Tag: family

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Give the gift of happy and make someone’s day

mug, notebook, platterThis Mother’s Day, I received a very special present from Clare. It was the gift of Happy. A bright yellow mug with a smile on it, a yellow notepad that said “I’m so happy”, a pretty platter that said “Today I will make magic happen” and a cheery notebook with “Sunshine is instant happiness” on the cover. It made my day.

As parents, we hope we do right by our children. Teach them right from wrong. Be a good role model. Be kind. Lend a hand. But most times you wonder if your kids hear anything you say, let alone learn from you.

Case in point. For the past three months, I’ve been asking the kids to take their breakfast plate and cup and put it in the dishwasher instead of the sink. Have they listened to me and done it? No. But I know one day they will shock the h-e-double hockey sticks out of me and the dishes will miraculously start appearing in the dishwasher instead of the sink. That’s just how it works with kids.

My kids don’t read this blog. The odd time they’ll check it out when they know I’ve written something about them. Dave is a regular reader, but I think it’s more to check up on what I’m saying about our family than for his own pleasure. But when I got that beautiful gift of happy for Clare for Mother’s Day, it made me feel like maybe, just maybe a little part–the best part of me–was rubbing off on my daughters. It was a double dose of happiness.

This week’s #HappyAct is to give a happy gift. For all you Moms and kids out there wondering what to buy your child’s teacher for an end-of-school-year present, or Dad for Father’s Day, give the gift of happy.

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Reflections on hope, life and happiness from my nine-year old daughter

girl in kayakSpecial guest blog by Clare Swinton

On hope…

“The other day I was walking by the river side, wishing for hope in my life. Then along came a beaver, and he said, ‘Don’t wish for hope. Make hope happen.”

On life…

“Life is a gift. There are bumps and hills in life, but life is a gift.

“When you open a gift, it is when you are born. Do not waste that present because life is a gift.”

“You don’t see it, but hundreds and millions of people don’t even survive to open their eyes. Humans commit suicide and do not think what it will do the the people in their lives. They are in terrible times, but life is a gift.”

“People cannot see how special life is. Life is to live free.”

“When you are near a campfire, wish for today. Life is a gift.”

On happiness…

“Happiness is….life.”

This week’s #HappyAct is to treat each day as a precious gift and see life through the eyes of my beautiful, wise daughter.

 

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Write your own employment contract

employment contractIt’s scary how many people I talk to fielding work calls and emails at all hours of the day.

This has what the work world has come to these days. But I’ll let you in on a little secret. You can write your own employment contract. I wrote mine years ago after I got laid off early in my career. Here’s what I promised myself:

  • While on vacation, I will not check my email. I’ll make sure I have sufficient back-up and confidence in my team to handle anything that comes up in my absence.
  • I won’t work weekends unless there is something out of the ordinary that necessitates cutting into my precious time with my family.
  • I believe that someone else’s lack of planning does not constitute a crisis in my day and I have pledged to never be the cause of a crisis for people I work with because of my lack of planning. That would be disrespectful.
  • I deserve and will take at least 10 or 15 minutes to eat my lunch.
  • Whenever possible, I will go for a short walk at lunch to clear my head, and get a few minutes of exercise and fresh air.
  • I will leave the office at a reasonable time each night so I can have dinner with my family. My productivity takes a nose dive about an hour after my normal work day ends, so it is not in my best interests or the best interests of my company for me to stay.
  • I will work my hardest and uphold the highest standards of professional integrity.

This week’s #HappyAct is to write your own employment contract. Do you think mine is realistic today, or am I a dinosaur? Leave a comment.

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Get into the swing and brush up on your game

 

Girl learning to golfA couple of weeks ago, we met my brother and his wife at one of those indoor golf simulators, where you can play a round on a world-class golf course while swilling a pitcher of beer from the comfort of a couch. I had forgot how much fun these places are.

This was the first time we took the kids out for a golf excursion. The same tired phrases uttered by my mother and father thirty years ago became a steady stream out of our mouths, “Keep your head down, don’t take your eye off the ball, don’t stop mid-swing, follow through”.

