Our bus hit a polar bear. Someone was giving the bear CPR and my head was stuck in its jaws and no one was helping me. Seriously.
Fear. Absolute fear. How did I get myself into this situation?
Well, I signed up for it, a Level One improv class at the Tett Centre in Kingston.
I was a longtime fan of Whose Line is it Anyway so when I saw the ad for improv classes pop up on my Facebook feed I thought ‘Why not’?
I sent the payment, put all the dates on my calendar, told my wife I would be busy Tuesday nights, poured myself a tall glass of red wine and thought to myself “What have I done….?’
The class will probably be filled with quick-thinking Queen’s students… and me. I’m almost 62. I forget people’s names, I can’t think of the right word now and then, I never remember where I put my wallet and keys and the list goes on.
Now I’m going to be put in odd situations with people I don’t know, with no prep time, and have to make a 3-4 minute scene flow seamlessly by blurting what comes to mind first! “Don’t think” they tell you, the gold is what comes out first. Oh, and it helps if you get a few laughs along the way. No pressure at all.
It turns out there was no pressure.
I wasn’t the oldest in the class which for some reason made me feel good.
And there was laughter. Every class. We laughed with others and we laughed at ourselves.
Reader’s Digest had a section called Laughter is the Best Medicine. Turns out it’s true. Laughter is a wonderful thing. Studies around the world have shown laughter boosts immunity, lowers stress hormones, decreases pain, relaxes your muscles, and can help prevent heart disease. Those are just the physical benefits. Mentally, laughter eases anxiety, tension and stress, and can improve your mood. It checked a lot of boxes for me.
Improv was a great way for me to challenge myself, but more importantly, a great way to laugh at myself and at others sweating it out on stage!
For two hours a week I gave no thought to divisive politics, inflation, how to survive retirement, or the long list of social issues we hear about on our daily news feeds. I just laughed. I highly recommend it.
I hope that polar bear is doing okay.
Jon Begg is a communications specialist, husband, father, grandfather, and fisherman who’s been telling jokes and laughing all his life.
It feels like it’s been raining cats and dogs and elephants this spring. The grass and yellow dandelions in the yard are a foot high, the plants from the garden centre sit shivering in our driveway, and muddy shoes lay strewn across the front porch caked with mud. Everyone I talked to is fed up with the rain.
It begs the question, how does rain affect our happiness and mood?
Rain can make some people sad or depressed. We can’t (or won’t) get outside to do the things we enjoy which puts a damper on our mood. This is true and well-documented for people who are more prone to suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) in the winter months. Lack of sunlight decreases the production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter proven to help regulate anxiety, happiness, and mood.
But you may be surprised to learn rain can have a positive impact on our mental health and happiness and there are some of us who love the rain. They even have a name: pluviophiles. For these people, rain can be rejuvenating, calming, and restorative. Let’s dive into the science.
When it rains, negative ions are released. These are odourless, invisible molecules which are created in moving water. When it rains and water hits a hard surface, the drops break up and pick up a charge. If it is a negative charge, it can generate electrons that can be picked up by molecules in the air, such as oxygen and carbon dioxide, forming negative ions. Research on the effects of negative ions indicates they boost mood, relieve stress, and give us more energy.
Then there is the impact on our olfactory senses. The earthy scent after a rain has a name too. It’s called petrichor, from the Greek words petra, meaning “stone”, and ichor, meaning “the fluid that flows in the veins of the gods”. Petrichor includes a chemical called geosmin, which is made by bacteria in soil. Inhaling it can have a calming effect.
I personally love the sound of rain. On a rainy day, I’m quite happy to sit in my screen porch and listen to the steady drumming of the raindrops on our steel roof. Relaxation and meditation videos use the sound of rain and buildings include features such as artificial fountains and indoor waterfalls for their relaxing sounds and calming effects.
There are even benefits to the grey skies that come with rainy days. With less light, the body tends to produce more melatonin, a hormone that regulates sleep, helping you rest better.
And yet we tend to be wet blankets when it comes to rain, hiding ourselves indoors until the stormy skies pass.
