If I had one wish for 2024, it would be for the world to be more compassionate.
Yesterday when we were driving to Cobourg for hockey, there was a person driving a bit erratically. As we passed them on the highway, I looked over, expecting to see someone on their phone and noticed they looked distressed.
We started talking about a post we’d seen on our local community Facebook group about high beams. Someone posted an apology to people driving on the highway the night before, saying they just had their new car in for servicing and something happened and they couldn’t unlock their high beams so they were blinding everyone on the drive home. Apparently it’s a known issue with a certain make and model of car.
I can only imagine how many people that night were cursing under their breath, calling them an a**hole and worse, thinking they were doing it on purpose or were just a bad driver.
It’s a good reminder that you never know what is going on in a person’s life and to be compassionate.
So the next time someone is short with you or does something that ticks you off, remember they may be having a bad day or fraught with worry, or something else may be going on that deserves your compassion instead of your censure.
Like many fathers, my Dad wasn’t exactly into Christmas. After my Mom passed away, he’d decorate the house by putting one teensy weensy bow above the fireplace, declare to anyone in the room who was listening “Festive, ain’t it?”, then promptly fix himself a rye and ginger.
Every year when we asked Dad, “What do you want for Christmas?”, his response was always the same: “just the love of you kids around me” (and a six-pack of beer).
Fast forward twenty years, and Dad’s words were echoing in my head throughout the day yesterday. We hosted our annual gathering of the neighbours. There was lots of smiles, laughs, and good cheer even though there was less to be cheerful about this year, singing, sharing of food and drink and enough presents to fill up Grinch’s sleigh.
Our neighbours Kim and Bruno gave us one of the best Christmas presents ever: a custom fish trophy made with Bruno’s 3-D printer, four identical lures, one for Dave, Clare, Grace and me and a year-long fishing tournament challenge: to see who could catch the most fish with the tried and true Berkley Flicker Shad 7. What a wonderful gift: a year of fun on the water and friendly jibes to see who is the best fisherperson in our family.
Not to be outdone, my neighbour Charlene gave us a wonderful gift basket but in it was my second favourite present ever: a mug that says “Most people never get to meet their favourite player—I’m raising mine”. Charlene always picks out the perfect mug or cup for us every year.
Our cottage neighbours brought some beautiful gifts as well, but their best gift was when their son Daniel sat down on the piano and played Chopin and Christmas tunes as the kids sang along.
As I sip my coffee this morning in my new mug, and dream about the first warm days when the ice is out and I can make my first cast in the soft light of the morning, I think my Dad was right. The greatest gift of all is having the love and laughter of the people you care about around you.
Last weekend, my friend Barbara and I went to the Clark’s Drag Show at the Thornbury Craft Company. It was part of Collingwood’s Pride celebrations which they hold in July instead of June presumably because that’s when the town is hopping with cottagers and summer visitors.
It had been more than 30 years since I had been to a drag show. The last time I had seen drag queens on stage was at a bar on the island of Mykonos in Greece when I was in my 20s.
It was such a fun afternoon! The three queens Katinka Kature, Heaven Lee Hytes, and Mira Fantasy strutted their stuff in their sequined outfits, leotards and stunning wigs, hamming it up for the crowd to their favourite pop tunes. There was a bachelorette party on the patio, and everyone was singing along, dancing in their seats as we sipped on our ciders and stuffed tips down their tops.
As I watched the queens perform, it struck me that to be able to assume an exciting, alter-ego would be so incredibly fun and liberating. It made me wish I was a man who could dress up as a woman. Since I can’t sing a note, this would be the perfect performing outlet for me!
It also made me wonder why we just can’t accept people for who they are and appreciate them. I must confess I don’t understand and am saddened by the latest wave of 2SLGBTQ+ violence happening in some communities. Humanity is not defined by what we wear, the colour of our skin or our sexual orientation. It is defined by how we act, kindness, acceptance, and love.
As the queens performed their big finale, we raised our glasses in cheers. Portions from each flight were donated to Collingwood Pride.
Here are some fun pictures of the afternoon. If you’re interested in catching a drag show, The Hayloft Dance Hall in Prince Edward County holds drag shows on Saturday nights during the summer months.
With groceries, hotel and restaurant prices through the roof these days, it can be a challenge to find things to do without spending an arm and a leg.
