at tattoos. In your interactions in life, do you really want your tattoo to speak for who you are? For this reason, and because tattoos are forever, I don’t think anyone under the age of 25 should get tattoos. There, I said it. Let the comments fly.

But before you lambast me, read this article on what visible tattoos might do to your chances of being hired.

This week’s #HappyAct is to embrace your natural self, whatever that may be. Don’t be afraid to show who you are, but make sure what you do on the outside expresses who you are on the inside.

Have a double s’cream day

Girl eating ice cream sundaeOne of my favourite weeks of the year is our annual family vacation. Each year we pick a region in the States, set up base renting a home from vrbo.com and then go exploring. This year our home base was Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. Here’s the house we rented this year—it was beautiful.

As always, we had a super week. We visited Gettysburg, Hershey’s Chocolate World and amusement park, Longwood Gardens, Herr’s potato chip factory, and spent a day swimming in the ocean in Chesapeake Bay and tubing on Pequea Creek, a beautiful little tributary of the Susquehanna. Everyone had horses, and we felt very privileged to be there just twelve hours after our neighbour’s horse gave birth to a beautiful black foal.

Coming home is always bitter sweet, but we made it extra sweet by having a double ice cream day yesterday. We stopped in Jim Thorpe, PA for a walk about and an ice cream cone, then had sundaes at Friendlys for dessert for our last supper on the road. I can’t think of a better way to end a vacation.

This week’s #HappyAct is to have a double ice cream day. Throw caution and your waistline to the wind just once. Why not today? After all…wait for it…it is sundae!

Empty sundae dish

Do something adventurous

Young man in the 1930s standing in front of an airplane
John Gillies, the pilot

My father was a creature of habit. He had five shirts in his closet, one for Monday to Friday. He ordered the same meals when we went out for dinner and always golfed on Sundays in the summer. The neighbours set their clocks by his daily walk with our old dog Bailey.

When my Dad passed away 12 years ago, we held a celebration at a restaurant. There were lots of laughs and drinks raised in his honour, which is exactly how he would have wanted it. When we were putting together a small display for the restaurant, the full richness of my Dad’s life starting forming in the pages, and it struck me that my dad had a hidden adventurer in him.

There were pictures of him fishing in Northern Ontario and playing trombone at the Palais Royale in Toronto. There were photos of him standing nonchalantly in an airplane hanger in front of the plane he flew when he was in his 20s. There were photos of him meeting the Queen of England (as the press coordinator for the Royal tours in Canada in the 70’s, he met most of the royal family several times and dined on the Royal yacht).

I like to think there is a bit of a hidden adventurer in all of us. In many ways I am like my dad, a creature of habit, but with a hidden adventurer waiting to explore the world and the next adventure in my life.

This week’s #HappyAct is to do something adventurous. While often it’s the small moments and gestures in our lives that bring us the most joy and happiness, we all need a bit of adventure. My adventure this week will be tree top trekking in Muskoka next weekend with my girlfriends. And yes, I’ll be bringing my bug zapper!

To all you Dads out there celebrating Father’s Day, I hope it’s one of the best days of your life, and to my own wonderful husband, the “President Choice of Husbands”, thank you for being such a wonderful partner and father all these years.

Plan the best day of your life

I once heard an interview with Mike Myers of SNL and Austin Power fame where he was asked what his perfect day would look like. His answer was the exact same as mine. Well, actually, I have two perfect days and they both centre around my lake.

My first perfect day is a winter’s day (the same as Mike’s). I would sleep in, have a couple of cups of coffee and read the papers. The brilliant blue sky and warm sun shimmering on the snow would beckon me outside and I’d go play hockey on my lake all day, then come up for a glass of wine in front of the fire and a hot tub.

My perfect summer day starts off the same—sleeping in. Then I’d either sneak down to the lake for an early morning kayak or read the papers on the back deck. I might putter in the garden for a few hours or walk the dogs, but the day would be spent at the lake, swimming, reading, fishing, going for a paddle boat with my two girls and watching the sun kiss their hair, or exploring the waters with my snorkel and mask. The wine and hot tub part pretty well stays the same no matter what the season.