If you live on the West coast or in Great Britain, you make the best of the rain, dress for the weather and get on with your day.
I once spent six weeks in England and Scotland in November and December. It rained almost every day. That didn’t stop the intrepid Brits. The streets of London were bustling with shoppers, brollies in hand, and the parks were filled with young families with babies in strollers covered in plastic and little ones dressed in bright yellow and red raincoats, splashing in puddles.
Sure, there were days I was tired of the grey skies and panda-sized puddles on the slippery sidewalks, but I remember the wonderful feeling of coming in from the cold, and warming up with a hot cup of tea or enjoying a pint in a cozy pub with some friends.
This week’s #HappyAct is to become a pluviophile and get out for a walk in the rain. Time to go, I see the sun is starting to come out…
Tomorrow, Canadians will go to the polls in what could be one of the most historically significant elections of our generation.
Trump aside, I’ve been thinking of the key issues most Canadians are concerned about in 2025: the cost of living, affordable housing, mental health and health care, climate change, and the economy. I’ve been very fortunate to consider these issues from a new lens, thanks to a group of young PhD international students I’ve been working with as a proctor this past month at Queen’s University.
Two of the graduate students I worked with were from Ethiopia, one doing his PhD in rehabilitation research and the other in nursing. Another was from Syria, doing his PhD in nuclear engineering. They had all done their undergraduate and Masters degrees in different countries around the world and were extremely kind, bright, perceptive, and willing to share their thoughts and experiences of their time in Canada.
They all agreed Canada is a very beautiful, safe country and they particularly loved Kingston. They appreciated the hard work ethic of Canadians and the fact that we are a law abiding country. They did not like our winters!
Some of the things that surprised them is how expensive it is to live here, especially housing. (The one fellow told me he paid $900 a month for a two bedroom apartment in Germany where he did his Masters degree in a city the same size as Kingston. His rent here is $1,700. According to Studying in Germany.org, housing prices are 47% lower than in the US). They’ve also been surprised to see the number of homeless people and people with mental health and drug problems in Canada.
This led to a discussion on the shrinking middle class, a phenomenon that seems to be happening in all countries (my new friends said it was the case in Ethiopia and Egypt too).
However, the biggest culture shock and negative they’ve encountered is the individualistic aspect of Canadian society. We talked at length about child care, since my one new friend just had a baby and the other had two children and a wife here in Canada. They said at home in Ethiopia, child care is not an issue. If you need to work or go somewhere, there is someone—a relative, neighbour, or friend who will look after the children.
That led to discussions about seniors. Older people in their country are cared for and live with their extended families, unlike here in Canada where many seniors live alone or in nursing homes, and suffer from loneliness (see my blog post from a few weeks ago, “Battling the epidemic of loneliness”).
As we were discussing all of these issues, it occurred to me that if we simply went back to having multi-generational families living together, it would solve many of the problems in our society. There would be more available and affordable housing, and the cost of living would be offset by potentially multiple incomes in one household. People would be financially better off and happier, alleviating the strain on health care systems and improving people’s mental health.
If you study the famous “blue zones” in the world where people live longer, multigenerational living is part of their cultural fabric.
Where and when did we go wrong in North America?
In 2015, one of the best selling business books was a book called Weology: When Everybody Wins When We Becomes Before Me, by Peter Aceto, CEO of Tangerine bank. It was a book on the philosophy of leadership in business, but the concept of Weology is one I think we need to start embracing as a society to address these critical issues. Clearly what we’ve been doing up until now isn’t working.
A new party, let’s call it the Weology Party, committed to implementing policy that fosters a philosophy of taking greater care of each other and multi-generational living might just be the solution. From a tax perspective, this could take the form of tax deductions or income splitting for multi-generational households, not just spouses. There are currently tax breaks for people who have eligible dependents over the age of 18 and a tax credit if you are a caregiver for a spouse or senior, but we could do more. To foster this philosophy in our communities, the government could also offer tax breaks and incentives for volunteering.
Municipalities have started to make strides to make it easier for people to live together, allowing and promoting additional dwelling units on lots.
