Posted on in family, Food and drink, holidays, humour

Happy turkey day

Roasted turkey

Conversation with Clare over FaceTime this morning. She’s cooking a turkey for the first time for her friends in Halifax. We’re in the car driving to our local conservation area to walk off last night’s Thanksgiving dinner:

“I’m cooking a turkey for our Friendsgiving tonight. How long do I cook it for?”

Dave: “How many pounds is it?”

“18 pounds.”

 “6 hours at 350 then.”

 “6 hours? I ain’t got time for dat.”

 “I hope it’s unfrozen. Did you take it out of the freezer?”

“I don’t know, it’s been in the fridge.”

“You better check to make sure it’s unfrozen or it won’t be ready in time. What time are you having dinner?”

“6 pm” (it’s 12 noon in Halifax already). Yells to her roommates: “Make sure you turn the fire alarm off”. Then, “How do I tell if it’s unfrozen?”

“Stick your hand inside it and see if it’s hard.”

“Oh lordie, lordie that’s cold. It’s a little hard but I think it’s mainly unfrozen. What do I do next?”

“You have to look for the neck and giblets and take them out.”

“Jib what?”

“Giblets. They’ll be in a little bag.”

“Okay, I got them. What was the other thing?”

“The neck.”

“Huh?”

“It looks like 4-inch penis. You have to pull it out.”

“I don’t see anything that looks like that.”

I’m laughing so hard at this point I miss the turn to the conservation area. Dave has to stop giving turkey instructions to give me road directions.

Dave: “There might not be a neck. Not all turkeys come with the neck and it’s okay to cook it with the neck in if it is there.”

“Okay, now what do I do?”

“Just add some water to the bottom of the pan, cover it up and put it in the oven.”

At this point, she gets distracted and starts talking to Grace about her outfit. “Is that a pink Lululemon top? I love it.”

Grace: “Yeah, I’ll bring it to Halifax when I come see you on the weekend so you can steal it from me.”

She finally finishes covering up the turkey with foil and puts it in the oven. She holds up her happy face oven mitts wide with pride.

“Happy Turkey Day guys.”

To all my loyal readers, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. We were grateful for the family, friends and laughter around our table last night but missed our loved ones far away.

Posted on in health and wellness, lifestyle, science of happiness, travel

Take the Finnish Masterclass on happiness

Wilderness guide Petri Kokkonen, one of the instructors

It’s 10 degrees and raining right now in Finland, and yet those crazy Finns are all probably happily curled up inside in their cozy houses in front of a roaring fire with their thick, brightly-coloured woolen socks, sipping a cup of hot coffee or glogi.

Finland has been named the happiest country in the world for the last eight consecutive years in a row, according to the World Happiness Report.

Now you too can channel your inner finn and learn the Finnish methods of happiness by taking Finland’s free Masterclass of Happiness course online this fall.

After watching five online videos narrated by expert coaches on four central themes, you’ll be tasked with an assignment. The four central themes are connection to nature, health and balance, design and the everyday, and food and wellbeing.

After you complete each lesson, you’ll receive a certificate.

To give you a flavour of what to expect, in the first lesson, Petri Kokkonen, a wilderness guide who lives in the remote Vätsäri region, will help you experience the peace and tranquility of nature in daily life and help you become one with nature.

In the segment on design, design professional Taina Snellman-Langenskiöld talks about how much our homes and the spaces we visit affect our well-being.

Full disclosure: this course and site is run by Visit Finland, the country’s tourism operator and it will suggest how you can further your happiness journey with travel suggestions at the end. I became aware of it when they ran a contest the first year it was offered and held in person in Finland. The success of the course and contest made Visit Finland realize they were on to something, and they made it available to everyone online. Now the tagline “Visit Finland—the happiness country in the world” features predominantly in their advertising.

This week’s #HappyAct is to find your inner Finn and take the Masterclass in Happiness.

Related: Read about hygge, the ancient Danish tradition of creating a warm atmosphere to relax in with friends and family.

Posted on in arts, entertainment, Hobbies, humour, Technology and social media

Find out what you’re great at

Terrible painting of beach and palm trees

I’ve always been jealous of people who are really great at something.

