Tag: happiness

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Diss the dis in disability

This past week, Sesame Street introduced a new character with autism and launched a new website called “Sesame Street and Autism: See Amazing in All Children”.

This is a bold, exciting step. It’s time we finally dissed the “dis” in disability and see the strengths and gifts people have to offer, regardless of their limitations or challenges.

I have a bit of experience with kids with autism. I remember attending a play group of kids “on the spectrum”. The first week, you could tell the parents sitting on the bleachers were comparing mannerisms and skills of their kids. Some kids had more overt stimming behaviours, movements kids with autism do to self-stimulate. Some were better at the physical activities they had the kids do. Others clearly struggled with speech or making friends.

What was interesting was by the end of the third week, the parents didn’t see this any more. They saw a beautiful little boy Damien, with the most gorgeous smile and sweet disposition. They saw a tall, lanky and athletic girl named Georgia, who had a wonderful heart and tried to help the other kids. They saw past their disabilities to see their abilities and strengths.

As humans, it’s natural for us to like people like us. But those who are different have so much to offer and give.

This week’s #HappyAct is to diss the dis in disability. Fight the impulse to label someone the next time or your child meets someone and thinks they’re “weird” or “different”. Be open to who they truly are. If we can all do this, the world will be a more peaceful, inclusive and happier place.

Ed. Note: As a follow up to last week’s federal election, I was heartened on election night to see the faces of our new members elect of parliament. A record number of visible minorities and women were elected to our new parliament. That in itself is a great outcome.

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Find your happy place

saying about happinessA couple of week’s ago, I posted this image on Facebook.

All my life I’ve lived by water. Growing up in Port Credit, I lived by the Credit River and Lake Ontario. I’d spend my summers swimming in the Credit or at one of the many beaches along the lake. (Sadly, the beaches are often closed now due to high eColi readings and only a crazy person would swim in the Credit River anymore).

In Ottawa, when I was studying my Masters degree at Carleton University, I lived by the canal and not far from the Ottawa River. I biked in the summers along the river and canal, and skated to school and downtown in the winter on the world’s longest skating rink.

When Dave and I decided to get out of Toronto, we targeted five areas. The area north of Kingston, with its honeycomb of lakes was at the top of our list, and today I live on a lake and work at an office where I can see Lake Ontario from our offices.

There’s a scene in Happy Gilmour, where Happy’s golf coach tells him to go to his happy place.

This week’s #HappyAct is to find your happy place. Mine is water. What’s yours?

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Marriage is a life sentence

 

Bagpiper husband
My bagpiping partner in crime

Yesterday was my 23rd wedding anniversary. I always think of my father-in-law on our anniversary. John used to joke that “If I had murdered your mother instead of marrying her all those years ago, I’d be out on day parole by now.”

John and Donna were into their third life sentence when she passed away this year—they would have celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary in June.

Dave and I always say that we’re inmates for life now—the proverbial ball and chain. We’re pretty sure no one else would put up with our foibles and habits.

There’s no right or wrong way to live your life. Married, single, divorced, kids, no kids, it’s just how life unfolds. Elizabeth Taylor was married seven times. You could look at her life and say that’s seven divorces, or you could look at it and say she lived a life full of romance and was blessed to have seven loves of her life. That’s pretty great.

My life sentence is to share a cell with a big bagpiper with a big heart. He’s been a wonderful partner in crime in this crazy institution called life and I love him to bits.

This week’s #HappyAct is to thank or do something special for your partner in life or crime who supports you. Just don’t bake a cake for them with a knife in it.

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When it rains, it pours

 

lake and rainI’m sitting in my sunroom looking out at the rain gently fall on the lake. It’s been a tough week on all fronts–work, home life, worrying about the health of loved ones and challenges at every turn.

One of those weeks where you wonder what more can life throw at you.

It can seem almost overwhelming at times. What do you do to get through when life pours down on you?

