If I had one wish for 2024, it would be for the world to be more compassionate.
Yesterday when we were driving to Cobourg for hockey, there was a person driving a bit erratically. As we passed them on the highway, I looked over, expecting to see someone on their phone and noticed they looked distressed.
We started talking about a post we’d seen on our local community Facebook group about high beams. Someone posted an apology to people driving on the highway the night before, saying they just had their new car in for servicing and something happened and they couldn’t unlock their high beams so they were blinding everyone on the drive home. Apparently it’s a known issue with a certain make and model of car.
I can only imagine how many people that night were cursing under their breath, calling them an a**hole and worse, thinking they were doing it on purpose or were just a bad driver.
It’s a good reminder that you never know what is going on in a person’s life and to be compassionate.
So the next time someone is short with you or does something that ticks you off, remember they may be having a bad day or fraught with worry, or something else may be going on that deserves your compassion instead of your censure.
It’s all too easy to reflect on the sad news stories of 2023: the war in Ukraine, Gaza, the summer of smoke and wildfires, skyrocketing inflation. Brighten your day by looking back on the top happy acts of 2023:
Like many fathers, my Dad wasn’t exactly into Christmas. After my Mom passed away, he’d decorate the house by putting one teensy weensy bow above the fireplace, declare to anyone in the room who was listening “Festive, ain’t it?”, then promptly fix himself a rye and ginger.
Every year when we asked Dad, “What do you want for Christmas?”, his response was always the same: “just the love of you kids around me” (and a six-pack of beer).
Fast forward twenty years, and Dad’s words were echoing in my head throughout the day yesterday. We hosted our annual gathering of the neighbours. There was lots of smiles, laughs, and good cheer even though there was less to be cheerful about this year, singing, sharing of food and drink and enough presents to fill up Grinch’s sleigh.
Our neighbours Kim and Bruno gave us one of the best Christmas presents ever: a custom fish trophy made with Bruno’s 3-D printer, four identical lures, one for Dave, Clare, Grace and me and a year-long fishing tournament challenge: to see who could catch the most fish with the tried and true Berkley Flicker Shad 7. What a wonderful gift: a year of fun on the water and friendly jibes to see who is the best fisherperson in our family.
Not to be outdone, my neighbour Charlene gave us a wonderful gift basket but in it was my second favourite present ever: a mug that says “Most people never get to meet their favourite player—I’m raising mine”. Charlene always picks out the perfect mug or cup for us every year.
Our cottage neighbours brought some beautiful gifts as well, but their best gift was when their son Daniel sat down on the piano and played Chopin and Christmas tunes as the kids sang along.
As I sip my coffee this morning in my new mug, and dream about the first warm days when the ice is out and I can make my first cast in the soft light of the morning, I think my Dad was right. The greatest gift of all is having the love and laughter of the people you care about around you.
Three years ago today, this big beautiful boy wagged his way into our hearts and lives. He arrived a week before Christmas fresh off a plane from Egypt.
Every dog has their own unique personality and spirit, but Bentley is special. He instinctively knows which one of us needs him most. This past week, when Dave was as sick as a dog with the flu, Bentley barely left his side and when Grace comes home tomorrow, I’m sure he will be snuggling up to welcome her home and make up for lost time.
He’s stupid, loveable, stubborn, lazy, ball crazy and we love him to bits.
Happy Gotcha Day Bentley.
The time he was drinking the toilet water and caught the toilet paper roll.
A couple of years ago, a friend of mine asked her Facebook friends to send her a Christmas card. She was a new Mom, isolated at home in a small Western town during a pandemic, desperate to have something to look forward to every day. I was happy to add her to my Christmas mailing list and now send her a card and our family newsletter every year.
Very few people still send Christmas cards in the mail. I think that’s sad. There’s something special about getting a card in the mail, especially at this time of the year.
Even though the number of cards we get each year is dwindling, I look forward with anticipation to reading each card and note, seeing the kids’ school photos or family holiday photo, and catching up on all the news from friends who live far away who aren’t on social media.
This week’s #HappyAct is to kick it old school and send a traditional Christmas card. It might just make someone’s day.
I’ve decided each year I’m going to try to resist the trappings and wrappings of the commercial side of Christmas and embrace a homemade yuletide celebration. Here are some easy, simple ideas to bring Christmas home:
Make your own egg nog. If you’ve ever had homemade egg nog, you’ll know it’s the BOMB! Check out Jaime Oliver’s egg nog recipe.