The kids did pretty well actually—they are both naturally athletic. We all had a blast and it was a great way to spend a chilly Saturday afternoon.

Here are five reasons to brush up on your swing indoors at a golf simulator before heading out on the course:

  1. Most simulators have a maximum two-putt rule–how great is that?
  2. For people learning the game, or casual golfers you can take each other’s shots
  3. When you land in a water hazard, you can choose how you want to play your next shot and where you drop the ball
  4. You don’t have to worry about remembering how many shots you take (although this can be humbling too, I think my brother who is an ace golfer won the round by about 40 strokes)
  5. Did I mention they serve beer?

The funniest moment of the day was when the head of Dave’s driver broke off mid-swing at the tee at a long par 5 and went flying into the simulator screen. Luckily no one got hurt. I’ve seen clubs break before, but usually at the hands of the golfer. I’ve never seen one split apart mid-swing.

This week’s #HappyAct is to get into the swing and brush up on your game, whatever your game may be. Have a great week everyone.

 

Broken golf club

The gallery at a golf simulator

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Imagine your dream home

Girl looking up lakeThere’s a vacant lot up the road. It faces west, has a clearing with a charming apple tree and is surrounded by beautiful pines. It would be the perfect spot to build your dream home.

We’ve never built before and probably never will, but it’s fun to imagine…

…a quaint Cape Cod style house with a large wrap-around deck with a screened in porch to enjoy bug-free summer nights…

…beautiful English style perennial gardens, a hot tub on the back deck and a swim-up bar at the lake…

…a games room with a pool table, ping pong table, air hockey and shuffleboard…

…two bathrooms, and a bedroom with a walk-in closet…

I think that’s reasonable, don’t you? Grace on the other hand has a different dream: to build a tiny house that she’d leave on our property, but that would be on wheels so she could move if she got tired of us (our kids clearly watch too much HGTV). Clare’s dream home would have a hockey rink.

Actually, I don’t have to imagine my dream home. I’ve found it. There’s a cottage on Sydenham Lake that is absolutely stunning. I’d be happy to live in their garage.

cottage on lake
My dream house on Sydenham Lake

This week’s #HappyAct is to imagine your dream home. What would yours look like? Leave a comment, and have fun dreaming.

 

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A bagpiper walks into a blog

Man in kiltSpecial guest blog by David Swinton.

Ok, I’ll admit it. When my wife started this blog, I rolled my eyes and said ‘God Help Us’. Why would any person feel she is in a position to tell others how to be happier?

For a while, I even nicknamed it the ‘Crappy Act’. But personally deep down, I knew that there was no one better qualified to accomplish this mission. I have known my wife for almost 35 years. To this day, she continues to amaze me with her positive, energetic look at life. You might not always agree with her take on happiness (what the heck is an Easter Chicken anyway) but you loyal readers still come week after week to expand your happiness quotient.

When she asked me to fill in for her this week, I knew exactly what I wanted to say. After my Mom died over a year ago, I spent a lot of nights asking myself why should someone so giving of herself be taken in such a cruel manner. As with all tragic events, I started to question my own existence and where I fit into this continually evolving saga we call life. As my thoughts drifted more and more, I realized how complicated my own life had become. Between work, hockey practices, 4-H, bagpipes and the general pace of the world these days, I felt myself struggling to stay engaged. What kind of life is that? You only get one shot at it, folks.

So, in response to this, I have decided to focus at least a half hour each day to the appreciation of the simplest things in my life. One day, it might be the cardinal that has mysteriously appeared after my mother (an avid birder) died. The next day it might be the sound of wind whistling through the large pines around the house. One night I might watch a flying squirrel drift into the feeder from the darkness of the forest. The next, read a good book in a quiet corner boiling maple syrup. Laugh with your child as she pranks you for April Fools or savour a cold Corona at 10 in the morning on a hot day. Kneel down while your 9 year old shows you how intricate insect galleries under pieces of bark from a dead tree can be. Explain to her that the simplest of organisms created something this beautiful.

