Secrets to happiness from around the globe

Sign with definition of Gezellig

Every country has its own unique belief system and language to describe happiness. Let’s take a quick trip around the world to see how other cultures seek and find happiness:

Joyous Icelanders embrace theta reddast, the belief that everything will work out in the end.

Italians believe dolce far niente, the sweetness of doing nothing.

In France, people exude joie de vivre, the joy of living.

Chinese xing fu is the art of finding your purpose.

The Dutch celebrate Gezellig, time spent with loved ones in a convivial and cozy atmosphere.

Germans believe in ruhe, finding peace and quiet.

And then there are the Scandinavians–the Danes known for hygge, the art of creating comfort and coziness and the Finns who value sisu, having the psychological strength to overcome extraordinary challenges.

Some countries have embedded happiness into their political and economic systems. Bhutan measures Gross National Happiness instead of GDP based on four pillars: ecological sustainability, preservation and promotion of a free and resilient culture, good governance and equality before the law, and sustainable and equitable socio-economic development.

I think North Americans could learn much about happiness from these other cultures. The ones that resonated most with me were the sweetness of doing nothing, finding peace and quiet, and believing everything will work out in the end. Which ones resonated most with you?

If you’d like to learn more about happiness around the globe, read The Atlas of Happiness: The Global Secrets of How to be Happy by Helen Russell. The common denominator in all these cultures? The power of positivity goes a long way. Have a happy week.

Try a new sport like Stocksport

Stocksport lanes with stocks and daube in the middle

I once worked with a fellow who said never try a new sport after 50. He said if you’ve played a sport like hockey or skiing all your life, you can keep doing it well into your 70s or 80s, but never start a new sport after 50 because it was a recipe for disaster.

I’ve recently started playing stocksport or ice stock with our local South Frontenac Stockport Club.

Ice stock is a winter sport that originated in Austria and Southern Germany. It’s like curling, but instead of throwing rocks, you throw stocks into the house. In the summer, it’s called stocksport when you play on a concrete surface and in winter it’s known as ice stock when you play on ice.  

Teams of four slide their stocks to get closest to a round rubber target that looks like a puck called the “daube” which is placed in the middle of the house. The daube moves which makes the game more interesting and adds an extra layer of strategy from curling. You also can switch out the plates on the stock to make your stock go faster (for take-outs) and slower.

Ice Stock Sport has been demonstrated at the Winter Olympic Games on two occasions.

While stocksport isn’t widely known in Canada, there is a devoted group of stockers and our little club punches well above its weight, sending members to the World Championships and competing internationally.

For anyone looking for a new sport or pastime, I’d highly recommend it. It’s a highly social game, so it’s a great way to meet new people in your area, easy to learn and play (I’m already getting the hang of it), and fun.

What I love most about our South Frontenac Stocksport Club is how warm and welcoming everyone is. The club includes people from ages 10 to 80 from all walks of life. Everyone is treated equally and greeted with a smile and encouraging word, no matter how new to the sport you are or how good you are.

Yesterday the club held its annual tournament. My team placed third out of eight teams, winning the bronze prize (our choice of coolers, awesome!)

This week’s #HappyAct is to try a new sport. To learn more about the South Frontenac Stocksport Club, follow them on Facebook.

Competitors throwing stocks in stocksport
Competitors pointing at stocks in tournament

The little lending library that could

Me and Clare beside a little lending library in Pennsylvania

Last week, during my regular lunchtime walk, I stopped at a little lending library outside one of the old beautiful limestone homes that grace this area.

I don’t always stop when I see little lending libraries, but sometimes I do. I looked inside and saw more than 50 packets of seeds in addition to the regular array of books.

I decided to help myself to some watermelon and malva seeds and found two books on my reading wish list: The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein and The Beautiful Mystery by Louise Penny.

Next week I’ll replenish my neighbour’s little lending library with a couple of books from my own bookcase I’ve read.

The origins of the original Little Free Library begain in 2009 when a Wisconsin fellow by the name of Todd Bol built a model of a one-room schoolhouse and put it on a post on his front yard and filled it with books with a sign, “Take a book, share a book” .

He built more, and soon it became a movement with others doing the same. According to littlefreelibrary.org, today there are more than 150,000 registered little free lending libraries in the world. There’s even a mobile app so you can find the one nearest you. In many communities, little lending food pantries have appeared, stocking canned goods or even fresh vegetables from people’s gardens.

