“One day you’re waiting for the sky to fall The next you’re dazzled by the beauty of it all”
I was listening to a cool chill mix on Spotify the other day, and they played Bruce Cockburn’s Lovers in a Dangerous Time. This line seemed to personify how we’re all feeling right now, waiting for the sky to fall like Chicken Little*.
We all have different coping mechanisms. I’m ashamed to admit mine is to retreat into my writing and to my little lake where I can watch the mist rise on the shoreline, listen to the birdsong, and wait for the spring crocuses to appear. Escapism at its finest.
In my heart, I know this is no solution. I wish I was a better person. I wish I was like Carol, the wife of a fellow proctor at Queen’s University who officially retired years ago but keeps working at an outreach program operating out of one of the churches in Kingston, helping people on the street get warm food and shelter. Her response to the unfathomable problem of homelessness and drug use is to volunteer and make a difference.
Or like the millions of Americans in all 50 US states who took to the streets in the No Kings protests yesterday to raise their voices against Trump and his administration’s policies.
That’s not me. I choose to cope by living my small life, making a difference where I can.
Perhaps the ever wise and socially and environmentally conscious Cockburn has provided us with the answer. When the world seems out of control, look for the dazzling beauty in it all.
A magnificent sunrise or sunset. A child’s smile or laughter. The first snow drops or bluebells peeping through the frozen ground. Signs of hope and renewal.
Now it’s your turn to share. What do you do to cope when the world seems to be falling apart and you’re waiting for the sky to fall? Leave a comment below.
*a European folk tale about a chicken who believes the world is ending
In North America and Western Europe, young people are much less happy than they were a year ago.
That’s the startling first sentence in this year’s World Happiness Report, issued on March 20, World Happiness Day.
This year’s report sheds a light on the alarming use of social media, especially among young people and its negative impact on happiness.
Canada fell to 25th place in in this year’s report, continuing a decade long decline. Finland ranked #1 again for the ninth year in a row. The US ranked 23rd and Britain 29th. For the second year in a row, no English speaking countries appear in the top ten.
Social media use was cited as a troubling factor especially for teenage girls in English speaking countries and teenagers.
Some disturbing findings from this year’s report.
In general, most Western industrial countries are now less happy than they were between 2005 and 2010. Fifteen of them have had significant drops, compared to four with significant increases.
In a ranking of happiness changes for under-25s, the United States, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand (the NANZ region) rank between 122 and 133 in the list of 136 countries.
In a sample of US college students, the majority wish social media platforms didn’t exist. They use them because others are using them, but they would prefer it if no one did.
In regards to social media, “there is now overwhelming evidence of severe and widespread direct harms (such as sextortion and cyberbullying), and compelling evidence of troubling indirect harms (such as depression and anxiety).”
The report found that the nature of internet use and which age group and gender use it has a direct correlation to happiness and wellbeing. It is strongly negative for Gen Z, moderately negative for Millennials, near zero for Gen X, and slightly positive for Baby Boomers.
One of the studies the report cited was of 15-year olds in 45 countries, where they found life satisfaction is highest at low rates of social media use and lower at higher rates of use.
Platforms designed to facilitate social connections show a clear positive association with happiness, whereas those driven by algorithmically curated content tend to demonstrate a negative association at high rates of use.
Communications, news, learning, and content creation are associated with higher life satisfaction. Social media, gaming, and browsing for fun are associated with lower life evaluations.
Last year, Australia banned social media for youth under the age of 16. Other countries say they are considering following their lead.
There was some good news in this year’s report.
Looking at changes in happiness from 2006–2010 compared to 2023–2025, nearly twice as many countries have had significant gains (79) than significant losses (41), the biggest winners being in Central and Eastern Europe and the biggest losers being in or near zones of conflict.
In eight of the ten global regions covering roughly 90% of the world’s population, those in the youngest age group have higher life evaluations now than in 2006–2010, either in absolute terms or relative to those over 25.
