Category: family

Posted on in entertainment, family, holidays, pop culture, relationships

Love Actually is in an airport

My daughters Clare and Grace back together again

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Ottawa airport… It seems to me that love is everywhere.

This week, I picked up a very special package from the Ottawa airport. Kid #2 arrived on a Porter Airlines flight on Wednesday morning after being down east at school for the past four months.

So maybe love wasn’t everywhere when I went to pick Clare and maybe I ripped off that line from the opening scene of Love Actually, but the feelings of love and anticipation of seeing Clare after her being away for so long has made me a romantic at heart.

I love that opening scene from the movie, parents reuniting with children, old friends slapping each other on the back, and husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends kissing and hugging each other with misty tearful eyes.

The reality of course was slightly different. I didn’t actually go into the Ottawa terminal. I missed the turn for the arrivals lane after seeing a sign that said Car Rental Return and had to make a U-turn and circle around the endless airport loop, Grace remonstrating with me and calling me a loser the entire way.

If we had entered the terminal, instead of seeing happy smiling faces reuniting, we probably would have seen half a dozen people making a frantic 100-yard dash to the bathroom after their seven-hour flight, another half a dozen cursing at their phones because the person picking them up was late, and at least one exhausted mother with two snotty-nosed kids trying to find her Uber.

I mean, c’mon. It’s not like we were going to see a young buxom brunette hopping into the arms of the Prime Minister. Wait, hold the ministerial phone. Did I just see Katy Perry launch herself at Justin at the gate, his strong arms encircling her while she wears a jaunty beret? Maybe the movie is true to real life after all.

The point is, maybe love actually can be found in an airport terminal. One thing is for certain. You have a better shot at finding love than your luggage if you fly Air Canada.

This week’s #HappyAct is my Christmas wish for you: to have a sweet reunion with someone you love. Happy holidays, and be sure to check back next week for my top ten happy acts of 2025.

Posted on in entertainment, family, Food and drink, holidays, poetry

My favourite holiday things

Cardinal and cardinal garland on a Christms tree

Over the years, I’ve shared many of my favourite things about the holidays. To me, Christmas has never been about one day, or the presents under the tree. It’s about all the small moments and simple joys that make this time of year special and bring me happiness and peace.

Frosty cold mornings and snow laden trees
And favourites like Elf, Home Alone and White Christmas on TV

Pretty green garlands of fresh spruce and pine
Glasses of egg nog, hot cocoa and wine

Local church concerts and carols sung on high
Finding the perfect gift then waiting for the Amazon guy

Filling the gaps in our old Christmas tree
With shiny bright lights, homemade ornaments and memories

White chocolate-dipped Oreos and Mrs. Garrett’s butter tarts
Nanaimo bars and haystacks and shortbreads cut in hearts

Candles glowing softly and red cardinals in the air
Reminders of those we’ve lost but still with us everywhere

Bowie and Crosby, The Pogues and Buble
Handel’s Messiah king of kings on Christmas Day

Gatherings with neighbours and laughter with friends
A time to reflect and to make amends

Fighting over the chocolate in the advent calendar
And constantly refilling the Scotch mint candy jar

The anticipation Christmas Day brings
These are a few of my favourite things

This week’s #HappyAct is to enjoy your favourite things in the lead up to the holidays. What are your favourites?

Posted on in entertainment, family, holidays

Find a new holiday tradition

Author and her girlfriends in front of a Christmas sign

This weekend, my girlfriends and I were talking about holiday traditions and lamenting the fact that “family time” over the holidays often involves each member of the household hidden away in different rooms on their devices.

We all decided we needed a new holiday tradition but had a hard time coming up with any good ideas. So I thought I’d reach out to you, my loyal readers to ask, what do you do in your house or with your family to spend meaningful time together over the holidays?

We’re only looking for answers that are an outing or activity–something we can do as a family that doesn’t involve screens (so not things like wearing the same Christmas pajamas, ugly sweaters or watching White Christmas on Christmas Eve).