This week’s #HappyAct is to plan the best day of your life. What would it look like? Leave a comment and share—I’d love to hear it. One more #HappyAct for today: watch this funny, but heartwarming video from the band American Authors, the dog version of the best day. If you live in Ontario, don’t forget to vote Thursday.

Carry on the wisdom of mother Maya

Maya Angelou once said she had thousands of daughters. I was one of them. I had never met this great lady but like thousands of other women, have been inspired by her words and wisdom and was devastated when I learned of her passing on Wednesday at the age of 86.

Nearly all of my favourite quotes are from Maya Angelou. One I live by. It is “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” This has become a mantra for me in how I try to live my life and in my work as a communicator.

Here are some of my other favourite Maya Angelou quotes

“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”

“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.”

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”

“All great artists draw from the same resource: the human heart, which tells us that we are all more alike than we are unalike.”

“You can tell a lot about a person by the way she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

“There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you.”

This week’s #HappyAct is to carry on the wisdom of our mother Maya. Tell the untold story inside of you. Go out and kick some ass. Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud. God bless, Maya.

Clear some columns on the spreadsheet of life

cartoon character wants freedom from spreadsheetsI don’t know about you, but I’ve been a bit too busy lately. It all came to a head this week between work, school commitments, travelling and neglecting my family. It’s time to clear some columns on the spreadsheet of life.

I think most people carry around a virtual spreadsheet in their head. Mine has columns for work, Boards I sit on, school council to dos, social events, family commitments, planning the kids summer camp schedule, stuff to do around the house…some days it feels like the columns keep multiplying.

And then the May long weekend and summer comes along. Glorious, wonderful summer. Time to slow down, kick back and relax, and grab a beer.

Being busy is good. Being busy to the point where you miss spending time with your family or are constantly thinking about work or calculating your next move isn’t good. It’s easy to make the mistake of thinking it’s the sum on the spreadsheet that counts. It’s not. It’s the joy and enrichment you get out of life from the items on the rows and columns.

So welcome summer. It’s about time you got here. This week’s Happy Act is to clear some columns on your spreadsheet of life. Live in the moment and clear your mind of everything except wondering if the beer is cold and the lake is warm enough for that first dip.

Gotta go and make a to do list—let’s see, make potato salad, buy garden plants, buy beer…

This week’s reads

If you didn’t get a chance to read last week’s blog, Take the 90/110 challenge, read it now and take the challenge. Stay safe on the roads this weekend friends.

Tired of summer taking its sweet time? Read this great Toronto Start editorial, “Star demands action: Spring, you’re late.

Talk to strangers

Cartoon that says don't talk to strangers, don't talk to anyoneIf you read last week’s blog, you’ll know I was planting trees this past weekend. Hope you got your hands dirty too. One of the gentleman who was volunteering at Lemoine’s Point knee-deep in mud yesterday told me that his great great grandfather was a brick layer who came over from England. He had designed and built the portico in our Parliament Buildings in Ottawa.

We also got into an interesting conversation about physical education in our school’s system, and how children need daily exercise in order to focus and do well in school. He cited studies that showed students did dramatically better on math tests when they engaged in 60 minutes of exercise immediately before testing.

We go to school, take courses, attend workshops and conferences to learn, and yet one of the most easiest and free ways to learn is simply by talking to people.

Especially strangers. When you talk to a stranger, you are more likely to learn something new and see things from a whole new perspective.

Travelling is wonderful for this. When I travel, I always talk to the person sitting next to me. On recent flights, I’ve met a girl who worked for Mastercard who was a personal consultant to high net worth clients (she advised people with millions of dollars on how to get the most of their card purchases). One time I sat next to a songwriter from Nashville who was on his way to Chicago for a high school reunion. He had written songs for stars like Willy Nelson.

