Embrace your natural self

Nicole Richie with purple hairI was catching up on entertainment news this week and saw a clip on Nicole Richie, who is sporting shocking purple hair for her reality series. A day later, I saw an article in People magazine on celebrities who’ve had tattoos removed (more about tattoos in a minute).

I’m always curious why people feel they need to change what’s given to them naturally. Let me be clear to pre-empt the inevitable comments about being prejudiced against people who look different. I’m not against purple hair or tattoos. I’m all for being different and applaud individuality. I just don’t get why you would want to drastically change your natural self.

If you’re in the entertainment industry, it’s different–it’s about image and attracting attention. Two people I admire are Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. Both are incredibly talented artists and brilliant businesswomen who aren’t afraid to take risks and showcase their individuality in different ways. Interesting, both also have not been afraid to show their natural looks to their fans and public.

As a society, I think it’s safe to say we are obsessed with appearance. I’ve always preferred the natural look, but I’ll admit there is a secret side to me that wishes I wasn’t so “normcore”. Yes, I discovered there is a name for people like me. Normcore is “being unselfconscious in a society that’s gone uber-conscious. For the sake of argument, let’s call it trendlessness,” according to the Financial Post.  As I get older, I’ll admit I’m more self-conscious about my looks, especially the effects of aging. But any desire I have to change my appearance stems from a desire to restore my natural beauty that is fading with age, as opposed to trying to change what I look like.

There is a girl I know who epitomizes what I’m trying to say about embracing your natural self. She often has a pink or purple streak in her hair and wears funky clothes. These outward expressions actually convey her natural self beautifully, which is someone who is fun, energetic and who has an incredible outlook on life.

Finally, a word on tattoos. Again, for the record, I think tattoos are really cool and view them as incredible works of art. I will never get one for two reasons. First, I have a cardinal rule to avoid inflicting pain on my body. Second, they irreversibly alter my natural self. Hair styles, clothes—they can all be changed at the drop of a dime but tattoos are forever.

There is a third reason, and that is a question I’d like to put out there without judgement. Like it or not, we are a society obsessed with appearance. People stare at tattoos. In your interactions in life, do you really want your tattoo to speak for who you are? For this reason, and because tattoos are forever, I don’t think anyone under the age of 25 should get tattoos. There, I said it. Let the comments fly.

But before you lambast me, read this article on what visible tattoos might do to your chances of being hired.

This week’s #HappyAct is to embrace your natural self, whatever that may be. Don’t be afraid to show who you are, but make sure what you do on the outside expresses who you are on the inside.

Have a double s’cream day

Girl eating ice cream sundaeOne of my favourite weeks of the year is our annual family vacation. Each year we pick a region in the States, set up base renting a home from vrbo.com and then go exploring. This year our home base was Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. Here’s the house we rented this year—it was beautiful.

As always, we had a super week. We visited Gettysburg, Hershey’s Chocolate World and amusement park, Longwood Gardens, Herr’s potato chip factory, and spent a day swimming in the ocean in Chesapeake Bay and tubing on Pequea Creek, a beautiful little tributary of the Susquehanna. Everyone had horses, and we felt very privileged to be there just twelve hours after our neighbour’s horse gave birth to a beautiful black foal.

Coming home is always bitter sweet, but we made it extra sweet by having a double ice cream day yesterday. We stopped in Jim Thorpe, PA for a walk about and an ice cream cone, then had sundaes at Friendlys for dessert for our last supper on the road. I can’t think of a better way to end a vacation.

This week’s #HappyAct is to have a double ice cream day. Throw caution and your waistline to the wind just once. Why not today? After all…wait for it…it is sundae!

Empty sundae dish

Go for a swing

Girl in hammock
Swaying in the breeze with Murphy by my side

The lazy, hazy days of summer are finally here. When it gets hot, and I mean really hot, ambition goes to the wind with the warm summer breeze and we usher in a new routine: the afternoon siesta.

My favourite place for an afternoon summer siesta is my hammock. I love looking up at the leafy trees and down at the shimmering lake while the hot breeze ruffles the trees. When the kids were young, we’d spend time in the hammock every day, singing silly songs, talking or simply swaying side to side to the chirping of the birds.

Today, we associate hammocks with leisure and sadly, laziness. But the benefits of rest and sleeping in a hammock are well known. I remember watching a documentary about aboriginal cultures and how they use hammocks as cradles for infants. There are many studies that support the benefits of sleeping in a hammock and how the swinging motion synchronizes brain waves, allowing people to doze off faster and attain a deeper state of sleep.

I don’t need a study to tell me that there is no better way to while away a hot summer afternoon than in my hammock. It’s decadence at its finest and pure bliss.

