Author: Laurie Swinton

Blogger, writer, interested in communications, social media, lakeside living
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The science of happiness: Part I

science-of-happiness-625x352When I first started this blog, I purposely avoided reading books on happiness because I wanted to find my own inspiration and voice. Since then, I’ve naturally started reading more about the science of happiness. As I’ve said on my profile page, I’ve always been fascinated with understanding why some people are blessed with approaching life naturally seeing the “glass half full” while others see the “glass half empty”.

There is a Brazilian folk tale that tells the story of the foolish son of a king who is sent on a journey, and after encountering a series of adventures where he acquires knowledge, finds happiness because “Knowledge is the key to happiness”.

If knowledge is the key to happiness, it seems fitting we increase our happiness IQ by learning more about the science of happiness. Here’s today’s installment.

There is a famous study of twins done by researchers at the University of Edinburgh and published in Psychological Science. It studied 973 pairs of adult twins and found that identical twin pairs responded much more similarly than other twins when asked how happy they were based on traits like “being sociable, active, stable, hardworking and conscientious”. The study concluded that genes account for about 50% of the variation in people’s levels of happiness.

What can we learn from this? The glass half empty people might throw up their hands and say happiness is genetic or pre-ordained so it doesn’t matter what I do or how I act. Glass half full people might say we have 50% control over our happiness and the actions we take to create happiness in our lives.

Probably the best advice comes from one of the co-authors of the study, Timothy Bates. To feel happier, he recommends mimicking the personality traits of those who are: “be social, even if it’s only with a few people; set achievable goals and work toward them; and concentrate on putting setbacks and worries in perspective. “

This week’s #HappyAct is to actively seek to understand your natural pre-disposition towards happiness. And the next time you have a really bad day, take a long drink of water from that glass, whether it’s half full or half empty and know that this too shall pass.

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Feel the sand in your toes

man and children playing on beach at sunset
Dave and the girls on beautiful deserted Kure Beach, North Carolina at sunset

Beach season is here. Time to make a beeline out of the city and get bare foot in the sand.

There’s something about a mile-long strip of beach that is irresistible. The sound of the surf thundering onto shore, watching and waiting for the whitecaps to crest the waves, beach combing for the perfect shell, and that wonderful feeling of warm sand between your toes as you walk for miles.

On our final night in Kure Beach, North Carolina in April, the girls and I went for one last walk on the beach. I watched them race along the deserted beach as the moon shimmered on the waves and knew, in that moment, I was completely happy.

This week’s #HappyAct is to feel the sand in your toes and find a stretch of sand to explore. Here is a list of some of our favourite beaches closer to home and further afar and pictures from some of our favourite family beach vacations.

girls standing in water
Grace and Clare at Bruce Peninsula Provincial Park on the famous “moon rock” beach
Girl on beach
Grace at MacGregor Point Provincial Park

 

 

 

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Don’t quit your day job

questions to ask if you should quit your job
Source: Hammslice, 2015

Have you ever been to one of those motivational talks where the speaker tells you that you need to find your passion and follow your heart, even if it means quitting your day job?

Personally I find these talks a bit irresponsible. For most of us, the reality is we can’t quit our day jobs. Last time I looked most of us have a mortgage to pay, kids to feed and clothe, and in our case two big dogs that eat us out of house and home. If you quit your day job, you will probably feel an initial euphoria and freedom, but then reality will sink in and you may be anxious, uncertain, and unhappy, especially if things don’t go as planned.

The other issue I have with these motivational talks is they imply that happiness and a sense of worth are only tied to work, and if you’re not doing work your passionate about, you can’t be happy. I’d challenge that.

The reality is our relationship with work is not that black and white—it’s a big ol’ corporate world of fifty shades of grey out there. We can like our work, the people we work with, and the work we do, but we may not be passionate about it. And yet, we can still be happy.

One caveat this week: If you are really unhappy at work, to the point where it’s affecting your health or other important aspects of your life, finding a new job may be the way to go. But for the rest of us, finding happiness in what we do and what we can control is a more realistic option.

This week’s #HappyAct is to make one conscious change at your work, or in your regular routine that will help you be happier in what you are doing now. Sign up for training, offer to take a lead on project, or start a new project at home. I’d love to hear your thoughts on work and happiness–leave a comment.

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Rock out to your ultimate driving tune

When the weather gets warm, I like to cruise the country roads with the windows down and crank up the tunes.