During the last three days in Toronto, when I spent more than 12 hours in traffic shuttling back and forth between work and Joseph Brant Hospital, I tried to snatch a few precious moments where I could to forget life’s worries.

A short walk in the rain. Treating myself to a frothy overpriced McDonald’s latte.

I came home, hugged my children, slipped into my hot tub, then curled up with my daughters to watch a movie. My worries were still there, but I was home, and with the people I loved, and all of a sudden my problems didn’t seem as insurmountable.

This week’s #HappyAct is to find a few moments of happiness when life pours down on you. Here’s to a better week.

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The Great Canadian Debate

poutineElection season is in full swing. There isn’t a day goes by where you don’t see Justin, Stephen, Thomas or Elizabeth promising some tax cut or infusion into the local economy at their latest whistle stop on the campaign trail.

There are some very real, important issues this election—the looming recession, economic growth, health care, separatism, the environment.

Today I want to address one of the greatest debates this country has ever seen: who has the best poutine.

I discovered the answer to this question of national importance a few weeks ago when our friend Tony brought us the brisket poutine from The Big Smoke food truck on Highway 38 in Harrowsmith.

It was poutine heaven. Huge white curds melting on crispy, perfectly-cooked fries with smoke-infused beef gravy dripping with flavour. The piece de resistance was huge chunks of tender Texan-style brisket that melted in your mouth. I inhaled it in minutes.

This week’s #HappyAct is to take part in this national pastime and vote for your favourite poutine. Visit my new friends at The Big Smoke and tell me what you think. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed–and that’s one campaign promise you can count on.

Here’s just something for fun. Find out your taste in men, based on how you like your poutine, from Buzzfeed. I got the lumbersexual bad boy— “a badass dude who has a majestic beard and makes homemade french fries using a manual potato slicer”. See what your taste cooks up!

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Chase the checkered flag

Girl in go-kart
This pic of Clare says it all

With summer approaching the finish line, we shift gears from lazing on the dock to back to school planning and preparation. But before we cross that finish, we try to squeeze in as many fun activities as possible during those last few laps.

Last weekend we doubled the fun and took our pit crew of eight birthday party goers go-karting.

I’m not a speed demon on the highway. I’m a very responsible driver, but on a go-kart track, all that changes. As soon as they start your engines, I apply full throttle to the gas and speed out of the gate, rallying driving through the course and trying not to brake on the curves.

Mom and girl in a go-kart
Go-kart selfie

It was especially fun watching the kids tear up the track. You can see it on their face. The feeling of power and control of operating their own motorized vehicle, and sheer joy and exhilaration of racing at high speeds and beating the adults. The grins were a mile wide.

I had a flash back while we waiting to go on the track of one girls weekend where we had booked to go tree top trekking at the new rope course and zipline at Santa’s Village in Gravenhurst. The only other time I had been ziplining was in Costa Rica in the mountains and rainforest, so I was pretty disappointed when we arrived and the entire course was in a compound that was barely a few hundred feet wide. It was their opening weekend and they overbooked, so we spent most of our time waiting on the ground or on the tree platforms. I was bored out of my skull in about 10 minutes.

As I’m standing up on the platform in the trees, I can hear the roar of go-karts to the right of me. All I could think of was getting behind the wheel and ripping up the course. I’m ashamed to admit I bailed on my girlfriends and spent the rest of the day on the go-kart track instead of testing my mettle tree trekking.

This week’s #HappyAct is to start your engines and cross the checkered line at your local go-karting track. Plan a few fun things to do this last week of summer. Have fun everyone.

Girl in go-kart
Grace in car 71
Go-karts
A beautiful night for a race
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Go to the drive-in

Girls at the drive-inThere aren’t many things today that take you back to your youth and simpler times. The drive-in is one of them.