But as I recently discovered, there are still lots of things you can do for free and still have fun. Here are some fun events and things to do that don’t cost a dime coming up:
Fantasy in the Forest, July 15-16: if you’ve never been to Jamie Brick’s art show, you’re missing a real treat. Set on the shores of his beautiful property on Draper Lake, this unique local artist invites other fantasy artists to showcase their wares. One of the most interesting and unique shows you’ll ever attend in a drop-dead gorgeous setting.
Music in the Park: Thursday and Friday nights in Kingston. My favourite night is country music night on Thursdays when you can catch live music in the park, then head over for Movies in the Square. South Frontenac Township also hosts live music at a different beach each month in the summer. On July 29 it’s Dewy Roadkill at Gilmour Point Beach and on August 19 it’s Tyler Brett Forkes at The Point in Sydenham.
Brockville Railway Tunnel: Walk the 1km long old railway tunnel and marvel at the magical lights. Still one of the coolest, free tourist attractions in Eastern Ontario.
Princess Street Promenade in Kingston: it’s always a fun day when the main street in Kingston becomes a big pedestrian walkway. The next promenade is August 5, 2023.
Movies in the Square: grab a lawn chair, popcorn and beverage of choice and watch a favourite flick under the stars in Kingston’s beautiful market square. Every Thursday night throughout the summer. Read my post “Watch a movie under a starry sky”.
Jones Falls Stone Arch Dam: Park the car at the top parking lot and hike the trail, from the magnificent stone dam, down along the locks of the Rideau Canal. Bring your bathing suit and a picnic and make a day of it.
Elbow Lake Environment Educational Centre offers free presentations on Thursday nights throughout the summer. Upcoming talks include Nocturnal Animals on July 27, What Lurks Beneath: Aquatic Species Study on July 3 and a viewing of the Perseid meteor shower on August 10. You can even stay overnight (for a fee) in one of their cabins. Clare and I did this one summer.
For more ideas on fun, inexpensive things to do in this region, see 25 Things to Do in South Frontenac. Everything with an asterisk is free.
Kingston is a great place to catch music in the park followed by movies in the square on Thursday nights
A few weeks ago, I was rummaging through some of Clare’s castoffs and found an unopened 2023 Dog Trivia Daily Desk Calendar.
I took it to work and have been catching up on my dog trivia ever since. Here are some fun facts to make you smile during the Dog Days of Summer:
Dogs sleep between 12-14 hours a day
Elvis Presley sang his song “Hound Dog” to a top-hat wearing basset hound on a July 1956 episode of The Steve Allen Show
According to a 2017 study from the Journal of Nature, dogs make dramatic facial expressions and “puppy eyes” when they know humans are watching them
Hamilton composer Lin Manuel Miranda was inspired to write the ballad “Dear Theodosia” after adopting Tobilio, a stray puppy in 2011 (note you can catch the Toronto production of Hamilton on stage now)
Julius Caeser described mastiffs in his account of the Roman invasion of Britain in 55 BC
The Scottish terrier has been one of the Monopoly tokens since 1942
A golden retriever, Mayor Max II, was Mayor of Idyllwild California for eight years until 2022
Afghans have dolichocephalic (long) heads giving them a field of vision of 270 degrees
Weimaraner puppies are born with striped fur. Within days, the stripes fade
And for all you fellow dog lovers in South Frontenac, don’t miss the Dog Days of Summer event at the Frontenac Farmers Market this Friday, July 14 from 3-7 pm in Centennial Park.
Bring your pooch for a dog-themed outing. Get their photos taken, nails trimmed, enter to win a “ruff”-le basket and let your four-legged friend have some fun at the off-leash dog park. All proceeds go to Happy Tail Animal Sanctuary and Kingston Humane Society. I also read that the Kingston Humane Society has been at capacity recently. Summer is a great time to adopt a pet.
Did you know the dogs of the Frontenac Farmers Market have their own Instagram account? Follow them at frontenacfarmersmarketdogs.
What better way to kick off a new year than a top ten list? This year I’ve I’ve chosen 11 posts for all you Spinal Tap fans out there that will hopefully inspire you to make a positive change in the year ahead, with a few fun posts thrown in “for shits and giggles”.
Happy reading and may 2023 bring joy, health and happiness.
#2: As a blogger, you always wonder if your posts resonate with people. In June, after I posted this community success story about the Food Redistribution Warehouse in Kingston, a friend reached out to say they started volunteering there after reading my post.
And finally, before you make your New Year’s Resolutions for 2023, be sure to read
Thanks to all my loyal readers who follow this blog and read my posts on Sunday mornings. If you want to subscribe to receive posts by email, just click on the three dots in the upper right-hand corner and enter your email. Here’s to many #HappyActs in the year ahead.