The story of the little lending library that could is a tale of inspiration and hope. It embodies all that is good in a world where sometimes it’s hard to see the good: people helping others and their community through an action as small as sharing a book or a packet of seeds.

This week’s #HappyAct is to take a book or share a book. If you’re really ambitious and want to build your own, check out these 10 designs from familyhandyman.com.

two books and two seed packets

Photos: I didn’t have my phone with me during my walk, but here’s a picture of a little lending library we visit in Clark’s Summit, Pennsylvania on our trips down south. Above: my treasures from my latest haul from my little lending library near my work.

Happier Together

child smiling in Kinshasa

This Wednesday, March 20 is the International Day of Happiness. The day was declared by the UN in 2012 to recognize that happiness is a fundamental human right and to encourage nations and individuals to spread happiness and make happiness a priority.

The theme the UN has chosen this year is #HappierTogether. Here is a picture from their photo album of people from all over the world smiling, happier together.

It’s such a poignant theme. As individuals and societies, we’ve withdrawn from human connection, partly out of necessity from COVID-19, but also self-imposed.

Technology has only exacerbated this trend. We delude ourselves into thinking we’re more connected now by cell phones and technology, but these devices have somehow divided us, becoming platforms for discordant voices and viewpoints or have become something we hide behind instead of doing the real work of connecting with people in person.

Even our work lives have become more isolating with millions of workers now not even leaving their homes to experience human connection.

There are certain groups that are at higher risk of being unhappy in isolation, seniors and youth being two critical demographics.

After COVID, I blogged about “languishing” and wondering why I wasn’t chomping at the bit to get out and reconnect with people again. I concluded that it wasn’t because I had social anxiety and didn’t miss people, I just didn’t have the energy to re-enter the world.

It’s time. Time for us to reach out, be kind to each other, and understand that without human connection, most of us will never truly be happy.

It’s time to find the energy and make a conscious effort to be happier together.

This week’s #HappyAct is to do something to be happier together. Volunteer in your community, invite a neighbour over for a drink, check in on a senior. Post a picture of you smiling this week with people who make you happy and who you enjoy spending time with.

Happy International Day of Happiness!

My family smiling and acting goofy

Me and Elmo sending hugs

Elmo from Sesame Street

A few days after Bell Let’s Talk Day, everyone’s favourite furry monster from Sesame Street, Elmo asked a simple 9-word question on Twitter (X): “Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing?”

It unleashed a tidal wave of responses, over 55,000 to be exact including celebrities like Chance the Rapper and Rainn Wilson and the usual brands trying to capitalize on what’s trending. They were raw, sad, and hurting. Here were some of the replies.

man's tweet about his wife left him
Oreo cookie tweet "ran out of milk"
Man's tweet about being depressed and broke
man's tweet asking Elmo if he has a mortgage
man's tweet saying he feels like oscar the grouch
Rainn Wilson's response to elmo of being at a crossroads
man's response to Elmo
Depressed winnie the pooh
Dominos pizza oven on fire

As I was reading the comments of people pouring their hearts and souls onto the page, I felt tears well up in my eyes. How can there be so many people feeling so sad and hopeless in the world? Even the brands didn’t try to sugar coat it with Oreo leading the pack saying we ran out of milk.

The one that resonated with me the most was the GIF of a stick character in fast motion getting out of bed, going to their computer, working all day, then going back to bed and doing it over and over again. That’s the way I felt when I was working from home during COVID.

Elmo sent this beautiful note to everyone who took the time to respond:

Elmo saying he's glad he asked and checked in on people

So to all of you reading this who may be feeling sad or disheartened right now, me and Elmo send hugs. I’m giving out free hugs all this week to anyone I see who needs one (the best Valentine’s Day present someone can give).  

Here’s to sunnier days, sweeping the clouds away where the air is sweet, friendly neighbours meet and every door opens wide to happy people like you and me.

Love Laurie and Elmo

The High Beams Story

quote "Give compassion, every day the average person fights epic battles never told just to survive"

If I had one wish for 2024, it would be for the world to be more compassionate.

Yesterday when we were driving to Cobourg for hockey, there was a person driving a bit erratically. As we passed them on the highway, I looked over, expecting to see someone on their phone and noticed they looked distressed.