Positive emotions continue to be twice as frequent as negative emotions.
Outside the English-speaking world and Western Europe, the links between social media use and wellbeing are more positive, and depend greatly on the platforms used. Data from Latin America for example show that platforms with algorithmic feeds and featuring influencers are more likely to be negatively linked to life satisfaction than platforms that mainly facilitate communication.
Congratulations to Costa Rica, who jumped to fourth place (the report’s editors surmised this could be due to the quality of their social lives). Here is the list of top 10 happiest countries in the world.
Finland
Iceland
Denmark
Costa Rica
Sweden
Norway
Netherlands
Israel
Luxembourg
Switzerland
This week’s #HappyAct is to take a page from this year’s study and spend less time on social media. Delete an app or two. Stay happy.
Social prescribing is a relatively new philosophy and practice in health care. It involves health practitioners writing prescriptions for their patients to participate in social or physical activities, just like a prescription for traditional medicine.
Instead of asking, “what’s the matter with you?”, health care professionals ask, “what matters to you?” to prescribe activities that help patients build strong community connections improving their overall health.
The United Kingdom has been at the leading edge of social prescribing. In 2023, doctors in the UK wrote more than one million social prescriptions for patients to participate in social, cultural and nature activities. These patients saw their doctors 40% less than the regular population saving the health care system $2,400 per person.
Social prescribing is starting to take off in Canada too. A University of Toronto researcher started the Canadian Institute for Social Prescribing (CISP) in 2022 in response to the after effects of COVID-19. A national organization anchored by the Canadian Red Cross, it connects people and practices, shares knowledge and gathers data to influence policies to strengthen health and community care. There’s even a Social Prescribing Day in Canada (March 19) and week, filled with lectures and events.
I have to confess when I first read about social prescribing, I was a bit put out. Have we really come to a point where we need to rely on health care professionals to tell us to get out of the house and get active or be social? There is enough strain on the health care system already. I’m pretty sure my doctor has better things to do than discuss whether signing up for a watercolours class, drum circle or swimming lessons would improve my mental or physical health.
Some of these programs however can be expensive, even cost prohibitive for individuals. One solution is for insurance companies to offer a certain amount of coverage each year ($200-$400) as part of their benefits program for employees to participate in these types of programs, similar to the amounts allocated for physio, massage and chiropractic services.
Another solution is for employers as part of their health and wellness offerings to subsidize these programs. It’s not as crazy as you think. Good employers now offer a wide array of perks or provide financial support for programs and services that contribute to their employees’ wellbeing, such as gym memberships, fitness equipment, and educational courses.
As someone who writes, I was interested to find out that one of the organizations CISP has partnered with is the Writers Collective of Canada, which runs between 20-30 free workshops a week in major cities across Canada.
I can attest to the great value, friendship and social connection I’ve discovered through the writer’s and badminton groups I belong to through the Kingston Seniors Association.
And it’s not just seniors who can benefit from social prescribing. According to CISP, social prescribing can result in 3,900 fewer cases of adolescent depression and 3,500 years of additional schooling completed by Canadian youth aged 15-17 experiencing signs of depression.
This week’s #HappyAct is to sign up for a new activity and write your own prescription for happiness–give your doctor the day off.
It’s an anxious world we live in. According to Anxiety Canada, 1 in 4 Canadians suffer from anxiety.
It’s normal to feel anxious sometimes. Anxiety can plague even the most positive of people. But for some, especially people who struggle with positive mental health or depression, it can become a death spiral.
What triggers anxiety can differ from person to person. Maybe it’s a job change, or the feeling of being stuck in your job. It could be worrying about money, or feeling unhappy in a relationship. I think most people are experiencing some degree of anxiety seeing what’s happening in the world today.
Recently, someone shared with me this simple five-step technique to clear your mind and be in the moment when you are feeling anxious. Focus on
5 things you can see
4 things you can hear
3 colours
2 things you can smell
1 positive feeling
Finish by taking three deep breaths.
