Tag: happiness

Posted on in inspiration

Where do you turn when you feel all alone?

sign that says this too shall passI’ve learned something important about happiness this week. It’s hard to be happy when you feel all alone in the world.

This week, for reasons I won’t disclose I’ve felt very alone and isolated. In fact, I can’t ever recall feeling quite this way before. I struggled to find my own inner happiness. I tried, oh, how I’ve tried, but I’ve learned it’s difficult to be happy when you feel all alone.

Here are some of the things that helped this week. Hopefully they will help you too if you ever find yourself feeling this way.

  • Being around other people. On Friday, I went for a skate at Market Square in Kingston. Just being around other people laughing and having fun outside on a beautiful cold winter’s day made me feel better
  • Spending time with my animals. No matter what, your pets will always love you.
  • Spending time outside—feeling the sun on my face, going for a walk on a crisp wintry night surrounded by the stars
  • Calling an old friend and hearing a friendly voice
  • Playing the piano. When I play the piano, I forget everything else and just concentrate on the notes, and the beautiful melodies floating up from the keys.
  • Writing—I guess it’s no surprise I’m writing this post at 4 in the morning when I couldn’t sleep

When all else fails, indulge in a good bout of tears, preferably in a hot tub under the stars. At least, that’s what my Mom always used to say (well, not the hot tub part–that piece of wisdom is mine).

This week’s #HappyAct is to share a comment on this week’s post. Have you ever felt all alone in the world? What did you do? And don’t worry about me. I’m hopeful, this too shall pass.

Ed. note: While generally I try to post positive, uplifting happy acts each week, I believe it’s just as important to know and spark discussion on what makes us unhappy.

Posted on in inspiration

Top Ten Happy Acts of 2016

top 10 happy acts of 2016While you’re having a hooga holiday, why not curl up and revisit some of my top happy acts in 2016? Enjoy the read!

On the lighter side

  1. Toast your buns—readers warmed to this post on heated car seats.
  2. Life’s a beach
  3. Fall Fan Fair
  4. Forget the Super Bowl, Watch the Puppy Bowl. It’s official. After this year’s Grey Cup, there’s no contest. Three downs beat four downs hands down. The Super Bowl is usually a snoozefest so you might as well watch the puppy bowl.

On work and wellbeing

  1. How well do you bounce: seven things to help you be more resilient
  2. Write your own employment contract: ideas for maintaining work-life balance
  3. Be a thermostat, not a thermometer: how to deal with stress

On making the world a better place

  1. Reach out your hand in peace and friendship: I wrote this post before Trump, before Aleppo. If you are bewildered about what’s happening in the world, read this post.
  2. Sharing the happy and the bad
  3. Say what you mean

There you have it. My top ten #HappyActs of 2016. Watch next week for my top predictions for 2017.

Posted on in relationships

Have a hooga holiday

feet in front of a fireI have a new favourite wood. Hooga. Hygge (which is pronounced “hooga”) is the ancient Danish tradition of creating a warm atmosphere to relax in with friends and family. The origin of the word actually comes from a Norwegian word that means “well-being”.

Picture Christmas eve. You’re in your fluffy socks and fresh onesie from Santa, sipping cocoa or Baileys, surrounded by family and soft candlelight. You have nowhere to go, no set plans. Just time to visit and relax. That’s hooga.

It’s a philosophy that we Canadians as northern people should adopt. A philosophy that embraces simplicity, comfort and time to unwind and slow down and enjoy relaxing time with family or friends.

The Danes may be on to something. Denmark is regularly voted one of the happiest countries of the world. In fact, Copenhagen is home to The Happiness Research Institute and many Danes believe that hooga is a recipe for a happier life and well-being.

The art of hygge has become so popular, Morley College in London has started teaching it as part of their Danish language course.

If you’re not convinced hygge is for you, consider this. “The most important contributor to our psychological wellbeing is the strength of our relationships, and hygge definitely tends to encourage more close and intimate time with loved ones,” according to Dr. Mark Williamson, Director of Action for Happiness at The Happiness Research Institute.

Yes, baby it’s cold outside. Let it snow. Be gay. We don’t care. We’re going to have a hooga holiday. Happy hooga holidays, everyone!

Ed. note: I am so grateful for my warm, cozy house, but my thoughts always turn to those who are less fortunate and homeless on the cold streets. Why not make a donation to a local shelter this holiday?

Posted on in inspiration, Uncategorized

Joy to the world

joy-to-the-worldThe word “joy” is rarely used until the Christmas season arrives when it permeates our language. That’s because many Christians equate joy with the religious love of God for all creatures on earth.

Even if you aren’t religious, the holiday season can be a time of great joy for people who experience deep contentment, gratitude or happiness.

What is the difference between joy and happiness?

Alan McPherson, a retired minister of Central Presbyterian Church in Hamilton, distinguishes between happiness and joy this way: “Happiness is an emotion. Joy is deeper, more long-lasting. It is based more on inner certainties, not external events.”

Healthpyschology.org has a similar, but slightly different definition, saying happiness is an emotional state of well-being defined by positive feelings ranging from contentment to intense joy.