 

We started talking about a post we’d seen on our local community Facebook group about high beams. Someone posted an apology to people driving on the highway the night before, saying they just had their new car in for servicing and something happened and they couldn’t unlock their high beams so they were blinding everyone on the drive home. Apparently it’s a known issue with a certain make and model of car.

 

I can only imagine how many people that night were cursing under their breath, calling them an a**hole and worse, thinking they were doing it on purpose or were just a bad driver.

 

It’s a good reminder that you never know what is going on in a person’s life and to be compassionate.

 

So the next time someone is short with you or does something that ticks you off, remember they may be having a bad day or fraught with worry, or something else may be going on that deserves your compassion instead of your censure.

 

Remember the high beams story.

The greatest gift of all

Fishing trophy

Like many fathers, my Dad wasn’t exactly into Christmas. After my Mom passed away, he’d decorate the house by putting one teensy weensy bow above the fireplace, declare to anyone in the room who was listening “Festive, ain’t it?”, then promptly fix himself a rye and ginger.

Every year when we asked Dad, “What do you want for Christmas?”, his response was always the same: “just the love of you kids around me” (and a six-pack of beer).

Fast forward twenty years, and Dad’s words were echoing in my head throughout the day yesterday. We hosted our annual gathering of the neighbours. There was lots of smiles, laughs, and good cheer even though there was less to be cheerful about this year, singing, sharing of food and drink and enough presents to fill up Grinch’s sleigh.

Our neighbours Kim and Bruno gave us one of the best Christmas presents ever: a custom fish trophy made with Bruno’s 3-D printer, four identical lures, one for Dave, Clare, Grace and me and a year-long fishing tournament challenge: to see who could catch the most fish with the tried and true Berkley Flicker Shad 7. What a wonderful gift: a year of fun on the water and friendly jibes to see who is the best fisherperson in our family.

Not to be outdone, my neighbour Charlene gave us a wonderful gift basket but in it was my second favourite present ever: a mug that says “Most people never get to meet their favourite player—I’m raising mine”. Charlene always picks out the perfect mug or cup for us every year.

Our cottage neighbours brought some beautiful gifts as well, but their best gift was when their son Daniel sat down on the piano and played Chopin and Christmas tunes as the kids sang along.

As I sip my coffee this morning in my new mug, and dream about the first warm days when the ice is out and I can make my first cast in the soft light of the morning, I think my Dad was right. The greatest gift of all is having the love and laughter of the people you care about around you.

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

coffee mug with saying on it
some of my wonderful neighbours
some of my wonderful neighbours
young man playing the piano and young boy singing

Drag yourself to a drag show

drag queens on stage

When I grow up, I want to be a drag queen.

Last weekend, my friend Barbara and I went to the Clark’s Drag Show at the Thornbury Craft Company. It was part of Collingwood’s Pride celebrations which they hold in July instead of June presumably because that’s when the town is hopping with cottagers and summer visitors.

It had been more than 30 years since I had been to a drag show. The last time I had seen drag queens on stage was at a bar on the island of Mykonos in Greece when I was in my 20s.

It was such a fun afternoon! The three queens Katinka Kature, Heaven Lee Hytes, and Mira Fantasy strutted their stuff in their sequined outfits, leotards and stunning wigs, hamming it up for the crowd to their favourite pop tunes. There was a bachelorette party on the patio, and everyone was singing along, dancing in their seats as we sipped on our ciders and stuffed tips down their tops.

As I watched the queens perform, it struck me that to be able to assume an exciting, alter-ego would be so incredibly fun and liberating. It made me wish I was a man who could dress up as a woman. Since I can’t sing a note, this would be the perfect performing outlet for me!

drag queen performing

It also made me wonder why we just can’t accept people for who they are and appreciate them. I must confess I don’t understand and am saddened by the latest wave of 2SLGBTQ+ violence happening in some communities. Humanity is not defined by what we wear, the colour of our skin or our sexual orientation. It is defined by how we act, kindness, acceptance, and love.

As the queens performed their big finale, we raised our glasses in cheers. Portions from each flight were donated to Collingwood Pride.

Here are some fun pictures of the afternoon. If you’re interested in catching a drag show, The Hayloft Dance Hall in Prince Edward County holds drag shows on Saturday nights during the summer months.

man putting money down the top of a drag queen
Man and drag queen
drag queen
drag queen performing

How to Not Spend Money and Still Have Fun

Brockville Railway Tunnel

With groceries, hotel and restaurant prices through the roof these days, it can be a challenge to find things to do without spending an arm and a leg. 

