Do something adventurous

Young man in the 1930s standing in front of an airplane
John Gillies, the pilot

My father was a creature of habit. He had five shirts in his closet, one for Monday to Friday. He ordered the same meals when we went out for dinner and always golfed on Sundays in the summer. The neighbours set their clocks by his daily walk with our old dog Bailey.

When my Dad passed away 12 years ago, we held a celebration at a restaurant. There were lots of laughs and drinks raised in his honour, which is exactly how he would have wanted it. When we were putting together a small display for the restaurant, the full richness of my Dad’s life starting forming in the pages, and it struck me that my dad had a hidden adventurer in him.

There were pictures of him fishing in Northern Ontario and playing trombone at the Palais Royale in Toronto. There were photos of him standing nonchalantly in an airplane hanger in front of the plane he flew when he was in his 20s. There were photos of him meeting the Queen of England (as the press coordinator for the Royal tours in Canada in the 70’s, he met most of the royal family several times and dined on the Royal yacht).

I like to think there is a bit of a hidden adventurer in all of us. In many ways I am like my dad, a creature of habit, but with a hidden adventurer waiting to explore the world and the next adventure in my life.

This week’s #HappyAct is to do something adventurous. While often it’s the small moments and gestures in our lives that bring us the most joy and happiness, we all need a bit of adventure. My adventure this week will be tree top trekking in Muskoka next weekend with my girlfriends. And yes, I’ll be bringing my bug zapper!

To all you Dads out there celebrating Father’s Day, I hope it’s one of the best days of your life, and to my own wonderful husband, the “President Choice of Husbands”, thank you for being such a wonderful partner and father all these years.

Plan the best day of your life

I once heard an interview with Mike Myers of SNL and Austin Power fame where he was asked what his perfect day would look like. His answer was the exact same as mine. Well, actually, I have two perfect days and they both centre around my lake.

My first perfect day is a winter’s day (the same as Mike’s). I would sleep in, have a couple of cups of coffee and read the papers. The brilliant blue sky and warm sun shimmering on the snow would beckon me outside and I’d go play hockey on my lake all day, then come up for a glass of wine in front of the fire and a hot tub.

My perfect summer day starts off the same—sleeping in. Then I’d either sneak down to the lake for an early morning kayak or read the papers on the back deck. I might putter in the garden for a few hours or walk the dogs, but the day would be spent at the lake, swimming, reading, fishing, going for a paddle boat with my two girls and watching the sun kiss their hair, or exploring the waters with my snorkel and mask. The wine and hot tub part pretty well stays the same no matter what the season.

This week’s #HappyAct is to plan the best day of your life. What would it look like? Leave a comment and share—I’d love to hear it. One more #HappyAct for today: watch this funny, but heartwarming video from the band American Authors, the dog version of the best day. If you live in Ontario, don’t forget to vote Thursday.

Carry on the wisdom of mother Maya

Maya Angelou once said she had thousands of daughters. I was one of them. I had never met this great lady but like thousands of other women, have been inspired by her words and wisdom and was devastated when I learned of her passing on Wednesday at the age of 86.

Nearly all of my favourite quotes are from Maya Angelou. One I live by. It is “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” This has become a mantra for me in how I try to live my life and in my work as a communicator.

Here are some of my other favourite Maya Angelou quotes

“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”

“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.”

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”

“All great artists draw from the same resource: the human heart, which tells us that we are all more alike than we are unalike.”

“You can tell a lot about a person by the way she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

“There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you.”

This week’s #HappyAct is to carry on the wisdom of our mother Maya. Tell the untold story inside of you. Go out and kick some ass. Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud. God bless, Maya.

Buy a bug zapper

Lady with bug zapper
Practicing my form on the back deck

It’s a cruel joke when you live in Canada that as soon as the weather gets warm, the bugs come out. First, it’s swarms of black flies, followed by mounds of mosquitoes, then the cavalry arrives in the form of deer flies and horse flies that literally take a chunk out of your skin when they bite you.

