In What if your best friend was a bot, we asked Siri what she looked like. She replied, “In the cloud, nobody cares what you look like”.
The height of irony? Maybe. But what a wonderful world it would be.
Tag: mental health
Look for a silver lining
I’m into week six of living life indoors with a broken ankle.
Aside from the chronic nerve pain, I’ve been surprised that I’ve been able to keep my spirits up for the most part. And in a strange way, there have been some silver linings.
I’ve started on some writing projects I never seemed to have time for.
I’ve been able to spend days home with Bentley, although he mainly just looks at me with sad, accusing eyes.
I’ve spent time on the phone catching up with friends.
For the first time ever, I’m caught up with my bills, correspondence and filing.
I’ve learned that as long as you have the right system, you can be self-sufficient and do things on your own (although I still say you can’t drink a proper cup of tea from a Yeti).
And finally, I’ve learned that even if someday I am limited in my mobility, I’ll be OK. I used to think that if I didn’t get outside every day, I would literally wither away. I now understand how some seniors choose to stay indoors where it is warm and safe during the winter months.
As I gaze out my sunroom windows on this snowy morning, I’m looking forward to my first walk in the fresh snow, but I also know now that if someday, that walk isn’t possible, I can still be happy.
This week’s #HappyAct is to look for the silver lining.
What’s your once a day?
When life is challenging, it’s important to have an escape, something that helps take your mind off things and help you face what’s to come. For me, it’s always been swimming.
Last Saturday was a particularly difficult day. I was in Westport helping my brother-in-law. I knew it was going to be a long, stressful day. In between chores and calls, I slipped down to Westport Beach for 45-minutes and went for a long swim in Sand Lake.
The minute I splashed into the water, all the stresses and sadness began to wash away. My weary eyes concentrated on the beautiful sunshine sparkling on the water and dreamy white clouds floating up above. With each stroke, I swam away from my troubles, towards what I thought was a white buoy bobbing in the water, but on closer inspection was a very large gull. I felt cleansed, refreshed and at peace with what would come.
For my neighbour Kim, her once a day is her garden. As long as she can spend 30 minutes a day in her garden, she feels happy, balanced, ready to face what life brings.
Dave says his once a day is to look at our beautiful lake and remind himself every day how lucky we are, knowing there are so many people in the world who are not so fortunate.
What’s your once a day? Leave a comment.
See past your thoughts
Have you ever gone for a walk or a drive, and arrived not remembering anything you’ve seen along the way because you were so lost in your thoughts?
It happens to me more than I would like to admit.
I’m conscious of it now, so when it happens, I stop in mid-stride if I’m walking, scold my brain, and start looking at the world around me. I make a conscious effort to be in the moment, listen to the wind in the trees, the birds, see the snow glistening on the pines and just take it all in.
It’s easy to become prisoners of our thoughts. It’s hard work to see past them.
The 75 Easy Challenge
You may have heard about the 75 Hard challenge that’s taken over TikTok and the internet. Created by fitness guru Andy Frisella, it’s a challenge that is supposed to toughen you up mentally and physically. He calls it “ironman for your brain”. The challenge involves doing five things for 75 days straight:
- Drink 3-4 litres of water a day
- Follow a diet with no cheat meals or alcohol
- Workout twice a day for 45 minutes, and one of the workouts must be done outdoors
- Read 10 pages of a non-fiction or self-help book each day
- Take a progress picture each day
We were talking about the challenge in the car yesterday, and I said, “that’s way too hard and life’s challenging enough right now, I’d rather do a 75-day easy challenge”. Here’s what our 75 Easy challenge would look like:
Laurie’s 75 Easy challenge
- Drink two glasses of wine two days a week, one white, one red
- Complete one puzzle
- Read the newspapers and actually get moving before 10 a.m. on the weekends (shoot, I guess I’ll have to start the challenge tomorrow)
- Walk from my home office to the kitchen fridge and back at least twice a day
- Wear something other than slippers and leggings at least once a week
Dave’s 75 Easy challenge
- Ice fish twice a week
- Pet Bentley 10 times a day, including once on the belly
- Read 30 pages of either John Sandford, Wilbur Smith or Ken Follett a night
- Drink one bottle of Baileys or Cabot Trail maple cream, with or without coffee
- Bring his minnows in every night so they don’t freeze on the front porch (to help with #1)
Clare’s 75 Easy challenge
- Eat two Mr. Noodles a day, one small bowl and one large bowl
- Limit her screen time on her phone to less than four hours per day
- Wear an actual winter coat each time she leaves the house
- Watch at least one hour of Netflix or DisneyPlus a night
- Clean up after herself in the kitchen at least once a week (again, see #1)
Grace’s 75 Easy challenge
- Keep her voice down to under 100 decibels when talking on the phone late at night
- Journal every day
- Write and re-write her study schedule daily
- Pick two items of clothing up off of her floor each day
- Learn one new song on the guitar each week
Bentley’s 75 Easy challenge
- Chase the squirrels from the bird feeders twice a day
- Sleep on one couch at least once every night
- Eat two dog treats a day without trying to slobber
- Actually come when my humans call, “Come, Bentley”
- Bark for only 10 minutes a night on the front porch at absolutely nothing
There you have it. Hey, at least we’ll feel good when we’re all successful at the end of the 75 days. This week’s #HappyAct is to make up your own 75 Hard or Easy Challenge. What will it be? Leave a comment.
Find meaning behind the words this season
Peace and goodwill. Comfort and joy.