This week’s #HappyAct is to go for a swing. Don’t feel guilty about lazing away an hour or two. You deserve it. And if you don’t have a hammock or two sturdy trees to put one up, a swing or rocking chair will do.

Pay homage to the king

IMG_0743On July 5, 1954, Elvis Presley walked into Sun Studio in Memphis and recorded “That’s All Right” with guitarist Scotty Moore and bassist Bill Black.

If I close my eyes, I can imagine the recording session. The sound of mike stands and music stands scraping across the studio floor, voices echoing in the air, the twang of guitars practicing riffs, then a quick 1-2-3-4 and the sweet sounds of rock ‘n roll filling up the non-descript studio.

It’s been 60 years since Elvis rocked the music world, launched an entire new musical genre and forever changed the face of rock ‘n roll. He will forever be the King.

This week’s #HappyAct is to pay homage to the king. Watch an Elvis movie (my favourite is Blue Hawaii) or listen to some of his classics. The last time I was in Nashville, I bought a four CD disc of his gospel songs at Ernest Tubbs record shop on Broadway. (Elvis often warmed up in the studio by singing a gospel song before a recording sessions). Graceland has planned many special events this summer to commemorate 60 years of rock ‘n roll. Why not plan a visit. Leave a comment. What’s your favourite Elvis tune or movie?

Blog author in Sun Studio

Sun Studios in Memphis
Sun Studio in Memphis

Pick Wildflowers

This week’s post is written by guest blogger and buddy Alison Taylor, fisherwoman extraordinaire.
WildflowersI spent a number of years working in a big city, where I did the mad dash from the commuting train to the office.  Rushing past the office towers, surrounded by concrete and glass and then jumping in the elevator and getting to my desk and logging into my computer to start my day.  Then at the end of the day, I would do it all over again heading back to the train station and hope I made it in time to pack in with my fellow commuters for the ride home on the train.  Then I would get home, park in my driveway of my high density subdivision and walk into my house shut the door behind me and then do it all over again the next day.
How times have changed.  A number of years ago I made a decision that it was time to take note of my surroundings and be in an environment that would feed my soul, make me smile, give me a chance to take a deep breaths and enjoy the smells and beauty around me.
I found a place that “feeds” me in this way and I found a “happy act” that I participate in every summer that brings me joy.  I left the big city and settled down in a small community just west of Kingston. No more mad dashes, no more concrete, glass office towers.  Now I drive to Kingston on country roads, walk to the office admiring the limestone buildings and the view of Lake Ontario. At the end of the working the day I drive along the country road that I live on which has ditches full of wild flowers and behind our house are paths through the forest that invite you to explore.  The air is full of such freshness and the sweetness of blossoming flowers. Lilac bushes are bursting, buttercups and daisies are bending out towards you, the purple vetch plant has welcoming purple flowers and wild asters beckon you to come closer.
I take long walks and pick a variety of wild flowers along my way. By the time I complete my walk I have gathered a lovely bouquet. I take my collection of flowers and put them in vases in my house, on my deck and even take them to work and place them on my desk.  They remind me that it is important to take a moment and enjoy the beauty around me.
For some, beauty is in the glass and concrete of the big city, but for me, beauty is in the growth and development of the summer wild flowers that grow along the wayside, waiting for someone like me to pick just a few and enjoy their simple beauty.  My Happy Act is “Picking Wild Flowers”.  I invite you to try it…there are plenty of flowers for everyone and you might just find it will bring a little more happiness to your day.

 

Do something adventurous

Young man in the 1930s standing in front of an airplane
John Gillies, the pilot

My father was a creature of habit. He had five shirts in his closet, one for Monday to Friday. He ordered the same meals when we went out for dinner and always golfed on Sundays in the summer. The neighbours set their clocks by his daily walk with our old dog Bailey.

When my Dad passed away 12 years ago, we held a celebration at a restaurant. There were lots of laughs and drinks raised in his honour, which is exactly how he would have wanted it. When we were putting together a small display for the restaurant, the full richness of my Dad’s life starting forming in the pages, and it struck me that my dad had a hidden adventurer in him.

There were pictures of him fishing in Northern Ontario and playing trombone at the Palais Royale in Toronto. There were photos of him standing nonchalantly in an airplane hanger in front of the plane he flew when he was in his 20s. There were photos of him meeting the Queen of England (as the press coordinator for the Royal tours in Canada in the 70’s, he met most of the royal family several times and dined on the Royal yacht).

I like to think there is a bit of a hidden adventurer in all of us. In many ways I am like my dad, a creature of habit, but with a hidden adventurer waiting to explore the world and the next adventure in my life.

