I’ve always been rather agnostic about my birthday. I like getting presents and eating cake, whatever the occasion, but when you are an adult, a birthday never feels like a day to celebrate for some reason. It’s probably because for many of us, it’s just another day and reminds us of our age and of all the negative physical aspects of aging.
That’s why I was pleasantly surprised when I saw on Facebook yesterday a post by a friend of mine that started with the words “Happy Birthday to Me”. She shared that she was celebrating another year, another day, another opportunity to enjoy life, and was so thankful for all the blessings in her life.
It was so refreshing to see someone truly embrace their birthday and its true meaning: a celebration of being alive.
So this year, I’ve decided I’m going to celebrate my birthday, not with balloons or cupcakes or presents (although a Dairy Queen ice cream cake would be scrumpdillyicious).
I’m going to celebrate me…still here, still dreaming, still contributing, still loving, still planning my next adventure, still laughing, still alive.
If I had one wish for 2024, it would be for the world to be more compassionate.
Yesterday when we were driving to Cobourg for hockey, there was a person driving a bit erratically. As we passed them on the highway, I looked over, expecting to see someone on their phone and noticed they looked distressed.
We started talking about a post we’d seen on our local community Facebook group about high beams. Someone posted an apology to people driving on the highway the night before, saying they just had their new car in for servicing and something happened and they couldn’t unlock their high beams so they were blinding everyone on the drive home. Apparently it’s a known issue with a certain make and model of car.
I can only imagine how many people that night were cursing under their breath, calling them an a**hole and worse, thinking they were doing it on purpose or were just a bad driver.
It’s a good reminder that you never know what is going on in a person’s life and to be compassionate.
So the next time someone is short with you or does something that ticks you off, remember they may be having a bad day or fraught with worry, or something else may be going on that deserves your compassion instead of your censure.
It’s all too easy to reflect on the sad news stories of 2023: the war in Ukraine, Gaza, the summer of smoke and wildfires, skyrocketing inflation. Brighten your day by looking back on the top happy acts of 2023:
This summer, my best friend Leslie and I toured the “It’s a Wonderful Life” Museum in Seneca Falls, New York. I fell in love immediately with this wonderful little museum said to be the inspiration for the town of Bedford Falls in the Christmas classic.
As the story goes, Frank Capra, the film’s director visited Seneca Falls in 1946 after returning from the war. He loved the town with its beautiful bridges so much, he based Bedford Falls on it.
While in town, Capra no doubt also heard the story of Antonio Varacalli, a young 19-year old Italian man who jumped off one of the town’s bridges in 1917 to rescue a woman from drowning. While Varacalli successfully saved her life, he drowned, sacrificing his own life for another.
There is a plaque dedicated to Varacalli on the bridge and today people from around the world place bells on the bridge helping to give angels their wings in tribute to the film and its message of hope, friendship, love and self-worth.
The museum, which is currently in a temporary location on the main street as the main building undergoes renovations has photos, memorabilia and quotes from the film and the actors. Every year, the museum hosts a “It’s a Wonderful Life” Festival weekend on the second weekend of December with gala dinners, the chance to meet cast members and people associated with the film, special screenings, parties and more. The dates are Dec 8-10 this year and you can see the full list of events here.
What struck me the most as I was wandering around the exhibits and listening to the marvelous old songs from that era was the lessons on life and happiness from the film, both woven into the dialogue of the movie itself, but that has also become part of the lore and culture surrounding It’s a Wonderful Life.
Old Man Potter in the film says, “I am an old man, and most people hate me. But I don’t like them either so that makes it all even.” Lionel Barrymore, the actor who played Mr. Potter was quoted as saying, “The older you get, the more you realize that kindness is synonymous with happiness.”
From Angel Clarence: “Remember, no man is a failure who has friends” and “Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”
In an interview of the film, Capra once said, “It’s a Wonderful Life sums up my philosophy of filmmaking. First, to exalt the worth of the individual. Second, to champion man, plead his causes, protest any degradation of his dignity, spirit or divinity. And third, to dramatize the viability of the individual, as in the theme of the film itself. There is a radiance and glory in the darkness, could we but see, and to see we only have to look. I beseech you to look.”
This week’s #HappyAct is to watch this holiday classic in the next month and make plans to visit the museum in Seneca Falls (you won’t want to miss the National Women’s Hall of Fame and Women’s Rights Museum which are also undergoing renovations).
I’ll leave you with a famous interview Capra did in 1976 that beautifully summarized the meaning and appeal of the film.
“I like people. I think that people are just wonderful. I also think people are equal in the sense of their dignity, their divinity; there’s no such thing as a common man or uncommon man.
To me, each one is actually unique. Never before has there been anyone like you. Never again will there be anyone like you.
You are something that never existed before and will never exist again. Isn’t that wonderful? Isn’t that something pretty exciting? So I look at you as something that plays part of a great whole, an equal part of everything, or else you wouldn’t be here.” – Frank Capra
I’m a huge fan of TedTalks. Recently, I stumbled across one on the science of smiles by Ron Gutman, a professor from Stanford University whose mission is to help everyone live happier, healthier lives.
Gutman talks about a 30-year old study from the University of Berkeley, California that looked at old photos in school yearbooks and measured the success and well-being of the graduates throughout their lifetime based on their smiles. The students with the biggest smiles tended to lead more successful, well-rounded lives.
Another study involved looking at old baseball cards and the longevity of the ball players in correlation to the smiles on their cards. The ball players with the biggest smiles lived the longest.
Gutman says one-third of people smile more than 20 times a day, but sadly 14% of us smile less than 5 times per day. Children smile more than 400 times per day.
He claims smiling creates the same positive brain stimulation as eating up to 2,000 bars of chocolate!