You hear these words everywhere you go this time of year, in holiday cards, in songs, in greetings and on signs.
I noticed a slight variation this week on my favourite church sign. It said, “Wishing you peace, joy, happiness and strength”.
Strength. It was an interesting choice of words. Yes, more than anything right now, we need strength and resilience.
This week’s #HappyAct is to find meaning behind the words this holiday season.
May you experience,
Kindness and generosity of spirit
Love and laughter
The comfort of warm food and fond memories
Precious time to reflect and recharge
Moments of happiness and joy
And strength and acceptance to bring you peace this holiday season
From my family to yours, Merry Christmas.
Don’t miss next week’s special year-end edition of Top 10 Happy Acts, my favourite blog posts to help you get through another COVID winter.
And to the stranger who showed generosity of spirit and bought our hot chocolates at the McDonald’s drive-through in Kingston last Wednesday, thank you for paying it forward! We reciprocated and hope the person behind us enjoyed their McHappy Meal and chocolate shake.
Four sayings to help you be at peace with your actions
Whenever I make a mistake or am having a rough day, there are some simple phrases I repeat to myself to help keep me going.
- One day at a time. This is especially helpful if you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Just focus on one day at a time, and chances are things will get better.
- This too shall pass. Some people say “Time heals all wounds”. I don’t think that’s the case, but time does have the ability to dull painful memories.
- Everything happens for a reason. If you believe this, it is far easier to accept things when they don’t go your way.
- Forgive yourself. This is a new one I’ve adopted during COVID
I hope these sayings help you too. Have a happy week.
What do you do if you’re not sure what makes you happy anymore?
My horoscope yesterday said, “Do what makes you happy”. The problem is, I’m not sure what that is anymore.
Call it the pandemic blues, call it middle age (okay, I’m being kind to myself here), but I’ve found myself pondering this question the past 24 hours.
What used to make me happy was simple. My family, my beautiful lake and property, visiting with friends and neighbours, little things like the refrains of the piano drifting through the air while I sit on the back deck with a glass of wine.
These things still make me happy, but I’ll admit, it’s more subdued now.
I wish I was one of these people who found a new passion and purpose during COVID. I haven’t. I’ve fallen into the cohort known as “languishers” the term coined by the New York Times to describe those of us feeling joyless and aimless, and “slipping slowly into solitude.”
With things opening up, you’d think I’d be chomping at the bit to reach out and connect with people, but I’m not. I was talking to a friend at work the other day who felt the same way. It’s not that we have social anxiety, it’s not that we don’t miss people and would love to see them again, we just don’t have the energy.
They say one antidote to languishing is to immerse yourself in a project. But that takes energy too.
So dear readers, this week my #HappyAct is to ask you for advice. How do you figure out what makes you happy again? Please, leave a comment.
Stop being your own worst enemy
There’s an enemy we are all facing right now, and it’s the enemy within.
Too many people are working more hours working from home than when they were in the office.
Why are we doing this to ourselves?
Have we programmed ourselves to delete our off buttons, so we don’t know when to shut down at the end of the day? Is it because we can’t separate work life from home life working out of our bedrooms and basements? Is it because there is nothing else to do in lockdown, and things will return to normal when the world rights itself? Or is there simply too much work and never enough hours in the day to get it done so we just keep working?
I think it is all of these things and it’s extolling a price.
Each month, Morneau Shepell publishes their 2021 Mental Health Index Report. It’s no secret mental health across all age groups has taken a dive since COVID began last March, but the most recent report shows two segments: women and managers are particularly at risk of burnout as they struggle to deal with the demands of work, home life and worries about finances and health of family members.
The report indicated employees are finding it more difficult to feel motivated to work and to concentrate. A startling one-quarter of Canadians are considering a career change despite their employers handling the pandemic well.
We’ve learned much in the past year. I’ve had several friends retire or make the brave and bold decision to simply leave their jobs. We’ve realized humans were not meant to spend entire days in dark rooms on devices. It’s not natural. We’ve also learned there is more to life than work.
As we slowly emerge from the darkest days of this pandemic, we will all be faced with choices. Be brave in your choices, and whatever you do, stop being your own worst enemy.
Next week: part two on the Future of Work
Be a child genius
Aldous Huxley once said, “The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age which means never losing your enthusiasm.”
I would bet that many of us right now have lost some of our enthusiasm for life. Living in lockdown, not seeing friends and family, and filling our days with work, walks, books and chores without anything to look forward to is tough.
So how do we reignite joy and enthusiasm in our lives? Here are some thoughts, but I’m hoping everyone will leave a comment to help us all through this difficult time.
- Spend time with a child. Children help us see the world from a fresh perspective.
- Make a goal to try one new thing this week, whether it’s making a new dish, starting a new project, or learning a new hobby. When we learn new skills or focus on something fresh, our enthusiasm naturally emerges.
- Be curious and ask questions. The act of asking questions stimulates interest and enthusiasm. You can even ask questions of yourself like, “What do I want?”, “What am I grateful for”, or “What’s missing in my life?”
- Do something silly and that makes you laugh.
- Make a list of everything you love to do, and then take 15 minutes and do one of them a day.
- Plan a trip for when this is all over. It doesn’t have to be a big trip, maybe just an overnight getaway, but it will give you something to look forward to.
This week’s #HappyAct is to rediscover your zest for life. We can all be child geniuses. Now it’s your turn—what are your ideas?
Happy Act 