When I was in New Orleans this March, I had lunch at a diner style place (these places are great for single travelers who don’t want to eat alone) and met the priest from St. Louis Cathedral who told us what it was like to live in the middle of “bedlam” as he referred to living on the edge of Bourbon Street. My cab driver who drove me to the airport told me he had just signed up for Obamacare which led to an interesting discussion on health care in the United States. Even when I’m travelling to Toronto or Montreal on business on the train, I try to shut my laptop down for 20 minutes and talk to the person sitting next to me.

We can learn so much if we reach out and talk to people. This week’s Happy Act is to talk to a stranger. Strike up a conversation, ask about what they do, their family. I’d love to hear what you learned, so leave a comment and share your experience.

A special note to parents this week: One of my biggest pet peeves as a parent is when I hear another parent say to their kids “Don’t talk to strangers”. I remember years ago going out for Dave’s mother’s birthday for a family celebration to a restaurant in Burlington. Next to us, another family was celebrating a birthday. Dave’s Mom, who was around 65 at the time leaned across and said a few words to the young girl, and her mother hissed at her to not talk to strangers. Dave’s Mom was crushed.

Do we really want to teach our children not to talk to other people? I get the safety thing, but there is a HUGE difference in engaging in polite, idle conversation with people, and getting in a car and going somewhere with them. We’ve taught our children the difference, and things like code words to keep them safe. But telling them not to engage with others and learn from others is so terribly sad. If you have young children, I beg of you, please banish this phrase from your vocabulary.

 

Listen to the lull of a waterfall

Waterfall
At our secret waterfall

Like most Canadians I long for the sounds of spring. The returning honks of Canadian geese gracing the sky on their flight path home, the high pitched chirps of spring peepers in the early evening, and the sounds of rushing water as our lakes, streams and rivers run free, washing away the remains of winter. They are music to my winter weary ears.

As I write this, I look out at my lake and it is still frozen, covered with a fresh skiff of snow. Most people think ice breaks up on the lakes. It doesn’t. It turns blacks, and then honeycombs before sinking, so one day you come home to the marvelous sight of open, shimmering water and the promise of warm, summery days ahead.

One of our favourite walks in the spring is to our secret waterfall. I don’t know how many people on our road know about it. We are the only people we ever see there. It only runs for a few weeks during the spring run off, but it is magnificent. We throw sticks at the top and watch anxiously to see if they navigate the rushing waters and make it over the crests of the rock to the pools below. The kids make forts and splunk in the channels, getting soakers but not caring. The dogs splash and drink from the cool, fresh water. It is a magical place.

This week’s Happy Act is to go for a hike to a waterfall and be lulled by its soothing sounds. Here is my list of favourite waterfalls in our region and some farther afield for you to discover.

  1. Jones Falls on the Rideau canal: a beautiful afternoon hike off of Highway 15, featuring a stone arch dam built in the 1830’s. Park in the upper parking lot and follow the trail along the dam down to the canal below.
  2. Bedford Mills cascade: small, but spectacular scenery off of Division Street north of Kingston half way to Westport. We’ve done a family photo shoot here.
  3. The Waterfall Tearoom in Yarker—yummy homemade fare overlooking a gorgeous little waterfall, open from Victoria Day to Thanksgiving.
  4. Frontenac Park, Slide Lake Loop—a challenging 21 km hike that passes Labelle Gorge and a series of waterfalls.
  5. Montmorency Falls just outside of Quebec City. It’s been many years since I’ve been there, but I still remember its magnificence.
  6. Cataract Falls in Forks of the Credit Provincial Park in Caledon—lots of great memories here as a child.
  7. Elora Gorge on the Grand River—my girlfriends and I had lunch in the restaurant overlooking these falls a couple of years ago on one of our girls’ weekends.
  8. Niagara Falls—never disappoints, I’ve never seen them from the American side though…maybe next visit

WaterfallRushing waterMoss on rocks