When Dave and I were dating, he drove a 1969 Wildcat convertible. We’d pile six of us in the Wildcat, and with elbow room to spare, watch the latest big screen double feature at the drive-in on Ford Drive in Oakville.

There aren’t many drive-ins left today. I read somewhere that more than 4,000 drive-ins have gone dark in North America in the last 40 years, a victim to urbanization and development. If you have one left in your community, consider yourself lucky.

Selfie at the drive-inIn Kingston, our drive-in is Kingston Family Fun World and it’s everything a drive-in should be and more. Last night we took Clare and six of her friends there for her birthday. It was a perfect night. The kids raced around as the sun set, a half crescent moon rose in the sky and there was just enough chill in the air to make curling up in a blanket under a lawn chair inviting.

A perfect night…except for the eight kids in the back of the car.

This week’s #HappyAct is to go to the drive-in. Order a big bucket of popcorn and a monster drink that will make you have to go the washroom twenty minutes into the first feature. Just don’t forget your flashlight so you can find your way to the concession stand in the dark.

Drive-in

 

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What would you do: take the commons test

what would you doA psychology professor from the University of Maryland recently posed an offer to his class to earn extra credits for their term paper. The offer was they could choose to add two points or six points to their individual grade, but with one important catch. If more than 10% of the class selected six points, no one would get any extra marks.

This challenge went viral when one of his students shared it on Twitter. I read about it in this Toronto Star article.

More than 10% chose the six points, so none of the class got extra grades. In the 7-8 years he’s been doing this test, only one class achieved a 2 point increase for everyone. He said many professors in his field have been using this test for years with similar results.

What’s interesting about this challenge is it forces students to consider whether they should only focus on advancing their own interests, or think globally for the greater good.

I’ve always been a firm believer that as human beings we are inherently selfish. We are wired to think about ourselves first and act in a manner that forwards our own interests. The best we can do is to try to make choices that benefit us while benefitting others at the same time.

The professor uses this test to teach his students more than social psychology, but as a reality check for today’s generation. With real and very scary problems like global warming, limited food supply and other issues facing us on a global scale, the lesson here is obvious. We need to start thinking and acting globally, even if it means sacrificing individual gains in order to survive and thrive as a society.

Some of the insights in the article were fascinating. One study looked at the success hotels had in encouraging guests to reuse towels. Researchers found that it was more effective if the message appealed to social norms. The message “Join your fellow guests in helping save the environment” resulted in more guests reusing their towels than a direct plea to save the environment.

This week’s #HappyAct is to pass the commons test the next time you are challenged to choose between your own interests and the greater good. This is an election year in Canada. Let’s give the commons test new meaning as we prepare to elect representatives to our own House of Commons. Let’s demand our leaders do away with partisan politics and address and take action on the important issues that affect all Canadians and our planet.

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A twist on 13 things you must give up to be happy

Inspirational sayingA local Ottawa radio station recently shared a list put out by Pop Sugar, “13 Things You Must Give Up to Be Happy”. Here was their list:

  1. Bad spending habits! Stop accumulating debt. Make a budget and stick to it!
  2. Waiting for the perfect moment. There’s never the perfect time. Live in the moment.
  3. Give up your social media obsession.
  4. Give up living in the past.
  5. Give up yearning to fit in.
  6. Give up your disorganized lifestyle.
  7. Give up overanalyzing situations.
  8. Give up your need to have the best things.
  9. Give up toxic relationships.
  10. Give up your hesitation to indulge. Have fun every now and then.
  11. Give up comparing yourself to others.
  12. Give up your packed schedule.
  13. Give up relying on others to make you feel happy and fulfilled.

Personally, I think they have it backwards. You shouldn’t have to give up things to be happy. It’s like dieting. If you focus on what you can’t eat, odds are you’ll end up falling off the wagon and being extra miserable since you haven’t been able to eat what you like and you’ve failed in your goal to lose weight.

Here’s how I would reframe their list.