There are many passages in the bible that use joy and happiness interchangeably and yet religious groups often equate joy with God’s love to mean a more deeper, long-lasting emotion.

For me, the moments of joy in my life are the times when I have felt supremely happy and at one with the world. These moments are rare, but so very special.

This week’s #HappyAct is to find joy this holiday season. Celebrate peace on earth and a time when joyful all ye nations rise. Listen to a choir echoing its joyous strains and repeat the sounding joy. The weary world rejoices for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Posted on in Uncategorized

The Sounds of Silence

morning sunIt’s 8:30. I’m sitting in the sunroom sipping my morning coffee, the sun streaming through the windows.

The house is still.

Bella is sprawled full-length on the futon, one eye half-open. Murphy is lying quietly at my feet, occasionally stirring to scratch an itch.

Clare is curled up on the living room couch under a blanket, fast asleep. Grace is at a friend’s sleepover.

Dave, the early riser of the house, is still in bed.

I hear nothing.

No kids yelling. No phones ringing or devices beeping. No irritating noise of the TV in the background. No dogs barking.

Just the sounds of silence.

This week’s #HappyAct is to find a few precious minutes this week to enjoy a moment of peace, quiet and solitude.

Dog sleeping on couch

 

 

Girl sleeping

Posted on in Uncategorized

Sharing the happy and the bad

Photo album
A page from an old photo album of one of our family vacations in Maine

The other day I met my friend William for lunch. William, a loyal reader of my blog asked me a really funny question. He asked, “Do you plan crazy things each week as a family so you have something to blog about, or are all the fun things you do just a regular part of your life?”

His second question made me burst out laughing. He then asked, “How can it be that your family is so happy all the time?”

It made me think of that quote, “Remember, as far as anyone knows, our family is normal.”

For the record, our family is normal. The kids fight. Dave and I natter at each other over closing the closet doors, how to load the dishwasher, and which way the toilet paper roll should hang on the hanger. (Luckily with three women in the house, we’ve trained our only male to leave the toilet seat down). We have our issues and challenges. Heck we even have a teenager in the house—‘nuff said.

We have our share of bad days and sad days, but we tend not to share these online. When Dave’s Mom passed away last year, we grieved privately.

Some may accuse us of whitewashing our lives on social media and not being authentic. I think it’s only natural we share the happy times in our lives. It’s no different than the days of yesteryear of photo albums and memory books. If you open the dusty pages of an old photo album, what do you see? Pictures of babies being born, graduations, weddings–the special moments in our lives we want to capture, remember and cherish, not photos of times of tears or fears or uncertainty in our lives.

With time, our memories become whitewashed. These images become our past. It is as it should be.

The interesting thing with social media is it can equally compel us to share a glimpse into our authentic selves. I remember reading with tears in my eyes the heart-wrenching posts on Facebook by Jann Arden when her father passed away and Sheryl Sandberg when her husband passed away. These two incredible women bared their souls in a time of immense grief and undoubtedly helped scores of others dealing with loss in their lives.

This week’s challenge is to share something happy and something real online. Be authentic, but know it’s okay to share the happier times. After all, focusing on the good in our lives is not a bad thing.

Posted on in Uncategorized

What a joke

trump hell toupeeThanks to our holidays, killing time in the car and Donald Trump, I’ve heard lots of great jokes lately. Joke telling is a dying art, unless you’re a late night talk show host or you’re an internet joke junkie. My Dad used to be a great joke teller. I don’t have his gift, but luckily I do have one good friend who still loves to tell a good joke and make us all giggle.

Here are some giggles to make you smile this week. And in the interest of full disclosure, some of these were told to me by my kids or kids we met in campgrounds, so they might be a bit corny.

How is a wife like a hand grenade?
Remove the ring and your house is gone

What day does an egg fear most?
Friday

How did Captain Hook die?
He got distracted and wiped his bum with the wrong hand

What’s the difference between an angry circus owner and a Roman barber?
One is a raving showman, and the other is a shaving Roman

Here are some Donald Trump jokes. He started out as a joke, now he’s the joke, but the joke will be on us if he wins (shudder).

What instrument does Donald Trump play?
The trumpet

Why is it impossible to finish a Donald Trump biography?
Because every page goes back to Chapter 11

How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?
Juan by Juan

What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?
Hair Force One

Whats Donald Trump’s favorite nation?
Discrimination.

And finally for the kids going back to school…

Teacher: “Kids, what does the fluffy chicken give you?”
Students: “Eggs!”
Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pink pig give you?”
Students: “Bacon!”
Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
Students: “Homework!”

This week’s #HappyAct is to tell a joke and bring a smile to someone’s day. I’ll end with this one on this week’s Happy Act:

“They say money doesn’t buy you happiness. Still, it’s always better to verify things for yourself.”

Posted on in Uncategorized

Write your own valedictory speech

Girl in grad dress with her grandfather
Grace with her grandfather at her graduation

A couple of weeks ago, I had the honour of hearing Grace deliver the valedictory address at her grade 8 graduation. I am so proud of the beautiful, smart funny person she has become. But I was especially proud because of what she shared that night and how brave she was.