Try making a gingerbread log cabin or house from scratch instead of buying a store-bought kit.
A great craft to do with kids is making glass Christmas ornaments. Buy a dozen basic plain glass balls and a selection of paints. Pour the paint in the balls and swirl it around so it covers the whole surface, then turn them upside down to drain in egg cartons. If you choose any colour mixed with white, you get a beautiful hand-blown glass look.
Go for a hike and cut down some grapevine and cedar to make your own wreaths and garland.
If you’re not a great baker or cook, you can still make some simple yummy homemade treats to give as gifts. Check out this recipe for Spicy coated nuts and my recipe below for homemade caramel corn that Dave and I make every year
Be environmentally friendly and make your own holiday wrap using up that stack of plain brown paper bags sitting in your back closet. Make them festive by gluing pretty pictures from a magazine or old Christmas cards on them or spruce them up using sprigs of pine, ribbon or candy canes.
I’m not very crafty, but here are some of the treasured things I’ve made over the years for Christmas that bring me joy. Happy holidays!
Homemade Caramel Corn
2 cups popped corn (to make 30 cups of popcorn) 1 cup butter or margarine 2 cups firmly packed brown sugar 1/2 cup corn syrup 1 1/2 teaspoons salt 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
Pop the corn and place in two large roasting pans. In heavy saucepan, combine the rest of the ingredients. Stir over medium heat until sugar dissolves about 5 minutes. The butter won’t look like it’s blended in, but don’t worry about it. Remove from heat and stir in baking so it foams a bit. Pour over popcorn, stirring constantly, then place in a 250 degree oven for 45-60 minutes. Stir every 15 minutes.
This summer, my best friend Leslie and I toured the “It’s a Wonderful Life” Museum in Seneca Falls, New York. I fell in love immediately with this wonderful little museum said to be the inspiration for the town of Bedford Falls in the Christmas classic.
As the story goes, Frank Capra, the film’s director visited Seneca Falls in 1946 after returning from the war. He loved the town with its beautiful bridges so much, he based Bedford Falls on it.
While in town, Capra no doubt also heard the story of Antonio Varacalli, a young 19-year old Italian man who jumped off one of the town’s bridges in 1917 to rescue a woman from drowning. While Varacalli successfully saved her life, he drowned, sacrificing his own life for another.
There is a plaque dedicated to Varacalli on the bridge and today people from around the world place bells on the bridge helping to give angels their wings in tribute to the film and its message of hope, friendship, love and self-worth.
The museum, which is currently in a temporary location on the main street as the main building undergoes renovations has photos, memorabilia and quotes from the film and the actors. Every year, the museum hosts a “It’s a Wonderful Life” Festival weekend on the second weekend of December with gala dinners, the chance to meet cast members and people associated with the film, special screenings, parties and more. The dates are Dec 8-10 this year and you can see the full list of events here.
What struck me the most as I was wandering around the exhibits and listening to the marvelous old songs from that era was the lessons on life and happiness from the film, both woven into the dialogue of the movie itself, but that has also become part of the lore and culture surrounding It’s a Wonderful Life.
Old Man Potter in the film says, “I am an old man, and most people hate me. But I don’t like them either so that makes it all even.” Lionel Barrymore, the actor who played Mr. Potter was quoted as saying, “The older you get, the more you realize that kindness is synonymous with happiness.”
From Angel Clarence: “Remember, no man is a failure who has friends” and “Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”
In an interview of the film, Capra once said, “It’s a Wonderful Life sums up my philosophy of filmmaking. First, to exalt the worth of the individual. Second, to champion man, plead his causes, protest any degradation of his dignity, spirit or divinity. And third, to dramatize the viability of the individual, as in the theme of the film itself. There is a radiance and glory in the darkness, could we but see, and to see we only have to look. I beseech you to look.”
This week’s #HappyAct is to watch this holiday classic in the next month and make plans to visit the museum in Seneca Falls (you won’t want to miss the National Women’s Hall of Fame and Women’s Rights Museum which are also undergoing renovations).
I’ll leave you with a famous interview Capra did in 1976 that beautifully summarized the meaning and appeal of the film.
“I like people. I think that people are just wonderful. I also think people are equal in the sense of their dignity, their divinity; there’s no such thing as a common man or uncommon man.
To me, each one is actually unique. Never before has there been anyone like you. Never again will there be anyone like you.
