Listen to the lull of a waterfall

Waterfall
At our secret waterfall

Like most Canadians I long for the sounds of spring. The returning honks of Canadian geese gracing the sky on their flight path home, the high pitched chirps of spring peepers in the early evening, and the sounds of rushing water as our lakes, streams and rivers run free, washing away the remains of winter. They are music to my winter weary ears.

As I write this, I look out at my lake and it is still frozen, covered with a fresh skiff of snow. Most people think ice breaks up on the lakes. It doesn’t. It turns blacks, and then honeycombs before sinking, so one day you come home to the marvelous sight of open, shimmering water and the promise of warm, summery days ahead.

One of our favourite walks in the spring is to our secret waterfall. I don’t know how many people on our road know about it. We are the only people we ever see there. It only runs for a few weeks during the spring run off, but it is magnificent. We throw sticks at the top and watch anxiously to see if they navigate the rushing waters and make it over the crests of the rock to the pools below. The kids make forts and splunk in the channels, getting soakers but not caring. The dogs splash and drink from the cool, fresh water. It is a magical place.

This week’s Happy Act is to go for a hike to a waterfall and be lulled by its soothing sounds. Here is my list of favourite waterfalls in our region and some farther afield for you to discover.

  1. Jones Falls on the Rideau canal: a beautiful afternoon hike off of Highway 15, featuring a stone arch dam built in the 1830’s. Park in the upper parking lot and follow the trail along the dam down to the canal below.
  2. Bedford Mills cascade: small, but spectacular scenery off of Division Street north of Kingston half way to Westport. We’ve done a family photo shoot here.
  3. The Waterfall Tearoom in Yarker—yummy homemade fare overlooking a gorgeous little waterfall, open from Victoria Day to Thanksgiving.
  4. Frontenac Park, Slide Lake Loop—a challenging 21 km hike that passes Labelle Gorge and a series of waterfalls.
  5. Montmorency Falls just outside of Quebec City. It’s been many years since I’ve been there, but I still remember its magnificence.
  6. Cataract Falls in Forks of the Credit Provincial Park in Caledon—lots of great memories here as a child.
  7. Elora Gorge on the Grand River—my girlfriends and I had lunch in the restaurant overlooking these falls a couple of years ago on one of our girls’ weekends.
  8. Niagara Falls—never disappoints, I’ve never seen them from the American side though…maybe next visit

WaterfallRushing waterMoss on rocks

The power of positive words

Puppy with words who is awesome, you are awesomeRecently I was in a team planning session at work and for an icebreaker, we had to share what our favourite word was. I was intrigued by the words the people at my table chose and why.

One girl chose the word “fluffy” because of the way it sounds, and all the f’s. Another girl liked the word “cozy” because of the way it made her feel. One guy loved the word “awesome” and said he used it all the time.

Words are the frame for the pictures we paint for people. Let me give you an example. I used to complain about being overweight. One day a co-worker said to me, “you know, Laurie, I never thought of you as heavy until you kept calling yourself overweight.” Needless to say, I’ve stopped saying anything about my weight any more. Through my choice of words, I had painted a negative image in the person’s mind.

Never underestimate the power of positive words. They can be highly persuasive and influential in creating the outcome you want to achieve. This is no secret to any business leader or those of us in communications and in media who know it’s all about crafting the right message to achieve a desired behaviour or action.

This week’s Happy Act is to join me in a little experiment. Choose five positive words and use them at least twice a day for the next week and see what happens. One of my words is going to be Awesome. Some people say words like Awesome are overused, but I think that’s just because the word is so awesome.

Report back on what you found: did you find you had a more positive outlook this week? Did you notice any change in the behaviour of the people you talked to? Leave a comment. Have an awesome week.

What do you do if your hashtag gets hijacked? Join the party!

Girl in kayak at sunset
My #HappyAct for the week: dreaming of when our ice will finally go out on the lake

When I first started this blog, I did a quick search to make sure no one was using happy act as a URL or hashtag. That changed on March 20, the International Day of Happiness when a group called actsofhappiness.org asked its community to share a #happyact on their wall or on their social networks. For each #happyact posted, they would donate $1 to Big Brothers and Big Sisters in the United States.

As of this morning, they had 11,539 posts on their wall. One woman from Pennsyvlania wrote, “I’m happy because my premature son that weighed 2lbs 10oz is turning a happy and healthy 6 years old on Monday.” Brenda from Iowa wrote, “I’m happy because I am alive, I have many good friends, and loving family.”

There are many organizations and websites dedicated to helping the world be a happier place. Randomactsofkindness.org is another popular one. We are not alone in wanting to bring more happiness into this world, and I say bring it on, the more the merrier. It’s time to join the party and make a difference.