In business, the government could introduce policy to make it attractive for new start-ups to form as employee-owned cooperatives. There is a large corporation in Spain called Mondragon Cooperation that has 70,000 employees, annual sales of 11 billion euros and is highly profitable. They are committed to putting people before profits (for instance during COVID, instead of laying off employees, they reduced salaries across the board by 5%). The ratio of pay between employees and executives is just 6:1 (in Canada, the ratio is 210:1 for our highest paid CEOs and in the States, it’s even higher). This model is one way to distribute wealth more equitably in society, within the framework of a free market economy.
My new proctor friend who was a research fellow in rehabilitation was working with a professor who was researching the impact and effectiveness of formal versus informal supports for people with disabilities. Their theory is that informal supports are far more important in helping people with disabilities live full and rewarding lives. They are still in the research and data collection phase, but my guess is the data will show that informal supports, people supporting people, will be more important.
Which brings us back to election day. Make sure you vote. You won’t see the Weology party on the ballot this election, but perhaps some day we will. In the meantime, we need to all start thinking about what small changes we can make in our lives to move Canada towards a healthier (both financially and physically), happier, and connected society.
There is an epidemic sweeping our country—the epidemic of loneliness.
In our grandparents’ day, the average detached home in Canada had six people in it. For my generation, it was four people. Today it’s 2.1. One of the fastest growing sub-segments in the housing industry today is single homeowners in their 20s. For the first time in modern history, we also have an entire generation of seniors living alone in isolation.
The two age brackets most at risk of being lonely are youth and seniors. According to Statistics Canada’s Canadian Social Survey: Loneliness in Canada, more than 1 in 10 people aged 15 or older say they “always or often” feel lonely. A 2024 study of seniors estimated between 19-24% of Canadians over the age of 65 feel isolated from others and wished they could participate in social activities in their community.
The impacts of loneliness in seniors especially are well known. In addition to depression, emotional distress, and dementia, loneliness can result in increased risks of chronic illness and falls, poor general health and premature death.
Humans were not meant to live alone. We were meant to live in tribes.
So what can we do to battle the epidemic of loneliness? Here are some words of advice people shared in a recent Quora post:
“Have a pet and walk them every day. You’ll meet people on your walks”
“Join a club or activity…check out the nearest seniors centre for programs services” (I’ve really enjoyed the activities I participate in at the Seniors Association of Kingston and have found my tribe there)
“Volunteer”
“Find people you can text every day”
“Check out the website meetup.com for a list of groups and activities that may appeal to you” (I looked to see what was listed for my area of Kingston, Ontario and there was everything from guided hikes, to toastmasters groups, to meditation and church groups)
“Nobody is going to come to you. Go out and find a church family, join a gym, go for walks, talk to your neighbours. Don’t spend your senior years being sad. Enjoy every day you have left. If you lived near me I would be your friend.”
“Every time you find yourself thinking about your own loneliness and state, think about someone in the world you can help. A neighbour who needs help, bake some cookies, whatever”
“To have a friend you need to be a friend.”
“I remember this documentary on finding happiness. The director at the beginning of the film said he would sum up the secret of happiness with one 4 letter word. I assumed it would be “love” but was surprised when he said it was risk. It’s all about taking calculated risks and steps to make opportunities happen for yourself and it will pay off. Good luck your future happiness is within you.”
This week’s #HappyAct is to do something to battle the epidemic of loneliness. Reach out to a friend, join a group, visit a senior who lives alone. It’s all about caring and sharing—more on that next week!
Coming up…March 20 is World Happiness Day. This year’s theme is Caring and Sharing. Be sure to check back next week when I dive into the results of the 2025 Report on World Happiness.
Photo: One of my favourite photos of Dave’s Dad who is living proof a youthful heart and spirit will always keep you young at heart and happy.He texts his friends and family every day.
People don’t talk about being sad anymore. They talk about being unhappy, struggling with their mental health or being depressed, but they don’t talk about being sad.
It’s like the word has been eradicated from our vocabulary.
This is a dangerous and disturbing trend because it presupposes that when we are sad, we have an illness or problem, when sadness is a natural emotion.
