Celebrating life’s milestones

Author's daughter receiving her high school graduation diploma

It’s always a lovely moment when you get to celebrate a special milestone in a person’s life. Whether it’s a graduation, wedding or retirement party, it’s an honour and privilege to share their special day and celebrate their achievements and accomplishments.

This past week we attended three celebrations, the retirement party of someone I had worked with for almost three decades, Clare’s high school graduation and a pre-prom gathering with some parents to take photos of our kids before they headed out for their big night on the town.

Each celebration left me smiling and feeling joyous. My friend Edward’s retirement was a gathering of old friends and co-workers. We were all so genuinely happy for Edward and it was wonderful to see so many friendly faces I hadn’t seen in some time.

My favourite part of retirement celebrations is always watching the reactions and expressions on the faces of the children of the person retiring as they realize their parent is more than just their dorky Mom or Dad, but an accomplished professional, beloved by their co-workers.

This wasn’t the case for Edward since three of his four kids actually worked at our company for a period of time, but it was still nice to see them all there honouring their Dad.

The next celebration was Thursday afternoon, when hundreds of proud parents gathered in our local high school auditorium to watch our kids receive their high school diplomas.

It was the 150th graduation ceremony of Sydenham High School, and while we knew parents and students had stood before us for the past 149 years, we still felt like our kids were the most special of all, having survived COVID, octomesters (ours was one of the few high schools during COVID where the students took one course, 6 hours a day), and more.

The third milestone was watching this same group of kids get ready for prom. The girls were stunning in their long dresses and up-dos, and the boys donned their best black suits. We all snapped photo after photo as they posed with their friends and boyfriends, without a care in the world, for one day at least, before heading out for the formal dinner and dance. If your heart could pound out of your chest with pride, it did yesterday for us parents.

This week’s #HappyAct is to cherish and celebrate the milestones in your life. There are a few more milestones ahead for our household this summer. Soon we’ll be empty nesters as Clare goes off to university this fall, and I’m retiring fully in August to join Dave.

Clare and her friends toasting on the dock
Clare and her friends dressed up before prom on the dock
Clare and her boyfriend dressed up for prom

Racing on dirt as it should be

Schoolbuses racing at Brighton Speedway

For Father’s Day, we took Dave to Brighton Speedway to watch the school bus races.

The Brighton Speedway opened in 1967 and is still one of a handful of dirt track speedways in Canada, along with Brockville Speedway. Different classes of vehicles race on different nights. Last night it was four classes of modified Canadians race cars and of course, the big ticket, schoolbus races. It was a sold out crowd.

I’ve never been to a car race before so didn’t know what to expect. What we experienced was a night of mayhem, smash ‘em up excitement and “pay for your seat, only use the edge” thrills.

The first few races were six to eight small classes of modified Canadians. The cars lined up two by two, the starter waved the green flag and they were off. We estimated they were doing speeds of 80 miles an hour on the straights.

It was wild when they approached the corners. Unlike Nascar or Formula One races on pavement, on dirt tracks, drivers drift on the curves, so the car goes sideways, sometimes only on three wheels. It was crazy to watch.

During the qualifying rounds, one driver took the second turn too fast and did a double rollover right off the track.

For the modified Canadians feature race, 25 race cars lined up for a take-no prisoners finale. It was mayhem with the only breaks in the action happening when they the yellow caution flag was waved due to a disabled car on the track. One car caught fire, others spewed blue smoke from overtaxed engines and two cars became stuck after they rammed into each other. When they cut them loose, the crowd cheered.

Boys and girls waved checkered flags that lit up with lights, and Sasquatch the Jack Links jerky mascot, wandered through the crowd taking selfies with the fans.

Sasquatch, the Jack Links mascot

After each final, they’d interview the driver. I liked that they always thanked the sponsors, since it’s an expensive sport and without the support of local businesses, most of these drivers wouldn’t be able to field a car. One guy in his remarks said, “Special thanks to my Mom for coming good for the new motor.”

The schoolbus races were insane. The buses were barely running old heaps of metal, some stripped bare of their seats, others with parts hanging off. Four or five conked out, narrowing the field to 16 for the ultimate finale.

There were times they took the corners three across with barely a foot between them. Our favourite was Bernie 66 who was fearless trying to pass, but who lost the race to a guy from Winnipeg who booked a week’s vacation just to fly to Brighton for the race.

Racing fans and drivers are diehard. Now I know why.

This week’s #HappyAct is to find a speedway near you and enjoy a night of mayhem. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!

If you want to see the school bus races, mark your calendars for Saturday October 5 for their special Eve of Destruction event.

Schoolbuses lining up to race
Tow trucks separating two race cars stuck together
Dave at the racetrack
Schoolbuses racing at Brighton Speedway

Make a wish

Shooting star

I saw two shooting stars from my hot tub the other night. They blazed across the sky above the treetops and disappeared in the dark sky, leaving faint wispy trails in their wake.