Here were some of the ideas we bandied around:

  • Gingerbread house decorating contest
  • Family drive to see Christmas lights
  • Going to see a holiday concert or play
  • Playing indoor golf, bowling, laser tag or pool
  • Carolling around the neighbourhood

Sadly, while we think these would be fun, some are expensive for a family of four or six and there is a good chance our adult-grown children would groan and protest at things like carolling, so anything that is affordable and passes the Bah Humbug metre is a bonus.  

Help us rediscover the joy of the holidays with our families and share your ideas by leaving a comment.

Read more about two of my favourite holiday traditions (although the first one is very unique to our family—you won’t want to adopt it!)

Posted on in ageing, family, mental health, retirement, work

Retirement: a man’s perspective

Man with a big fish

Special guest blog by Dave Swinton

Retirement has been a difficult transition for me. I’m coming up on two years now and I still haven’t adjusted as well as some people do. I was sitting this afternoon, watching the rain pelt against the window obscuring a grey fall transition to winter, when it hit me.

Nobody needs me anymore.

I was always in middle management in my career. Always giving vague direction and punishing people for not reading my mind as the old Dilbert cartoon used to read. My specialty was putting out fires. People came to me looking for answers and I tried my best to write a plan on a cocktail napkin and hope it worked well enough to fool my superiors. 

My days were an endless mix of planning, timesheets, scheduling, maintenance and finding the best ways to get the most out of each and every person who worked for me. I loved being needed at work even if I didn’t always love the work itself. Fast forward two years later and the only decisions I have to make are which trail to walk the dog on and what we are having for supper. Work doesn’t need me anymore.

My kids certainly don’t need me either. Both are out living their lives, one almost finished university (so proud) and looking at where she will end up next, the other knee-deep studying whatever biochemistry is. Except for rare conversations about new musical groups (Red Clay Strays and Tyler Childers) and the odd supper, they are completely and utterly embracing their own lives. No more rides to a remote hockey rink on a snowy winter road, no more conversations asking for advice on relationships. They don’t need me anymore.

Honestly the only person who even tolerates me is my life partner. Truthfully, I think if she had to pick between me and the dog, we all know who would win. Bookending Monday badminton and Tuesday line dancing is Friday writing groups and Saturday stock sport tournaments. She has embraced retirement with gusto and I am glad for this. She doesn’t need me anymore.

All the influencers talking about retirement being the golden age should have their heads examined. For some, retirement is a time to worry, to wander aimlessly trying to find direction and meaning in their lives, all the while wondering if their investments will support them until they leave this earthly abode. 

I know that some of you are saying to yourself, what does he have to whine about? Lives on a lake, semi-good looking, gorgeous wife, yada, yada, yada but for some, myself included, the emptiness from not being needed outweighs all aspects in life.

Tread well into retirement my friends, sometimes it’s not all as advertised.

And if you see a white Dodge Cummins diesel with a 30-foot trailer rolling down the 401 at a buck twenty, festooned with Kingston BMW logos on it, know that someone is still depending on me to deliver a car that is worth more than my last annual salary. I guess someone still needs me……….

More on retirement

Posted on in family, Food and drink, holidays, humour

Happy turkey day

Roasted turkey

Conversation with Clare over FaceTime this morning. She’s cooking a turkey for the first time for her friends in Halifax. We’re in the car driving to our local conservation area to walk off last night’s Thanksgiving dinner:

“I’m cooking a turkey for our Friendsgiving tonight. How long do I cook it for?”

Dave: “How many pounds is it?”

“18 pounds.”

 “6 hours at 350 then.”

 “6 hours? I ain’t got time for dat.”

 “I hope it’s unfrozen. Did you take it out of the freezer?”

“I don’t know, it’s been in the fridge.”

“You better check to make sure it’s unfrozen or it won’t be ready in time. What time are you having dinner?”

