Tag: friendship

Posted on in Uncategorized

Visit a Toronto landmark before it’s too late

Honest Ed's signTwo Toronto landmarks only blocks away from each other are closing soon: the Brunswick House and Honest Ed’s.

It’s a sad end to an era.

I have fond memories of both these Toronto institutions. I remember scouring Honest Ed’s for bargains as a cash-strapped Ryerson student. Walking into Honest Ed’s was a smorgasbord for the senses. Housewares, clothing and knick knacks were crammed into every nook and cranny of the store, forcing you to walk sideways through the aisles. It was quite the place.

And then there was the “Brunny”. The Brunny was the second home for Ryerson and University of Toronto students.

We’d stake our spot at one of the Brunny’s long tables after class in the late afternoon. At that time of day, it was just the die-hard regulars drinking and talking. But by night-time, the place became a raucous party, beer hall style. By 11 o’clock, the washrooms had an inch of beer on the floor and there was a line up out the door.

You didn’t order beer by the glass at the Brunny. You ordered beer by the tray–$27 for a tray of 30 glasses. Years later, they replaced the trays of glasses with pitchers—it was never quite the same.

Brunswick house signThe best part of the Brunny by far was the entertainment. Carla and Rockin’ Irene, two old birds in their seventies would take to the stage. Irene would belt out old bar and war songs like Roll out the Barrel, and It’s a Long Way to Tipperary while Carla banged away on the piano keys. Nate replaced Carla, and the good times rolled on.

Dave and I had our first kiss coming home on the Go-train after a night at the Brunny. I often think I have The Brunswick House to thank for my marriage.

The Brunwick House closes its doors on March 31st. It’s current owner has extended an invitation to all its patrons, past and present over its 140 year history to come for one last drink and to celebrate the Brunny’s last dance.

Honest Ed’s will close its doors on December 31, 2016.

This week’s #HappyAct is to make a final trek to one of these Toronto iconic institutions. Or leave a comment sharing your favourite memory of Honest Ed’s or The Brunswick House. If we can’t make their final call, we can at least virtually raise our glass in their honour. Cheers to them and to the wonderful memories they gave us.

Posted on in Uncategorized

Be a mentor part 2: Matt’s perspective

Matt and his wifeSpecial guest blog

(Read part 1)

It took me awhile to figure it out, but, I am a writer. The longer I worked the more I realized my passion in life was with writing and communication. Since my current job involved no writing at all I was looking for a change. I didn’t want to leave my company or all of the insurance knowledge I had gained over the years, so I looked for an inside move. My sights were set on our company’s Communications area. Without any related experience or a related degree I knew it would be tough. I needed some help. That’s when I reached out to the one person I knew in the Communications area, a person I had been looking up to for inspiration for years, and asked her if she would consider mentoring me?

I had no idea what to expect when I asked Laurie if she would be my mentor. I was hoping she would accept, meet with me a few of times, give me a couple of writing assignments, and layout a rough map of what I needed to be doing to get where I wanted to be. Well, almost two years later our monthly meetings have continued and the scope of our discussions have expanded to more than the narrow field of communications.

Is this mentor – mentee relationship what I expected?

NO!

It was much, much more.

Professionally, my mentor has given me more than I expected.

  • She has shared her vast network of contacts with me.
  • Guided me on where the company is moving and where opportunities for experience and jobs will be.
  • Brought me up to speed on what industry leaders to follow and what books to read.
  • Stressed exactly the things I needed to do in our company to succeed (and have a chance at moving into the career I dream of).

Helpful? Very!

But, it was the non-professional things that had a bigger impact on me.

  • I am more motivated now then I have ever been in my work. Not only do I have that dream of moving into a communications job, but with my mentor’s support it feels like it is a realistic goal.
  • Having someone you trust, to share personal work related problems (such as conflicts with coworkers or management) is invaluable. Especially if that person, like my mentor, has been on the other side of the fence in management roles.
  • It has made me more empathetic. My mentor has changed the way I view those above me. She has allowed me to see the more human side to those in supervisory/managerial/directorial roles.

I did not expect this mentor mentee thing to cause such a monumental change in the way I feel about work, but, it definitely has. I am a much better employee in every way because of it.

This week’s #HappyAct is the a repeat of last week’s: find someone to help you grow. And thanks, Matt, it’s been a slice!

Contributing author: Mathew is a very productive and sarcastic cubicle citizen who reads way too many Dilbert comics. He blogs about his life outside of work at theplaceunderthepine.blogspot.ca.