13 things to embrace to be happy

  1. Buy what you want as long as it’s within your budget—there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself from time to time.
  2. Make the perfect moment, it’s so easy to do (a hug, stopping to enjoy a beautiful view).
  3. Use social media to share, learn, grow and connect but set limits for yourself so you enjoy the non-wired world too
  4. Learn from your past and focus on the future.
  5. Always be you and be happy with who you are, whether you fit in or not.
  6. Try simple things to help you stay organized so you can focus on what’s important and buy you precious time.
  7. Understand that you will never know why people act or say what they do, and know it may have nothing to do with you.
  8. Have one or two nice things you cherish.
  9. Look for the good in relationships and if there isn’t any, move on.
  10. Indulge yourself and always have fun.
  11. Understand your own strengths and the strengths of those around you.
  12. Build in free time every day.
  13. Rely on yourself for your own happiness.

This week’s #HappyAct is to practice the art of reframing the negative to the positive. The next time you see or hear something negative, try stating it in another way that’s positive. Special thanks to my guest bloggers the last two weeks, Tim and Ray–fine job guys!

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Sing like no one is listening

Tim singing
Tim rocking out at our company’s Summer Celebration

Special guest blog by Tim Aylesworth

Laurie asked me to be a guest blogger a few months ago to cover while she is away on vacation and I eagerly said yes because:

  1. I am a ‘Happy Act’ follower and have been since she started her blog.
  2. She is my boss. (Ok, I would have done it anyway even if she wasn’t my boss).

Then I completely forgot about it until in late June when I was vacationing in North Carolina visiting my brother-in-law and family and I received a message from Laurie asking if I was still interested in writing a post. I’m no dummy so I said ‘of course’!

I had no idea what to write about. As a musician, playing music makes me happy but that was just a little too obvious and not everyone is cut out to play an instrument.

While in North Carolina, we decided to try Karaoke and it hit me. Everyone can sing and singing makes you happy! I had my topic. Maybe you only sing loudly and badly, but you can sing. And the perfect opportunity to be loud and bad is Karaoke! You might not want to inflict your singing voice on the unsuspecting public but you can Karaoke in the comfort of your home. Just fire up YouTube and there are tons of Karaoke versions of songs just waiting to be massacred.

And talk about laughs! We each took turns picking the next song. The teenage girls picked Bruno Mars ‘Uptown Funk’ which is a really fun song – I really got into it. The same teenage girls were then horrified watching their parents sing Meat Loaf’s ‘Paradise by the Dashboard Light’ (all eight and a half minutes of it). We split the boys and girls up for ‘Summer Lovin’ from ‘Grease’ and we were surprisingly good.

My brother-in-law Dan picked ‘I’m Too Sexy’ by one-hit wonder Right Said Fred (he seemed to know all the words without looking). The teenage girls eyes were rolling again when Uncle Tim started ‘shaking his little tush on the catwalk’. There is video evidence of this that I hope never sees the light of day.

I’m usually a pretty good singer but I got really bad in hurry and I loved it. It was liberating just to belt it out with worrying about being in tune or even getting the words right.

So my #HappyAct advice to you is the next time you are at a party and or a family gathering and things are a little dull, go to YouTube and make your guests sing Karaoke for their supper. They might protest at first but soon everyone’s sides will be hurting from laughing so hard.

A word of warning. You might want to confiscate everyone’s phone first or you might become an unwilling YouTube star yourself.

Tim Aylesworth is a communicator and singer/songwriter/multi-instrumentalist who just released his fourth CD “Sending Out Waves”. Tim records his music in Rushin’ Draggin’ studio, his small but mighty home studio. 

Ed. note: We are all HUGE fans of Tim’s music at work. He is such a talented musician. Be sure to check out his songs and support him!

Website: timaylesworth.ca
Listen to Tim’s music: CDBaby
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Tim singing
Tim volunteers his time to sing at many charity functions, like this event for United Way