The party you won’t see on the ballot we should all be voting for

elections canada vote sign

Tomorrow, Canadians will go to the polls in what could be one of the most historically significant elections of our generation.

Trump aside, I’ve been thinking of the key issues most Canadians are concerned about in 2025: the cost of living, affordable housing, mental health and health care, climate change, and the economy. I’ve been very fortunate to consider these issues from a new lens, thanks to a group of young PhD international students I’ve been working with as a proctor this past month at Queen’s University.

Two of the graduate students I worked with were from Ethiopia, one doing his PhD in rehabilitation research and the other in nursing. Another was from Syria, doing his PhD in nuclear engineering. They had all done their undergraduate and Masters degrees in different countries around the world and were extremely kind, bright, perceptive, and willing to share their thoughts and experiences of their time in Canada.

They all agreed Canada is a very beautiful, safe country and they particularly loved Kingston. They appreciated the hard work ethic of Canadians and the fact that we are a law abiding country. They did not like our winters!

Some of the things that surprised them is how expensive it is to live here, especially housing. (The one fellow told me he paid $900 a month for a two bedroom apartment in Germany where he did his Masters degree in a city the same size as Kingston. His rent here is $1,700. According to Studying in Germany.org, housing prices are 47% lower than in the US). They’ve also been surprised to see the number of homeless people and people with mental health and drug problems in Canada.

This led to a discussion on the shrinking middle class, a phenomenon that seems to be happening in all countries (my new friends said it was the case in Ethiopia and Egypt too).

However, the biggest culture shock and negative they’ve encountered is the individualistic aspect of Canadian society. We talked at length about child care, since my one new friend just had a baby and the other had two children and a wife here in Canada. They said at home in Ethiopia, child care is not an issue. If you need to work or go somewhere, there is someone—a relative, neighbour, or friend who will look after the children.

That led to discussions about seniors. Older people in their country are cared for and live with their extended families, unlike here in Canada where many seniors live alone or in nursing homes, and suffer from loneliness (see my blog post from a few weeks ago, “Battling the epidemic of loneliness”).

As we were discussing all of these issues, it occurred to me that if we simply went back to having multi-generational families living together, it would solve many of the problems in our society. There would be more available and affordable housing, and the cost of living would be offset by potentially multiple incomes in one household. People would be financially better off and happier, alleviating the strain on health care systems and improving people’s mental health.

If you study the famous “blue zones” in the world where people live longer, multigenerational living is part of their cultural fabric.

Where and when did we go wrong in North America?

In 2015, one of the best selling business books was a book called Weology: When Everybody Wins When We Becomes Before Me, by Peter Aceto, CEO of Tangerine bank. It was a book on the philosophy of leadership in business, but the concept of Weology is one I think we need to start embracing as a society to address these critical issues. Clearly what we’ve been doing up until now isn’t working.

A new party, let’s call it the Weology Party, committed to implementing policy that fosters a philosophy of taking greater care of each other and multi-generational living might just be the solution. From a tax perspective, this could take the form of tax deductions or income splitting for multi-generational households, not just spouses. There are currently tax breaks for people who have eligible dependents over the age of 18 and a tax credit if you are a caregiver for a spouse or senior, but we could do more. To foster this philosophy in our communities, the government could also offer tax breaks and incentives for volunteering.

Municipalities have started to make strides to make it easier for people to live together, allowing and promoting additional dwelling units on lots.

In business, the government could introduce policy to make it attractive for new start-ups to form as employee-owned cooperatives. There is a large corporation in Spain called Mondragon Cooperation that has 70,000 employees, annual sales of 11 billion euros and is highly profitable. They are committed to putting people before profits (for instance during COVID, instead of laying off employees, they reduced salaries across the board by 5%). The ratio of pay between employees and executives is just 6:1 (in Canada, the ratio is 210:1 for our highest paid CEOs and in the States, it’s even higher). This model is one way to distribute wealth more equitably in society, within the framework of a free market economy.

My new proctor friend who was a research fellow in rehabilitation was working with a professor who was researching the impact and effectiveness of formal versus informal supports for people with disabilities. Their theory is that informal supports are far more important in helping people with disabilities live full and rewarding lives. They are still in the research and data collection phase, but my guess is the data will show that informal supports, people supporting people, will be more important.

Which brings us back to election day. Make sure you vote. You won’t see the Weology party on the ballot this election, but perhaps some day we will. In the meantime, we need to all start thinking about what small changes we can make in our lives to move Canada towards a healthier (both financially and physically), happier, and connected society.

Battling the epidemic of loneliness

man wearing pink flamingo glasses

There is an epidemic sweeping our country—the epidemic of loneliness.

In our grandparents’ day, the average detached home in Canada had six people in it. For my generation, it was four people. Today it’s 2.1. One of the fastest growing sub-segments in the housing industry today is single homeowners in their 20s. For the first time in modern history, we also have an entire generation of seniors living alone in isolation.