“6 pm” (it’s 12 noon in Halifax already). Yells to her roommates: “Make sure you turn the fire alarm off”. Then, “How do I tell if it’s unfrozen?”

“Stick your hand inside it and see if it’s hard.”

“Oh lordie, lordie that’s cold. It’s a little hard but I think it’s mainly unfrozen. What do I do next?”

“You have to look for the neck and giblets and take them out.”

“Jib what?”

“Giblets. They’ll be in a little bag.”

“Okay, I got them. What was the other thing?”

“The neck.”

“Huh?”

“It looks like 4-inch penis. You have to pull it out.”

“I don’t see anything that looks like that.”

I’m laughing so hard at this point I miss the turn to the conservation area. Dave has to stop giving turkey instructions to give me road directions.

Dave: “There might not be a neck. Not all turkeys come with the neck and it’s okay to cook it with the neck in if it is there.”

“Okay, now what do I do?”

“Just add some water to the bottom of the pan, cover it up and put it in the oven.”

At this point, she gets distracted and starts talking to Grace about her outfit. “Is that a pink Lululemon top? I love it.”

Grace: “Yeah, I’ll bring it to Halifax when I come see you on the weekend so you can steal it from me.”

She finally finishes covering up the turkey with foil and puts it in the oven. She holds up her happy face oven mitts wide with pride.

“Happy Turkey Day guys.”

To all my loyal readers, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. We were grateful for the family, friends and laughter around our table last night but missed our loved ones far away.

Posted on in ageing, family, lifestyle, money, retirement, work

What I’ve learned a year into retirement

Author in Scotland

It’s been a year since I retired, and other than taking on a few gig jobs, I’ve fully embraced my new life of leisure.

I know some people struggle with the decision. I remember years ago sitting in a retirement seminar with some colleagues. One of my friends said, “I don’t think I’ll retire anytime soon—I just don’t know what I’d do with my days.” This is a common refrain and fear. The experts all say the same thing, you need to retire to something, not just from work.

I thought it might be helpful to share what I’ve learned about retirement to help anyone thinking about taking the big leap.

  • If you think you will miss work, think again. Unless you’re an artist or have a super cool job like a back-country ski instructor, pilot, or amusement park ride inspector (we have a friend who does this for a living and is constantly posting pictures of riding awesome rollercoasters), you won’t miss the work. I stopped thinking about the office about 10 seconds after leaving it. I still miss some of the people though.
  • Structure is good. Most people need some structure in their lives. Choose some regular weekly activities that get you out of the house and give you structure in your day.
  • On the flip side, don’t overbook yourself, especially in the first year. You want to have the flexibility to explore, do fun things, and try new activities.
  • Try not to worry about money. This was one of the best pledges I made to myself in retirement. Nearly every retiree, unless you’re uber rich worries about money. It just comes with the territory. Be aware of your spending, have a budget and try to stick to it, but know that there are options, like taking part-time jobs, looking at your investment income, or downsizing your home if need be.
  • Time moves on a different continuum when you’re retired. Before if you were packing for a trip, you might only have an evening free to get ready. Now you might have two or three days and it still doesn’t seem like enough. Embrace the slower pace—you’ve been rushing all your life.
  • Don’t be surprised if you don’t do some of the activities or things you thought you wanted to do. I always pictured myself golfing once a week in a ladies league, but I’ve discovered I’m not as passionate about golf as I thought I was.
  • You may get bored from time to time. What a wonderful problem. Seize the opportunity to go somewhere and see or do something new, or just veg for the day. Call or meet up with a friend or family member you haven’t seen in awhile. I know it sounds corny, but I have a jar with ideas for day trips, overnight trips and bigger trips. When we have a free day, and feel like doing something, we grab an idea from the jar and off we go. The world is your oyster.
  • Women tend to transition better to retirement than men. One of my friends attended a retirement planning session and the facilitator said to the women in the room, “Go get a coffee, this segment doesn’t apply to you, you’ll be fine, but men listen up. You will struggle more.” That has certainly been the experience for Dave and me and many of our friends. I’m not sure if it’s because a man’s identity is more closely linked to his work, or that women are more social, but men struggle more with what to do and how to fill their days. Go back to point two: have a structure.