I know I’ve been dealt more than a fair hand at life. I’m average-looking with average intelligence and am generally considered to be a nice person.

I was a good student but never Mensa or Harvard material. I can hold my own in most sports, but never competed provincially or at a higher competitive level. I can make a mean stew and banana bread, but would never cut it on Master Chef Canada.

I can write passably, but nowadays with ChatGPT, Bing and Gemini, any human and now machine can spew out the drivel I share each week in my little Crappy Act as Dave likes to call it.

The list of things I suck at is even longer. I can’t sew or hem, I wouldn’t know where to begin on any building or home renovation project and I’ve inherited my father’s innate inability at wrapping presents. (One of my favourite things to do on Christmas Eve was watch my father make a batch of wrapping every one of my Mom’s presents while drinking a few glasses of rye and ginger.)

It doesn’t help that the entertainment industry flaunts in our faces the many talents of celebrities who seem to be great at everything. Jim Carrey is an accomplished artist. Actresses like Anna Kendrick, Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson can act, dance and sing like songbirds plus have successful businesses on the side. Anthony Hopkins writes symphonies for gods’ sake. And those Helmsworth brothers, Chris and Liam. It’s not enough they’re gorgeous and talented actors, they can even dance.

When I retired, I hoped I would discover something I’m great at. I tried painting since my Mom was an accomplished painter.

I signed up for a 3-hour workshop where the theme was painting a beach scene, since it was the dreary winter months. Using a photo as our inspiration, my friend Angela and I spent the next three hours practising our brush strokes painting white sand beaches, blue waters and palm trees. While people ooh’ed and aah’ed over each other’s canvases, mine somehow ended up resembling L.A. after the wildfires. One guy actually said to me, “Yeah, those palm trees aren’t good.”

I tossed the finished painting on my dresser for a couple of weeks, trying to decide whether I should fix it, paint over it or just throw it out. One day I came home and it wasn’t there. Dave had hung it as a joke in the kitchen above the stove. It’s still hanging there. A true masterpiece. Judge for yourself.

Okay, so maybe painting isn’t my thing. But just maybe it’s not as important to discover what you are great at, so much as what you are most passionate about and love to do.

For now, I will keep searching for my greatness.

Posted on in global relations, mental health, Technology and social media

Hit delete

Picture of globe and words "Delete one thing from Earth that you think would make it better"

I read a post on Twitter the other day that asked if you could delete one thing from earth that would make it better, what would you delete?

As always with the internet, the answers were fascinating and insightful.

Three old men destroying the world with pictures of Putin Trump and Netanyahu
Mosquito biting a man
Evolution of man saying "Go back we fucked up everything"
Woody and Buzz from Toy Story saying "Assholes, Assholes, Everywhere"

Some people said racism, social media, war, hatred.

Still more: fossil fuels, lies, nuclear weapons, cell phones.

One person said, “The necessity of money to survive”.

I laughed at the guy who said, “Beers, I’ve been trying to delete them one at a time.”

It made me wonder, if you could delete one thing from your own life, what would it be?

Posted on in health and wellness, mental health, science of happiness

Fake it til you make it

Cartoon with four ducks and a rubber duckie saying Fake it til you make it

Dave asked me a funny question the other day. He asked what my followers are called.

Gaga has her little monsters. Taylor Swift has her Swifties.

Now I realize my little blog isn’t exactly on the same scale as these music legends, but it got me to thinking my followers deserve a moniker too, so I’ve decided to call you, my loyal readers, The Happy Actors.

There is something to be said for faking it til you make it, or in this case, pretending to be happy to achieve happiness.

In fact, in response to last week’s blog on what people’s personal mantras were, a friend of mine who was away replied hers was “Fake it til you make it”. She said, “You probably know more than you give yourself credit for. At work, in other situations, smile and give it your best shot and you’ll probably do just fine!”

I believe the same applies to happiness to an extent. If you pretend you’re happy, you are far more likely to achieve happiness.

Here’s my theory. When we pretend we’re happy, our mood is lighter and our brain is tricked into seeing things in a more positive light. We are apt to be open to new things, and take in the beauty and goodness around us. Through this mindset and our actions, we become happier.