Since I was a little girl, I’ve wished upon a shooting star. It’s such a special gift to be granted one wish and moment of truth and clarity, deciding how to use it. For years, I would reserve my wish for Dave or the girls, or a sick family member or friend.

Lately I’ve been selfish and using that one precious wish for myself. I can’t tell you what it is, or it won’t come true. But here’s wishing…

This week’s #HappyAct is to make a wish. You never know, it just might come true. Happy apoco-eclipse day tomorrow!

The comfort of routine

Author reading the Toronto Star

I have a confession to make: I’m a creature of habit.

On the weekends, my morning ritual is to sleep in, wake up, grab a coffee and read the morning papers or flyers (yes, I am a dinosaur). Since I’m not a morning person, it takes me at least an hour or two to get moving. Once up, I’m good with starting my day, whether that’s running off to hockey, walking the dog, meeting a friend for coffee or working around the house.

I come by this trait honestly—I inherited it from my father who was the very epitome of routine. Dave used to say you could set your watch by Dad and know the exact hour and minute when he would walk the dog, read the papers and have his first rye of the day.

I used to feel like I had to apologize for my habitual tendencies until I read an article from Northwestern Medicine linking the positive mental and physical health benefits of having routines. The article stated having a routine can help with stress, sleeping better, eating healthier and being active. Routines can help us achieve balance in our lives and make time to do the things we love and that keep us healthy.

Of course, my routines are the butt of my family’s jokes, but even that has become weirdly predictable and reassuring.  

I couldn’t care less about the science and what my family says. For me, there is just something so comforting and relaxing about the routines I love. They are a safe haven in a crazy world. Even writing this blog on Sunday mornings has become a welcome routine.

This week’s #HappyAct is stick to your guns and the routines you love. Gotta go. My second coffee of the morning awaits.

Happier Together

child smiling in Kinshasa

This Wednesday, March 20 is the International Day of Happiness. The day was declared by the UN in 2012 to recognize that happiness is a fundamental human right and to encourage nations and individuals to spread happiness and make happiness a priority.

The theme the UN has chosen this year is #HappierTogether. Here is a picture from their photo album of people from all over the world smiling, happier together.

It’s such a poignant theme. As individuals and societies, we’ve withdrawn from human connection, partly out of necessity from COVID-19, but also self-imposed.

Technology has only exacerbated this trend. We delude ourselves into thinking we’re more connected now by cell phones and technology, but these devices have somehow divided us, becoming platforms for discordant voices and viewpoints or have become something we hide behind instead of doing the real work of connecting with people in person.

Even our work lives have become more isolating with millions of workers now not even leaving their homes to experience human connection.

There are certain groups that are at higher risk of being unhappy in isolation, seniors and youth being two critical demographics.

After COVID, I blogged about “languishing” and wondering why I wasn’t chomping at the bit to get out and reconnect with people again. I concluded that it wasn’t because I had social anxiety and didn’t miss people, I just didn’t have the energy to re-enter the world.

It’s time. Time for us to reach out, be kind to each other, and understand that without human connection, most of us will never truly be happy.

It’s time to find the energy and make a conscious effort to be happier together.

This week’s #HappyAct is to do something to be happier together. Volunteer in your community, invite a neighbour over for a drink, check in on a senior. Post a picture of you smiling this week with people who make you happy and who you enjoy spending time with.

Happy International Day of Happiness!

My family smiling and acting goofy

The greatest gift of all

Fishing trophy

Like many fathers, my Dad wasn’t exactly into Christmas. After my Mom passed away, he’d decorate the house by putting one teensy weensy bow above the fireplace, declare to anyone in the room who was listening “Festive, ain’t it?”, then promptly fix himself a rye and ginger.

Every year when we asked Dad, “What do you want for Christmas?”, his response was always the same: “just the love of you kids around me” (and a six-pack of beer).

Fast forward twenty years, and Dad’s words were echoing in my head throughout the day yesterday. We hosted our annual gathering of the neighbours. There was lots of smiles, laughs, and good cheer even though there was less to be cheerful about this year, singing, sharing of food and drink and enough presents to fill up Grinch’s sleigh.

Our neighbours Kim and Bruno gave us one of the best Christmas presents ever: a custom fish trophy made with Bruno’s 3-D printer, four identical lures, one for Dave, Clare, Grace and me and a year-long fishing tournament challenge: to see who could catch the most fish with the tried and true Berkley Flicker Shad 7. What a wonderful gift: a year of fun on the water and friendly jibes to see who is the best fisherperson in our family.

Not to be outdone, my neighbour Charlene gave us a wonderful gift basket but in it was my second favourite present ever: a mug that says “Most people never get to meet their favourite player—I’m raising mine”. Charlene always picks out the perfect mug or cup for us every year.

