Take the 90/110 challenge

road sign slow downNext weekend is the May long weekend, one of the deadliest on our roads and highways.

My daily commute includes twenty minutes on Highway 38, a regional highway with a speed limit of 80 kms and five minutes on the 401. Along 38, there are three fences on the side of the road where shrines have been erected in memory of people who were killed in accidents on this very busy two-lane highway.

There are many contributing factors to the high death toll on our roads: not driving for the conditions and distracted driving being two, but in my mind driving too slowly, or driving too fast are still the two main offences in making our roads unsafe. Daily I see people making dangerous passes because someone is poking along under the speed limit or people driving 30 kms over the speed limit (the ones passing recklessly). It’s a miracle there aren’t more shrines on my road.

Our roads have become busier and busier. Witness the carnage on the 401 this past winter and the swath of multi-vehicle collisions and tractor trailers mangled in the ditch. Let’s put a stop to this now.

This week’s Happy Act is to take the 90/110 challenge. Drive 90 kms on roads with a posted speed limit of 80 and 110 on the 400 series of highways. Reduce your stress, and make the roads safer for all of us. Save money and the environment too. Here is some US data on the cost savings and fuel savings of reducing your speed even 10 kms. At $1.39 per litre for gas, think about it.

From the US department of energy: The average car’s advertised MPG is 55 mph. Here is the drop in fuel efficiency as your speed increases:

  • 3% less efficient at 60 mph
/110 km
  • 8% less efficient at 65 mph/115 km
  • 17% less efficient at 70 mph/120 km

Bottom line for a 30 km highway commute: If you drive at 100 km instead of 120 km you could save $496.40 per year and your commute would only be four minutes longer.

Talk to strangers

Cartoon that says don't talk to strangers, don't talk to anyoneIf you read last week’s blog, you’ll know I was planting trees this past weekend. Hope you got your hands dirty too. One of the gentleman who was volunteering at Lemoine’s Point knee-deep in mud yesterday told me that his great great grandfather was a brick layer who came over from England. He had designed and built the portico in our Parliament Buildings in Ottawa.

We also got into an interesting conversation about physical education in our school’s system, and how children need daily exercise in order to focus and do well in school. He cited studies that showed students did dramatically better on math tests when they engaged in 60 minutes of exercise immediately before testing.

We go to school, take courses, attend workshops and conferences to learn, and yet one of the most easiest and free ways to learn is simply by talking to people.

Especially strangers. When you talk to a stranger, you are more likely to learn something new and see things from a whole new perspective.

Travelling is wonderful for this. When I travel, I always talk to the person sitting next to me. On recent flights, I’ve met a girl who worked for Mastercard who was a personal consultant to high net worth clients (she advised people with millions of dollars on how to get the most of their card purchases). One time I sat next to a songwriter from Nashville who was on his way to Chicago for a high school reunion. He had written songs for stars like Willy Nelson.

When I was in New Orleans this March, I had lunch at a diner style place (these places are great for single travelers who don’t want to eat alone) and met the priest from St. Louis Cathedral who told us what it was like to live in the middle of “bedlam” as he referred to living on the edge of Bourbon Street. My cab driver who drove me to the airport told me he had just signed up for Obamacare which led to an interesting discussion on health care in the United States. Even when I’m travelling to Toronto or Montreal on business on the train, I try to shut my laptop down for 20 minutes and talk to the person sitting next to me.

We can learn so much if we reach out and talk to people. This week’s Happy Act is to talk to a stranger. Strike up a conversation, ask about what they do, their family. I’d love to hear what you learned, so leave a comment and share your experience.

A special note to parents this week: One of my biggest pet peeves as a parent is when I hear another parent say to their kids “Don’t talk to strangers”. I remember years ago going out for Dave’s mother’s birthday for a family celebration to a restaurant in Burlington. Next to us, another family was celebrating a birthday. Dave’s Mom, who was around 65 at the time leaned across and said a few words to the young girl, and her mother hissed at her to not talk to strangers. Dave’s Mom was crushed.