Your assignment this week? Put the world away for a half hour, slow down and take the time to glean a moment of pure joy from your world. And next week, enjoy while someone with actual writing talent takes back this blog.

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Take a leap of faith and start a new tradition

Picture of woman trying to lasso a manEvery four years, we get a unique and wonderful opportunity–an entire extra day in the finite cycle of time to do whatever we want.

Leap year traditions date back hundreds of years, the most famous of which is the Irish tradition of young women proposing to their often reluctant-to-wed sweethearts on February 29th. Many other Leap year traditions follow along this same theme of women taking matters in their own hands to find wedded bliss. Here are some modern twists to Leap Year traditions for you to consider starting:

  • Say a little prayer—this tradition dates back to ecclesiastical times where a member of the clergy would say a prayer for couples contemplating marriage in case the person being proposed to said “no”
  • Throw a Leap Year party—this was a chance for women to ask a man to dance, but you can just make it an excuse to throw a once-in-every-four years blow-out bash
  • Send a card—this tradition stems back to the days when women would send postcards to men as invitations to a Leap Year party—why not send a thank you note or note of appreciation to someone you know to make their day, or have a little fun and send a note from a secret admirer
  • Buy a new pair of gloves: Queen Margaret of Scotland in 1288 required that fines be levied if a marriage proposal was refused by the man. The fine was a pair of leather gloves, a single rose and a kiss (the gloves were meant to mask the ring finger of the woman)
  • Of course, if you’re single, and there’s someone in your sights, this is your chance to go for it!

I thought I would add a few of my own Leap Year traditions to the list:

  • Brew a special batch of Leap Year beer or if you’re a winemaker, Leap Year wine to imbibe throughout the year
  • Declare Feb 29th Reverse Roles day. If you have kids, make them the parents—tell them they can make all the decisions about what you eat and do that day. If you’re in a relationship, switch roles—whatever household duties you’d normally do, switch with your partner
  • And my personal favourite: lobby the government to declare Feb 29 a National Holiday so we can truly gain an extra day in the year to do whatever we want (who’s in?)This week’s #HappyAct is to adopt one of these Leap Year traditions or start your own. How will you celebrate Leap Year? I’m off to buy new leather gloves. Leave a comment.
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How well do you bounce?

George Patton quoteHere’s a riddle for you. What do Taylor Swift and Wipeout have in common? They are teachers of resiliency.

My kids love Wipeout, that show where people jump from huge balls in a wacky obstacle course. Inevitably, they get knocked down, and the audience waits to see how quickly they can get back up and complete the course.

We all get knocked down in life. It’s how you bounce back, or in the words of TSwift, Shake It Off that is a real test of character. If you can develop resiliency, you’ll have far greater chance of being happy.

Here are 7 things I’ve found has helped build resilience.

  1. Always look for a silver lining. No matter how bad things are, see if you can see a positive —what did you learn about yourself or the other person if someone else is involved, or maybe just be proud of how you handled the situation.
  2. Believe all things happen for a reason. This has been a personal mantra of mine for years. It leads to acceptance faster, and then you can move on.
  3. Share the load. The first thing Dave and I do when we have a bad day is unload on each other. It’s one of the things I love most about him—that no matter what happens, I can come home and share my feelings and he will always listen and support me.
  4. Be self-aware. Take time to deconstruct what happened and why it affected you the way it did. Don’t dwell on the past, but be self-aware to learn and grow. Read my earlier post on developing emotional intelligence.
  5. Refocus on what’s important. Once you’ve deconstructed the event, focus on the future and what’s next. Set goals. Decide where you go from here and take decisive action.
  6. Recharge your batteries. When we’ve been knocked down, it takes a toll, both physically and emotionally. Take time to recharge your batteries. Go for a walk, zone out, do something that will help you get your inner strength and resolve back.
  7. Laugh in the face of adversity. This one’s easier said than done, but sometimes forcing yourself to laugh or trying to find humour in the situation can help.