The neighbour’s annual Christmas holiday gathering 2021
Last week after I wrote my blog, I went for a nice walk in the snow to look for the eagles that soar over our lake this time of year. I slipped on a slight skiff of snow on ice and fell and broke my ankle. Two trips to the hospital, one surgery, a cast and crutches later, I’m now staring down 6-8 weeks of sitting on my couch with all our holiday plans scuppered.
As the week wore on, we started getting calls and texts from neighbours who said they were planning to pop by with food. Not just food, full meals of pork roast and potatoes, Morroccan chicken with salad, pulled pork, beef brisket, ribs and chicken wings and treats and wine. We have enough food in the fridge now to last until Christmas without having to cook a meal!
We’ve always been blessed with best neighbours. As a kid growing up in Port Credit, our neighbourhood and the people in it were our entire world. All the neighbourhood kids hung out together playing street hockey in the winter and baseball in the summer. The Moms of the Neighbourhood were a powerful posse, watching over and taking care of us. On the one hand, it was great. If you needed help–you could knock on any door, but the downside was there were about 25 other parents watching your every move who could get you in trouble!
I appreciated this amazing group of women even more as a teenager when my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. For seven years, they visited, brought us food and helped drive my Mom to appointments, and then doing the same for my father after she passed away.
In 1995, Dave and I made a huge leap of faith and moved to a small farmhouse outside of the village of Sydenham where we didn’t know a soul. Our first two sets of neighbours were a family of sheep farmers and a single guy, a military communications officer named Kramer.
Kramer was like the Kramer of Seinfeld fame with a big personality and a big heart, but with a lot less hair. He would show up at our door out of the blue with a whiskey bottle in hand or come for dinner, and stay until the wee hours of the morning. We’d push him out the back door, watching him stumble and weave across the lawn in the moonlight and up the steps until he was home safe.
On the other side of us was a lovely family of five called the Orsers. They too became fast friends and we’d visit back and forth, especially during lambing season when Dave and I would spend hours in their barn, petting and holding the baby lambs. During the ice storm of ’98 when we lost power for two days, Neil and Pat and the kids all bunked down at our house since we had a wood stove.
When Kramer moved to the Wasaga Beach area, we said our sad goodbyes and welcomed new neighbours into our midst: a young couple by the name of Jeff and Karrie. Jeff and Karrie became some of our closest friends. It was Jeff who found our beloved cat Angus dead, hit by a car on the road and gently put him in a box and broke the news to us when we came home from work. It was Jeff and Karrie who babysat Grace for the first time, giving us our first afternoon out as new parents. They live in Edmonton now—our kids are all grown up, but we still keep in touch.
When we made the move from Sydenham to Verona, we thought the same thing: there is no way we’ll ever have such great neighbours, but yet again, we were wrong. Our one neighbour Mark Berry reminded me so much of my Dad who had passed away just after we moved into our beautiful lakefront property.
Mark was the inventor of the “unbirthday party”. He’d putter over to our house on his tractor bearing gifts for us and the kids “just because”. His dog Buddy became best friends with our border collie, even sleeping some nights on our deck in our lawn chairs in the summer. We were very sad when he moved back to Toronto to be closer to his children.
Fast forward to today, when once again we have the best neighbours ever. Through the years, our little tight-knit community has grown even closer. Whether it’s popping by for a drink, getting together to celebrate one of the kids’ birthdays next door, graduation celebrations, Canada Day fireworks, or our Christmas Eve tradition of gathering at one of our houses, our time spent together has become some of my favourite memories here on the lake.
They’ve become extended family, and have been a huge life support for us, especially this year. I honestly don’t know what we would have done without them.
So thanks my dear friends and neighbours, for your love and support, friendship and all the delicious food that is now overspilling from my fridge. I look forward to sharing many more precious memories in the years ahead with my favourite neighbours, the best neighbours in the world!
Clare trick or treating with the neighbours’ kids this year
I watched Bad Mom’s Christmas last week. There’s a line in the movie when Moms Amy, Kiki and Carla rebel against the pressure of trying to create the perfect Christmas for their families and declare they are “taking back Christmas”.
I’m not sure at what point Christmas became a thing we needed to take back. If I had to pinpoint a timeframe, I’d say somewhere in the early 2000s, when gifts spiralled into electronics costing hundreds and thousands of dollars, pre-lit trees made an appearance, and suddenly decorating your yard became a Griswold-like affair.