You are something that never existed before and will never exist again. Isn’t that wonderful? Isn’t that something pretty exciting? So I look at you as something that plays part of a great whole, an equal part of everything, or else you wouldn’t be here.” – Frank Capra
Black Friday and the holiday shopping season is upon us. Canadians are being lured by savvy marketers with promises of up to 70% off, Black Friday Deals and Super Savings you can’t pass up.
While some people refuse to cave to the consumerism of the season, most of us succumb to varying degrees to the shopping craze this time of year.
Which begs the question. Does retail therapy make people happy? The science shows the answer is yes.
Even just the anticipation of making a purchase or treating ourselves to something we desire releases dopamine, the hormone neurotransmitter in our brain that makes us feel good.
The choices we make when shopping can restore a feeling of personal control and autonomy which helps in fighting feelings of sadness and anxiety over the things that are outside of our control in the world.
In another 2014 study by University of Michigan, researchers showed that purchasing things you personally enjoy can be up to 40 times more effective at giving you a sense of control than not shopping, and those who actually purchased items were three times less sad when compared to those who only browsed.
Shopping also stimulates our senses, creating pleasure, especially this time of the year when the stores have festive displays and merry music playing.
But before you go filling up your virtual or actual shopping cart, remember these caveats. For every instant hit of pleasure, there is a corresponding pang of potential regret when it comes time to pay the bills. You need to calculate whether the pleasure from the purchase would exceed the pain from the cost, and whether you can afford the purchase at all.
The Journal of Consumer Psychology study showed that even just the act of filling up your online shopping cart, then abandoning it, can create the same pleasure as if you had actually made the purchase.
In the end, spending less money may be more rewarding.
This week’s #HappyAct is to be a smart, savvy and happy Black Friday shopper. Find a few bargains and enjoy the small hit of dopamine, but don’t do anything you’re going to regret later.
Special #HappyAct Experiment: Go online this week to one of your favourite retailers and fill up your shopping cart with a bunch of items, then close down your browser without making the purchase. Did you feel happier just browsing? Leave a comment!
I’ve been sporting a new look this past week. Dave and Clare too. We’ve been going to work and school all glammed up with tiny pieces of dainty silver glitter on our faces and outfits.
No, it’s not a new fashionable holiday trend or a case of a family craft night gone bad. Let me explain.
It started a few weeks ago at Halloween. Grace and her boyfriend Devon dressed up as the Impossible Dream, the Maple Leafs hoisting the Stanley Cup. Devon was wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs Jersey and Grace was wearing a cute silver party dress she bought off a cheap online retailer. Here is a picture of them with the Toronto skyline in the background.
A few days later, Grace came home for a dentist appointment, and like a typical teenager, dumped all her laundry on the floor. After she left, I put on my hazmat suit and swept her room for suspicious substances, dirty clothes and garbage, then loaded the laundry machine with some towels and her clothes, including the glittery silver Stanley Cup dress.
You can guess the rest. When I went to fold our laundry, all the towels and clothes were covered in little grey sparkles and we’ve all been very glittery ever since.
We’d been styled by a cheap party dress and a dryer.
The reactions at work were priceless. People looked at me with a slightly bewildered look and asked if I had done something to my make-up. My friend Peggy said I looked like an angel. It resulted in a few laughs to brighten up the early dreary days of November.
The holiday season is soon upon us. This week’s #HappyAct is to add some glitter and glam to your life.
I’m a huge fan of TedTalks. Recently, I stumbled across one on the science of smiles by Ron Gutman, a professor from Stanford University whose mission is to help everyone live happier, healthier lives.
Gutman talks about a 30-year old study from the University of Berkeley, California that looked at old photos in school yearbooks and measured the success and well-being of the graduates throughout their lifetime based on their smiles. The students with the biggest smiles tended to lead more successful, well-rounded lives.
Another study involved looking at old baseball cards and the longevity of the ball players in correlation to the smiles on their cards. The ball players with the biggest smiles lived the longest.
Gutman says one-third of people smile more than 20 times a day, but sadly 14% of us smile less than 5 times per day. Children smile more than 400 times per day.
He claims smiling creates the same positive brain stimulation as eating up to 2,000 bars of chocolate!
Smiling is one of the most basic expressions of humans and something we all do every day.
This week’s #HappyAct is to make a conscious effort to smile at least 20 times a day this week and if you see someone sad, struggling or frowning, ask what’s wrong, tell them a joke, or do something to put a smile on their face.
Happy Act 