Her words were insightful. She reflected on her classmate’s accomplishments, and spoke with hope and optimism about the future. I think we all need to take a moment for this kind of reflection especially at important milestones in our lives.

This week’s #HappyAct is to write your own valedictory address. Reflect on your accomplishments and look ahead and envision your future. Here’s Grace’s speech.

“Ladies and gentleman, fellow students. At this school, we come here for one reason and one reason only, and that is to learn. I have been at Prince Charles since I was in Junior Kindergarten and I’ve had my ups and downs, but overall, this school has helped me to find myself as well as my future.

Every person in this world is smart, whether it is sports, academics or leadership. Every person in this world is smart no matter how you describe it and I’m sure all the parents of the graduates are proud of what they have accomplished in life as a student as well as a person.

Tonight we are celebrating the first chapter in every graduate’s life. On our first day of high school next year we will be starting a new chapter, a new journey and a new way of life. I would just like to take this opportunity to thank everybody who has made our first chapter incredible—parents, teachers, family, friends, principals, vice-principals and many more.

We have created so many memories in the first chapter. The one memory I’ll never forget is coming second in the girls basketball tournament a few years back. Even though we lost in the finals, we still worked together as a team and we had such a great day.

I can still remember when some of the graduates didn’t know how to tie their shoes and now they are maturing into adults. Even this year as a class, we have created so many memories, such as playing a good game of Dr. Dodgeball in class, our year-end field trip to Canada’s Wonderland or the St. Lawrence Cooking program that we participated in earlier this year. These are all memories that we will never forget.

We all have challenges that we need to face in life, but when we do face them, it makes us stronger, better people. When I was three, I was diagnosed with autism and I had a lot of trouble making friends when I was younger, but I dealt with it because we have to face our challenges in life.

Life is a path and we have to choose our own way. May you always choose the right path. Thank you.”

Copyright Grace Swinton 2016

 

Posted on in Uncategorized

Give the gift of happy and make someone’s day

mug, notebook, platterThis Mother’s Day, I received a very special present from Clare. It was the gift of Happy. A bright yellow mug with a smile on it, a yellow notepad that said “I’m so happy”, a pretty platter that said “Today I will make magic happen” and a cheery notebook with “Sunshine is instant happiness” on the cover. It made my day.

As parents, we hope we do right by our children. Teach them right from wrong. Be a good role model. Be kind. Lend a hand. But most times you wonder if your kids hear anything you say, let alone learn from you.

Case in point. For the past three months, I’ve been asking the kids to take their breakfast plate and cup and put it in the dishwasher instead of the sink. Have they listened to me and done it? No. But I know one day they will shock the h-e-double hockey sticks out of me and the dishes will miraculously start appearing in the dishwasher instead of the sink. That’s just how it works with kids.

My kids don’t read this blog. The odd time they’ll check it out when they know I’ve written something about them. Dave is a regular reader, but I think it’s more to check up on what I’m saying about our family than for his own pleasure. But when I got that beautiful gift of happy for Clare for Mother’s Day, it made me feel like maybe, just maybe a little part–the best part of me–was rubbing off on my daughters. It was a double dose of happiness.

This week’s #HappyAct is to give a happy gift. For all you Moms and kids out there wondering what to buy your child’s teacher for an end-of-school-year present, or Dad for Father’s Day, give the gift of happy.

Posted on in Uncategorized

8 things to do on the May two-four to recharge your batteries

pig roast
Make a day trip to The Day of the Pig in Parham–the hoppin’ place to be on Sunday

The May two-four. The first official long weekend of summer. Since our family rarely goes away in the winter months, I find the Victoria Day weekend a lifesaver. It’s the first real chance after a long winter with no vacation to recharge our batteries. And I don’t know about you, but my batteries were running dangerously low before this weekend.

Whether you’re camping, cottaging or just enjoying time at home, my happy act this weekend is for you to enjoy the weekend to the fullest.

Here are eight things you can do to recharge your batteries on the May two-four

  1. Drink alcohol. Alcohol is known to be a great stress reliever. My favourite bevies of choice on the long weekend are a cooler on the dock, beer—any beer, any time, or a nice glass of red wine before dinner with appetizers on the back deck
  2. Take a cat nap in a lawn chair
  3. Plant some flowers
  4. Sleep in every day. Don’t make any plans before 10 a.m.
  5. Get out on the water—go for a kayak, fish or take a Thousand Islands cruise and enjoy the sun shimmering on the water
  6. The best part about long weekends is they give you a bonus day. Use it to the fullest by planning a special outing. If you’re in the Kingston area, why not head up to Seed to Sausage and The Day of the Pig in Central Frontenac today—an old fashioned pig roast with live music and artisanal cheese and beer makers from across Eastern Ontario to tantalize your taste buds.
  7. Watch some fireworks
  8. Do nothing at all. Sit. Relax. Watch the world go by. Just enjoy being.

This week’s #HappyAct is to enjoy this first glorious long weekend of the summer to the fullest. Have a great long weekend everyone.