Whistle while you work

Panda in tree saying he hates mondaysSpecial guest blog

I was joking around with a co-worker recently, pointing out that she has spent about 65,000 hours at work. Granted, she has been working for 35 years, but, when you actually see a number like that you realize–that is a lot of time.

Even the significantly smaller number of 8 hours (your average work day) takes up a third of your day and about half of your awake time.

So, what if you are unhappy at work? According to my numbers, about half your life will be wasted.

There have been times in my career when I was unhappy at work and counting down the 47,000 or so hours I had left until retirement. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the job, or the people, or the idea of contributing to society. It was that work got in the way of ‘real’ life. It got in the way of family and friends. It was time consuming.

So I made a change. I dismantled the wall between work and ‘real’ life. I realized I was wasting so much time and negative energy on something that, maybe, wasn’t so bad. I had to be there, so why not embrace it?

I did. The change was more than I expected. According to the numbers I expected to be 50% happier, but, in reality I became 200% happier. I’m not sure exactly why my happiness multiplied exponentially, but, now I wish I’d figured this out ten years ago.

What exactly did I do? The main thing was to change my perspective. I will admit, this is easier said than done. I guess for me I just accepted that work was part of ‘real’ life and I should treat it that way. I started taking things a bit more seriously. Not only doing what needed to be done, but, living up to the same high standard I set for myself at home.

I also broke down the mental barrier I had built up with the people around me. I used to be of the mindset that you leave work at work, and that included the people. But, when I started opening up and getting to know my coworkers outside of work (Facebook is a wonderful place to do that), that is when things got fun. Now I’m not spending a third of my day, and the majority of my adult interactions, with people I barely know, but, I’m getting to spend the day with friends.

My #HappyAct challenge is for you to reevaluate work. Find a way to get connected with your job and the people around you. Good luck.

Contributing author: Mathew is a very productive and sarcastic cubicle citizen who reads way too many Dilbert comics. He blogs about his life outside of work at theplaceunderthepine.blogspot.ca.

Ed. Note: Great post Matt and so true! Consider these stats from Officevibe.com:

  • Seventy percent of employees believe having friends at work is the most crucial element of a happy work life.
  • One-third of adults have met at least one of their closest friends through work.
  • Seventy-four percent of women and 58 percent of men say they would turn down a higher-paying job if it meant they wouldn’t get along with their co-workers.

 

Age is just a letter

This week is my birthday, and let’s just say it has a zero in it. I’m OK with that, because to quote my favourite line from Dumb and Dumber To, “Age is just a letter, Harry”.

I remember once my father-in-law telling me that despite being in his 80’s now and feeling all that the number 80 entails, in his mind he was still 17, looking for the next adventure and ripping it up with his buddies in Harriston.

We may age in our bones, but not in our hearts and minds.

This week’s #HappyAct is to repeat after me, “Age is just a letter, Harry.” You are never too old or too young to try something new, do something silly, learn, grow, love, fail or set out on your next adventure.

Here are some of my other favourite lines from Dumb and Dumber To—watch it on video when it comes out. While I know some critics panned it, I thought it was hilarious and even funnier than the first one!

“Water under the fridge”

Hook, line and sphincter”

“I’ve always wanted to go to India and volunteer at one of those leprechaun colonies,” “I think you mean Ireland.”

A year of #HappyActs

Happy in AfricaThis week is a milestone for my blog. It has been exactly one year since I started on this journey of doing one happy act a week and inviting others to join me. With any venture, at some point you have to take stock and see if what you are doing is making a difference

So if money could buy happiness, here’s the million dollar question. After one year of happy acts, am I happier? Oddly enough, I think the answer is yes.

Not, in the “OMG, I have a fabulous new job, get to travel the world and meet fabulous people” way (mainly because I have the same old job, travel only occasionally and usually to Napanee, and only get to meet new people at parent council meetings or at work), but in a more subtle and sublime way. And I suspect the reason why all boils done to one revealing truth: self-awarenesss.

There were many reasons I started this blog. Being happier myself wasn’t one of them (the irony). But by simply being more aware of what makes me happy and actively engaging in acts of happiness, I think I am happier.

This week’s #HappyAct is a double assignment. First, take stock. Are you happy? Why or why not? What parts of your life are you satisfied with? What aspects are leaving you feeling less fulfilled? Pinpoint one thing you would like to focus on or change, and make it a goal this year to be happier in this realm of your life. I did this recently when I cleared some columns on the spreadsheet of life. Your second act is to keep joining me each week in this journey of discovery and help me by sharing the happy by sharing an occasional post or two.

 

Like next week’s post, where I’ll share what I think is the key to happiness—don’t miss it!

8 things NOT to do if you want to be happy

Our great Pyrenees Bella  likes to gnaw on the drywall in our sunroom in the middle of the night
Our great Pyrenees Bella likes to gnaw on the drywall in our sunroom in the middle of the night

It’s been almost a year since I started this blog. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading my posts on Sundays, thinking more about what makes you happy and doing each week’s Happy Act.