Participating in these happiness and kindness movements that focus on selfless acts you can do for others is noble. But happiness also means being selfish sometimes and knowing what you need to do for yourself. I hope this blog is different from some of those other sites by digging deeper into what truly makes us happy and exploring topics not everyone talks about, like last week’s post on Have an active fantasy life.

For now, let’s join the party. This week’s #HappyAct is to post a picture or share a story using the #HappyAct hashtag on your Facebook page, Twitter account or on the actsofhappiness.org wall. Or feel free to email me your pic or story. Some day, I hope to have this functionality on this blog, but one step at a time. Have a happy week.

 

Have an active fantasy life

Cast of TV show fantasy islandSince starting this blog, I’ve become a big fan of the postsecret.com blog which I gave a nod to on my About page.

One of the secrets shared last week was “Sometimes when I am driving I pretend a famous person is sitting in the passenger seat having a great time with me.”

While I haven’t done that exactly, I’ll admit there’s been the odd morning when I’ve arrived at work after my 40-minute commute without even being conscious of driving because I daydreamed about what I would do if I won the lottery.

I’ll reveal another one of my secrets. Growing up, I loved watching Love Boat and Fantasy Island on Saturday nights. It was exciting to be whisked away each week to an exotic locale, a new romance and a new fantasy.  Today, fantasy TV has been replaced by reality TV. Why? It must be because there’s just not enough reality in our lives.

I think it’s time we bring fantasy back into our lives. Fantasizing can be liberating, exciting, and inspiring.  It’s an escape from the ho-hum and can get your creative juices flowing, spark your imagination and make you feel happy.

And yet I’m going to go out on a limb and say I bet most people won’t admit to having an active fantasy life. It’s a bit like admitting you vote Green or watch The Batchelor.

This week’s Happy Act is to fantasize. I don’t expect you to share your fantasy but if you are comfortable sharing, please keep it clean—this blog is rated G and some of my kids’ friends read it. I would like to try a little experiment though. How many of you are willing to at least post a comment admitting you fantasize sometimes (and I know you do). How brave are you? Let’s see.

 

Bowl me over

girl and uncle bowling
Grace and her Uncle Lloyd show their form at Garrison Lanes

One of our favourite family outings is to the bowling alley.  This weekend, Dave’s sister and her family visited and we spent Saturday afternoon at Garrison Lanes, our favourite bowling alley on the Base in Kingston.

Reasons why bowling is the best sport ever

  • You can bowl when you’re 9 or 90
  • You can drink beer while bowling
  • The shoes—need I say more?
  • The cool tunes from the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s
  • The glow in the dark lanes
  • The smash of the pins when you get a strike
  • Those big wooden ramps for kids that basically let you cheat
  • Choosing the perfect strike ball (solid or pattern?)
  • You get to knock stuff over and no one yells at you

Is there any greater sport on earth? I think not. This week’s Happy Act is to bowl me over with your best bowling story. Spare me no excuses and strike a chord with your fellow Happy Act followers.  In case you missed it, check out this post on 8 things to make you feel like a kid again.

The Crappy Act

Picture of a bird pooping on a cartoon headA few weeks ago my husband sent me an email at work. The subject line was  “The Crappy Act”. It was three short lines that went something like this.

“Car wouldn’t start. Looked down while having my morning coffee and saw dog puke that needed cleaning up. Get to work only to have to deal with three burning issues. Think you should rename your blog.”

There are days when, let’s face it, life is crap, days when it feels like the entire universe is conspiring against you. If you’re lucky, they are few and far between and the good days outweigh the bad.

We all have bad days. The main thing is to not take it out on the people around you, but find a way to blow off the steam and hopefully salvage what’s left of the day.

This week’s Happy Act is to be kind to yourself the next time you have a bad day and  indulge in something that is going to make you feel better. Go to the gym, drink a glass of wine, eat a tub of ice cream, or escape from life’s daily grind and see a movie on the big screen. Do whatever it takes to make you feel better while remembering this too shall pass and tomorrow will be a brighter day.

What do you do at the end of a crappy day to destress? Leave a comment. A note about this week’s graphic: I’m a big fan of the retailer Life is Good. They make great t-shirts, clothes and dog products, but I love the Life is Crap brand even more. If you’re into writing or websites, check out their website, it’s hilarious with menus like, “Guy’s crap”, “Join the crap community” and their blog, “From the Crapper“.