I’ve always found this graphic of two circles helpful as well. There are many variations of this graphic–this one is geared towards teenagers, but I’ve seen the same concept in corporate circles when trying to help employees through change. The first circle is everything happening in the world that you have no control over. The second circle is things you have direct control over. When your brain is feeling overwhelmed, remember the two circles and focus on the things in your life you can control.
This week’s #HappyAct is to try this simple technique the next time you’re feeling anxious.
Ed. note: This five-step technique is often referred to as a grounding technique focusing on the five senses. I prefer this variation. Studies show that anxiety plagues women more than men. If your anxiety is getting in the way of living, talk to your doctor.
It’s a New Year and as always, I wish you my loyal readers, much joy, success and most of all happiness in 2026.
One thing I’ve learned after blogging about happiness for more than a decade is we don’t always know what we want or need to do to be happier. We get caught up in the daily hamster wheel of cooking, cleaning, going to work, taking our kids to activities or rushing out to our own commitments leaving us feeling drained, exhausted and defeated. Or worse, we suffer from a general malaise, where it’s hard to see the happy in our lives.
So in the spirit of the eternal optimism a new year brings, here is a simple little exercise to help you discover what actions to take this year to be happier. I call it the Happiness Sweetspot Table.
On a blank sheet of paper or in a spreadsheet, make a table with six columns across the top. In the first three columns, write
Things that make me happy
Importance (on a scale from 1-5, 5 being most important to you)
Frequency (on a scale from 1-5, 5 being you do them frequently and 1 being you do them rarely)
In the next three columns, do the same for Things that make me unhappy
Start filling out the Things that make me happy and Things that make me unhappy columns. Examples could include playing a favourite sport, spending time with friends, spending time in nature, playing guitar, etc. Try to be specific as possible. Examples of things that make you unhappy could include commuting, eating alone, cleaning the house, a volunteer commitment, etc.
Next, rank how important and how frequently you do each activity on a scale from 1-5.
Multiply the importance and frequency columns to get a total score for each activity.
Add one final column at the end called “Things I’ve Always Wanted to Do/Try but never made time for”.
Analyze your list. Your table should look something like this.
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
What items received the highest score on the unhappy list and how can you reduce or eliminate them? For instance, if you hate cleaning the house, can you lighten up on the cleaning or afford a housekeeper once a month?
What items on your happy list did you rank highest for importance but lowest for frequency. How can you make time for these going forward?
What surprised you?
What items did you add to the things you’ve always wanted to do but never made time for? What’s stopping you?
Try to be introspective and as brutally honest with yourself. While we all enjoy watching Netflix, ask yourself does it truly make you happy, or is it just a default for something to do on a cold winter night? If it doesn’t make you happy or unhappy, leave it off the list. The goal is to identify the things in your life that give you the most joy and fulfillment and the things that are acting as a drag on your happiness.
Of course, it isn’t an exact science. If you ranked “playing golf” as a 5 for importance, but 1 for frequency because it’s January, for an overall score of 5, that may not reflect how much golf makes you happy. Feel free to adjust the numbers, but also maybe think outside the box. Play some indoor golf this month, or book a golf trip if you can afford it.
Finally, identify two to three specific actions you can take this year to do more of what makes you happy, and less of what makes you unhappy. For instance, if you discovered that eating alone makes you unhappy and you eat alone seven nights a week, see if any of your friends are interested in starting a rotating potluck supper night one night a week, or suggest meeting a friend in the park for lunch once the weather gets nice.
This week’s #HappyAct is to discover your happiness sweetspots. May 2026 be your happiest year yet.
Retirement has been a difficult transition for me. I’m coming up on two years now and I still haven’t adjusted as well as some people do. I was sitting this afternoon, watching the rain pelt against the window obscuring a grey fall transition to winter, when it hit me.