Do we really want to teach our children not to talk to other people? I get the safety thing, but there is a HUGE difference in engaging in polite, idle conversation with people, and getting in a car and going somewhere with them. We’ve taught our children the difference, and things like code words to keep them safe. But telling them not to engage with others and learn from others is so terribly sad. If you have young children, I beg of you, please banish this phrase from your vocabulary.

 

Get your hands dirty

IMG_1439I moved to the country about 20 years ago. I wasn’t sure whether I was going to like it, having lived in the suburbs most of my life. Much to my surprise, I fell in love with this area, its vastness, beauty, community spirit and the freedom we have to roam and explore. I feel like I can breathe here.

Country life isn’t for everyone, and this post is not meant to wax poetic on the joys of country living. But I do believe that in today’s urban culture, we have become separated from the land that sustains us physically, emotionally and spiritually.

We have moved from a society of hunters and gatherers, to producers and manufacturers, to knowledge workers who use screens and devices to do our work. What toll does this have on us as human beings? Have we lost basic skills of survival? Have we lost a respect for our land and its sustainability? Have we suffered spiritually or emotionally from not being firmly grounded with terra firma?

I don’t know the answers to these questions. All I know is when we drive back from Toronto and pass the final townhouse in Oshawa and see the open fields, I sigh a big sigh of relief and rejoice in the sights and smells of the land on my way home.

This week’s Happy Act is to get your hands dirty and plant something. Saturday, May 3 is Community Tree Planting Day in Ontario. I’ll be planting trees twice this week. My kids’ public school is having a work bee to build a new garden as part of the school’s Eco Schools initiative (a big shout out to Union Gas for donating $1,000 and volunteers to help with this project). On Saturday, my entire family will be at Lemoine’s Point Conservation Area planting trees for the Cataraqui Conservation Area. If you go to the Trees Ontario website, you can find out where you can plant trees in your community this Saturday.

NOTE: Apologies for the late post this week for you Sunday morning regulars. Our home internet was down for the last five days–country living!

Here’s some pictures from the tree planting: Volunteers from Union Gas with a young helper, and my family at Lemoine’s Point in Kingston.

Union gas volunteers planting trees

 

 

Swinton family planting trees

Listen to the lull of a waterfall

Waterfall
At our secret waterfall

Like most Canadians I long for the sounds of spring. The returning honks of Canadian geese gracing the sky on their flight path home, the high pitched chirps of spring peepers in the early evening, and the sounds of rushing water as our lakes, streams and rivers run free, washing away the remains of winter. They are music to my winter weary ears.

As I write this, I look out at my lake and it is still frozen, covered with a fresh skiff of snow. Most people think ice breaks up on the lakes. It doesn’t. It turns blacks, and then honeycombs before sinking, so one day you come home to the marvelous sight of open, shimmering water and the promise of warm, summery days ahead.

One of our favourite walks in the spring is to our secret waterfall. I don’t know how many people on our road know about it. We are the only people we ever see there. It only runs for a few weeks during the spring run off, but it is magnificent. We throw sticks at the top and watch anxiously to see if they navigate the rushing waters and make it over the crests of the rock to the pools below. The kids make forts and splunk in the channels, getting soakers but not caring. The dogs splash and drink from the cool, fresh water. It is a magical place.

This week’s Happy Act is to go for a hike to a waterfall and be lulled by its soothing sounds. Here is my list of favourite waterfalls in our region and some farther afield for you to discover.

  1. Jones Falls on the Rideau canal: a beautiful afternoon hike off of Highway 15, featuring a stone arch dam built in the 1830’s. Park in the upper parking lot and follow the trail along the dam down to the canal below.
  2. Bedford Mills cascade: small, but spectacular scenery off of Division Street north of Kingston half way to Westport. We’ve done a family photo shoot here.
  3. The Waterfall Tearoom in Yarker—yummy homemade fare overlooking a gorgeous little waterfall, open from Victoria Day to Thanksgiving.
  4. Frontenac Park, Slide Lake Loop—a challenging 21 km hike that passes Labelle Gorge and a series of waterfalls.
  5. Montmorency Falls just outside of Quebec City. It’s been many years since I’ve been there, but I still remember its magnificence.
  6. Cataract Falls in Forks of the Credit Provincial Park in Caledon—lots of great memories here as a child.
  7. Elora Gorge on the Grand River—my girlfriends and I had lunch in the restaurant overlooking these falls a couple of years ago on one of our girls’ weekends.
  8. Niagara Falls—never disappoints, I’ve never seen them from the American side though…maybe next visit

WaterfallRushing waterMoss on rocks

The power of positive words

Puppy with words who is awesome, you are awesomeRecently I was in a team planning session at work and for an icebreaker, we had to share what our favourite word was. I was intrigued by the words the people at my table chose and why.

