My 11-year old is one of the funniest, coolest people I know. She’s more comfortable in her own skin than most 40-year olds.
Here’s a compilation of conversations with Clare over the past week.
This kid Austin in her class tells her he’s planning a big summer blowout. It’s in 2019. Austin brought in a list for all his classmates to bring to the party. The list went something like this: bow and arrow, swan and pink flamingo floaties, Sunny D, chicken nuggets, and beer. Did I mention they are 11? Now that’s a party.
We’re driving in the car one morning, and there’s a news story about a NHL player who’s back playing after being injured. Now when injured players return, the NHL allows them to wear “red shirts” which means no contact.
I say to Clare, “Wow, isn’t that fantastic—I think that’s new, I don’t remember the NHL doing that before.”
Clare says, “What’s new for you Mom is 10 years old. What’s new for me is a few months old.”
Then a jingle comes on the radio for an adult fun store in Kingston. She starts singing along, then stops and says, “It’s really sad I’m singing to this right now.”
I ask her what time we need to be at her volleyball tournament. I say, “Okay, let’s leave at 7:45.”
She says, “No, let’s make it a quarter to eight.”
Clare asks if we can watch a movie. I say, “Can I choose the movie for a change?” Clare says, “As long as it’s not a chick flick or some old person’s movie.” Her favourite movie right now is Deadpool.
Her favourite line is “That’s why Regina rhymes with fun.”
She recites the full lyrics to Salt n Pepa’s Shoop at least three times a day.
“Bright as the sun, I wanna have some fun
Come and give me some of that yum-yum
Chocolate chip, honey dip, can I get a scoop?
Baby, take a ride in my coupe, you make me wanna
Shoop shoop ba-doop (Baby, hey)”
Then she lays a Yo Mamma’s joke on me.
“Yo Mama’s sooooo fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it’s still printing.”
I’m trying to convince her we should visit the Diefenbunker museum when we’re in Ottawa.
She says, “Mom, I don’t learn about history. I make history.”
It’s 9 o’clock and we’re playing HQ Trivia. Clare is sitting beside me. I bug everyone in the house to join in so we have a shot at winning. Third question, and I know the answer, but Clare is yelling in my ear the wrong answer and I tell her to be quiet.
She leaves in a huff and says, “You know Mom, sometimes with you, it’s damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”
She knows me so well.
At least it’s nice having a kid in the house that will actually talk to me.
This week’s #HappyAct is to have a conversation with a cool 11-year old. Mine’s free if you want a kid for a week.