I have found solace in this world of insects. It’s called a bug zapper.

The first bug zappers were potent. You could see the electricity coursing through the electric coils, and see and hear the spark when the bug got zapped. The latest versions have been dialed down a bit, probably because too many kids stuck their finger or tongue in them and got hurt.

To me, bug zappers are one of the pure joys of summer. They allow you to shift power and take back control in the war against bugs.

This week’s Happy Act is to buy a bug zapper. Don’t be driven indoors or let pesky pests spoil your summer. It will be the best $1.50 you’ll spend.

Clear some columns on the spreadsheet of life

cartoon character wants freedom from spreadsheetsI don’t know about you, but I’ve been a bit too busy lately. It all came to a head this week between work, school commitments, travelling and neglecting my family. It’s time to clear some columns on the spreadsheet of life.

I think most people carry around a virtual spreadsheet in their head. Mine has columns for work, Boards I sit on, school council to dos, social events, family commitments, planning the kids summer camp schedule, stuff to do around the house…some days it feels like the columns keep multiplying.

And then the May long weekend and summer comes along. Glorious, wonderful summer. Time to slow down, kick back and relax, and grab a beer.

Being busy is good. Being busy to the point where you miss spending time with your family or are constantly thinking about work or calculating your next move isn’t good. It’s easy to make the mistake of thinking it’s the sum on the spreadsheet that counts. It’s not. It’s the joy and enrichment you get out of life from the items on the rows and columns.

So welcome summer. It’s about time you got here. This week’s Happy Act is to clear some columns on your spreadsheet of life. Live in the moment and clear your mind of everything except wondering if the beer is cold and the lake is warm enough for that first dip.

Gotta go and make a to do list—let’s see, make potato salad, buy garden plants, buy beer…

This week’s reads

If you didn’t get a chance to read last week’s blog, Take the 90/110 challenge, read it now and take the challenge. Stay safe on the roads this weekend friends.

Tired of summer taking its sweet time? Read this great Toronto Start editorial, “Star demands action: Spring, you’re late.

Take the 90/110 challenge

road sign slow downNext weekend is the May long weekend, one of the deadliest on our roads and highways.

My daily commute includes twenty minutes on Highway 38, a regional highway with a speed limit of 80 kms and five minutes on the 401. Along 38, there are three fences on the side of the road where shrines have been erected in memory of people who were killed in accidents on this very busy two-lane highway.

There are many contributing factors to the high death toll on our roads: not driving for the conditions and distracted driving being two, but in my mind driving too slowly, or driving too fast are still the two main offences in making our roads unsafe. Daily I see people making dangerous passes because someone is poking along under the speed limit or people driving 30 kms over the speed limit (the ones passing recklessly). It’s a miracle there aren’t more shrines on my road.

Our roads have become busier and busier. Witness the carnage on the 401 this past winter and the swath of multi-vehicle collisions and tractor trailers mangled in the ditch. Let’s put a stop to this now.

This week’s Happy Act is to take the 90/110 challenge. Drive 90 kms on roads with a posted speed limit of 80 and 110 on the 400 series of highways. Reduce your stress, and make the roads safer for all of us. Save money and the environment too. Here is some US data on the cost savings and fuel savings of reducing your speed even 10 kms. At $1.39 per litre for gas, think about it.

From the US department of energy: The average car’s advertised MPG is 55 mph. Here is the drop in fuel efficiency as your speed increases:

  • 3% less efficient at 60 mph
/110 km
  • 8% less efficient at 65 mph/115 km
  • 17% less efficient at 70 mph/120 km

Bottom line for a 30 km highway commute: If you drive at 100 km instead of 120 km you could save $496.40 per year and your commute would only be four minutes longer.

Talk to strangers

Cartoon that says don't talk to strangers, don't talk to anyoneIf you read last week’s blog, you’ll know I was planting trees this past weekend. Hope you got your hands dirty too. One of the gentleman who was volunteering at Lemoine’s Point knee-deep in mud yesterday told me that his great great grandfather was a brick layer who came over from England. He had designed and built the portico in our Parliament Buildings in Ottawa.