But as I recently discovered, there are still lots of things you can do for free and still have fun. Here are some fun events and things to do that don’t cost a dime coming up:

  • Fantasy in the Forest, July 15-16: if you’ve never been to Jamie Brick’s art show, you’re missing a real treat. Set on the shores of his beautiful property on Draper Lake, this unique local artist invites other fantasy artists to showcase their wares. One of the most interesting and unique shows you’ll ever attend in a drop-dead gorgeous setting.
  • Music in the Park: Thursday and Friday nights in Kingston. My favourite night is country music night on Thursdays when you can catch live music in the park, then head over for Movies in the Square. South Frontenac Township also hosts live music at a different beach each month in the summer. On July 29 it’s Dewy Roadkill at Gilmour Point Beach and on August 19 it’s Tyler Brett Forkes at The Point in Sydenham.
  • Brockville Railway Tunnel: Walk the 1km long old railway tunnel and marvel at the magical lights. Still one of the coolest, free tourist attractions in Eastern Ontario.
  • Princess Street Promenade in Kingston: it’s always a fun day when the main street in Kingston becomes a big pedestrian walkway. The next promenade is August 5, 2023.
  • Movies in the Square: grab a lawn chair, popcorn and beverage of choice and watch a favourite flick under the stars in Kingston’s beautiful market square. Every Thursday night throughout the summer. Read my post “Watch a movie under a starry sky”.
  • Jones Falls Stone Arch Dam: Park the car at the top parking lot and hike the trail, from the magnificent stone dam, down along the locks of the Rideau Canal. Bring your bathing suit and a picnic and make a day of it.
  • Elbow Lake Environment Educational Centre offers free presentations on Thursday nights throughout the summer. Upcoming talks include Nocturnal Animals on July 27, What Lurks Beneath: Aquatic Species Study on July 3 and a viewing of the Perseid meteor shower on August 10. You can even stay overnight (for a fee) in one of their cabins. Clare and I did this one summer.

For more ideas on fun, inexpensive things to do in this region, see 25 Things to Do in South Frontenac. Everything with an asterisk is free.

Kingston city hall at night

Kingston is a great place to catch music in the park followed by movies in the square on Thursday nights

The Dog Days of Summer

Frontenac Farmers Dogs Instagram feed

A few weeks ago, I was rummaging through some of Clare’s castoffs and found an unopened 2023 Dog Trivia Daily Desk Calendar.

I took it to work and have been catching up on my dog trivia ever since. Here are some fun facts to make you smile during the Dog Days of Summer:

  • Dogs sleep between 12-14 hours a day
  • Elvis Presley sang his song “Hound Dog” to a top-hat wearing basset hound on a July 1956 episode of The Steve Allen Show
  • According to a 2017 study from the Journal of Nature, dogs make dramatic facial expressions and “puppy eyes” when they know humans are watching them
  • Hamilton composer Lin Manuel Miranda was inspired to write the ballad “Dear Theodosia” after adopting Tobilio, a stray puppy in 2011 (note you can catch the Toronto production of Hamilton on stage now)
  • Julius Caeser described mastiffs in his account of the Roman invasion of Britain in 55 BC
  • The Scottish terrier has been one of the Monopoly tokens since 1942
  • A golden retriever, Mayor Max II, was Mayor of Idyllwild California for eight years until 2022
  • Afghans have dolichocephalic (long) heads giving them a field of vision of 270 degrees
  • Weimaraner puppies are born with striped fur. Within days, the stripes fade

And for all you fellow dog lovers in South Frontenac, don’t miss the Dog Days of Summer event at the Frontenac Farmers Market this Friday, July 14 from 3-7 pm in Centennial Park.

Bring your pooch for a dog-themed outing. Get their photos taken, nails trimmed, enter to win a “ruff”-le basket and let your four-legged friend have some fun at the off-leash dog park. All proceeds go to Happy Tail Animal Sanctuary and Kingston Humane Society. I also read that the Kingston Humane Society has been at capacity recently. Summer is a great time to adopt a pet.

Did you know the dogs of the Frontenac Farmers Market have their own Instagram account? Follow them at frontenacfarmersmarketdogs.