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Live in a happy place

According to Jetpac City Guides, I live in the happiest city in Canada, Kingston, Ontario.

Child smiling in Kingston
My youngest daughter Clare is all smiles after a day in downtown Kingston

Jetpac makes travel apps, and they looked at over a million Instagram photos to count and size the smiles on people’s faces. We’re a university town so there’s a high likelihood the reason we ranked high on this very unscientific study is because we have lots of university students who use Instagram, but Kingston regularly places high in the annual studies of the best places to work and live in Canada.

It’s been almost 20 years since we moved to the Kingston area and I can honestly say it was one of the best decisions we ever made. I love going back to Toronto, I love the city, but we would never ever have been able to enjoy the quality of life we enjoy now.

And here’s the rub: this just didn’t fall into our laps. It was a conscious decision; we had a goal and a plan. We targeted five regions in Ontario. We could have wound up in Sault St. Marie, northern Ontario (the snow!), or Muskoka, but we landed in beautiful Eastern Ontario, and we have come to love and consider this community our home

So this week’s Happy Act is to ask yourself, am I happy where I live? Do I feel part of my community? Do I love my home? Hopefully your answer will be yes, but if the answer is no, what changes can you make to be happy where you live? Maybe you could get more involved in your community, or maybe it’s just a simple change to your home (when we first moved to our house, the lack of sunlight drove me crazy, but we have a beautiful sunroom now). True, happiness comes from within, but living in a happy place can only help.

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Wear fuzzy socks

Fuzzy socksWhen the cold weather hits (and let’s face it, it’s hit hard this winter), there’s nothing better than to curl up, hibernate and put on a pair of fuzzy socks.

Hands down, fuzzy socks are in my books the best textile invention of the 21st century. They just don’t keep your feet warm. They flood your feet with waves of comfy softness, making you feel warm and cozy all over.

My mother-in-law was a Victorian Order of Nurses foot nurse. She always says take care of your feet. It makes sense. The average person will walk 115,000 miles in a lifetime, four times around the earth. During an average day of walking, the force on your feet can total hundreds of tons, which is roughly the same as a fully loaded cement truck. So it only makes sense to take care of your feet and keep them happy.

If you’re going for sheer warmth, stick with wool, but if you want an itch-free, cushy ride that will make you warm and fuzzy all over, wear fuzzy socks.

So this week’s Happy Act is to take care of your feet, make them happy and wear fuzzy socks. What favourite item of clothing makes you happy?

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The only All Year’s Resolution you’ll ever need to make

2014 imageI’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. They may spur us into action, but usually after a few weeks or months they fade into oblivion and we are back into our old habits and woefully aware of our failure to keep our promises for yet another year.

So instead of making a New Year’s Resolution, why not make an All Year’s Resolution? A resolution to tell the people you love that you love them every day.

You see, my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 12 and died when I was 19.  To say it changed my adolescence is a bit of an understatement. I never went through that phase of not wanting to be with my parents and I’m dreading the day when my two girls become teenagers and they don’t want to spend time with me.

Even though my Mom had cancer, I lived a normal teenage existence, but I also spent a lot of time with my Mom, playing board games, driving her to appointments and helping to take care of her. One of the things we talked about and committed to very early on in her disease was to tell each other we loved each other every day because we were painfully aware that some day, she would be gone.

I’ve tried to practice this philosophy throughout my life. And while it was difficult when both my parents died, I can honestly say there was nothing left unsaid. I still miss them dearly still to this day, and am sad to think my children never got to meet or know these wonderful people, but I have no regrets about our time together or how we felt about each other.

Life is short. The people you love might not be there tomorrow, so don’t leave anything left unsaid. This week’s Happy Act is to make an All Year’s Resolution to tell the people in your life you love them every day. Are you making any other New Year’s Resolutions? Share them. Me? Probably the same ones I make every year: eat a bit healthier and exercise more (but this time I have a game plan—wish me luck!)

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Show your spirit

Elaine Peterson in Santa hatNext week is Christmas, a time of peace, hope and joy. I love everything about Christmas– the music, the presents, turkey and chocolates, visiting with friends and family. But the thing I love the most about this time of year is the spirit of the season.

I want to tell you about a friend of mine, Elaine Peterson. For the month of December, Elaine wears a red Santa hat around town. It becomes her winter cap. It never fails to put a smile on my face. Unlike some people who prefer to sweep their birthdays under the rug, Elaine reminds everyone at least a week ahead of time it’s her birthday.  Her birthday has become a full week of celebrations with food, lunches, parties and get togethers. Elaine loves life and isn’t afraid to show it. She exudes spirit.

When I got the idea to write this particular blog post, it was the same week Nelson Mandela died. Much has been written about Mandela. He was a great statesman and leader. But what made Nelson Mandela an incredible human being was his indomitable spirit and courage.

Our spirit is the window to our soul. It takes courage to bare our soul, and show our spirit. We can’t all be Nelson Mandelas, but we can all be Elaine Petersons.

This week’s Happy Act is to show your spirit. You don’t have to wear a Santa hat around town, but do something that shows who you are, what you stand for and what makes you special. Don’t worry about what others think. Show your spirit and celebrate you. May the spirit of the season be with you.

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Gaze at the stars

Orion picStar gazing has always been a bit of a hobby of mine. I love looking up at the stars on a crystal clear night and seeing the stars emerge and envelop the night sky.

Stars are powerful. They dare us to imagine and connect the dots, to see princesses, kings, and creatures from tales from long ago. They inspire us to dream and to make wishes.