After almost a year of happy acts, and being more aware of what makes me happy, I’ve also learned what doesn’t make me happy. Here is “the list”.

Eight things NOT to do if you want to be happy

  1. Offer to drive four 8-year olds to summer camp for an entire week
  2. Get a Great Pyrenees as a pet
  3. Go bathing suit shopping unless you’re a size 6 or less
  4. Leave your interior car light on at the Watertown airport while rushing to catch an early morning flight and coming home to a dead battery at 11 p.m. at night
  5. Hang out with negative people
  6. Pick white berries for your holiday wreath (I learned the hard way poison ivy has white berries)
  7. Wear nylons
  8. Challenge your kids to a farting or burping contest

This week’s #HappyAct is really easy—don’t do any of these things! Have a happy week!

Write an old fashioned thank you note

Donna Swinton
My thank you note to Donna Swinton

This is Thanksgiving weekend, a time when most of us will spend time with family, eat way too much turkey and give thanks.

My mother-in-law still writes old fashioned thank you notes. I wanted to send Donna a special thank you note this Thanksgiving, so I bought a pretty card and sent it to her. I thought I would share it with you too. This is what the card said:

Thank you for not making me name my daughters Gladys

Thank you for the gift of music, our beautiful old piano

Thank you for putting up with John for the last 59 years

Thank you for welcoming me into your family and always treating me like a daughter

Thank you for fixing the zipper on my favourite dress

Thank you for proving that you can have a successful career and be a good mother at the same time

Thank you for somehow being at the same time both the best and worst Cheat card player I’ve ever seen

Thank you for teaching your son how to cook

Thank you for making sandies at Christmas time

Thank you for your youthful giggle and smile that was probably one of the many reasons John fell in love with you all those years ago and still loves you so dearly today

Thank you for your unconditional love and support

Thank you for being the strength and soul of the Swinton clan

This week’s #HappyAct is to write an old fashioned thank you note. Send it to someone who holds a special place in your heart or share it at the table this weekend when you’re giving thanks. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

 

Have an active fantasy life

Cast of TV show fantasy islandSince starting this blog, I’ve become a big fan of the postsecret.com blog which I gave a nod to on my About page.

One of the secrets shared last week was “Sometimes when I am driving I pretend a famous person is sitting in the passenger seat having a great time with me.”

While I haven’t done that exactly, I’ll admit there’s been the odd morning when I’ve arrived at work after my 40-minute commute without even being conscious of driving because I daydreamed about what I would do if I won the lottery.

I’ll reveal another one of my secrets. Growing up, I loved watching Love Boat and Fantasy Island on Saturday nights. It was exciting to be whisked away each week to an exotic locale, a new romance and a new fantasy.  Today, fantasy TV has been replaced by reality TV. Why? It must be because there’s just not enough reality in our lives.

I think it’s time we bring fantasy back into our lives. Fantasizing can be liberating, exciting, and inspiring.  It’s an escape from the ho-hum and can get your creative juices flowing, spark your imagination and make you feel happy.

And yet I’m going to go out on a limb and say I bet most people won’t admit to having an active fantasy life. It’s a bit like admitting you vote Green or watch The Batchelor.

This week’s Happy Act is to fantasize. I don’t expect you to share your fantasy but if you are comfortable sharing, please keep it clean—this blog is rated G and some of my kids’ friends read it. I would like to try a little experiment though. How many of you are willing to at least post a comment admitting you fantasize sometimes (and I know you do). How brave are you? Let’s see.

 

Love the one you’re with

 

Husband and wife
Valentine’s selfie

I was watching Modern Family the other night, still one of the best sitcoms on TV, and there was a great line. “You fall in love with this extraordinary person, and then after twenty years of marriage, find yourself married to an ordinary person.” I think this is so true.

I have some friends who aren’t particularly happy in their marriages. Actually, the funny thing is I’m not sure they’re unhappy, they’re just not enthralled with their partner any more. Chock it up to boredom, or just 20 years of living with the same person, but somewhere along the way, they’ve stopped seeing the things that attracted them to their partner and have forgotten why they love them.

Part of the problem is we’re sold a bill of goods when we get married.  According to movies and magazines, the fairy tale romance is followed by a storybook wedding and the happy ever after ending. It’s no coincidence that romantic comedies end when the couple kiss, instead of on their tenth or twentieth wedding anniversary.

Other cultures don’t subscribe to this fantasy view of marriage. Last year we visited Tanzania and had some interesting discussions about true love and marriage. Our guide told us he didn’t believe in true love and that in Tanzania, marriage is seen as a partnership. Other cultures believe in arranged marriages.

Crosby Stills Nash sang, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” This week’s Happy Act on Valentine’s Day weekend is to love the one you’re with. Look at your partner and make a mental list of what made you fall in love with them.  Kiss them like it was the first time you kissed them.  Tell them all the reasons you love them. Love the one you’re with.