Take a long winter’s nap

Mother and child napping
Clare and I curled up for a nap on our bed, with Murphy looking on

I love sleep, so I hate this weekend when we lose an hour’s sleep. Personally, I don’t understand why we need Daylight Savings Time. This Hour Has 22 Minutes did a great spoof on the time change this week portraying a sleep-deprived Saskatchewaner.

Winter and sleep just seem to go together. One of the greatest luxuries in the winter is curling up for a long winter’s nap. It’s just so decadent, lying under the fluffy duvet, looking out at the trees while the afternoon suns streams through the window and letting your eyes slowly close as you drift off to glorious slumber.

I wasn’t much of a napper until I had kids when it became a survival tactic. My husband comes from a long line of nappers. Growing up on a farm, they’d be up early doing chores, have their main meal at lunch, then have a short afternoon siesta before going back to the barn.

In today’s hectic age, I think napping has become a coping mechanism. Last week was a perfect example. I was travelling on business and hadn’t slept at all the first night in the hotel. On Friday night, I was up in the middle of the night, and by Saturday I was an exhausted wreck. A quiet day at home and a long winter’s nap was just what the doctored ordered to make me feel like myself again.

This week’s Happy Act is to take a long winter’s nap. You’ll need it after losing an hour’s sleep and if you’re lucky, when you wake up, maybe winter will be gone for good.

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof

The nominated songs in the Best Original Song category in the Oscars have been hit and miss over the years. But tonight I’ll be watching anxiously to see if Pharrell Williams’ song Happy from the Despicable Me soundtrack wins the Oscar for Best Original Song. Pharrell will also be performing the song live on the show. The song topped the Billboard Hot 100 chart this week.

I love the lyrics to this song , lines like “Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof”,  but it’s the tune that’s contagious.

This week’s Happy Act is to watch his Happy video and join me in clapping along when Pharrell wins Oscar gold tonight. Before you know it, you’ll be snapping your fingers, clapping your hands and feeling like a room without a roof.

It might seem crazy what I’m about to say…clap along because happiness is the truth.

Take a line from Hedley

hedley-behind-scenesIt’s the end of the second period of the Olympic gold medal hockey game and the scene unfolding in my living room is the same one that is being played out in every living room in Canada—our entire family in our pajamas, cheering on our Canadian men to Olympic gold.

The success of our Canadian Olympian team in Sochi has been inspiring. As Don Cherry said to the millions of children watching this morning’s game, if you work hard, and have a dream, you can be a future Olympian.

My children were able to hear this message first-hand two weeks ago when they skyped goaltender Mike Smith, just before he went over to Sochi with the Olympic team. Mike graduated from our little country school and is a bit of a local hero. He told the kids as long as you try hard, and work hard, you can do anything.

There’s a term for this that our school has been focusing on to encourage the students to succeed. It’s called Growth Mindset. There’s a great Teds Talk video on growth mindset and the power of belief and its impact on success. Watch it. It reminds me of the line from one of my all-time favourite Canadian bands, Hedley, “I can do anything”.

On this final day of the Olympics with Canadians dominating, this week’s Happy Act is to take a line from Hedley and believe “I can do anything”. If you hear a voice in your head that says, “I can’t do this”, add the word “yet” to the end. Our Canadian athletes have shown us the way. Let’s follow their lead.

Love the one you’re with

 

Husband and wife
Valentine’s selfie

I was watching Modern Family the other night, still one of the best sitcoms on TV, and there was a great line. “You fall in love with this extraordinary person, and then after twenty years of marriage, find yourself married to an ordinary person.” I think this is so true.

I have some friends who aren’t particularly happy in their marriages. Actually, the funny thing is I’m not sure they’re unhappy, they’re just not enthralled with their partner any more. Chock it up to boredom, or just 20 years of living with the same person, but somewhere along the way, they’ve stopped seeing the things that attracted them to their partner and have forgotten why they love them.

Part of the problem is we’re sold a bill of goods when we get married.  According to movies and magazines, the fairy tale romance is followed by a storybook wedding and the happy ever after ending. It’s no coincidence that romantic comedies end when the couple kiss, instead of on their tenth or twentieth wedding anniversary.

Other cultures don’t subscribe to this fantasy view of marriage. Last year we visited Tanzania and had some interesting discussions about true love and marriage. Our guide told us he didn’t believe in true love and that in Tanzania, marriage is seen as a partnership. Other cultures believe in arranged marriages.

Crosby Stills Nash sang, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” This week’s Happy Act on Valentine’s Day weekend is to love the one you’re with. Look at your partner and make a mental list of what made you fall in love with them.  Kiss them like it was the first time you kissed them.  Tell them all the reasons you love them. Love the one you’re with.