American philosopher and psychologist William James first propounded this theory in the late 1800s, believing that our behaviours create our emotions. Known as the theory of pragmatism, it touts that the practical consequences of ideas and actions evolve through our experiences and interactions with the world. Truths are not fixed, and through our actions, we can find meaning and happiness if we choose.

This week’s #HappyAct is to conduct a little experiment: on a day when you might be feeling a bit down, pretend for the whole day you’re happy, then report back on whether you actually felt happier or had a happy day.

Until next time my Happy Actors.

Posted on in health and wellness, inspiration

What’s your personal mantra?

Sign that says Everything happens for a reason

I saw a profile on LinkedIn where someone included their personal mantra. It was, “Passionate for making every day, a good day.”

I asked several friends what their personal mantra was and why they chose it. Here were their answers.

“One day at a time. Sometimes it changes to “one hour at a time”. It helps me through tough times when you have to be strong to support those around you that are struggling. This year I have not only had to support my husband with a progressive disease, but also deal with a death in the family and two friends who are struggling with health issues that live alone and need help.

Sticking to this mantra gives me the encouragement I need, as well remembering that this is just one moment in time and if it is a tough one, maybe in a few hours or the next day it will be better. Take the moments as they come and cherish them.”

“Lead with love.”

“It’s just as easy to be nice. This was the refrain of my childhood. It was my father’s mantra. If I heard it once, I heard it a million times. It was helpful to me over the years in many situations at work. I am trying to remember this now as a menopausal woman. It’s ok to disengage–I don’t have to respond if I can’t be positive.”

“Idiopathic. This word is often used in medical circles ‘to relate to any disease or condition which arises spontaneously or for which the cause is unknown.’ But I like to take it further than that. I like to relate idiopathic to life in general. In a world of left and right, good and bad, sickness and health, sometimes we just need to be present for all of it. Life is more than the hand you are dealt (past). It’s how you deal (present).”

“Think big and you may get something, think small and you will get nothing.”

“I don’t really have a mantra, but I recently heard the following quote which I think is from Anne of Green Gables. “Tomorrow is a day with no mistakes in it..yet”. When I was going through my divorce and everything that came with it, I tried to live by ‘I forgive you, not because you deserve it, but because I deserve it.’ It was helpful to start moving forward and not continue to be angry and resentful about the situation.”

As for mine, it is “Everything happens for a reason.” This belief has helped me accept life’s twists and turns and has provided comfort when the headwinds of life have seemed to have blown me off course.

What’s your personal mantra? And many thanks to my amazing friends who provided such insightful, heartfelt, deeply personal and inspirational responses. Thank you for your willingness to share to help others.

Posted on in ageing, family, lifestyle, money, retirement, work

What I’ve learned a year into retirement

Author in Scotland

It’s been a year since I retired, and other than taking on a few gig jobs, I’ve fully embraced my new life of leisure.

I know some people struggle with the decision. I remember years ago sitting in a retirement seminar with some colleagues. One of my friends said, “I don’t think I’ll retire anytime soon—I just don’t know what I’d do with my days.” This is a common refrain and fear. The experts all say the same thing, you need to retire to something, not just from work.

I thought it might be helpful to share what I’ve learned about retirement to help anyone thinking about taking the big leap.