The other day I asked a friend how they were doing after spending the first Christmas without their Mom. My friend naturally admitted there were times she was sad, missing her mother very much.
Last week, we dropped Clare off at the airport in Ottawa. We knew it would be the last time we would see her until spring, and I was very sad for a day or two, missing her terribly as we returned to a quiet, empty house.
Author and happiness researcher Helen Russell in “How to Be Sad” says that in order to be happy, you need to allow yourself to be sad sometimes, but most people are terrified of being sad.
Exacerbating the problem is society’s newfound hyper-focus on mental health. We are so focused on mental health that there is a propensity to self-diagnose a deeper issue or problem when we may just be in fact, experiencing temporary, normal sadness.
We are often sad when we experience grief or loss, all inescapable emotions in life. If we are sad, it is because we’ve been blessed to have held something dear and joyous.
For example, as a parent, it is hard to watch your child experience heartbreak, but if they are sad from having their heart broken, it means they have lived and loved, and sadness and heartbreak are all part of the process of loving and finding the right person.
So the next time you find yourself feeling a little down, remember it’s okay to be sad.
Me and Elmo sending hugs: like the rest of the online community, I was shocked at the heart-wrenching responses people shared when everyone’s favourite Sesame Street character Elmo asked people how they were doing last January
It’s time we went from taking selfies to choosing selflessness, from practicing self-care to caring for others. Read more in Finding happiness in the me age
On parenting, retirement and my friend Harry
I retired in 2024. I made a pledge to myself, which has turned out to be one of the smartest things I’ve done. Read My Retirement Pledge
As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to recognize the importance of anchors in life.
An anchor can be a person, a place, a thing, or something you love to do that lifts you up and feeds your soul. It is anything that grounds you or provides comfort or solace during times of trouble.
For a child, an anchor might be a teddy bear or favourite toy. For a widower, it may be a cherished photo of their spouse sitting on their nightstand.
My anchors are living and being in nature, swimming, music, writing, and Dave.
You really know when something is an anchor in your life when it isn’t there. This past week, Dave had his second knee replaced. Thankfully, the surgery went well and he’s now home resting nicely, but he was in far more pain the day of the operation compared to his first knee replacement and they kept him in the hospital overnight.
I returned home to an empty house that night feeling a bit lost and adrift. Dave has always been a big anchor in my life, and I found myself wandering around the house, restless and anxious. I was never so happy to find him doing much better the next day and ready to come home.
Living and spending time in nature is another key anchor for me. In the summer, I know I need to spend at least an hour or two at the lake every day. If I don’t, I get surly. The trees, the sun glimmering on the water, and spending time outdoors are an essential part of my happiness.
Swimming is an extension of this. I remember a particular Saturday two years ago when Dave’s sister was dying of cancer. Dave and I were helping my brother-inlaw at the house and taking turns driving him to the hospital to see MaryAnne. I spent the morning at the hospital, then we drove back to the house, where I did some chores and took their black flat-coated retriever for a walk. We were waiting for one of their kids who had travelled a long distance to arrive before going back to the hospital, and I slipped away for an hour to go for a long swim at Westport Beach. It was what I needed to face the rest of the day which turned out to be the day MaryAnne died.
Over the years, writing has become an anchor for me. I’ve enjoyed sharing my thoughts on happiness on this blog, and now in retirement, I’m excited to tackle many new writing projects.
This week’s #HappyAct is to reflect on and be grateful for the anchors in your life. What are yours? Leave a comment.
They say the road to hell is paved with the best intentions. For almost a decade now, I’ve been blogging about happiness. I started this blog as an outlet for my writing and because I was fascinated by the juxtaposition of people living in a world with so much wealth, but struggling more than ever to be happy.
I’ve learned much about what makes me happy, the science of happiness and the intrinsic benefits of having purpose, showing gratitude and helping others.
I now fear instead of helping people live a happier life, I’ve contributed to the navel-gazing narcissistic culture our society has become.
Forget the #MeToo movement. We’re living in the age of #JustMe.