This week’s #HappyAct is to think about how resilient you are. When you get knocked down, how fast do you bounce back? Try some of these tips to help build your resiliency. Leave a comment–how do you stay strong so you can bounce back?

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Toast your buns

Mother and daughter in car
Grace and I fighting over the heated car seats

Minus 27 degrees Celcius. The deep freeze is finally here. The consensus on Facebook yesterday seemed to be the best way to beat the cold was to stay inside.

Not us. We spent three hours down at the lake yesterday, clearing off the rink, skating, skiing and even having a hot dog cookout. After warming up inside, we headed out again, this time in the car to Westport for a church spaghetti supper.

I don’t consider myself high maintenance. I don’t own a Coach purse or Gucci wallet. I drive a 10-year old Honda and I’m just as happy with a simple pasta supper at home or at the church in Westport than getting dressed up and going out to a fancy restaurant.

But there is one luxury I have come to appreciate, especially in the dead of winter–heated car seats.

Whenever we venture out on a cold day, the girls and I race to Dave’s car and fight over the front seat. The victor hops in the passenger side and cranks the dial to 24 or 25 and waits for the warmth of the seat to make their tush tingle. It’s luxury, pure luxury on a cold winter’s day.

Clare usually wins, because she “claims” she gets car sickness in the back seat of Dave’s car. Grace and I think it’s a sinister ruse. Trust me, it’s hard to be sympathetic when the little minx blurts out “My buttocks are burning!”

Happiness isn’t a warm puppy when it’s minus 27 outside. Happiness is a heated car seat.

This week’s #HappyAct is to fight for the front seat, or find something to keep your buns toasty warm. And if one of your kids claims they feel car sick, be heartless. Race as fast as you can to claim the front seat–no butts about it.

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7 Ways You Can Score Free Stuff

Family with free t-shirt and hatsWith cauliflower costing $7 these days, finding ways to save money is a smart strategy. Finding ways to score free stuff is even smarter.

Last night we were at the KROCK Centre watching the Kingston Frontenacs Game beat the Niagara Ice Wolves. It was blue and white night, and after the whistle, they were throwing Maple Leaf t-shirts into the crowds. Home Depot held a drilling competition during one of the intermissions and were giving away free hats. We scored on both fronts at the Fronts!

Then on the way home, we’re in the Tim Hortons drive thru and they made a mistake on our order so we scored an extra two donuts and hot chocolate. It was a banner night in the Swinton household.

Scoring free stuff is great on the pocketbook, but it’s also just pure fun. Here are seven ways you can score free stuff:

  1. Attend a sports event. At the last three or four games we’ve been to, we’ve scored free t-shirts and hats. You don’t have to spend a mint either on the admission ticket. Last year we went to the Queen’s-Ryerson men’s and women’s double header basketball game and scored free t-shirts.
  2. Shop at Costco. Sure, you may wind up a few hundred dollars in the red when you leave the place, but if you try all the samples, you’ve basically scored a free meal.
  3. Sign up for a charity walk or ride. Many charity events, like the Big Bike for Heart and Stroke give you a free gift for different pledge levels—a win-win for everyone.
  4. Look for introductory offers for organizations. As an outdoorsman, Dave takes out an annual membership to the Ontario Federation of Anglers and Hunters. They have this amazing introductory offer where you get a tackle box full of lures, a reel, fishing line and more.
  5. Watch for 2 for 1 coupons on items, especially if it was something you were going to buy anyway. If you don’t need the second item, tuck it away for a gift.
  6. Attend a trade show or fair. These are goldmines for scoring free stuff!
  7. When travelling, research which local attractions are free or have free days. When I was in Washington last year I was surprised to learn that all of the Smithsonian museums are still free to the public. This may not technically qualify as free stuff, but with the high cost of vacation travel these days, finding free things to do is a fantastic score.

This week’s #HappyAct is to see what you can score for free this week. Just be prepared for the inevitable argument when your nine-year old insists on wearing her new Maple Leafs t-shirt to bed when your Canadiens loving spouse bans all blue and white in the house. What’s your best free stuff score? Leave a comment!