I’m not sure what’s more intoxicating—the smell of the lilacs starting to bloom (our area is full of lilacs since farmers around here plant them as windbreaks), wondering what adventure lurks around the next curve, or the feeling of not having a care in the world as you sing at the top of your lungs to your favourite song.

Remember that scene in the movie Wayne’s World where Wayne and Garth rock out in their Gremlin to Bohemian Rhapsody? Party on, excellent. My friend Terry used to swear in our university days he could drive anywhere in Waterloo in the time it took to rock out to David Wilcox’s Hypnotizin’ Boogie.

This week’s #HappyAct is to crank up the tunes rock out to your ultimate driving tune. Who cares if someone sees you—chances are you’ll make them smile and make their day. What’s your ultimate driving tune?

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Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness

Martin Luther King memorial in Washington, DC at night
Martin Luther King memorial in Washington, DC at night

Recently I was in Washington DC and spent some time at the Smithsonian in the Museum of American History, learning about Americans at war, the civil rights movement and American culture.

Last year, we spent the day at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, touring the battlefields and learning about how the Battle of Gettysburg was a turning point in the Civil War. If you go, make sure you pay the extra admission to see the Cyclorama, an amazing 360 degree oil painting of the battle that comes to life with music and digital effects.

75% of Canadians live within 100 miles of the US border. We share the largest undefended border in the world, yet every time I travel to the States I’m struck as much by the differences between our two great nations, as by the similarities that make us neighbours and friends.

One of the things I admire most about our neighbours to the south is their staunch belief in democracy, equality and life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and their undying faith that theirs is one of the greatest nations in the world. As Canadians we are far more self-deprecating.

Pierre Elliott Trudeau once said about living next to our neighbours to the south, ““Living next to you is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, if I can call it that, one is affected by every twitch and grunt.”

I think the United States is one of the most beautiful countries in the world. This week, I thought I would share some of my favourite places in the U.S. We are always looking for suggestions for our next trip, so please share your favourites in the comments.

  • Most majestic city: Washington, DC
  • Best outlet shopping: Frankenmuth, Michigan
  • Favourite city: San Francisco, California
  • Best theatre: New York, New York
  • Best music city: Nashville, Tennessee (with New Orleans a close second)
  • Most beautiful mountain range: The Grand Tetons in Wyoming
  • Most spiritual area: Sedona, Arizona
  • Most precarious drive: Mount Washington, New Hampshire
  • Wackiest tourist attraction: The corn palace in Mitchell, South Dakota
  • Prettiest town: Woodstock, Vermont

This week’s #HappyAct is to visit our neighbours to the south and go on your own pursuit of happiness in the good ol’ US of A. If you live in the States, pick a region you haven’t explored yet, and spend time in your own backyard. Be sure to leave a comment about where I should explore next.

honky tonk sign

Main street Broadway in music city, Nashville, TN

Woman in front of New York skyline
Enjoying the New York city skyline at sunset at the top of the Rockefeller Centre
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Soak out the stress

woman in hot tubA couple of weeks ago, I had a really bad week. I mean really bad. One of those weeks where you wonder why you’re slogging away at what you do and where Friday can’t come soon enough. On those weeks, I turn to the love of my life for comfort, solace and rejuvenation: I turn to my hot tub.

I love my hot tub. Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m the happy act blogger. I write about what’s really important, like the people in your life, precious moments, having purpose and being confident in who you are.

I know I’m not supposed to love material things. I believe there is an exception to every rule, and my exception is my hot tub.

I love that moment when I slip into my hot tub, and the steamy water sends tingling sensations through my spine. I sink deeper and deeper into the hot bubbling water until I can feel the jets pounding on my back, working their magic as they massage my tired limbs. I close my eyes, and become lulled by the tones of the water: the high-pitched hissing of the bubbles on the surface, the alto sounds of the gurgling jets and the rumbling of the water pounding below the surface.

Yes, just when I think I can’t love my hot tub any more, we take our relationship to a whole new level.

This week’s #HappyAct is to soak out the stress and get yourself in some hot water. If you don’t have a hot tub, try a long hot bath, or why not treat yourself to a day spa, like the Nordic Spa outside of Ottawa? I’ve heard people say it’s wonderful.

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Curb appeal

couch for sale
Free to a good home

At this time of year, many municipalities hold large garbage days. This is where you put your big stuff on the curb and then the whole town cruises the streets, scanning the curbside for treasures. In today’s age of marketing, they now call them “free giveaway day”.