Posted on in Uncategorized

Make some new daytime BFFs

I have three new best friends. Their names are Kelly, Michael and Ellen.

I’ve spent every morning with my new best friends this week. That’s because I haven’t left the house. After going on about how much I love winter, I came down with pneumonia.

I’ve never had pneumonia before. I expected to be tired, but I didn’t expect to spend most of my waking hours lying down. The fatigue was unbelievable. After twenty or thirty minutes of even sitting up, I was exhausted.

As the week went on, I wondered what the heck I was going to blog about after such a dismal week. Sure, there were a few highlights. Watching the squirrels and birds at the feeders on the back deck. Sharing every couch and bed with my two big dopey dogs. Witnessing my kids’ after school routine where they burst through the door, and then proceeded to rampage through the cupboards for snacks. (One day Clare ate a chocolate pudding, a hot dog, then a bowl full of pickles in that order).

I came to the conclusion that the highlight of my week was watching morning talk shows. My new BFFs became Kelly Ripa, Michael Strahan and Ellen Degeneres.

Here are some of my observations after watching a week of morning talk.

  • Everyone dances. Whether you’re the host, a guest or in the TV audience, at some point, you’ll be expected to dance
  • 99% of the studio audience is women, which begs the question, what do men watch in the daytime? (guys feel free to leave a comment to enlighten me)
  • It’s not enough to just talk with celebrities any more—you have to get them to do some kind of stunt or play a game
  • You can win lots of free stuff
  • Every show has its own cool mug. I think I might start a new collection–a new mission in life

This week’s #HappyAct is to grab your favourite mug, curl up on the couch and watch a daytime talk show. Make some new daytime BFFs. And Kelly, Michael and Ellen—let’s do lunch—call me.

 

Posted on in Uncategorized

Whistle while you work

Panda in tree saying he hates mondaysSpecial guest blog

I was joking around with a co-worker recently, pointing out that she has spent about 65,000 hours at work. Granted, she has been working for 35 years, but, when you actually see a number like that you realize–that is a lot of time.

Even the significantly smaller number of 8 hours (your average work day) takes up a third of your day and about half of your awake time.

So, what if you are unhappy at work? According to my numbers, about half your life will be wasted.

There have been times in my career when I was unhappy at work and counting down the 47,000 or so hours I had left until retirement. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the job, or the people, or the idea of contributing to society. It was that work got in the way of ‘real’ life. It got in the way of family and friends. It was time consuming.

So I made a change. I dismantled the wall between work and ‘real’ life. I realized I was wasting so much time and negative energy on something that, maybe, wasn’t so bad. I had to be there, so why not embrace it?

I did. The change was more than I expected. According to the numbers I expected to be 50% happier, but, in reality I became 200% happier. I’m not sure exactly why my happiness multiplied exponentially, but, now I wish I’d figured this out ten years ago.

What exactly did I do? The main thing was to change my perspective. I will admit, this is easier said than done. I guess for me I just accepted that work was part of ‘real’ life and I should treat it that way. I started taking things a bit more seriously. Not only doing what needed to be done, but, living up to the same high standard I set for myself at home.

I also broke down the mental barrier I had built up with the people around me. I used to be of the mindset that you leave work at work, and that included the people. But, when I started opening up and getting to know my coworkers outside of work (Facebook is a wonderful place to do that), that is when things got fun. Now I’m not spending a third of my day, and the majority of my adult interactions, with people I barely know, but, I’m getting to spend the day with friends.

My #HappyAct challenge is for you to reevaluate work. Find a way to get connected with your job and the people around you. Good luck.

Contributing author: Mathew is a very productive and sarcastic cubicle citizen who reads way too many Dilbert comics. He blogs about his life outside of work at theplaceunderthepine.blogspot.ca.

Ed. Note: Great post Matt and so true! Consider these stats from Officevibe.com:

  • Seventy percent of employees believe having friends at work is the most crucial element of a happy work life.
  • One-third of adults have met at least one of their closest friends through work.
  • Seventy-four percent of women and 58 percent of men say they would turn down a higher-paying job if it meant they wouldn’t get along with their co-workers.

 

Posted on in Uncategorized

Be a secret Santa

Secret santaI’ve mentioned before that I’m lucky to work with some of the nicest people you’d ever want to meet. Our work is as hectic as the next place—seems there is no down time these days. They call it the “new normal”. But in December, we make time to celebrate the season and each other’s company.

Some of the traditions we’ve started is helping to pack hampers for the Salvation Army as a team, writing hand-written personal cards, and of course, lots of holiday treats, goodies and a potluck.