For me, retirement has been a huge blessing. I’ve enjoyed having the freedom to do the things I’ve wanted to do, get more active, and help out in my community. The one thing that has been difficult is we transitioned to empty nesters at the same time we retired. We miss the kids terribly sometimes, but then we look out and see the sun shimmering on the lake, and hear the loons and fish calling our names, and we head out, grateful for the gift of time to enjoy each day.

Are you retired and have advice to share, or is there anything that has surprised you in retirement? Leave a comment.

Photos: Above: me in Scotland this July and below, on the Ranney Gorge Suspension Bridge in Campbellford. The suspension bridge was one of the ideas in my day trip jar, so I stopped to check it out on the way home from Peterborough one day.

Author on suspension bridge
Posted on in arts, entertainment, family, Historical, holidays, travel

The ten best little museums in Canada

Man holding up a canoe at the Canadian Canoe Museum

It’s the last weeks of summer. Whether you’re planning a final road trip with the family or just looking for staycation ideas, now is a great time to visit a museum. Here is my top ten list of little museums that are perfect for a one hour or half-day stop. Be sure to check their websites for any free admission days.

  • Miner’s museum in Glace Bay, Nova Scotia: while the museum itself is small, the experience is large, making this museum one of my favourites in Canada. Join a former miner as you walk down the stopes underground and learn about coal mining in Cape Breton.
  • Canadian Canoe Museum in Peterborough: We visited this terrific little museum in 2020 before it expanded and relocated to the shores of the Trent-Severn waterway. I’m itching to go back to see what new treasures and exhibits are on display. You can even now spend a morning or afternoon paddling on site. Read my post An Afternoon at the Canadian Canoe Museum for the full rundown.
  • Les Trois Pignons rughooking museum in Cheticamp, Nova Scotia: located near the end of the Cabot Trail, this museum features astonishing works of art made from rughooking, the region’s specialty. It costs only $7 and you can tour it in about half an hour, making it well worth the stop.
  • Bata Shoe museum in Toronto: Opened in 1995 after the Bata family’s private shoe collection outgrew its home, this famous little museum has been attracting visitors for more than 30 years. Current exhibitions include the history of the cowboy boot, how crime investigators use footprints and footwear in their work, and footwear through the ages.
  • Toronto Holocaust Museum: Opened in 2023, this new museum on Bathurst St. north of Sheppard inspires visitors to think deeply about the tragedies of the Holocaust and make connections between the holocaust and contemporary world events and Canadian life. Montreal also has a holocaust museum. It’s currently under renovation and will reopen its doors in 2026.
  • The Canadian Potato Museum in Prince Edward Island: quintessentially Canadian, we loved this little museum that celebrates PEI’s biggest export (20% of the potatoes in Canada come from PEI). Learn about how spuds are grown and their importance to the development of Canada’s smallest province and enjoy a selection of potato dishes in their restaurant. Bonus points for having one of the friendliest and accommodating staff around—our family arrived in late April when the museum was still closed, but they let us in for free and let us look around “as long as we didn’t mind the mess”.  
  • Diefenbunker: located in Carp just west of Ottawa is a four-storey underground bunker built in 1959 by Prime Minister Diefenbaker to serve as the headquarters and communications hub during the Cold War.
  • Tim Horton’s Museum in Hamilton: located on the second floor of the original Tim Hortons store in Hamilton at 65 Ottawa Street, this little museum recently underwent renovations. Make sure you order a double double when you’re there.
  • Gopher Hole Museum in Torrington, Alberta: Touted as the “world famous” gopher hole museum, this museum is by donation and features vignettes of gophers and a gopher gift shop. You gotta see it to believe it.
  • Kingston Penitentiary Museum: eclipsed by the Kingston Penitentiary tours (fantastic by the way and free with the tour), don’t miss this fantastic little museum in the historic warden’s house across from the pen. Learn how famous inmate escaped and life behind bars—the perfect one-hour visit.