Stars lead us on journeys and lead us back home again. Above all, stars connect us with our world, the greater universe, and our fellow man. They put our lives in perspective.  Sometimes when I walk at night and look at the stars, I think of the people in other parts of the hemisphere looking at the same constellations I’m gazing at. It makes my troubles and worries seem smaller somehow.

Next Saturday is the Winter Solstice so this week’s Happy Act is to star gaze. If you live in an urban area, this might be more of a challenge. Make an outing to a dark park on a clear night (but stay safe—don’t get mugged!), or drive out of the city, park the car and look up into the sky. Get one with the universe. If you’re lucky, you might see a falling star, and your wish might come true.

Some tips this week if you live in Eastern Ontario. Queen’s University Observatory has a free Open House the second Saturday of every month. Check it out. There’s also an area in North Frontenac that has been deemed a dark sky viewing area. Finally, we’re luck y to have one of the leading astronomers, Terence Dickinson live in our area. If you can, watch for and attend one of Terry’s talks. If you’re new to star gazing, this short video will help. See if you can find Orion, Cassiopeia, The Big Dipper, which is an asterism, a constellation within the constellation Ursa Major, the Great Bear and Ursa Minor which is home to the North Star. My favourite is Pleiades, a cluster of seven stars known as the Seven Sisters. If you’re interested, ask Santa for a good little constellation book you can take on your nightly walks.

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Get in touch with your senses

senses--beautiful winterHave you ever closed your eyes and felt the warm sun on your face? Or listened to the wind rustling in the trees? Years ago when I lived in Toronto, a friend took me to a sensory deprivation tank. That’s where you sit in a tank of salt water for 45 minutes completely in the dark and silence. The idea is to awaken every sense in your body. I remember walking out of the building onto Jarvis Street. My footsteps on the pavement pounded in my head, the lights blinded me and the noise on the street was deafening.

Our senses are five of the greatest gifts we have. And yet, every day, we go about our business, oblivious to the smells, noises, and sights that make our world so rich.

This week’s Happy Act is to get in touch with your senses. Sit and listen to the rain, or the wind whistling through the trees. Salivate over your next steak. Touch your partner.  Choose a different sense each day, (or just pick one) and for two minutes, stop what you’re doing, and focus on one of your senses. I guarantee not just your senses will be awakened, you will be too.

We live in such a beautiful part of the country, especially at this time of year. I’m continually awestruck by the beauty around me. Here is a picture just up the road from our house–a winter wonderland. What sense of yours was awakened this week? Leave a comment.

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Crush the seeds of doubt

Seeds of doubtI thought about starting this blog for about two years. Then I finally did it, and posted my first post.
At first, it was encouraging to see other bloggers follow me, and friends commenting. This was going to be fun. But as the day went on, and as nighttime creeped in, seeds of doubt started to germinate in my mind.

Was I crazy? What do I know about happiness? And who is really going to care one iota about my stupid blog?

Doubt is an interesting emotion. On the one hand, it’s good to doubt ourselves. The world would be
a pretty obnoxious, arrogant place if we didn’t. On the other hand, doubt can seep into your consciousness and eat away at your confidence, causing you to question yourself, your abilities and everything you believe in. Doubt is insidious. I actually think the word is spelled wrong. It should be a four letter word (what purpose does the “b” serve anyway)? It serves no purpose, just like the emotion itself. It’s negative, destructive, and the biggest buzzkill around.

This week’s Happy Act is to crush the seeds of doubt the next time you find yourself questioning your abilities. Make it a physical act. Write the word doubt on a piece of paper, crumple it up and throw it in the recycler. If you’re chewing gum, chew up your doubt and spit it out. Crush the seeds of doubt and revel in newfound confidence. Leave a comment: what do you doubt about yourself?

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Busta move

Girls dancing
Dancing in our pjs on a Sunday morning

I love to dance. At concerts, I find it hard to sit down. If I’m not standing, my feet are tapping and I’m groovin’ in my seat. When my kids were babies, they would be cranky in the evening, so I’d crank up the music and dance with them in my arms around the room. Now my daughter is 11 and she’s embarrassed any time I dance in public.

I love watching young children dance, because they don’t care—they have no inhibitions. They’ll gyrate and do the goofiest moves, letting their little bodies move and groove to the music. As adults, sadly, we become more self-conscious of how we look when we dance.

This week’s Happy Act is to dance. It’s the holiday party season so maybe you can cut a rug on the dance floor with your co-workers, check out a club, or busta move with your kids in your living room. It doesn’t matter, just dance.  You’ll be smiling when the music stops.

Here’s a picture of the gang staying at my house this weekend busting a move to David Wilcox in our jammies in my living room. To inspire you, check out this video of the 2012 Shag Dancing champions. But don’t try this at home kids, you might just bust a hip or a knee instead of a move.

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The Happy Act blog

Welcome to my blog. This blog is a new adventure for me. Each week, I’ll explore something that makes me happy and issue a weekly challenge we can do together—one Happy Act that will hopefully help you feel happy too.

Confession time. I’m not a psychologist. I’m not a Super Susie type, you know the kind of person that is so happy and positive all the time, it drives you crazy. I’m not even that great a writer.

So why should you embark on this journey with me? I can’t give you a good reason other than why not? If doing one happy act a week brings a bit more happiness into your life and into the world, then isn’t it worth it? Because happiness is not something we aspire to, it’s not a destination. You don’t find it. The phrase the pursuit of happiness is hogwash. Happiness is a state of being, and to be happy, you need to do little acts of happiness.

This week’s Happy Act is to call an old friend. Meet them for coffee, call them on the phone or send them a message on Facebook or LinkedIn. It will feel good to connect with them again. Here’s a picture of us catching up with some old friends who moved to Edmonton and who we hadn’t seen in seven years.

Catching up with old friends