The two age brackets most at risk of being lonely are youth and seniors. According to Statistics Canada’s Canadian Social Survey: Loneliness in Canada, more than 1 in 10 people aged 15 or older say they “always or often” feel lonely. A 2024 study of seniors estimated between 19-24% of Canadians over the age of 65 feel isolated from others and wished they could participate in social activities in their community.

The impacts of loneliness in seniors especially are well known. In addition to depression, emotional distress, and dementia, loneliness can result in increased risks of chronic illness and falls, poor general health and premature death.

Humans were not meant to live alone. We were meant to live in tribes.

So what can we do to battle the epidemic of loneliness? Here are some words of advice people shared in a recent Quora post:

“Have a pet and walk them every day. You’ll meet people on your walks”

“Join a club or activity…check out the nearest seniors centre for programs services” (I’ve really enjoyed the activities I participate in at the Seniors Association of Kingston and have found my tribe there)

Volunteer

“Find people you can text every day”

 “Check out the website meetup.com for a list of groups and activities that may appeal to you” (I looked to see what was listed for my area of Kingston, Ontario and there was everything from guided hikes, to toastmasters groups, to meditation and church groups)

“Nobody is going to come to you. Go out and find a church family, join a gym, go for walks, talk to your neighbours. Don’t spend your senior years being sad. Enjoy every day you have left. If you lived near me I would be your friend.”

“Every time you find yourself thinking about your own loneliness and state, think about someone in the world you can help. A neighbour who needs help, bake some cookies, whatever”

“To have a friend you need to be a friend.”

“I remember this documentary on finding happiness. The director at the beginning of the film said he would sum up the secret of happiness with one 4 letter word. I assumed it would be “love” but was surprised when he said it was risk. It’s all about taking calculated risks and steps to make opportunities happen for yourself and it will pay off. Good luck your future happiness is within you.”

This week’s #HappyAct is to do something to battle the epidemic of loneliness. Reach out to a friend, join a group, visit a senior who lives alone. It’s all about caring and sharing—more on that next week!

Coming up…March 20 is World Happiness Day. This year’s theme is Caring and Sharing. Be sure to check back next week when I dive into the results of the 2025 Report on World Happiness.

Photo: One of my favourite photos of Dave’s Dad who is living proof a youthful heart and spirit will always keep you young at heart and happy. He texts his friends and family every day.

It’s okay to be sad

happy and sad face pictures

People don’t talk about being sad anymore. They talk about being unhappy, struggling with their mental health or being depressed, but they don’t talk about being sad.

It’s like the word has been eradicated from our vocabulary.

This is a dangerous and disturbing trend because it presupposes that when we are sad, we have an illness or problem, when sadness is a natural emotion.

The other day I asked a friend how they were doing after spending the first Christmas without their Mom. My friend naturally admitted there were times she was sad, missing her mother very much.

Last week, we dropped Clare off at the airport in Ottawa. We knew it would be the last time we would see her until spring, and I was very sad for a day or two, missing her terribly as we returned to a quiet, empty house.

Author and happiness researcher Helen Russell in “How to Be Sad” says that in order to be happy, you need to allow yourself to be sad sometimes, but most people are terrified of being sad.

Exacerbating the problem is society’s newfound hyper-focus on mental health. We are so focused on mental health that there is a propensity to self-diagnose a deeper issue or problem when we may just be in fact, experiencing temporary, normal sadness.

We are often sad when we experience grief or loss, all inescapable emotions in life. If we are sad, it is because we’ve been blessed to have held something dear and joyous.

For example, as a parent, it is hard to watch your child experience heartbreak, but if they are sad from having their heart broken, it means they have lived and loved, and sadness and heartbreak are all part of the process of loving and finding the right person.

So the next time you find yourself feeling a little down, remember it’s okay to be sad.

The top 12 Happy Acts of 2024

Author at a work booth before their retirement

Another year of happy acts have come and gone. Here is my round-up of the top happy acts of 2024. Happy reading!

On climate change, work, and the world we live in

Inspiration and mental health

On parenting, retirement and my friend Harry

Find your anchors in life

Sun shimmering on a lake as seen from a deck

As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to recognize the importance of anchors in life.

An anchor can be a person, a place, a thing, or something you love to do that lifts you up and feeds your soul. It is anything that grounds you or provides comfort or solace during times of trouble.

For a child, an anchor might be a teddy bear or favourite toy. For a widower, it may be a cherished photo of their spouse sitting on their nightstand.

My anchors are living and being in nature, swimming, music, writing, and Dave.

You really know when something is an anchor in your life when it isn’t there. This past week, Dave had his second knee replaced. Thankfully, the surgery went well and he’s now home resting nicely, but he was in far more pain the day of the operation compared to his first knee replacement and they kept him in the hospital overnight.