Nobody needs me anymore.
I was always in middle management in my career. Always giving vague direction and punishing people for not reading my mind as the old Dilbert cartoon used to read. My specialty was putting out fires. People came to me looking for answers and I tried my best to write a plan on a cocktail napkin and hope it worked well enough to fool my superiors.
My days were an endless mix of planning, timesheets, scheduling, maintenance and finding the best ways to get the most out of each and every person who worked for me. I loved being needed at work even if I didn’t always love the work itself. Fast forward two years later and the only decisions I have to make are which trail to walk the dog on and what we are having for supper. Work doesn’t need me anymore.
My kids certainly don’t need me either. Both are out living their lives, one almost finished university (so proud) and looking at where she will end up next, the other knee-deep studying whatever biochemistry is. Except for rare conversations about new musical groups (Red Clay Strays and Tyler Childers) and the odd supper, they are completely and utterly embracing their own lives. No more rides to a remote hockey rink on a snowy winter road, no more conversations asking for advice on relationships. They don’t need me anymore.
Honestly the only person who even tolerates me is my life partner. Truthfully, I think if she had to pick between me and the dog, we all know who would win. Bookending Monday badminton and Tuesday line dancing is Friday writing groups and Saturday stock sport tournaments. She has embraced retirement with gusto and I am glad for this. She doesn’t need me anymore.
All the influencers talking about retirement being the golden age should have their heads examined. For some, retirement is a time to worry, to wander aimlessly trying to find direction and meaning in their lives, all the while wondering if their investments will support them until they leave this earthly abode.
I know that some of you are saying to yourself, what does he have to whine about? Lives on a lake, semi-good looking, gorgeous wife, yada, yada, yada but for some, myself included, the emptiness from not being needed outweighs all aspects in life.
Tread well into retirement my friends, sometimes it’s not all as advertised.
And if you see a white Dodge Cummins diesel with a 30-foot trailer rolling down the 401 at a buck twenty, festooned with Kingston BMW logos on it, know that someone is still depending on me to deliver a car that is worth more than my last annual salary. I guess someone still needs me……….
Dave asked me a funny question the other day. He asked what my followers are called.
Gaga has her little monsters. Taylor Swift has her Swifties.
Now I realize my little blog isn’t exactly on the same scale as these music legends, but it got me to thinking my followers deserve a moniker too, so I’ve decided to call you, my loyal readers, The Happy Actors.
There is something to be said for faking it til you make it, or in this case, pretending to be happy to achieve happiness.
In fact, in response to last week’s blog on what people’s personal mantras were, a friend of mine who was away replied hers was “Fake it til you make it”. She said, “You probably know more than you give yourself credit for. At work, in other situations, smile and give it your best shot and you’ll probably do just fine!”
I believe the same applies to happiness to an extent. If you pretend you’re happy, you are far more likely to achieve happiness.
Here’s my theory. When we pretend we’re happy, our mood is lighter and our brain is tricked into seeing things in a more positive light. We are apt to be open to new things, and take in the beauty and goodness around us. Through this mindset and our actions, we become happier.
American philosopher and psychologist William James first propounded this theory in the late 1800s, believing that our behaviours create our emotions. Known as the theory of pragmatism, it touts that the practical consequences of ideas and actions evolve through our experiences and interactions with the world. Truths are not fixed, and through our actions, we can find meaning and happiness if we choose.
This week’s #HappyAct is to conduct a little experiment: on a day when you might be feeling a bit down, pretend for the whole day you’re happy, then report back on whether you actually felt happier or had a happy day.
A career spanning decades Accumulated stress from years of working Secrets from your past
A relationship that drains you instead of filling your cup Regrets, many or few Self-doubt
Lying awake in bed worrying about your children when they’re out late at night instead of home safe in their beds Missing your children when they’ve left the nest to conquer the world on their own
So many feelings (the hard ones the hardest to let go) Pent-up guilt or resentment Inhibitions holding you back
Caring too much what people think of you Not caring enough to take action when action is warranted. Being envious of riches others have
If you want to get a feel for a place, spend an afternoon in a city park.