We also got into an interesting conversation about physical education in our school’s system, and how children need daily exercise in order to focus and do well in school. He cited studies that showed students did dramatically better on math tests when they engaged in 60 minutes of exercise immediately before testing.

We go to school, take courses, attend workshops and conferences to learn, and yet one of the most easiest and free ways to learn is simply by talking to people.

Especially strangers. When you talk to a stranger, you are more likely to learn something new and see things from a whole new perspective.

Travelling is wonderful for this. When I travel, I always talk to the person sitting next to me. On recent flights, I’ve met a girl who worked for Mastercard who was a personal consultant to high net worth clients (she advised people with millions of dollars on how to get the most of their card purchases). One time I sat next to a songwriter from Nashville who was on his way to Chicago for a high school reunion. He had written songs for stars like Willy Nelson.

When I was in New Orleans this March, I had lunch at a diner style place (these places are great for single travelers who don’t want to eat alone) and met the priest from St. Louis Cathedral who told us what it was like to live in the middle of “bedlam” as he referred to living on the edge of Bourbon Street. My cab driver who drove me to the airport told me he had just signed up for Obamacare which led to an interesting discussion on health care in the United States. Even when I’m travelling to Toronto or Montreal on business on the train, I try to shut my laptop down for 20 minutes and talk to the person sitting next to me.

We can learn so much if we reach out and talk to people. This week’s Happy Act is to talk to a stranger. Strike up a conversation, ask about what they do, their family. I’d love to hear what you learned, so leave a comment and share your experience.

A special note to parents this week: One of my biggest pet peeves as a parent is when I hear another parent say to their kids “Don’t talk to strangers”. I remember years ago going out for Dave’s mother’s birthday for a family celebration to a restaurant in Burlington. Next to us, another family was celebrating a birthday. Dave’s Mom, who was around 65 at the time leaned across and said a few words to the young girl, and her mother hissed at her to not talk to strangers. Dave’s Mom was crushed.

Do we really want to teach our children not to talk to other people? I get the safety thing, but there is a HUGE difference in engaging in polite, idle conversation with people, and getting in a car and going somewhere with them. We’ve taught our children the difference, and things like code words to keep them safe. But telling them not to engage with others and learn from others is so terribly sad. If you have young children, I beg of you, please banish this phrase from your vocabulary.

 

Get your hands dirty

IMG_1439I moved to the country about 20 years ago. I wasn’t sure whether I was going to like it, having lived in the suburbs most of my life. Much to my surprise, I fell in love with this area, its vastness, beauty, community spirit and the freedom we have to roam and explore. I feel like I can breathe here.

Country life isn’t for everyone, and this post is not meant to wax poetic on the joys of country living. But I do believe that in today’s urban culture, we have become separated from the land that sustains us physically, emotionally and spiritually.

We have moved from a society of hunters and gatherers, to producers and manufacturers, to knowledge workers who use screens and devices to do our work. What toll does this have on us as human beings? Have we lost basic skills of survival? Have we lost a respect for our land and its sustainability? Have we suffered spiritually or emotionally from not being firmly grounded with terra firma?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. All I know is when we drive back from Toronto and pass the final townhouse in Oshawa and see the open fields, I sigh a big sigh of relief and rejoice in the sights and smells of the land on my way home.

This week’s Happy Act is to get your hands dirty and plant something. Saturday, May 3 is Community Tree Planting Day in Ontario. I’ll be planting trees twice this week. My kids’ public school is having a work bee to build a new garden as part of the school’s Eco Schools initiative (a big shout out to Union Gas for donating $1,000 and volunteers to help with this project). On Saturday, my entire family will be at Lemoine’s Point Conservation Area planting trees for the Cataraqui Conservation Area. If you go to the Trees Ontario website, you can find out where you can plant trees in your community this Saturday.