I returned home to an empty house that night feeling a bit lost and adrift. Dave has always been a big anchor in my life, and I found myself wandering around the house, restless and anxious. I was never so happy to find him doing much better the next day and ready to come home.

Living and spending time in nature is another key anchor for me. In the summer, I know I need to spend at least an hour or two at the lake every day. If I don’t, I get surly. The trees, the sun glimmering on the water, and spending time outdoors are an essential part of my happiness.

Swimming is an extension of this. I remember a particular Saturday two years ago when Dave’s sister was dying of cancer. Dave and I were helping my brother-inlaw at the house and taking turns driving him to the hospital to see MaryAnne. I spent the morning at the hospital, then we drove back to the house, where I did some chores and took their black flat-coated retriever for a walk. We were waiting for one of their kids who had travelled a long distance to arrive before going back to the hospital, and I slipped away for an hour to go for a long swim at Westport Beach. It was what I needed to face the rest of the day which turned out to be the day MaryAnne died.

Over the years, writing has become an anchor for me. I’ve enjoyed sharing my thoughts on happiness on this blog, and now in retirement, I’m excited to tackle many new writing projects.

This week’s #HappyAct is to reflect on and be grateful for the anchors in your life. What are yours? Leave a comment.

Finding happiness in the me age

girls taking selfies at a garden

They say the road to hell is paved with the best intentions. For almost a decade now, I’ve been blogging about happiness. I started this blog as an outlet for my writing and because I was fascinated by the juxtaposition of people living in a world with so much wealth, but struggling more than ever to be happy.

I’ve learned much about what makes me happy, the science of happiness and the intrinsic benefits of having purpose, showing gratitude and helping others.

I now fear instead of helping people live a happier life, I’ve contributed to the navel-gazing narcissistic culture our society has become.

Forget the #MeToo movement. We’re living in the age of #JustMe.

I know what you’re thinking. Every generation has claimed that the next generation is more selfish and self-absorbed than they were. Perhaps, but the advent of computers, cell phones, celebrity culture and the seismic shift in how we work and play in the past fifty years has propelled us into a whole new level of egocentricity.

Honestly, if I see another selfie of a 20-something posing sideways in front of a bathroom mirror holding up their cell phone with pouty lips, accentuated hips, and frosted tips, I think I’m going to lose it.

And don’t even get me started on the hyper-focus on resilience. Try telling a farmer living a hundred years ago in rural Canada with six mouths to feed and no running water you’re taking a break to “practice self-care” or going on a “forest therapy walk”, they’d mock you until their cows came home.

A sad and disturbing product of this #JustMe movement is we all have become more polarized in our views and unaccepting of other people’s opinions. What’s more, we don’t hesitate to share our views in the most public of forums. “We” are always right and everyone else is wrong.

It’s time we went from taking selfies to choosing selflessness, from practicing self-care to caring for others.

It was Ghandi who said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

This week’s #HappyAct is to change the #JustMe narrative and find happiness by looking outward instead of in.

Wisdom and teachings from the two Janes this Earth Day

CNN photo of Jane Fonda getting arrested

Last week, I participated in a climate change focus group at work. It was an insightful discussion into our fears and hopes about the state of the climate, and actions we could take in our little corner of the world to address climate change.

As the climate change window narrows (some experts say we need to reach the stated global targets within the next six years), the natural response and mentality may be to give up hope. But we can’t.

We need to look to lifelong activists like Jane Fonda and Jane Goodall for guidance, inspiration and hope.

Fonda, who has been known for her activism since her early days as a successful actress in Hollywood said five or six years ago she was feeling very despondent about climate change and it was hard to get out of bed she was so depressed.

She started Fire Drill Fridays, a pledge to use her platform and celebrity status to get arrested every Friday at a climate change protest and even moved to Washington at the age of 81 to achieve her goal. Soon celebrities like Sally Field, Robert Kennedy Jr. and Ted Danson joined her. Fonda said an unexpected benefit of her activisim was her depression lifted, and was replaced by hope.

With half the world going to the polls in 2024 she is urging young people to “please vote and vote with climate in your heart”. 

English anthropologist Jane Goodall who spent years in the jungle studying gorillas has also shifted her focus at the age of 90 to activism, founding Roots and Shoots, a movement urging young people to create change in their communities and based on the philosophy that every individual has a role to play.

Roots and Shoots is now active in 70 countries with hundreds of thousands of young people spearheading climate-related projects to create a better world.

Jacques Cousteau once said, “We only protect what we love.” This Earth Day, commit to taking one or two actions, no matter how small to address climate change and love our earth. Happy Earth Day!

Happier Together

child smiling in Kinshasa

This Wednesday, March 20 is the International Day of Happiness. The day was declared by the UN in 2012 to recognize that happiness is a fundamental human right and to encourage nations and individuals to spread happiness and make happiness a priority.