My favourite large garbage day story happened in Oakville about 20 years ago. Dave and I were either dating or just married, and we had an old beat up Ford Ranger truck and an empty apartment to furnish.

Nobody does large garbage day like Oakville. As my brother’s buddy Jim Reid says, the official uniform of the Oakville housewife is a Lululemon track suit, so you can count on their castoffs being sweet.

We’re cruising around in our truck and we pull up to a house with a perfectly fine hockey net at the end of the driveway. Just as we pull up, a BMW parks behind us and out comes a young family dressed to the nines who look like they have just come from church or a family brunch.

A young boy raced to the hockey net and started pleading with this father to have it. His Dad was explaining to the boy that there was no way he could fit it in his car when Dave and I stepped in and offered to drive the hockey net in our truck to their home.

We followed them home to one of the ritziest neighbourhoods in Oakville. Seriously. These were million dollar homes. We dropped the net off, the family thanked us and we went on our merry way to find our next score.

The morale of this story? It doesn’t matter how rich you are, how much stuff you have, there is always something you want and when you can score it for free, it’s a happy day.

This week’s #HappyAct is to find out when large garbage day is in your community and cruise the streets for free stuff. You never know what you will find or who you will meet. Here’s our contribution—not curbside, but in our barn for anyone who wants it. Our old couch—perfect for a cottage or hunting camp, and free to a good home. Here’s the ad on Kijiji if you’re interested. If we like you, we may even deliver it for ya!

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Let your freak flag fly

Every once in awhile, you read an article and you think, I love this person. That’s how I felt when I read, “Iris Apfel Doesn’t Do Normcore” in the New York Times this week.

I’d never heard of Iris Apfel before, but I’m going to go on record to say she must be the coolest 93-year old on the planet.

Let me rewind to a side conversation that happened Friday morning. A co-worker came into my office with a new, funky shirt on. We said how much we liked it, even though she started by saying it was different, almost apologizing. I was wearing one of my favourite Aztec sweaters. Every time I wear this sweater or one of my ponchos, someone (usually Dave, since that’s what husbands are for) makes a joke about me being Pocahontas or something.

Then at lunch I read about Iris Apfel. Iris has been a mainstay of the New York fashion scene for decades and is the subject of a new documentary. Here are some “Irisicsms” from the article.

“I think, given a choice, it’s better to be unstylish but happy.” “

I love clutter. I think being totally minimal shows a lack of history and soul, and I find it sort of pitiful. I think it’s wonderful to have stuff and live with memories and things you enjoy.”

“There’s no free lunch, baby. You have to give up something to get something else, but that’s a very small price.”

This week’s #HappyAct is to read the article for inspiration, then let your freak flag fly. Be you, wear what makes you happy and be fearless.

Post script: I loved this article because it drew on so many of my blog posts over the past year. See these happy acts for bonus inspiration…

Watch Iris’ movie trailer…

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Wear the same t-shirt every day

mark_zuckerbergI read an article recently where Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg was asked why he wore the same gray t-shirt every day.

His answer might surprise you. He said, “I really want to clear my life to make it so that I have to make as few decisions as possible about anything except how to best serve this community… I feel like I’m not doing my job if I spend any of my energy on things that are silly or frivolous about my life.”

In a world where celebrity weddings cost millions, stylists reign supreme, and even the average person needs a walk-in closet for their clothes, we can all take a page from the Facebook founder’s philosophy.

This week’s #HappyAct is to do one thing to simplify your life so you can focus on what’s really important. And if you see me wearing the same pair of black pants every day next week, pretend you don’t notice.

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Create a happy play list

Last week was the #InternationalDayofHappiness. It was fun watching people share the happy on Twitter that day. Many radio stations including the CBC and one of our local stations here in Kingston got on the happy bandwagon, asking listeners what songs they listened to for a pick me up. Mashable compiled its list with the help of Ed Sheeran and John Legend.

Here are 11 songs that would be on our family’s happy play list.

  • Bang Bang by Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj and Jesse J
  • Downstream by Supertramp
  • Shake It Off by Taylor Swift
  • The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy) by Simon and Garfunkel
  • Walkin’ on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves
  • Happy by Pharrell Williams
  • Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars
  • Carry On by Fun
  • Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles
  • Wave over Wave by Great Big Sea (or any Great Big Sea song)
  • It’s Friday by Alan Doyle and Dean Brody

What song would make your play list? This week’s #HappyAct is to create your own happy play list. Feel free to use some of ours.