NOTE: Apologies for the late post this week for you Sunday morning regulars. Our home internet was down for the last five days–country living!

Here’s some pictures from the tree planting: Volunteers from Union Gas with a young helper, and my family at Lemoine’s Point in Kingston.

Union gas volunteers planting trees

 

 

Swinton family planting trees

Listen to the lull of a waterfall

Waterfall
At our secret waterfall

Like most Canadians I long for the sounds of spring. The returning honks of Canadian geese gracing the sky on their flight path home, the high pitched chirps of spring peepers in the early evening, and the sounds of rushing water as our lakes, streams and rivers run free, washing away the remains of winter. They are music to my winter weary ears.

As I write this, I look out at my lake and it is still frozen, covered with a fresh skiff of snow. Most people think ice breaks up on the lakes. It doesn’t. It turns blacks, and then honeycombs before sinking, so one day you come home to the marvelous sight of open, shimmering water and the promise of warm, summery days ahead.

One of our favourite walks in the spring is to our secret waterfall. I don’t know how many people on our road know about it. We are the only people we ever see there. It only runs for a few weeks during the spring run off, but it is magnificent. We throw sticks at the top and watch anxiously to see if they navigate the rushing waters and make it over the crests of the rock to the pools below. The kids make forts and splunk in the channels, getting soakers but not caring. The dogs splash and drink from the cool, fresh water. It is a magical place.

This week’s Happy Act is to go for a hike to a waterfall and be lulled by its soothing sounds. Here is my list of favourite waterfalls in our region and some farther afield for you to discover.

  1. Jones Falls on the Rideau canal: a beautiful afternoon hike off of Highway 15, featuring a stone arch dam built in the 1830’s. Park in the upper parking lot and follow the trail along the dam down to the canal below.
  2. Bedford Mills cascade: small, but spectacular scenery off of Division Street north of Kingston half way to Westport. We’ve done a family photo shoot here.
  3. The Waterfall Tearoom in Yarker—yummy homemade fare overlooking a gorgeous little waterfall, open from Victoria Day to Thanksgiving.
  4. Frontenac Park, Slide Lake Loop—a challenging 21 km hike that passes Labelle Gorge and a series of waterfalls.
  5. Montmorency Falls just outside of Quebec City. It’s been many years since I’ve been there, but I still remember its magnificence.
  6. Cataract Falls in Forks of the Credit Provincial Park in Caledon—lots of great memories here as a child.
  7. Elora Gorge on the Grand River—my girlfriends and I had lunch in the restaurant overlooking these falls a couple of years ago on one of our girls’ weekends.
  8. Niagara Falls—never disappoints, I’ve never seen them from the American side though…maybe next visit

WaterfallRushing waterMoss on rocks

The power of positive words

Puppy with words who is awesome, you are awesomeRecently I was in a team planning session at work and for an icebreaker, we had to share what our favourite word was. I was intrigued by the words the people at my table chose and why.

One girl chose the word “fluffy” because of the way it sounds, and all the f’s. Another girl liked the word “cozy” because of the way it made her feel. One guy loved the word “awesome” and said he used it all the time.

Words are the frame for the pictures we paint for people. Let me give you an example. I used to complain about being overweight. One day a co-worker said to me, “you know, Laurie, I never thought of you as heavy until you kept calling yourself overweight.” Needless to say, I’ve stopped saying anything about my weight any more. Through my choice of words, I had painted a negative image in the person’s mind.

Never underestimate the power of positive words. They can be highly persuasive and influential in creating the outcome you want to achieve. This is no secret to any business leader or those of us in communications and in media who know it’s all about crafting the right message to achieve a desired behaviour or action.

This week’s Happy Act is to join me in a little experiment. Choose five positive words and use them at least twice a day for the next week and see what happens. One of my words is going to be Awesome. Some people say words like Awesome are overused, but I think that’s just because the word is so awesome.

Report back on what you found: did you find you had a more positive outlook this week? Did you notice any change in the behaviour of the people you talked to? Leave a comment. Have an awesome week.