This week’s #HappyAct is to visit one of Canada’s great little museums. And my apologies to BC: even though I’ve been to British Columbia many times, I never visit museums because the province is so beautiful, I tend to spend all my time outdoors.

Here’s a bonus museum for when we’re all ready to travel to the States again: It’s a Wonderful Life Museum in Seneca Falls, New York. Still under renovation, plan to visit this wonderful little museum in the future. Read my Lessons on Life and Happiness from the museum.

Photos: above: Dave holding up a canoe at the Canadian Canoe Museum. Below: our guide at the Miner’s Museum in Glace Bay; Clare and I in front of the Canadian Potato Museum this spring; one of the incredible rughooking works of art of Confederation at Les Trois Pignons rughooking museum in Cheticamp, NS.

Miner tour guide at the Miner's Museum in Glace Bay
Rughooking tapestry
Posted on in family, lake living, nature

On the pontoon

People on a pontoon boat ride

We have a new ride these days, a pontoon boat. Everyone is loving it, from the kids to the dogs, garnering Dave a new nickname, Captain Dave.

Since they were first introduced, pontoon boats have channelled the ultimate party vibe. Step onto the astroturf, get your koozie, let’s go.* You can fish, swim and tube off of them, or just sit back and enjoy the ride.

There is one cottage couple on our lake who take a nightly sunset tour on their pontoon boat, waving regally in the breeze to their neighbours on their docks and decks as they putter along the shoreline.

The pontoon boat is a relatively new invention. It was designed in 1952 by a rural Minnesota farmer named Ambrose Weeres who tied a wooden deck to two aluminum cylinders. He started manufacturing his invention, and the rest, they say is history.

When I was a teenager, I spent many of my summers up at friend’s cottages. Pontoon boats hadn’t made a splash yet on Ontario lakes in those days. It wasn’t until the early 2000s when boat manufacturers starting revving up the horsepower that pontoon boats became all the rage.

All of a sudden, pontoon boats started replacing high-powered speed boats on Ontario’s waterways. Now it seems the only people with speedboats are waterskiiers and fishermen. Today, more than 50,000 new pontoon boats are sold each year in the US.

Pontoon boats are great for many reasons. For people with accessibility issues, they provide a safe, stable means of getting out and enjoying the water. You can have a conversation on a pontoon boat, as opposed to yelling over the motor in a speedboat. They are also highly practical since they can carry large loads of people and items for cottagers needing to barge supplies across the water.

That’s all wonderful, but let’s face it, it’s the vibe of a pontoon boat that is irresistible.

Whether it’s the gentle breeze blowing in your hair, the lure of the perfect cast and catch at dusk, or simply enjoying a laugh and smile with friends and the people you love on the water, a pontoon is the ultimate summer ride.

The best months of summer are upon us. This week’s #HappyAct is to make some waves and catch some rays and party in the open on a pontoon.*

*Lyrics from Little Big Town’s 2012 hit, Pontoon

Man and woman eating chips on a pontoon boat

Pictured above: Partying on the pontoon last weekend at our friend Libby and Murray’s cottage; Below: Captain Dave, the girls, and Grace and me on our pontoon.

Man at the helm of a pontoon boat
Two teenagers high fiving on a pontoon boat
Mother and daughter smiling on a pontoon boat
Posted on in dogs, family, humour, parenting, work

Lessons in parenting, dog rearing, and leadership

Dog and teenager

Years ago, when my kids were young, I wanted to write a book called “700 Ways Raising Kids and Dogs are the Same”. I didn’t because it’s already been written.