The theme the UN has chosen this year is #HappierTogether. Here is a picture from their photo album of people from all over the world smiling, happier together.

It’s such a poignant theme. As individuals and societies, we’ve withdrawn from human connection, partly out of necessity from COVID-19, but also self-imposed.

Technology has only exacerbated this trend. We delude ourselves into thinking we’re more connected now by cell phones and technology, but these devices have somehow divided us, becoming platforms for discordant voices and viewpoints or have become something we hide behind instead of doing the real work of connecting with people in person.

Even our work lives have become more isolating with millions of workers now not even leaving their homes to experience human connection.

There are certain groups that are at higher risk of being unhappy in isolation, seniors and youth being two critical demographics.

After COVID, I blogged about “languishing” and wondering why I wasn’t chomping at the bit to get out and reconnect with people again. I concluded that it wasn’t because I had social anxiety and didn’t miss people, I just didn’t have the energy to re-enter the world.

It’s time. Time for us to reach out, be kind to each other, and understand that without human connection, most of us will never truly be happy.

It’s time to find the energy and make a conscious effort to be happier together.

This week’s #HappyAct is to do something to be happier together. Volunteer in your community, invite a neighbour over for a drink, check in on a senior. Post a picture of you smiling this week with people who make you happy and who you enjoy spending time with.

Happy International Day of Happiness!

My family smiling and acting goofy

Overcoming the anxiety that comes with age

trees at night time

I’ve been a bit more nervous walking at night lately. It’s the strangest feeling and new to me since I’ve always been very comfortable walking at night.

I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because the coyotes have been very active, with their eerie howls cutting through the stillness of winter nights from across the lake.

For whatever reason, for the first few minutes walking, I’ve felt anxious so I’ve started taking my phone with me. At least this way if I slip and fall and break my other ankle, or the coyotes attack me, they’ll be able to call Dave and let him know where to find my carcass.

As we age, it is only natural to become more tentative and anxious. A few years ago, I had lunch with an elderly friend, and they confessed that for the first time in their life, they were stricken with anxiety. They had confided to their minister, and found talking about it helped, but it was uncharted territory for them and you could tell it had thrown them for a loop.

I’ve never been a worrier—I’ve always considered it a blessing that if Dave was late when the weather was bad or my kids were out god knows where, I never worried about them. But as I age, anxiety is slowly creeping into my psyche bit by bit. I find I need to make a conscious effort to fight through it using deep breathing techniques, telling myself not to worry, and redirecting my thoughts. 

Back to my nightly walks…on the nights when I do feel a bit anxious, I power walk through it. With each step, the tiny morsels of fear in my brain recede, and I embrace and revel in the beauty of the night, the magnificent stars in the sky, and the black silhouettes of the pine trees illuminated by the soft glow of the moon.

I stop and listen for sounds of the woods. There is stillness all around me. I hear an owl swooping up into the trees. His mate hoots in the distance. I am calm and the feeling of anxiety has passed.

Now if the coyotes would just stop howling…

Me and Elmo sending hugs

Elmo from Sesame Street

A few days after Bell Let’s Talk Day, everyone’s favourite furry monster from Sesame Street, Elmo asked a simple 9-word question on Twitter (X): “Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing?”

It unleashed a tidal wave of responses, over 55,000 to be exact including celebrities like Chance the Rapper and Rainn Wilson and the usual brands trying to capitalize on what’s trending. They were raw, sad, and hurting. Here were some of the replies.

man's tweet about his wife left him
Oreo cookie tweet "ran out of milk"
Man's tweet about being depressed and broke
man's tweet asking Elmo if he has a mortgage
man's tweet saying he feels like oscar the grouch
Rainn Wilson's response to elmo of being at a crossroads
man's response to Elmo
Depressed winnie the pooh
Dominos pizza oven on fire

As I was reading the comments of people pouring their hearts and souls onto the page, I felt tears well up in my eyes. How can there be so many people feeling so sad and hopeless in the world? Even the brands didn’t try to sugar coat it with Oreo leading the pack saying we ran out of milk.

The one that resonated with me the most was the GIF of a stick character in fast motion getting out of bed, going to their computer, working all day, then going back to bed and doing it over and over again. That’s the way I felt when I was working from home during COVID.

Elmo sent this beautiful note to everyone who took the time to respond:

Elmo saying he's glad he asked and checked in on people

So to all of you reading this who may be feeling sad or disheartened right now, me and Elmo send hugs. I’m giving out free hugs all this week to anyone I see who needs one (the best Valentine’s Day present someone can give).  

Here’s to sunnier days, sweeping the clouds away where the air is sweet, friendly neighbours meet and every door opens wide to happy people like you and me.

Love Laurie and Elmo