  • If you think you will miss work, think again. Unless you’re an artist or have a super cool job like a back-country ski instructor, pilot, or amusement park ride inspector (we have a friend who does this for a living and is constantly posting pictures of riding awesome rollercoasters), you won’t miss the work. I stopped thinking about the office about 10 seconds after leaving it. I still miss some of the people though.
  • Structure is good. Most people need some structure in their lives. Choose some regular weekly activities that get you out of the house and give you structure in your day.
  • On the flip side, don’t overbook yourself, especially in the first year. You want to have the flexibility to explore, do fun things, and try new activities.
  • Try not to worry about money. This was one of the best pledges I made to myself in retirement. Nearly every retiree, unless you’re uber rich worries about money. It just comes with the territory. Be aware of your spending, have a budget and try to stick to it, but know that there are options, like taking part-time jobs, looking at your investment income, or downsizing your home if need be.
  • Time moves on a different continuum when you’re retired. Before if you were packing for a trip, you might only have an evening free to get ready. Now you might have two or three days and it still doesn’t seem like enough. Embrace the slower pace—you’ve been rushing all your life.
  • Don’t be surprised if you don’t do some of the activities or things you thought you wanted to do. I always pictured myself golfing once a week in a ladies league, but I’ve discovered I’m not as passionate about golf as I thought I was.
  • You may get bored from time to time. What a wonderful problem. Seize the opportunity to go somewhere and see or do something new, or just veg for the day. Call or meet up with a friend or family member you haven’t seen in awhile. I know it sounds corny, but I have a jar with ideas for day trips, overnight trips and bigger trips. When we have a free day, and feel like doing something, we grab an idea from the jar and off we go. The world is your oyster.
  • Women tend to transition better to retirement than men. One of my friends attended a retirement planning session and the facilitator said to the women in the room, “Go get a coffee, this segment doesn’t apply to you, you’ll be fine, but men listen up. You will struggle more.” That has certainly been the experience for Dave and me and many of our friends. I’m not sure if it’s because a man’s identity is more closely linked to his work, or that women are more social, but men struggle more with what to do and how to fill their days. Go back to point two: have a structure.

For me, retirement has been a huge blessing. I’ve enjoyed having the freedom to do the things I’ve wanted to do, get more active, and help out in my community. The one thing that has been difficult is we transitioned to empty nesters at the same time we retired. We miss the kids terribly sometimes, but then we look out and see the sun shimmering on the lake, and hear the loons and fish calling our names, and we head out, grateful for the gift of time to enjoy each day.

Are you retired and have advice to share, or is there anything that has surprised you in retirement? Leave a comment.

Photos: Above: me in Scotland this July and below, on the Ranney Gorge Suspension Bridge in Campbellford. The suspension bridge was one of the ideas in my day trip jar, so I stopped to check it out on the way home from Peterborough one day.

Author on suspension bridge
Posted on in ageing, health and wellness, mental health, parenting

How long does it take to let go

picture of waves at a beach and the words, "One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can't change"

How long does it take to let go of…

A career spanning decades
Accumulated stress from years of working
Secrets from your past

A relationship that drains you instead of filling your cup
Regrets, many or few
Self-doubt

Lying awake in bed worrying about your children when they’re out late at night instead of home safe in their beds
Missing your children when they’ve left the nest to conquer the world on their own

So many feelings (the hard ones the hardest to let go)
Pent-up guilt or resentment
Inhibitions holding you back

Caring too much what people think of you
Not caring enough to take action when action is warranted.
Being envious of riches others have

Bitterness
Grief and loss
The past

The timeline is up to you.

Read more: Let it go

Posted on in arts, entertainment, family, Historical, holidays, travel

The ten best little museums in Canada

Man holding up a canoe at the Canadian Canoe Museum

It’s the last weeks of summer. Whether you’re planning a final road trip with the family or just looking for staycation ideas, now is a great time to visit a museum. Here is my top ten list of little museums that are perfect for a one hour or half-day stop. Be sure to check their websites for any free admission days.