I know what you’re thinking. Every generation has claimed that the next generation is more selfish and self-absorbed than they were. Perhaps, but the advent of computers, cell phones, celebrity culture and the seismic shift in how we work and play in the past fifty years has propelled us into a whole new level of egocentricity.
Honestly, if I see another selfie of a 20-something posing sideways in front of a bathroom mirror holding up their cell phone with pouty lips, accentuated hips, and frosted tips, I think I’m going to lose it.
And don’t even get me started on the hyper-focus on resilience. Try telling a farmer living a hundred years ago in rural Canada with six mouths to feed and no running water you’re taking a break to “practice self-care” or going on a “forest therapy walk”, they’d mock you until their cows came home.
A sad and disturbing product of this #JustMe movement is we all have become more polarized in our views and unaccepting of other people’s opinions. What’s more, we don’t hesitate to share our views in the most public of forums. “We” are always right and everyone else is wrong.
It’s time we went from taking selfies to choosing selflessness, from practicing self-care to caring for others.
It was Ghandi who said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
This week’s #HappyAct is to change the #JustMe narrative and find happiness by looking outward instead of in.
Last week, I participated in a climate change focus group at work. It was an insightful discussion into our fears and hopes about the state of the climate, and actions we could take in our little corner of the world to address climate change.
As the climate change window narrows (some experts say we need to reach the stated global targets within the next six years), the natural response and mentality may be to give up hope. But we can’t.
We need to look to lifelong activists like Jane Fonda and Jane Goodall for guidance, inspiration and hope.
Fonda, who has been known for her activism since her early days as a successful actress in Hollywood said five or six years ago she was feeling very despondent about climate change and it was hard to get out of bed she was so depressed.
She started Fire Drill Fridays, a pledge to use her platform and celebrity status to get arrested every Friday at a climate change protest and even moved to Washington at the age of 81 to achieve her goal. Soon celebrities like Sally Field, Robert Kennedy Jr. and Ted Danson joined her. Fonda said an unexpected benefit of her activisim was her depression lifted, and was replaced by hope.
With half the world going to the polls in 2024 she is urging young people to “please vote and vote with climate in your heart”.
English anthropologist Jane Goodall who spent years in the jungle studying gorillas has also shifted her focus at the age of 90 to activism, founding Roots and Shoots, a movement urging young people to create change in their communities and based on the philosophy that every individual has a role to play.
Roots and Shoots is now active in 70 countries with hundreds of thousands of young people spearheading climate-related projects to create a better world.
Jacques Cousteau once said, “We only protect what we love.” This Earth Day, commit to taking one or two actions, no matter how small to address climate change and love our earth. Happy Earth Day!
This Wednesday, March 20 is the International Day of Happiness. The day was declared by the UN in 2012 to recognize that happiness is a fundamental human right and to encourage nations and individuals to spread happiness and make happiness a priority.
The theme the UN has chosen this year is #HappierTogether. Here is a picture from their photo album of people from all over the world smiling, happier together.
It’s such a poignant theme. As individuals and societies, we’ve withdrawn from human connection, partly out of necessity from COVID-19, but also self-imposed.
Technology has only exacerbated this trend. We delude ourselves into thinking we’re more connected now by cell phones and technology, but these devices have somehow divided us, becoming platforms for discordant voices and viewpoints or have become something we hide behind instead of doing the real work of connecting with people in person.
Even our work lives have become more isolating with millions of workers now not even leaving their homes to experience human connection.
There are certain groups that are at higher risk of being unhappy in isolation, seniors and youth being two critical demographics.
After COVID, I blogged about “languishing” and wondering why I wasn’t chomping at the bit to get out and reconnect with people again. I concluded that it wasn’t because I had social anxiety and didn’t miss people, I just didn’t have the energy to re-enter the world.
It’s time. Time for us to reach out, be kind to each other, and understand that without human connection, most of us will never truly be happy.
It’s time to find the energy and make a conscious effort to be happier together.
This week’s #HappyAct is to do something to be happier together. Volunteer in your community, invite a neighbour over for a drink, check in on a senior. Post a picture of you smiling this week with people who make you happy and who you enjoy spending time with.
Happy Act 