This year the gang wanted to do something different than our ordinary gift exchange, and we landed on Secret Santa. We drew names (well, we actually had to draw twice since Jessica put her name on every slip the first time), and for the next two weeks, we are going to delight the person whose name we drew with little surprises to make their day. It’s been so much fun thinking of what I can do for my Secret Santa friend. I can’t wait until the 19th when we have our potluck, exchange gifts and have our “secret Santa reveal”.

This week’s #HappyAct is to be a secret Santa to somebody. Surprise them with a little gift, treat or card telling them how great they are, decorate their cubicle or hang an ornament on their front porch. Embrace the spirit of giving. Let the merriment begin.

Posted on in Uncategorized

Hug a dog

Girl hugging dog
Grace giving Bella a bear hug

There’s an incredible story circulating on the internet about a seven-year old German Shepherd in Italy and its devotion to its owner (watch this one-minute video).

It made me think, what makes us so devoted to our dogs and pets? I think the answer is simple. They are devoted to us, and like children, they give us unconditional love. They also instinctively know when we need comfort or companionship. Whether we’re laid up in bed sick with the flu, in tears after an emotional day, or curled up on the couch enjoying a coffee on a snowy Sunday morning, they are always there by our side. (Even now as I write this, I say Murphy’s name and he starts thumping his tail, raises his head, looks up at me with his big brown eyes and groans in contentment.)

Studies show that pet owners tend to be happier people. Pet owners exhibit greater self-esteeem, are more physically fit, less lonely, more conscientious and socially outgoing, and have healthier relationship styles. I swear that my father lived longer because of our old dog, Bailey.

Most hospitals or long-term care facilities have programs where they bring dogs in to visit with the residents, and there have been some inspirational stories about the positive effects dogs have with children with autism. From a practical standpoint, they are also one of the best home security systems you could ever have (I used to work for a home and property insurer, and I can unofficially tell you we’d rarely get claims of stolen goods from houses where there was a dog.)

Yes, dogs are incredible creatures.

This week’s Happy Act is to hug a dog (or cat if you have one). If you don’t have a dog, offer to take a neighbour’s dog for a walk, or better yet, drop in to your local animal shelter. Most animal shelters are looking for volunteers to help exercise their clients. And when you’re finished, don’t forget to give them a big hug and a pet. Leave a comment, what do you love about your pet?

Posted on in Uncategorized

Busta move

Girls dancing
Dancing in our pjs on a Sunday morning

I love to dance. At concerts, I find it hard to sit down. If I’m not standing, my feet are tapping and I’m groovin’ in my seat. When my kids were babies, they would be cranky in the evening, so I’d crank up the music and dance with them in my arms around the room. Now my daughter is 11 and she’s embarrassed any time I dance in public.

I love watching young children dance, because they don’t care—they have no inhibitions. They’ll gyrate and do the goofiest moves, letting their little bodies move and groove to the music. As adults, sadly, we become more self-conscious of how we look when we dance.

This week’s Happy Act is to dance. It’s the holiday party season so maybe you can cut a rug on the dance floor with your co-workers, check out a club, or busta move with your kids in your living room. It doesn’t matter, just dance.  You’ll be smiling when the music stops.

Here’s a picture of the gang staying at my house this weekend busting a move to David Wilcox in our jammies in my living room. To inspire you, check out this video of the 2012 Shag Dancing champions. But don’t try this at home kids, you might just bust a hip or a knee instead of a move.

Posted on in Uncategorized

The Happy Act blog

Welcome to my blog. This blog is a new adventure for me. Each week, I’ll explore something that makes me happy and issue a weekly challenge we can do together—one Happy Act that will hopefully help you feel happy too.

Confession time. I’m not a psychologist. I’m not a Super Susie type, you know the kind of person that is so happy and positive all the time, it drives you crazy. I’m not even that great a writer.

So why should you embark on this journey with me? I can’t give you a good reason other than why not? If doing one happy act a week brings a bit more happiness into your life and into the world, then isn’t it worth it? Because happiness is not something we aspire to, it’s not a destination. You don’t find it. The phrase the pursuit of happiness is hogwash. Happiness is a state of being, and to be happy, you need to do little acts of happiness.

This week’s Happy Act is to call an old friend. Meet them for coffee, call them on the phone or send them a message on Facebook or LinkedIn. It will feel good to connect with them again. Here’s a picture of us catching up with some old friends who moved to Edmonton and who we hadn’t seen in seven years.

Catching up with old friends