  • Miner’s museum in Glace Bay, Nova Scotia: while the museum itself is small, the experience is large, making this museum one of my favourites in Canada. Join a former miner as you walk down the stopes underground and learn about coal mining in Cape Breton.
  • Canadian Canoe Museum in Peterborough: We visited this terrific little museum in 2020 before it expanded and relocated to the shores of the Trent-Severn waterway. I’m itching to go back to see what new treasures and exhibits are on display. You can even now spend a morning or afternoon paddling on site. Read my post An Afternoon at the Canadian Canoe Museum for the full rundown.
  • Les Trois Pignons rughooking museum in Cheticamp, Nova Scotia: located near the end of the Cabot Trail, this museum features astonishing works of art made from rughooking, the region’s specialty. It costs only $7 and you can tour it in about half an hour, making it well worth the stop.
  • Bata Shoe museum in Toronto: Opened in 1995 after the Bata family’s private shoe collection outgrew its home, this famous little museum has been attracting visitors for more than 30 years. Current exhibitions include the history of the cowboy boot, how crime investigators use footprints and footwear in their work, and footwear through the ages.
  • Toronto Holocaust Museum: Opened in 2023, this new museum on Bathurst St. north of Sheppard inspires visitors to think deeply about the tragedies of the Holocaust and make connections between the holocaust and contemporary world events and Canadian life. Montreal also has a holocaust museum. It’s currently under renovation and will reopen its doors in 2026.
  • The Canadian Potato Museum in Prince Edward Island: quintessentially Canadian, we loved this little museum that celebrates PEI’s biggest export (20% of the potatoes in Canada come from PEI). Learn about how spuds are grown and their importance to the development of Canada’s smallest province and enjoy a selection of potato dishes in their restaurant. Bonus points for having one of the friendliest and accommodating staff around—our family arrived in late April when the museum was still closed, but they let us in for free and let us look around “as long as we didn’t mind the mess”.  
  • Diefenbunker: located in Carp just west of Ottawa is a four-storey underground bunker built in 1959 by Prime Minister Diefenbaker to serve as the headquarters and communications hub during the Cold War.
  • Tim Horton’s Museum in Hamilton: located on the second floor of the original Tim Hortons store in Hamilton at 65 Ottawa Street, this little museum recently underwent renovations. Make sure you order a double double when you’re there.
  • Gopher Hole Museum in Torrington, Alberta: Touted as the “world famous” gopher hole museum, this museum is by donation and features vignettes of gophers and a gopher gift shop. You gotta see it to believe it.
  • Kingston Penitentiary Museum: eclipsed by the Kingston Penitentiary tours (fantastic by the way and free with the tour), don’t miss this fantastic little museum in the historic warden’s house across from the pen. Learn how famous inmate escaped and life behind bars—the perfect one-hour visit.

This week’s #HappyAct is to visit one of Canada’s great little museums. And my apologies to BC: even though I’ve been to British Columbia many times, I never visit museums because the province is so beautiful, I tend to spend all my time outdoors.

Here’s a bonus museum for when we’re all ready to travel to the States again: It’s a Wonderful Life Museum in Seneca Falls, New York. Still under renovation, plan to visit this wonderful little museum in the future. Read my Lessons on Life and Happiness from the museum.

Photos: above: Dave holding up a canoe at the Canadian Canoe Museum. Below: our guide at the Miner’s Museum in Glace Bay; Clare and I in front of the Canadian Potato Museum this spring; one of the incredible rughooking works of art of Confederation at Les Trois Pignons rughooking museum in Cheticamp, NS.

Miner tour guide at the Miner's Museum in Glace Bay
Rughooking tapestry
Posted on in relationships

Everyone needs a stupid friend

Two friends smiling taking a selfie

I needed a “stupid friend” the other day.

Let me clarify. A “stupid friend” is not someone who is stupid. A “stupid friend” is a friend who knows you and loves you well enough to tell you when you are doing something stupid.

Mine was a silly little thing. My best friend Leslie and I were buying souvenirs in Scotland. I wanted to get a tartan pencil and grabbed one at the cash to include with Leslie’s purchase. We asked how much it was as the sales clerk was ringing it in and the clerk said “Two pound 99”, which would be just shy of $6 in Canadian funds. For a pencil! I nodded my head and handed Leslie the money.

On the way out of the store, Leslie said that was stupid, you shouldn’t have bought that. She was right of course. Later that day, I saw a set of four pencils for 75 pence, about $1.50.

I wish I had been a better stupid friend the other day when a friend of mine who wasn’t feeling well decided to play golf in this sweltering heat. He had to leave the course when he started feeling dizzy and weak. If I had known what he was going to do, I would have told him he was stupid to play golf in this weather.

A stupid friend will always look out for you and want what’s best for you. They can be a voice of reason, the perfect foil, or a person who balances you out, the yin to your yang. They are the very best and truest of friends because they are always there when you need them, especially when you are your own worst enemy.

Everyone needs a stupid friend. Who’s yours?