But as my dogs and children grew old and I progressed in my career, my belief that the same principles for being a good parent, dog owner, and leader became even more steadfast. These are the principles:

  • Trust is the foundation of everything
  • Just when you think you have a handle on things, know things will change
  • If you set clear expectations, it will usually get done, but probably not on your timeline
  • Food is a great motivator
  • Treat them equally, but different, and give them your full support
  • Seek and capitalize on their strengths, instead of focusing on what they can do better
  • The best ideas come from the most unusual places (in the case of children, never underestimate their creativity or intelligence)
  • Always be yourself: you can never hide who you truly are—they’ll know
  • Be present—it’s the best gift you can give them
  • There is no substitute for love and encouragement

This week’s #HappyAct is show love and encouragement at work and at home (and when all else fails, bribe them with some treats).

A final note on parenting: I read only one parenting book and listened to one audiotape before we had kids. I remember one story about a father trying to get their teenage son to put the garbage out each week. Every week, he’d remind the kid it was garbage day and to put the garbage out. The teenager kept forgetting. Then one day, the kid put the garbage out. When the father looked surprised, the kid said, “What? It’s my job.” The kid put it out every week after.

Posted on in ageing, family, parenting

Make time for messy exploration and play

Woman standing in a daycare

Do you wish sometimes you never grew up? That you were still a child, with no worries, responsibilities, or never-ending to do lists in your head, just the prospects of a new day of exploratory play and learning?

I found I was mourning the loss of my inner child a bit yesterday when I toured an absolutely amazing facility, the Child Care Centre in Sharbot Lake as part of the 50th anniversary celebrations of Rural Frontenac Community Services. The Centre was founded by my dear friend Audrey Tarasick who served as the Centre’s director for a decade in the 1990s. As part of the celebrations, the Centre dedicated a bench in the playground to Audrey who passed away last year.

As I toured the Centre, I could feel Audrey’s presence in every kiddie cubbyhole, reading nook and painting cranny. There were tiny wood tables and chairs, a big circle carpet with trees and clouds, and toys everywhere. Audrey loved children and she had the unique ability to see the world through a child’s eyes and let children guide their learning by letting them play, explore and take the lead.

I saw artwork and toys and banners with messages like “Learning is messy business,” “Creativity is messy and we are very messy”, and “Every child is an artist”.

It made me wonder why, as adults, we hate mess and seek out organization and structure, and what impact this has on our creativity, happiness, and ability to learn and play?

I bumped into Marcie Webster who has worked with RFCS for 34 years and who remembered me from the days when I brought my two girls to her play groups. She shared a story about one of her first few days at work. A child had mixed some red paint with yellow paint and Marcie had said to the child, “Try not to mix the colours”. Audrey asked her why she told the child that, and Marcie said so the paints would be intact for the next child. Audrey replied, “But the child was exploring and learning like a scientist. Let them learn.”

Early in my career, I worked as a copywriter for an educational toy company, Discovery Toys. Their motto was “Play is a child’s work” and their belief was children learned through exploration and play. Because I had to write about the toys, we would play with them every day. I literally was paid to be creative with the toys and play. It was a great job.

When it came time to take a photo of Audrey’s family on the bench, instead of sitting normally, one of her great-grandsons hung upside down with his legs flopped over the back of the bench (his family later asked him to “sit properly” for an official photo). I snapped a picture of Walt upside down and thought, “Audrey would have loved that.”

This week’s #HappyAct is to break the chains of adulthood and let your inner child lead this week. Just be messy and explore. You’ll never know what you may learn–or how much fun you’ll have doing it.

Boy hanging upside down on bench

Photos: Main: Marcie Webster, one of the longest-serving employees at the Child Centre in Sharbot Lake in her EarlyON play group room. Above: Walt having fun and exploring upside down on Great Grandma’s bench.

Play area with sign "creativity is messy and we are very creative"