Smiling is one of the most basic expressions of humans and something we all do every day.
This week’s #HappyAct is to make a conscious effort to smile at least 20 times a day this week and if you see someone sad, struggling or frowning, ask what’s wrong, tell them a joke, or do something to put a smile on their face.
Reflections of Who I am Who I want to be Personified in Perfect symmetry
Lines blur and blend Bending to my will Distorting where reality ends And make-believe begins
I drift in and out Amongst the reeds and the trees My memories floating Dancing on the surface
Reliving the past Without absorbing What might have been What still could be
Filling an aching void Always reproachful Always critical A bright light Thrown back from the surface
If only we could change To reflect a better version of ourselves A flawless mirror Illuminating the beauty And light within our soul
Ed. note: The idea for this poem came to me after spending time looking at the beautiful reflections of the trees on the water on my lake. At first, it was going to be a photo essay, but it morphed into a poem after I visited a sculpture called “Reflections“ last weekend in a park in Pickering. The sculpture was erected in memory of those who lost their lives to COVID. Here was the description:
“Amongst the panels sits a solitary void to the open sky. The mirrors encourage us to see ourselves from different perspectives and contemplate the personal and collective experience of self-reflection and solitude. The missing mirror examines themes of loss and grief, representing those we lost to COVID-19. Every day as the sun crosses behind the sculpture, the bright spot created by the void cuts through the shadow as it swings across the ground. This light is a reminder that although our loved ones may be gone, they are not forgotten and will continue to be present in our daily lives, drifting in and out, both in influence and memory.”
I’ve just finished reading two books, Neil Young’s biography Wage Heavy Peace and Neil Pasricha’s New York Times Bestseller from 2016, The Happiness Equation.
Both were great reads and even though they were very different books, the authors shared a common message: to be happy and successful in life, you have to do it for you.
I didn’t know much about Neil Young before I read his biography, other than he grew up in Omemee (pronounced Oh-me-me) outside of Peterborough and of course his music, since I’m a big fan.
To say he’s led an interesting, incredible life is an understatement, but I was surprised to learn of all the health challenges, personal tragedy and struggles he’s shared in his life from polio as a child, to back surgeries, grief and loss.
Throughout, music has been his inspiration, solace, escape and passion. I wasn’t aware of his other passions in life–his love of old cars, model trains and his quest to revolutionize sound by developing technology to restore the purity of records through his company Pona and interest in electric vehicles through his Lincvolt project. What an amazing guy.
Did he pursue any of these things because his record labels wanted him to, or to sell records or ingratiate himself with fans? No, he did it for himself.
Young insisted on festival seating for all his indoor shows, even though it meant less money for the band because he wanted people who were stoked to be there at the front of the stage instead of “rich folk on cell phones”, saying the feeling of the shows and experience for the band and audience was much better. He once had his manager rewrite the contracts for a tour already booked because they hadn’t included festival seating.
A writer once accused him of compiling his archives just to further his own legend “whatever that is”. He writes, “What a shallow existence that would be…” and then in classic Neil Young fashion, “it pissed me off.”
In The Happiness Equation, Parischa openly admits he was a victim of his own success early in his career, equating happiness with more book sales, speaking engagements and the number of hits on his blog.
Parischa talks about intrinsic and extrinsic motivators, saying the happiest people are driven by intrinsic motivation. They eschew the critics, the pressure to do what others want them to do, and they forge their own path. He quotes John Lennon who once famously said, “I’m not judging whether ‘I Am the Walrus’ is a better or worse than ‘Imagine’. It is for others to judge. I am doing it. I do. I don’t stand back and judge…I do.”
This week’s #HappyAct is to take it from the Neils and do it for you.
This week, a part of Canada died. Gordon Lightfoot passed away at the age of 84.
A troubadour and master storyteller, his soothing voice and spellbinding lyrics captured the essence of life, love and everything Canadiana, making him one of our most beloved national artists of all time.
Here are songs and lyrics from my favourite Gordon Lightfoot songs of all time to add to your playlist, a tribute to the man and legend. Even now, as I read these lyrics and listen to the beautiful strains of his guitar, my eyes well up.
Song for a Winter’s Night
The lamp is burnin’ low upon my table top The snow is softly falling The air is still in the silence of my room I hear your voice softly calling
If I could only have you near To breathe a sigh or two I would be happy just to hold the hands I love On this winter night with you
Christian Island
I’m sailing down the summer wind I’ve got whiskers on my chin And I like the mood I’m in As I while away the time of day In the lee of Christian Island
Minstrel of the Dawn
The minstrel boy will understand He holds a promise in his hand He talks of better days ahead And by his words your fortunes read Listen to the pictures flow Across the room into your mind they go Listen to the strings They jangle and dangle While the old guitar rings
Canadian Railroad Trilogy
There was a time in this fair land when the railroad did not run When the wild majestic mountains stood alone against the sun Long before the white man and long before the wheel When the green dark forest was too silent to be real
The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings In the rooms of her ice-water mansion
Pussywillows Cattails
Pussywillows, cat-tails, soft winds and roses Rain pools in the woodland, water to my knees Shivering, quivering, the warm breath of spring
Don Quixote
Through the woodland, through the valley Comes a horseman wild and free Tilting at the windmills passing Who can the brave young horseman be
Beautiful
At times I just don’t know How you could be anything but beautiful I think that I was made for you And you were made for me
The Last Time I Saw Her Face
Her eyes were bathed in starlight And her hair hung long The last time she spoke to me, Her lips were like the scented flowers Inside a rain-drenched forest But that was so long ago That I can scarcely feel The way I felt before
Here’s a clip of Lightfoot performing That’s What You Get For Loving Me with Johnny Cash in 1969.
Happy Act 