Wise man Dave especially hates how commercialized Christmas has become. I’m still a lover of the holiday season, but admit I sometimes feel the pressure of finding the perfect gift, and especially this year, finding time to decorate, bake, send out cards and all the trappings and wrappings of Christmas.
So this year, I’m pledging to Marie-Kondo-the-flock-of-sheep out of Christmas by only doing things that bring me joy.
This is what brings me joy over the holidays:
Collecting pine boughs and decorating festive urns (what doesn’t bring me joy? When Bentley eats all the twigs with the red berries I picked)
Watching a small town Santa Claus parade—highlights this year were the unicycle club from the local high school, seeing our friend Jay ride the beat up Zamboni they use to clear Sydenham Lake rink, and of course the jolly old elf himself—even Dave was singing Christmas carols
Going to a church cantata or concert and listening to holiday music
Watching Christmas movies eating homemade caramel corn in front of a crackling fire and festive tree
Getting together with the neighbours and of course, spending time with family
You’ll note shopping and wrapping didn’t make my nice list, so I think I’ll cut back this year.
So who’s with me? This week’s #HappyAct is to take back Christmas or Hannukah, or whatever you celebrate. Seek joy and peace this holiday season and avoid the trappings.
“Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are.” – Harold S. Kushner, prominent American rabbi, and author.
Today is World Kindness Day, a day to celebrate and promote good deeds and kindness. Last week I reflected on the state of kindness in the world in “Take the high road”. This week, I’m adjuring all of us to do one #KindAct to spread happiness and kindness in the world. Here are some ideas on how you can kind it forward:
Ways to kind it forward
Reach out to a friend or family member you haven’t spoken to in a while.
If there’s been a rift, forgive them. Apologize and be a good listener.
It seems everyone is sick with some kind of cold or flu right now. Take someone who’s feeling under the weather a bowl of soup, magazine or some baked goods.
Many communities right now are holding food drives for their local food bank. I spoke to our local food bank the other day and their shelves are desperately low and they anticipate higher demand with food prices soaring. South Frontenac Township is holding a food drive during the whole month of November. You can drop off items at the arena, 4432 George Street or 2490 Keeley Road.
This one’s my favourite: do a random act of kindness that will make someone’s day, like buy a coffee for the next person in line or the drive-through or leave a beautiful card with an inspirational saying in a neighbour’s mailbox.
Hug your family and tell them you love them.
Be kind to yourself.
Kindness isn’t a day. It isn’t a single act. It defines who we are as individuals and a society and who we aspire to be.
The best way we can make the world more kind is simply engaging, listening and caring for others.
What will your act of kindness be today? More importantly, what will it be tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that? Leave a comment—I’d love to hear about how your day went.
Is it just me, or does it feel like nobody takes the high road anymore?
Last week, I was out for my lunchtime walk, and I came across an altercation at the local high school. There was an older student on the one side of the road screaming at two kids across the road. The language was deplorable but it was the intensity and hatred that made me stop in my tracks.
I wasn’t sure whether I should intervene, or just mind my own business and keep walking. I was concerned it could escalate into something far more serious. I hesitated for about half a minute, then walked up to the girl who was yelling and swearing and her friends, asking if there was a problem and whether I could help.
The girl glared at me and said, “Those two have been staring at me non-stop for the past three days. They needed to be put in their place.” She had other choice words for the two kids that I won’t repeat here.
Now, I don’t know what transpired between these two groups of kids, and I know it’s high school, but I will say this whole incident really disturbed me.
First, I can tell you I never once spoke to anyone like that in high school. Sure, there were cliques and kids who didn’t like each other and didn’t get along, but you mainly stuck with your own friends and avoided them. No one ever stood in a street and hurled vitriole and swear words at the top of their lungs for the whole world to witness.
Second, this girl said these kids had been “staring” at her for the past three days. If that was their biggest crime, I can only imagine how this girl will cope some day when she experiences real conflict at home, with her friends or in the workplace.
I think what upset me the most though was this girl thought it was OK to act and speak like that. In fact, not only did she defend herself and her actions, she took pride in her response, saying someone had to stand up to them, they deserved it.
I just couldn’t stop thinking, if this is what our kids think is normal and acceptable behaviour, what hope do we have as a society of being kind to each other and battling the divisiveness that seems to be permeating our culture?
To me, it’s simple. You never know what people are dealing with in their lives. That’s why you should always take the high road and turn the other cheek.
It comes down to two basic tenets: treat others with kindness and respect.
This week’s #HappyAct is to always take the high road. Have a kind week.
Happy Act 