One girl chose the word “fluffy” because of the way it sounds, and all the f’s. Another girl liked the word “cozy” because of the way it made her feel. One guy loved the word “awesome” and said he used it all the time.

Words are the frame for the pictures we paint for people. Let me give you an example. I used to complain about being overweight. One day a co-worker said to me, “you know, Laurie, I never thought of you as heavy until you kept calling yourself overweight.” Needless to say, I’ve stopped saying anything about my weight any more. Through my choice of words, I had painted a negative image in the person’s mind.

Never underestimate the power of positive words. They can be highly persuasive and influential in creating the outcome you want to achieve. This is no secret to any business leader or those of us in communications and in media who know it’s all about crafting the right message to achieve a desired behaviour or action.

This week’s Happy Act is to join me in a little experiment. Choose five positive words and use them at least twice a day for the next week and see what happens. One of my words is going to be Awesome. Some people say words like Awesome are overused, but I think that’s just because the word is so awesome.

Report back on what you found: did you find you had a more positive outlook this week? Did you notice any change in the behaviour of the people you talked to? Leave a comment. Have an awesome week.

What do you do if your hashtag gets hijacked? Join the party!

Girl in kayak at sunset
My #HappyAct for the week: dreaming of when our ice will finally go out on the lake

When I first started this blog, I did a quick search to make sure no one was using happy act as a URL or hashtag. That changed on March 20, the International Day of Happiness when a group called actsofhappiness.org asked its community to share a #happyact on their wall or on their social networks. For each #happyact posted, they would donate $1 to Big Brothers and Big Sisters in the United States.

As of this morning, they had 11,539 posts on their wall. One woman from Pennsyvlania wrote, “I’m happy because my premature son that weighed 2lbs 10oz is turning a happy and healthy 6 years old on Monday.” Brenda from Iowa wrote, “I’m happy because I am alive, I have many good friends, and loving family.”

There are many organizations and websites dedicated to helping the world be a happier place. Randomactsofkindness.org is another popular one. We are not alone in wanting to bring more happiness into this world, and I say bring it on, the more the merrier. It’s time to join the party and make a difference.

Participating in these happiness and kindness movements that focus on selfless acts you can do for others is noble. But happiness also means being selfish sometimes and knowing what you need to do for yourself. I hope this blog is different from some of those other sites by digging deeper into what truly makes us happy and exploring topics not everyone talks about, like last week’s post on Have an active fantasy life.

For now, let’s join the party. This week’s #HappyAct is to post a picture or share a story using the #HappyAct hashtag on your Facebook page, Twitter account or on the actsofhappiness.org wall. Or feel free to email me your pic or story. Some day, I hope to have this functionality on this blog, but one step at a time. Have a happy week.

 

Have an active fantasy life

Cast of TV show fantasy islandSince starting this blog, I’ve become a big fan of the postsecret.com blog which I gave a nod to on my About page.

One of the secrets shared last week was “Sometimes when I am driving I pretend a famous person is sitting in the passenger seat having a great time with me.”

While I haven’t done that exactly, I’ll admit there’s been the odd morning when I’ve arrived at work after my 40-minute commute without even being conscious of driving because I daydreamed about what I would do if I won the lottery.

I’ll reveal another one of my secrets. Growing up, I loved watching Love Boat and Fantasy Island on Saturday nights. It was exciting to be whisked away each week to an exotic locale, a new romance and a new fantasy.  Today, fantasy TV has been replaced by reality TV. Why? It must be because there’s just not enough reality in our lives.

I think it’s time we bring fantasy back into our lives. Fantasizing can be liberating, exciting, and inspiring.  It’s an escape from the ho-hum and can get your creative juices flowing, spark your imagination and make you feel happy.