A city park is a refuge, a place to exercise, play, eat, rest, and reflect. It’s a place where neighbours, friends, strangers, and lovers meet. It’s a special place that is often the life and heartbeat of the city and the community.
When I travel, one of the first things I like to do is take a stroll in a city park. Whether it’s Regent Park in London, Central Park in New York, or Stanley Park in Vancouver, I love exploring the meandering paths and watching the people and activity going on.
Gage Park in Hamilton has been my strolling ground lately since we are housesitting for Dave’s sister. Here’s what I’ve observed during my morning walks.
Conversations.
An older couple sit on a bench talking to a homeless man. He shares his experience of living in shelters across the country, from Charlottetown to Saint John to Hamilton. He spends part of every day at the Salvation Army. His voice breaks when he tells a story about being chased by street gangs downtown.
Two young mothers pushing strollers walk briskly, sharing confidences. “I’m always thinking, what can I do tomorrow to keep him entertained so I don’t lose my mind. Where’s me? I feel like I’ve lost me becoming a Mom.” The lament of every young mother. I say to them in my head, “Don’t worry, you’ll find yourself again.”
A man wearing a Toronto Blue Jays hat. He doesn’t think their chances are good this year. We chat about the weather and he asks Siri for the forecast, which is very detailed, chance of showers later in the day with a heat wave blazing toward us by the weekend. He used to work on a chicken farm on Starr’s Island in Port Perry and loves dogs. He takes the bus to the park.
Sights, sounds, and smells.
The fragrant scent of lilacs and peonies and roses and the surprising smell of vinegar in the rose garden.
Birdsong. Robins chirping in the trees. A cardinal singing, brightly welcoming the morning.
Black squirrels with brown tails and grey squirrels with black tails chasing each other around the craggy bark of a Kentucky coffee tree.
Bike bells chiming as a man on a bicycle passes a bunch of kids on scooters.
All ages from all walks of life.
A man in an electric wheelchair whirring around the park blasting out Steely Dan on loud speakers; it’s a Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress on his second tour.
City workers hunched low, pruning and weeding in the rose garden, talking about their plans for the weekend.
A young couple lying on a blanket, their heads resting on their elbows, almost touching, deep in conversation.
Toddlers in blue and pink onesies with hats with brims so wide you can’t tell if they stumble because of their pudgy little legs, or because they can’t see two feet in from of them.
A dog walker with six dogs, four types of doodles (always the doodles), a husky and some kind of German shepherd cross. How do the leashes never get tangled?
A parade of mostly mothers and strollers marching through the park and gathering in a circle under a big oak tree for a yoga class.
An older gentleman dressed nattily in a blue checked short-sleeved shirt, grey dress shorts and socks, black running shoes and a bowler hat, jogging slowly through the park. How does he manage to look so dapper jogging?
Teenagers splashing each other with water from the fountain, screaming and swearing, oblivious to the disapproving looks of the older woman sitting nearby.
That irritating older woman, always on her phone, looking down instead of up.*
This week’s #HappyAct is to take a stroll in your city park and discover the heart of your city.
*Ed. note: To truly experience the sights, sounds, and smells of your stroll, it’s recommended to stay off your phone. I did use my phone to take photos and notes since I have a poor memory. And for those of you with a historical interest: Many of Canada’s grandest city parks were built in the golden age of park development from 1874-1914. Mont Royal Park in Montreal was built in 1874, Stanley Park in 1888, Assiniboine Park in Winnipeg in 1909, and Gage Park in 1922. As cities developed, there was a recognition that people needed access to nature for their physical and mental health. The City Beautiful Movement rose which promoted beautiful public spaces, including buildings, streetscapes and parks.
Happy Act 