Our cottage neighbours brought some beautiful gifts as well, but their best gift was when their son Daniel sat down on the piano and played Chopin and Christmas tunes as the kids sang along.

As I sip my coffee this morning in my new mug, and dream about the first warm days when the ice is out and I can make my first cast in the soft light of the morning, I think my Dad was right. The greatest gift of all is having the love and laughter of the people you care about around you.

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

coffee mug with saying on it
some of my wonderful neighbours
some of my wonderful neighbours
young man playing the piano and young boy singing

Happy Gotcha Day

Golden retriever with a top hat

Three years ago today, this big beautiful boy wagged his way into our hearts and lives. He arrived a week before Christmas fresh off a plane from Egypt.

Every dog has their own unique personality and spirit, but Bentley is special. He instinctively knows which one of us needs him most. This past week, when Dave was as sick as a dog with the flu, Bentley barely left his side and when Grace comes home tomorrow, I’m sure he will be snuggling up to welcome her home and make up for lost time.

He’s stupid, loveable, stubborn, lazy, ball crazy and we love him to bits.  

Happy Gotcha Day Bentley.

golden retriever
Dog and toilet paper

The time he was drinking the toilet water and caught the toilet paper roll.

Golden retriever
Grace and her dog

Grace and her best buddy

Add a little glitter and glam to your life

Boy in Maple Leafs Jersey with girl in Stanley Cup dress on his shoulder

I’ve been sporting a new look this past week. Dave and Clare too. We’ve been going to work and school all glammed up with tiny pieces of dainty silver glitter on our faces and outfits.

No, it’s not a new fashionable holiday trend or a case of a family craft night gone bad. Let me explain.

It started a few weeks ago at Halloween. Grace and her boyfriend Devon dressed up as the Impossible Dream, the Maple Leafs hoisting the Stanley Cup. Devon was wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs Jersey and Grace was wearing a cute silver party dress she bought off a cheap online retailer. Here is a picture of them with the Toronto skyline in the background.

A few days later, Grace came home for a dentist appointment, and like a typical teenager, dumped all her laundry on the floor. After she left, I put on my hazmat suit and swept her room for suspicious substances, dirty clothes and garbage, then loaded the laundry machine with some towels and her clothes, including the glittery silver Stanley Cup dress.

You can guess the rest. When I went to fold our laundry, all the towels and clothes were covered in little grey sparkles and we’ve all been very glittery ever since.

We’d been styled by a cheap party dress and a dryer.

The reactions at work were priceless. People looked at me with a slightly bewildered look and asked if I had done something to my make-up. My friend Peggy said I looked like an angel. It resulted in a few laughs to brighten up the early dreary days of November.

The holiday season is soon upon us. This week’s #HappyAct is to add some glitter and glam to your life.

The funny thing about marriage

Two toilet paper rolls with faces and the words recycle me on them

I walked into the bathroom the other day and found two toilet paper rolls sitting on the counter with cartoonish frowny faces and the words “Recycle me” drawn on them. The one toilet paper character looked like it was giving me the finger.

I did the only logical thing, which was to take another toilet paper roll, cut it in half and make two little toilet paper roll children with the words “Mama” and “Dada” on them.

These are the types of love notes you send after 31 years of marriage.

Next weekend, Dave and I will celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary. In a funny twist of fate, we’ll be spending it up north at the same cottage we spent our honeymoon before going to Algonquin Park to see Grace.

I wish I had some brilliant insights about marriage but I don’t. After 31 years of marriage, I truly believe it’s a crap shoot whether people stay together or split up. We’ve just been lucky at crap.

The one thing I will say and they don’t tell you in marriage courses is marriage changes over time.

You start out madly in love and lust, then become each other’s best friends as you begin to build a life together. Children rock your world and your relationship takes second string as you focus on raising your kids.

You learn to live with each other’s foibles and idiosyncracies and intimately know each other’s aches and pains, regrets and dreams.

But if you’re lucky, you still wake up every morning not being able to imagine going through life without that person by your side, sharing a laugh or two, and planning your next adventure together.

Just make sure you recycle the toilet paper rolls and put the seat down before heading out.

Dave and me in South Carolina this year

Living the dream

Dr. Seuss sign on life and regrets

I have a couple of friends that when you ask them how’s it going, they always say sarcastically “Oh you know, just living the dream”.

Just once, wouldn’t it be nice if when we said, “Just living the dream” we meant it?

If we had time to pursue our passions instead of spending all of our time at work?

If we lived within our means without financial worry?

If we lived a life of purpose and service with all their intrinsic rewards?

If we lived life with zest instead of just existing?

If we were thankful every day for every blessing, big or small?

Sounds like a nice dream to me.