And yet I’m going to go out on a limb and say I bet most people won’t admit to having an active fantasy life. It’s a bit like admitting you vote Green or watch The Batchelor.

This week’s Happy Act is to fantasize. I don’t expect you to share your fantasy but if you are comfortable sharing, please keep it clean—this blog is rated G and some of my kids’ friends read it. I would like to try a little experiment though. How many of you are willing to at least post a comment admitting you fantasize sometimes (and I know you do). How brave are you? Let’s see.

 

Bowl me over

girl and uncle bowling
Grace and her Uncle Lloyd show their form at Garrison Lanes

One of our favourite family outings is to the bowling alley.  This weekend, Dave’s sister and her family visited and we spent Saturday afternoon at Garrison Lanes, our favourite bowling alley on the Base in Kingston.

Reasons why bowling is the best sport ever

  • You can bowl when you’re 9 or 90
  • You can drink beer while bowling
  • The shoes—need I say more?
  • The cool tunes from the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s
  • The glow in the dark lanes
  • The smash of the pins when you get a strike
  • Those big wooden ramps for kids that basically let you cheat
  • Choosing the perfect strike ball (solid or pattern?)
  • You get to knock stuff over and no one yells at you

Is there any greater sport on earth? I think not. This week’s Happy Act is to bowl me over with your best bowling story. Spare me no excuses and strike a chord with your fellow Happy Act followers.  In case you missed it, check out this post on 8 things to make you feel like a kid again.

The Crappy Act

Picture of a bird pooping on a cartoon headA few weeks ago my husband sent me an email at work. The subject line was  “The Crappy Act”. It was three short lines that went something like this.

“Car wouldn’t start. Looked down while having my morning coffee and saw dog puke that needed cleaning up. Get to work only to have to deal with three burning issues. Think you should rename your blog.”

There are days when, let’s face it, life is crap, days when it feels like the entire universe is conspiring against you. If you’re lucky, they are few and far between and the good days outweigh the bad.

We all have bad days. The main thing is to not take it out on the people around you, but find a way to blow off the steam and hopefully salvage what’s left of the day.

This week’s Happy Act is to be kind to yourself the next time you have a bad day and  indulge in something that is going to make you feel better. Go to the gym, drink a glass of wine, eat a tub of ice cream, or escape from life’s daily grind and see a movie on the big screen. Do whatever it takes to make you feel better while remembering this too shall pass and tomorrow will be a brighter day.

What do you do at the end of a crappy day to destress? Leave a comment. A note about this week’s graphic: I’m a big fan of the retailer Life is Good. They make great t-shirts, clothes and dog products, but I love the Life is Crap brand even more. If you’re into writing or websites, check out their website, it’s hilarious with menus like, “Guy’s crap”, “Join the crap community” and their blog, “From the Crapper“.

Take a long winter’s nap

Mother and child napping
Clare and I curled up for a nap on our bed, with Murphy looking on

I love sleep, so I hate this weekend when we lose an hour’s sleep. Personally, I don’t understand why we need Daylight Savings Time. This Hour Has 22 Minutes did a great spoof on the time change this week portraying a sleep-deprived Saskatchewaner.

Winter and sleep just seem to go together. One of the greatest luxuries in the winter is curling up for a long winter’s nap. It’s just so decadent, lying under the fluffy duvet, looking out at the trees while the afternoon suns streams through the window and letting your eyes slowly close as you drift off to glorious slumber.

I wasn’t much of a napper until I had kids when it became a survival tactic. My husband comes from a long line of nappers. Growing up on a farm, they’d be up early doing chores, have their main meal at lunch, then have a short afternoon siesta before going back to the barn.

In today’s hectic age, I think napping has become a coping mechanism. Last week was a perfect example. I was travelling on business and hadn’t slept at all the first night in the hotel. On Friday night, I was up in the middle of the night, and by Saturday I was an exhausted wreck. A quiet day at home and a long winter’s nap was just what the doctored ordered to make me feel like myself again.

This week’s Happy Act is to take a long winter’s nap. You’ll need it after losing an hour’s sleep and if you’re lucky, when you wake up, maybe winter will be gone for good.