This week’s #HappyAct is to do something adventurous. While often it’s the small moments and gestures in our lives that bring us the most joy and happiness, we all need a bit of adventure. My adventure this week will be tree top trekking in Muskoka next weekend with my girlfriends. And yes, I’ll be bringing my bug zapper!

To all you Dads out there celebrating Father’s Day, I hope it’s one of the best days of your life, and to my own wonderful husband, the “President Choice of Husbands”, thank you for being such a wonderful partner and father all these years.

Plan the best day of your life

I once heard an interview with Mike Myers of SNL and Austin Power fame where he was asked what his perfect day would look like. His answer was the exact same as mine. Well, actually, I have two perfect days and they both centre around my lake.

My first perfect day is a winter’s day (the same as Mike’s). I would sleep in, have a couple of cups of coffee and read the papers. The brilliant blue sky and warm sun shimmering on the snow would beckon me outside and I’d go play hockey on my lake all day, then come up for a glass of wine in front of the fire and a hot tub.

My perfect summer day starts off the same—sleeping in. Then I’d either sneak down to the lake for an early morning kayak or read the papers on the back deck. I might putter in the garden for a few hours or walk the dogs, but the day would be spent at the lake, swimming, reading, fishing, going for a paddle boat with my two girls and watching the sun kiss their hair, or exploring the waters with my snorkel and mask. The wine and hot tub part pretty well stays the same no matter what the season.

This week’s #HappyAct is to plan the best day of your life. What would it look like? Leave a comment and share—I’d love to hear it. One more #HappyAct for today: watch this funny, but heartwarming video from the band American Authors, the dog version of the best day. If you live in Ontario, don’t forget to vote Thursday.

Carry on the wisdom of mother Maya

Maya Angelou once said she had thousands of daughters. I was one of them. I had never met this great lady but like thousands of other women, have been inspired by her words and wisdom and was devastated when I learned of her passing on Wednesday at the age of 86.

Nearly all of my favourite quotes are from Maya Angelou. One I live by. It is “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” This has become a mantra for me in how I try to live my life and in my work as a communicator.

Here are some of my other favourite Maya Angelou quotes

“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”

“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.”

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”

“All great artists draw from the same resource: the human heart, which tells us that we are all more alike than we are unalike.”

“You can tell a lot about a person by the way she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

“There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you.”

This week’s #HappyAct is to carry on the wisdom of our mother Maya. Tell the untold story inside of you. Go out and kick some ass. Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud. God bless, Maya.

Buy a bug zapper

Lady with bug zapper
Practicing my form on the back deck

It’s a cruel joke when you live in Canada that as soon as the weather gets warm, the bugs come out. First, it’s swarms of black flies, followed by mounds of mosquitoes, then the cavalry arrives in the form of deer flies and horse flies that literally take a chunk out of your skin when they bite you.

I have found solace in this world of insects. It’s called a bug zapper.

The first bug zappers were potent. You could see the electricity coursing through the electric coils, and see and hear the spark when the bug got zapped. The latest versions have been dialed down a bit, probably because too many kids stuck their finger or tongue in them and got hurt.

To me, bug zappers are one of the pure joys of summer. They allow you to shift power and take back control in the war against bugs.

This week’s Happy Act is to buy a bug zapper. Don’t be driven indoors or let pesky pests spoil your summer. It will be the best $1.50 you’ll spend.

Clear some columns on the spreadsheet of life

cartoon character wants freedom from spreadsheetsI don’t know about you, but I’ve been a bit too busy lately. It all came to a head this week between work, school commitments, travelling and neglecting my family. It’s time to clear some columns on the spreadsheet of life.

I think most people carry around a virtual spreadsheet in their head. Mine has columns for work, Boards I sit on, school council to dos, social events, family commitments, planning the kids summer camp schedule, stuff to do around the house…some days it feels like the columns keep multiplying.

And then the May long weekend and summer comes along. Glorious, wonderful summer. Time to slow down, kick back and relax, and grab a beer.

Being busy is good. Being busy to the point where you miss spending time with your family or are constantly thinking about work or calculating your next move isn’t good. It’s easy to make the mistake of thinking it’s the sum on the spreadsheet that counts. It’s not. It’s the joy and enrichment you get out of life from the items on the rows and columns.

So welcome summer. It’s about time you got here. This week’s Happy Act is to clear some columns on your spreadsheet of life. Live in the moment and clear your mind of everything except wondering if the beer is cold and the lake is warm enough for that first dip.

Gotta go and make a to do list—let’s see, make potato salad, buy garden plants, buy beer…

This week’s reads

If you didn’t get a chance to read last week’s blog, Take the 90/110 challenge, read it now and take the challenge. Stay safe on the roads this weekend friends.

Tired of summer taking its sweet time? Read this great Toronto Start editorial, “Star demands action: Spring, you’re late.